|
John had
another
surprise
in store
for him
at
lunch.
"You
want me
to
kneel?"
Rodney
said the
words
slowly,
glaring
at his
top.
"I do,
yes,"
John
replied,
with
that
pleasant
smile of
his that
Rodney
was
coming
to hate.
"On the
floor?"
Rodney
queried.
"Yes.
Beside
me."
John
nodded.
"People
will be
able to
see,"
Rodney
hissed
from
between
clenched
teeth.
"Yes
they
will."
John
shrugged.
"What's
the
problem?
Miko
always
makes
her subs
kneel
when
she's
feeding
them."
"Well
that's
Miko!
She's
not
called
the
Dragon
Lady for
nothing!"
Rodney
protested.
"Plenty
of other
tops do
it too,"
John
said,
waving
his hand
around
the
room.
In fact,
there
weren't
any
kneeling
subs
currently
in the
room. It
wasn't
unusual
for a
top to
require
their
submissive
to kneel
while
being
fed, but
it
wasn't
all that
commonplace,
either.
Nobody
would
raise an
eyebrow
though –
it was
perfectly
acceptable
behaviour.
"Now, I
want you
to go
and get
the
food,
bring it
back
here,
put it
in front
of me,
and then
kneel
down
beside
me – and
all
without
talking.
You're
in deep
submission
and
forbidden
to talk
to
anyone
except
me
during
this
meal.
Understood?"
Rodney
just
stood
there,
glaring
at him.
Nobody
would
usually
address
a sub
kneeling
in deep
submission
unless
given
permission
by their
top, but
John
obviously
wanted
Rodney
to be
very
sure
about
the
rules.
He knew
there
was no
real
point in
arguing
about it
– John
had made
it very
clear
what
today
was all
about,
and
Rodney
knew
that the
sooner
he gave
in and
did what
he was
told,
the
easier
it'd be.
But he
was
Rodney
McKay,
and he
didn't
always
take the
easy
route.
"You're
enjoying
this far
too much
you
know,"
he
growled
at his
top.
"And
you'd
enjoy it
far more
than you
think if
you'd
just
stop
fighting
it,"
John
replied.
Rodney
was
going to
argue
about
that but
he
suspected
John had
a point
so he
just
turned
on his
heel and
went to
get the
food. He
hoped
and
prayed
that it
would be
a quiet
day in
the mess
hall,
with as
few
people
to
witness
his deep
submission
as
possible,
but it
was not
to be.
By the
time he
brought
the big
plate of
food
back to
his top
the room
was
heaving
with
people.
Rodney
took a
deep
breath,
and
decided
to do as
John had
advised,
and stop
fighting
it. He
put the
plate
down in
front of
his top,
and then
knelt
down
beside
him
without
saying a
word.
John put
a hand
on
Rodney's
shoulders
and
stroked
softly,
and
Rodney
quivered,
his
muscles
relaxing
as the
caress
eased
some of
the
tension
he
always
carried
in his
shoulders
and
neck.
"My
beautiful
sub,"
John
murmured,
and
Rodney
looked
up,
startled
by the
praise.
John
smiled
at him,
and
pressed
a
forkful
of food
to his
lips.
Rodney
took it
and
chewed
slowly,
gazing
into
space.
Teyla
and Ford
joined
them.
Teyla
spared
him only
a fond
glance
before
turning
to talk
to John.
Rodney
braced
himself
for
Ford's
response
but was
surprised
to see a
look of
envy in
the
lieutenant's
eyes,
followed
by a
flash of
longing
as he
cast a
sideways
glance
at Teyla.
Rodney
realised
how much
Ford
would
love to
be
kneeling
by her
side
right
now,
being
hand
fed, and
he
relaxed
even
more.
John was
right.
When he
stopped
fighting
it he
felt so
much
happier.
Nobody
placed
him in a
difficult
position
by
speaking
to him,
and it
actually
felt
relaxing
not to
be
trying
to eat
and talk
at the
same
time
which
was his
normal
mealtime
pattern.
In fact,
it was
relaxing
not to
talk at
all.
Usually
he
talked
more
than
anyone
else,
and it
felt
like a
respite
to be
ordered
not to.
He found
himself
leaning
against
John's
knee,
and
nuzzling
at
John's
hand
when it
came
down to
stroke
his hair
and the
side of
his
face,
which it
often
did. He
was so
lost in
the
moment
he
barely
registered
anyone's
reactions
to him,
but when
he
looked
up to
take
another
mouthful
of food,
he
caught
the
slightly
stunned
expression
on
Ford's
face.
Clearly
nobody
expected
even a
top as
strong
and
experienced
as
Colonel
Sheppard
to be
able to
publicly
keep a
sub as
outspoken
and
difficult
as
himself
in a
state of
deep
submission.
