Coming Home
By Xanthe
Part Nine: The List
 

John spent the following afternoon preparing for his date with Rodney. He wanted the night to be special, and he gave it a good deal of thought. He fished out his box of toys, and sifted through them, pondering how he wanted to play the evening.

He had some soft leather cuffs, which he placed on the nightstand, and there was a flogger made of knotted fur that could stroke a sub to ecstasy within minutes. He let his fingers rest on two cock rings - one metallic, and one leather, and then there were a variety of little clamps and clips.

He had a strap and a couple of paddles, and a very nice cock and ball restraint. There was a leg separator, a butt plug, a ball gag…John grinned at that last item. He wondered how someone as vocal as Rodney would react to being denied his voice, and decided that at some point he wanted to find out, but not tonight. Tonight he *wanted* to hear Rodney. He wanted to hear him pant, and moan, and beg, and sigh, and purr with pleasure.

John ignored the curled up whip, and a long, thin cane. Those weren't implements for a first date - he was very proficient with the whip, having taught himself how to wield it to excellent effect when he'd dated a young lieutenant a few years back who found the idea of being whipped in the open air, tied to a tree, unbelievably arousing. John had got off on his sub's evident pleasure, and he liked being an expert with the whip, and especially liked the technical aspects of whip play and the responses it coaxed from even the most closed off sub.

John pondered the paddle instead, wondering how Rodney's ass would feel, hotly spanked, beneath his fingers. Then there were the nipple clamps - he had two sets - one set mildly pinching, for little more than effect, and the other set meaning business.

There was a butt plug, completely new, still in its wrapping - John wondered what it would be like to open Rodney's teasing pink asshole with the tip of the plug, to press it home with his fingers and make Rodney keep it there, perhaps for hours.

Then there was bondage. Rodney would look good tied to his bed, face down, his legs spread wide, his head angled to one side, gazing up at John with pleading eyes….

All these ideas excited him, but they felt wrong. John wasn't sure why - he'd never been shy about getting out his box of toys before, not even on a first date, but not this time. This time was different. This time was special. John decided not to make any plans. He put the box on the nightstand and resolved to play it by ear.

John got dressed in a pair of tight black leather pants and a black shirt, complete with his usual wristbands and thunderbolt earring, and then sat back and waited for Rodney to arrive.

This time Rodney wasn't late. There was a knock on the door at precisely six p.m. and John crossed the room to open it, his heart doing a little flip in his chest as he went.

Rodney was standing outside looking just as nervous as John felt - and completely edible too. He was wearing a pair of soft black chinos that clung to his ass spectacularly, and a loose vivid-blue silk shirt that made his eyes shine an intense shade of blue to match it. John took one look at him, grabbed him by the arm, pulled him into the room, pushed him up against the wall, and kissed him. Rodney hung there, loose and boneless under John's hands, surrendering utterly and completely to the hungry kiss.

"God I've missed you," John told him when he finally allowed Rodney to come up for air.

"Really? Well, that's…good. And surprising. But good too. Definitely good," Rodney babbled and John grinned, glad that he wasn't the only one who was nervous.

"You look fantastic," John told him. "I meant to tell you that yesterday but I was too distracted by how hot you looked."

"Hot?" Rodney was clearly trying to look nonchalant but failing miserably. "Well, I mean, obviously I'm a very handsome man, but I'm not sure I've ever been called hot before."

"Oh you're hot," John grinned. "I thought I was going to have to fight off those botanists in the mess hall yesterday when they saw you."

"There were botanists in the mess hall yesterday?" Rodney looked surprised. "I only remember you, looking all cool with a mug of coffee."

John laughed at that - cool was the last thing he'd felt sitting in the mess hall yesterday morning, convinced Rodney wasn't going to show, but he decided not to tell Rodney that.

"What happened to your hair? I noticed you’d done something to it yesterday." John used that comment as an excuse to run his fingers through his sub's wavy locks. They were soft and silky under his touch.

"Oh that. I, uh, got Carson to lop a couple of inches off the ends - tidy it up," Rodney admitted, flushing slightly.

"You got Carson to do it?" John raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah - in the middle of the night." Rodney winced slightly. "I think I have to stop calling on Carson in the middle of the night. He's always so grumpy. Plus, he had Ford with him again. Those two are such a bad combination."

"Oh, I don't know. Ford is young and eager to please, and Carson likes to spoil his subs. I suspect they make a good couple," John said, surprised by the news all the same.

"They make a terrible couple," Rodney disagreed. "Carson needs someone older and more mature, someone he can talk to. Sleeping with Ford must be like having to permanently restrain an over-excited puppy."

John snorted at that, because Rodney kind of had a point.

"Anyway, they're not a couple," Rodney rambled on. "They're just playing. Ford has it bad for Teyla, and Carson's just lonely."

"Oh." John felt a pang of sympathy for Carson. The doctor had been such a good friend to him during his heartache over Rodney, and he'd never considered that Carson might be looking for a love affair of his own.

"So, something smells good. I wanted to bring something with me, like wine or something, but I don't have any, not that I drink much anyway – well, most of the time. Of course when I *do* get drunk it can be pretty spectacular. Chocolates would have worked, flowers seemed stupid, although I don't know, some tops like those kinds of things, but let's be honest I'm never gonna be one of those kinds of subs, and…."

"Rodney - shut up and walk over there," John interrupted him.

"Over here? Why?" Rodney did as he was told anyway, walking over to the table.

"No reason - I just wanted to check out your ass in those pants," John grinned at him.

"What's the fascination with my ass?" Rodney wrinkled up his forehead.

"You'd need to see it as I do," John grinned. "And probably be a top too, and think of all the fantastic things that can be done to an ass like that."

Rodney flushed from his neck all the way up to the roots of his hair. John liked how vulnerable it made him look, and he went over and ran his fingers gently over the back of Rodney's neck, stroking him like a cat. Rodney immediately relaxed beneath his touch, and leaned into him in a way that John was starting to find incredibly endearing.

He was unable to resist pulling Rodney in for another deep kiss and then, reluctantly, let go of him because otherwise they'd never get to eat, and he didn't want Rodney passing out on him through low blood sugar just when he'd got him naked.

John started serving up their meal while Rodney hopped nervously around his quarters, talking non-stop, very little of it in any way coherent.

"So, I sent an email to Radek about the…but Carson can actually cut hair, although he'd deny it…wow, real leather…but no, sunburnt a bit from yesterday…amazing the city is still standing really as he'd cut off all the power and I was out of contact being kissed on a beach and…oh…are these your folks?"

John turned to find Rodney looking at the photo he'd put on the nightstand. "Yeah," he nodded.

"You look like him - is he the biological?