For the
first
time,
Rodney
realised
that
he’d
been
given a
gift. It
was just
one day,
but John
was
giving
him a
chance
to let
go, and
de-stress.
He could
spend an
entire
day in
the
submissive
headspace
and just
enjoy
the
experience,
without
worrying
about
anything
else.
Carson
arrived
a few
minutes
later,
and
Rodney
thought
he
should
probably
be
embarrassed
that
Carson,
of all
people,
was
witnessing
his
submission
but he
wasn’t.
And
Carson
just
rocked
back on
his
heels,
and
smiled
at him
fondly.
"Ah,
that's a
sight
for sore
eyes,"
he said,
sitting
down at
the
table
beside
John.
"It's
lovely
seeing
him so
happy,"
he said
to John.
Rodney
barely
noticed
the
comment.
He was
lost in
a little
world of
his own,
and it
was an
extremely
nice
place to
be. He
was
actually
sorry
when the
meal was
over –
it had
been a
new
experience,
and
while he
didn't
want to
eat
every
meal
this
way,
there
was
something
very
relaxing
about
being
given
permission
to opt
out from
all
social
interaction
and just
listen.
He found
he had
become
much
more
attuned
to
John's
movements,
noticing
every
rise and
fall of
John's
hand as
he fed
them
both,
eagerly
anticipating
every
stroke
and
caress
his top
bestowed
upon
him, and
acutely
aware of
the
warmth
of
John's
thigh
against
his arm.
When
they
finished
the
meal,
John
reached
down,
took
hold of
Rodney's
face
between
his
hands,
and
kissed
him
softly
and
tenderly
on the
lips.
"Thank
you,
Rodney,"
he said
quietly.
Rodney
felt his
entire
body
tingle
from the
pleasure
of being
praised
by his
top, and
he
pressed
his lips
to
John's
leather
clad
knee and
kissed
him
there.
Now he
understood
why
Katie
liked
kissing
Miko's
shiny
PVC
boots so
much.
There
was
something
very
erotic
about
kissing
John's
leather
pants –
the
smell
was
intoxicating
for a
start,
and the
fabric
felt so
cool and
soft
beneath
his
mouth.
John
stroked
his
hair,
and then
he took
Rodney's
hand and
guided
him up,
and they
left the
mess
hall
together,
John's
hand
resting
on
Rodney's
ass as
they
walked.
The
afternoon
passed
in a
similar
haze.
Rodney
went to
John
without
demur
when he
needed
to pee,
and was
equally
happy to
visit
his top
on
request
and take
John in
his
mouth
again.
His body
was
starting
to
unwind,
and he
felt
looser,
and more
relaxed.
He had
no
qualms
about
John
holding
his
penis
when he
used the
bathroom,
and he
loved it
when
John
made him
kneel in
front of
him and
open his
mouth to
accept
his
top's
hard
cock. He
liked
having
his
mouth
fucked,
liked
not
being
asked to
do
anything
except
offer
his
obedience
and
willing
body, to
allow
John to
do as he
wished
with
him.
It was
oddly
liberating
– Rodney
didn't
know
why, but
it was
so good
to just
surrender,
without
question.
He lived
so much
in his
head
that it
felt
good to
not have
any
choices
– to
give his
entire
self to
John.
By the
time he
returned
to
John's
quarters,
as
instructed,
later
that
evening,
he was
even
enjoying
the
intrusive
presence
of the
butt
plug in
his
anus. It
was
evidence
that he
was
John's,
and he
loved
the
thrill
that
knowledge
gave
him. He
also
loved
knowing
that he
was
holding
a part
of John
inside
him, and
that
John’s
come was
still
trapped,
deep
within
his
body.
John was
waiting
for him
in his
quarters
when he
arrived
at seven
p.m. and
Rodney
went
straight
over to
the
table
and
knelt
beside
his top,
without
saying a
word. He
spread
his
knees,
lowered
his
head,
and just
knelt
there,
totally
submissive.
John
didn’t
say a
word for
several
minutes,
but
Rodney
didn’t
look up.
When
John
wanted
to speak
to him
he
would.
All
Rodney
had to
do was
wait,
and obey
his
top’s
will.
"Very
good,"
John
purred
at last,
and his
fingers
swept
the side
of
Rodney's
face
affectionately.
"Now,
we're
going to
go one
step
further.
I think
you're
ready
for it."
Rodney
looked
up,
gazing
at John
happily.
He
trusted
his top,
and if
John
wanted
to take
him a
step
further
then he
was
happy to
take it.
John
picked
up a
strip of
black
fabric
from the
table.
"Close
your
eyes,"
he
ordered.
Rodney
did as
he was
told,
and John
wrapped
the
blindfold
around
his face
and tied
it at
the
back.
"Comfortable?"
John
asked.
"Yes,"
Rodney
nodded.
"See
anything?"
"No."
Rodney
shook
his
head. He
didn't
wonder
what was
coming
next –
he was
so lost
in his
own
subspace
that he
had
surrendered
all
control.
John was
in
charge,
and John
would do
whatever
he
wanted,
and
Rodney
was
totally
fine
with
that.
"I'm
going to
feed you
– I
brought
some
dinner
from the
mess
hall,"
John
said.
Rodney
nodded,
memories
of the
tranquillity
of lunch
still
fresh in
his
mind. He
opened
his
mouth
obediently
whenever
John
touched
the fork
to his
lips,
and took
whatever
John
placed
on his
tongue.
At first
it felt
strange,
and it
wasn't
easy for
him to
identify
what he
was
being
fed.
Then he
stopped
trying –
he just
chewed,
savouring
each
bite,
and then
swallowed.
It was
remarkable
how much
more he
tasted
his food
being
fed this
way. He
didn't
always
know
what he
was
eating,
but he
learned
to
appreciate
textures
and
flavours
so much
more
intensely
by not
being
able to
see his
food.
He
didn't
like
everything
John put
in his
mouth
but he
didn't
spit
anything
out. If
John
wanted
him to
eat it
then he
would,
whether
he liked
it or
not.
John
knew
exactly
the
kinds of
foods he
liked
and
disliked,
so if he
was
giving
Rodney
something
he
didn’t
like
then it
was on
purpose
and
Rodney
had no
choice
in the
matter.
He was
surrendering
to his
top's
will,
and he
felt
completely
serene,
and
nothing,
certainly
not a
mouthful
of food,
was
going to
jolt him
out of
that
headspace.
When
they'd
finished
eating,
John
helped
him to
his feet
and then
undressed
him. He
went
slowly,
and
Rodney
was
fully
erect by
the time
he was
done. He
hadn't
been
allowed
to come
all day,
despite
the many
erotic
things
John had
done to
him, and
he knew
that he
might
not be
allowed
to come
all
night,
either.
It
didn't
matter.
He
belonged
to John.
His body
was
John's,
to feed,
and play
with, to
dress
and
undress
and
command
as he
wanted,
and
Rodney
was very
happy to
offer
himself
up to
him. If
John
didn't
want him
to come
then
that was
fine by
him.
John
took his
hand and
ordered
him to
bend
over.
"The
table's
in front
of you.
Hold
it,"
John
told
him,
guiding
him into
place.
Rodney
obeyed,
and he
felt
John
take
hold of
the butt
plug,
and then
it was
being
gently
removed.
His anus
ached as
John
pulled
it out,
and
Rodney
gave a
little
gasp,
but he
didn't
move.
"Good
boy. You
wore
this all
day –
I'm
proud of
you,"
John
said,
stroking
Rodney's
back
affectionately.
He
helped
him to
stand
up, and
Rodney
felt
John’s
come
from
that
morning
starting
to seep
out.
That
made his
stomach
do a
little
flip of
pleasure.
He loved
knowing
that
he’d had
that
part of
John
inside
his body
for the
entire
day.
John
took his
hand and
led him
towards
the
bathroom,
and
Rodney
walked
with
him,
confidently,
sure
that
John
would
guide
him
safely.
John let
go of
his hand
and told
him to
stand
there,
and
Rodney
stood
still,
waiting
for his
next
order.
He heard
the
sound of
rustling
but he
didn't
even try
and
guess
what was
happening.
He was
John's.
He
belonged
to John.
He had
been
told to
stand
here and
that was
what he
would
do.
He felt
John's
hand on
his
cock,
and then
a little
snap as
the cock
ring was
removed.
He
sighed
in
relief,
grateful
not to
have it
digging
into his
erect
flesh
any
more.
"The
rules
haven't
changed.
You
still
can't
touch
your
cock or
your
ass,"
John
told
him, in
low,
soothing,
firm
tones.
Rodney
nodded
serenely,
perfectly
happy
with
that.
John
took his
hand
again,
and
guided
him over
to the
tub.
Rodney
could
feel by
the
warmth
in the
room
that his
top had
drawn a
bath. He
heard
John
step
into the
tub, and
then
John
helped
him into
the warm
water
too. The
heat of
the
water
caressing
his skin
felt
strange
when he
couldn't
see what
he was
stepping
into,
but he
trusted
John and
his top
guided
him
safely
into the
tub.
He heard
the
sound of
splashing
water as
John sat
down,
and then
Rodney
was
directed
down
between
John’s
legs.
Rodney
sat in
the warm
water
with a
sigh,
and John
pulled
him back
so that
he was
resting
against
his
top's
body,
his
shoulders
pressed
against
John's
chest,
John's
mouth
nuzzling
at the
side of
his
face,
his arms
wrapped
around
Rodney's
body.
"This is
good.
This is
so
good,"
John
murmured
into
Rodney's
ear, and
his
fingers
trailed
sensuously
over one
of
Rodney's
nipples,
making
him sigh
and lean
back
against
his top
even
more. He
felt as
if his
entire
body was
starting
to
unravel
and
unwind,
his
shoulders
loosening
as he
melted
back
into his
top's
body.
"That's
it…just
let go,"
John
whispered,
his
fingers
soothing
gentle
patterns
onto
Rodney's
skin.
The
blindfold
heightened
Rodney's
awareness
of his
top's
touch,
just as
being
ordered
not to
speak at
lunch
earlier
in the
day had
made him
acutely
aware of
John's
every
movement
and
gesture.
They
relaxed
for a
long
time,
and
Rodney
felt as
if he
was
floating
away and
John was
his
anchor,
the only
thing
keeping
him
tethered
to any
kind of
reality.
The
water
was so
warm and
soothing,
and
John's
body was
equally
comforting,
his legs
and arms
encircling
Rodney
as he
lay back
against
John's
chest in
the warm
water.
When the
water
started
to cool,
John
began
washing
him. He
rubbed
soap all
over his
body,
moving
Rodney
this way
and that
to get
better
access
to
various
parts of
his
body,
bestowing
little
kisses
on
Rodney's
damp
shoulders
and neck
while he
worked.
He took
his time
washing
Rodney's
cock and
balls,
rolling
them
between
his
soapy
fingers
and
making
Rodney
harden
once
more.
"I like
how
you're
so
responsive
to my
touch,"
John
whispered.
Rodney
barely
even
registered
the
comment.
He was
John's –
of
course
his body
responded
when
John
touched
him.
That was
just the
way it
should
be.
He knelt
forward
at
John's
order,
and felt
John's
soapy
fingers
deftly
slide
into his
anus,
cleaning
him
there,
before
washing
him out
with
water. A
little
part of
Rodney
was sad
that he
no
longer
had
John’s
come
inside
his
body,
but it
felt so
warm and
good to
just
allow
his top
to do
what he
wanted.
Rodney
rested
his chin
on the
edge of
the tub
and
relaxed
even
more. He
felt so
serene,
so damn
good. He
didn't
think
his body
had ever
felt
this
relaxed.
John
helped
him out
of the
bath,
and then
dried
him,
before
leading
him back
into the
bedroom.
He
guided
Rodney
onto the
bed,
lying
him face
down,
and then
Rodney
felt the
mattress
move as
his top
straddled
him.
He
smelled
scented
oil, and
then
felt
John's
fingers
on his
back,
massaging
the oil
into his
shoulders
with
firm
strokes
from his
strong
hands.
Whatever
knots
were
left in
Rodney's
back
soon
dissipated
as John
kneaded
them
into
submission.
He took
his
time,
and he
seemed
to know
exactly
what he
was
doing,
his long
fingers
unerringly
finding
any sore
spots
and
rubbing
them
away.
Rodney
started
to hum
again,
unaware
that he
was even
doing
it, and
time
became a
haze of
John's
fingers
on his
body,
his own
humming
a
contented
backdrop
to the
delicious
massage.
He felt
John
move
further
down,
and then
the
oiled
fingers
were
sliding
into the
cavity
between
his butt
cheeks.
He
relaxed
even
more,
opening
up his
legs
wide,
his anus
loose,
ready
and
waiting
for his
top's
attention.
John
slicked
it open
even
further
with his
fingers,
until it
was wide
and
welcoming,
and
Rodney
raised
his ass
with
each
inward
caress,
wanting
to take
his
top's
fingers
into
him, and
please
his top
any way
he
could.
Then the
fingers
withdrew,
and he
felt
John
settle
down on
top of
him, his
weight
warm and
loving.
Rodney
sighed
into the
pillow
as
John's
hands
landed
on top
of his
own.
John
slid his
fingers
between
Rodney's,
entwining
their
hands,
and then
lifted
his
hips.
Rodney
felt
John's
hard
cock
slide
into his
oiled,
open
anus and
come to
rest
deep
within.
The
entry
had been
the
smoothest
Rodney
had ever
experienced,
like two
parts of
a well
oiled
machine
coming
together
the way
they had
been
designed
to.
John lay
there,
fully
inserted
in
Rodney's
body.
Rodney
was so
still,
so
serene
and so
attuned
to John
right
now that
he could
feel the
throbbing
of his
lover's
cock
inside
his
anus,
and his
own
heart
seemed
to
adjust
to keep
the same
time. He
felt as
if he
and John
had
melded
together
and were
now the
same
person,
living,
breathing
and
moving
as one.
John
kissed
the back
of his
neck,
his
fingers
still
entwined
in
Rodney's,
and then
he
shifted
his hips
just a
fraction,
sliding
out and
back in
with a
smooth,
gentle
thrust.
It felt
exquisite.
It
wasn't
the
hurried
frenzy
of more
urgent
couplings,
but the
long,
slow,
culmination
of
something
much
more
meaningful.
They had
made
love
with
their
hearts,
minds
and
bodies
many
times
before,
Rodney
thought,
in that
hazy
headspace
he was
currently
inhabiting,
but
this…this
was like
making
love
with
their
souls.
He had,
quite
simply,
never
experienced
anything
like it.
John
moved
his hips
again,
oh so
slowly,
and then
slid
back
once
more,
deep
into
Rodney's
body. It
was
almost
non-sexual,
if the
act of
making
love
could
ever
been
called
that. It
went
beyond
sex
though,
for
Rodney.
It was
the
ultimate
merging
of sub
and top,
lovers
moving
as one,
completely
in step
with
each
other.
"Mating
dance,"
John
whispered,
as if
reading
his
mind.
"That's
what
Teyla
calls
it. I
can see
it now."
It *was*
kind of
like a
dance –
a slow,
intense,
exquisitely
choreographed
dance,
both
dancers
knowing
their
steps
perfectly.
Rodney
allowed
his top
to lead,
surrendering
his body
entirely
to
John's
control,
trusting
John to
keep the
beat.
They
kept
dancing
for what
felt
like
hours,
their
bodies
moving
as one,
the air
thick
with the
scent of
oil.
They
were
joined,
John's
cock
filling
his anus
perfectly,
belonging
there,
as if it
had been
designed
to fit
Rodney.
Everything
had a
dreamlike
quality
– all
Rodney
was
aware of
was a
beautiful,
endless
motion
and
their
two
bodies
rising
and
falling,
gently
and
slowly.
Nothing
seemed
real
except
for the
sensation
of
John’s
body
moving
against
his own.
Their
hands
were
joined,
John’s
on top
of his
own,
just as
John’s
body was
resting
on his,
and
John’s
flesh
was
joined
with
his, his
penis
moving
so
sensuously
inside
him.
Time
passed –
he had
no idea
how long
- and
then
John was
whispering
in his
ear.
"Come
for me.
Come
now,"
and
Rodney
did.
Without
hesitation,
without
needing
to touch
himself.
He just
came on
command,
completely
obedient
to his
top's
orders
right to
the end.
John was
coming
too, not
in a
wild,
urgent
climax,
but slow
and
deep.
Rodney
was glad
to once
again
have
John’s
come
inside
his
body,
where it
had been
all day,
where it
belonged.
John lay
on top
of him
for
awhile,
still
inside
him,
their
hands
still
entwined,
his head
resting
on
Rodney’s
back.
More
time
passed,
and when
John
finally
slid out
of him
Rodney
gave a
little
whimper
of loss.
John
pulled
him onto
his side
and then
settled
down
behind
him,
wrapping
his arms
around
him the
way he
always
did
after
sex.
"I love
you,"
John
murmured
in his
ear.
"I love
you
too,"
Rodney
whispered
back. He
felt the
blindfold
being
removed
but he
didn't
open his
eyes. He
didn't
want to
be
jolted
out of
the
delicious
place in
his head
where
everything
felt so
peaceful.
"Feels
so good.
Want to
stay
here a
bit
longer,"
he
sighed.
John
kissed
the back
of his
neck.
"That's
fine.
Stay
there.
I'm with
you."
Rodney
kissed
John's
arm
where it
was
wrapped
around
his
neck,
and then
he just
rested
there,
nestled
against
his top.
He could
feel
that
energy
flow,
the
beginnings
of the
lifebond
or
whatever
it was,
running
sweetly
between
them,
stronger
than
ever. He
vaguely
recalled
Carson
telling
them
that it
wasn't
possible
to
cement a
lifebond
by
accident,
without
meaning
to, but
whatever
it was
that
they had
was
already
pretty
strong.
How much
stronger
would a
proper
lifebond
feel, he
wondered?
"Can you
feel
it?" he
whispered
to John.
"Yeah.
It's
always
like
that
after
sex,"
John
replied.
"Sometimes…sometimes
I can
feel it
at other
times.
When
we're
not
having
sex,"
Rodney
said.
"Just…a
hint of
it."
"Does it
scare
you?"
John
asked.
"A bit.
You?"
"Yeah."
Rodney
felt
John's
muscles
tighten
involuntarily
and he
got the
strangest
sensation
of
sadness
– only
he
wasn't
feeling
it
himself
– it
seemed
to be
pulsing
with the
energy
flow
between
them.
He
turned
in
John's
arms and
opened
his
eyes,
gazing
at his
top
sharply.
The
sudden
input of
visual
stimulation
seemed
to short
circuit
whatever
he'd
sensed –
or maybe
he'd
stopped
being so
attuned
to his
top as
his own
senses
reasserted
themselves,
but he
knew
what
he'd
felt.
"Your
parents,"
he said
softly,
taking
John's
face
between
his
hands.
"You
told me
they
were
lifebonded,
and
that's
why they
both
died
together,
but you
never
told me
*this*."
He
placed
his hand
on
John's
chest,
frowning.
He'd
never
been a
particularly
sensitive
person –
he
wasn't
good at
reading
social
signals,
or
people's
expressions,
but this
– this
was
different.
This was
John,
and he
had
never
been as
close to
anyone
as he
was to
this
man.
He
closed
his eyes
again,
concentrating
on the
energy
flow
once
more,
trying
to block
out
everything
but the
beat of
John's
heart
under
his
fingertips.
He zoned
back
into
that
hazy,
peaceful
subspace
almost
immediately,
and
there it
was. A
savage
grief,
walled
up
behind
strong
defences,
hidden
behind a
mask of
easy-going
charm
that
fooled
almost
everyone.
He had a
sudden
sense of
John, a
young
man,
still at
college,
reeling
from the
double
tragedy
that
robbed
him of
his
parents,
and
struggling
to find
a way of
dealing
with the
pain.
There
were
years
and
years of
keeping
people
at bay,
avoiding
any more
heartache,
but
through
it all
was that
constant,
aching
sense of
loss.
Rodney
thought
of his
own
parents,
killed
in a car
crash
when he
was
eighteen.
He
hadn't
had the
connection
to them
that
John had
had with
his
parents
though.
The only
one he
really
cared
about
was
Jeannie
– and
when he
thought
about
*her*,
his
heart
did a
little
flip.
"I felt
that,"
John
said.
"What
was
that?
Not your
parents?"
Rodney
opened
his eyes
again,
still
stunned
by what
this
link
between
them was
revealing.
"No.
Jeannie.
I was
thinking
about
Jeannie."
"I
didn't
know you
cared
about
her so
much."
"She was
my kid
sister.
I always
looked
out for
her. I
remember
when my
mom
brought
her home
from the
hospital
– she
was such
a little
thing,
with a
mop of
blonde
hair. I
fell in
love
with her
the
minute I
saw that
scrunched
up, red
face. Of
course I
kind of
hated
her too
– but
that was
how our
family
worked."
They
were
silent
for
awhile,
just
gazing
at each
other.
"What
happened
tonight?"
Rodney
asked
finally.
"I don't
know,
but it
was
fantastic,"
John
replied.
"You
were
fantastic."
"It felt
so
amazing.
I know I
struggled
with it
throughout
the day
but by
the time
I got
back
here I
was in
that
peaceful
place in
my head,
and it
just
felt so
good."
"I could
feel how
easy it
was for
you once
you got
there.
Everything
just
flowed,"
John
murmured.
They
leaned
forward
at the
same
time and
kissed
each
other, a
slow,
mellow
kiss.
"I had
no idea
anything
like
this
existed,"
Rodney
said
afterwards.
"I
just…I
used to
think
the
magazines
and
books
made up
all that
romantic
crap.
Sex was
always
good
enough
without
them
inventing
new,
unattainable
levels
to it
that
mere
mortals
couldn't
reach.
And then
you came
along
and
*this*
happens
and...."
"I'm
with you
on how
crazy it
is."
John
shook
his
head. "I
had no
idea
about
any of
this,
either."
"The
lifebond
thing
freaks
you out
though."
"Yeah.
Kind of.
I hated
how it
robbed
me of
both my
parents,"
John
replied.
His
hazel
eyes
were
oddly
revealing
–
usually
John's
eyes
gave
nothing
away.
Now
though,
Rodney
caught a
glimpse
of a
whole
lifetime
of
sadness.
"We
don't
have to
talk
about it
again,"
Rodney
said
soothingly.
"It's
fine."
"One day
I
suspect
we're
going to
have to
talk
about
it.”
"We're
both
total
commitment-phobes,
Rodney
sighed.
"You
with
your
lifebond
freakout
and me
with my
moving-in-together
freakout."
"Yeah,"
John
grinned.
"It's
astonishing
we're
together.
I have
no idea
how that
happened.
The
universe
must
have a
sense of
humour."
"Yeah."
John
looked
like
some
kind of
wounded
animal –
the
expression
in his
eyes was
so naked
that
Rodney
wondered
why he'd
never
seen it
before.
He
doubted
he'd
ever be
fooled
by the
John
Sheppard
mask
again.
Rodney
took
hold of
John's
head
between
his
hands
again
and
kissed
him
hard,
trying
to chase
away the
lurking
demons.
When
he'd
finished
kissing
him,
Rodney
pulled
John
close,
and held
him
tight.
They
belonged
together,
each
protective
of the
other, a
partnership
of
equals,
and he
was glad
that
John
Sheppard
had
finally
allowed
him to
see into
his
soul.
They
dozed,
on and
off,
throughout
the
night,
but
every
time
that
Rodney
woke he
immediately
felt the
energy
flowing
softly,
sweetly
between
them. He
wondered
whether
he'd
always
feel it
from now
on, like
background
noise,
always
there,
just out
of
sight.
When
they got
up the
next day
he
couldn't
believe
how good
he felt.
His
entire
body
felt
loose
and
relaxed
– and
his
shoulders
hadn't
been so
free of
tension
since
he'd
been a
kid.
John
seemed
to feel
just as
good,
and
Rodney
found
that
while he
wasn't
as
attuned
to his
top as
he had
been the
previous
night,
some of
that
sense of
the two
of them
melding
into one
person
remained.
When
they
went
offworld
a few
days
later,
Rodney
had a
newfound
confidence
in
himself.
He and
John
walked
in step
as they
went
through
the
gate,
and
Rodney
was
aware of
every
move
John
made. He
followed
his top,
stopped
when
John
did, and
obeyed
every
order
almost
before
John
gave it.
They
walked
for a
couple
of miles
towards
the
Wraith
base of
operations
that
John
wanted
to check
out.
They
went
slowly,
aware
that
they
could
run into
the
Wraith
at any
time.
Rodney
felt
more at
ease
than
he'd
ever
felt on
missions,
sure of
himself
in a way
that he
had
never
been
before.
It
helped
to feel
John's
hand
occasionally
on his
elbow,
guiding
him, or
the
little
press of
his
thigh
against
Rodney's
as they
walked.
That
gave him
a sort
of inner
sense of
calm.
Rodney
noticed
Teyla
glancing
at them
occasionally,
an
intrigued
look on
her
face,
and when
they
stopped
to take
some
readings
she came
to stand
beside
him.
"You
have
achieved
synergy,"
she told
him. He
raised
an
eyebrow.
"When
two
people
move as
one
during
the
mating
dance?
You have
experienced
that. I
am
surprised
– I was
not sure
it was
something
you
would
ever be
able to
attain.
He is so
closed
off, and
you are
so
restless
and
volatile.
I did
not ever
think
you
would be
able to
overcome
those
characteristics
and
truly
merge.
You must
have a
very
unusual
degree
of
compatibility."
"I
really
have no
idea
what
most of
that
means,"
he told
her,
slightly
miffed
at being
referred
to as
"volatile".
"It is a
good
thing."
She
bowed
her head
towards
him, in
a sign
of
respect
he had
seen her
give
only to
John and
Elizabeth
before.
"I am
sorry,
Dr
McKay. I
misjudged
you –
not for
the
first
time,
either.
I have
made the
mistake
I always
advise
others
against
– I
allowed
myself
to be
swayed
by what
you say,
and not
what you
do."
"Thank
you. I
think,"
Rodney
frowned,
unsure
if that
was an
insult
or not.
"You
must
have
great
depths
and
compassion,
to have
drawn
him
out,"
she
said. "I
did not
doubt
your
love
before,
but I
did
think it
was more
a matter
of
sexual
compatibility
rather
than an
emotional,
spiritual
or
mental
connection.
I was
wrong.
You are
worthy
of him."
She
bowed
again
and then
moved
away,
scanning
the
trees
for
evidence
of the
Wraith.
Rodney
stared
after
her,
feeling
perplexed.
He had
no idea
that any
of what
happened
between
him and
his top
in
private
was
evident
to
anyone
else,
and it
was
unsettling.
On the
other
hand,
Teyla
was
often
coming
out with
weird
observations,
and he
doubted
anyone
else
would
have
noticed
anything
different
about
how he
and John
were
interacting.
They
found
the
Wraith
base –
or
rather
they
found
where it
had
been. In
its
place
was a
massive
crater.
They
barely
had time
to
register
that
when
Teyla
saw
several
burly,
faceless
wraith
warriors
coming
towards
them.
The
first
shots
rang out
almost
simultaneously.
"Run!"
John
ordered
the
team,
pushing
Rodney
away,
back
towards
the
puddle
jumper.
"Go tell
Markham
to get
ready
for take
off.
I'll
cover
you!"
Rodney
hesitated,
turning
back.
"What
about
you?" he
asked.
"I'll be
there in
a
minute.
Go!"
John
said.
Rodney
nodded,
and shot
his
lover a
glance
before
starting
to run.
He
trusted
John to
get them
out of
this
situation,
but a
part of
him
hated
leaving
him
behind.
He knew
John
would
tan his
ass if
he
disobeyed
and
insisted
on
staying,
and he
also
knew
that it
was one
less
thing
for John
to worry
about if
Rodney
did as
he was
told,
but it
was
still
hard to
run off
and
leave
John
there.
He ran
as fast
as he
could,
aware of
Teyla at
his
side,
firing
behind
them as
she
went. He
guessed
she was
under
orders
to
protect
him, as
the
weakest
member
of the
team,
when
they
were in
situations
like
this.
They
made it
back to
the
jumper
and
Rodney
threw
himself
through
the
door.
His neck
was
hurting
like
crazy
and he
had no
idea
why. He
put up a
hand to
touch
it,
wondering
if he'd
taken a
hit, but
there
was no
blood
there.
"Markham
–
Colonel
Sheppard
said to
get
ready
for take
off," he
yelled.
Markham's
eyes
widened,
and he
slammed
his
hands
onto the
console.
The
engines
hummed
into
life and
Rodney
turned,
hoping
to see
John
right
behind
him. His
heart
sank
when
nobody
appeared.
"Where's
John? Is
Ford
with
him?" he
asked
Teyla,
fighting
down a
rising
sense of
panic.
His neck
hurt so
much now
that he
could
hardly
think
straight.
"I do
not
know,"
she
replied
grimly.
"They
were
right
behind
us!"
Rodney
gabbled.
"I
don't…oh
shit!"
He
doubled
up in
pain as
something
stabbed
into his
neck,
hard.
"Dr
McKay?
Are you
injured?"
She bent
over him
but he
waved
her
away.
"John?"
he
gasped.
She hit
her
radio
immediately.
"Lieutenant
Ford?"
Rodney
heard
Ford's
strangled
reply,
followed
by a
burst of
static.
"Lieutenant
– where
are you?
Is
Colonel
Sheppard
with
you? Is
he
okay?"
Teyla
asked,
frowning
at
Rodney
anxiously.
"I've
got
him…he's…there's….Look,
I'm
helping
him back
to the
jumper.
We'll be
there in
a few
minutes.
Just be
ready to
go.
We've
got
wraith
on our
tail,"
Ford
yelled.
Rodney
drew his
gun and
ran to
the door
of the
puddle
jumper,
his legs
trembling
and his
neck
still
aching,
to find
his way
blocked
by Teyla.
"I will
go," she
told
him.
"You
will
stay
here."
He
considered
arguing
with her
but at
that
moment
he saw
them,
over her
shoulder.
John had
one arm
slung
around
Ford,
and Ford
was
half-dragging,
half-carrying
him.
Rodney's
heart
did a
flip –
unsure
whether
to be
pleased
John was
still
alive,
or
worried
about
why he
was
unable
to walk
by
himself.
"What
the hell
happened?"
he
demanded
of
nobody
in
particular.
"Is he
hurt?
Why is
Ford
carrying
him?
Damnit I
should
never
have
left him
behind."
Ford
staggered
into the
puddle
jumper
and
deposited
John on
the
floor.
Teyla
slammed
her hand
on the
door
panel to
close it
and then
turned
to
Markham.
"Go!
Now!"
she
ordered.
Rodney
barely
heard
her. He
flung
himself
down
beside
John and
then
stopped
short,
horrified.
There
was a
huge,
two foot
long
insect
clamped
to the
side of
John's
neck,
its
sharp,
spiny
forelegs
sunk
deep
into
John's
flesh,
which
was
smeared
with
blood.
Rodney
rubbed
the side
of his
own neck
absently,
dimly
aware of
why it
was
hurting
so much,
but too
freaked
out
about
John's
condition
to freak
out
about
how he
was
experiencing
it to
some
extent
too.
"John?"
He
grabbed
the side
of his
top's
face to
find two
pain-filled
hazel
eyes
gazing
wearily
back at
him.
"I'm
fine,"
John
muttered.
"Oh stop
being
such a
damn
hero.
You're
patently
not
fine,"
Rodney
bristled.
The
puddle
jumper
took
off,
juddering
violently
as it
swung
upwards.
"We're
taking
fire!
Let's
get some
altitude!"
John
barked.
"I'm
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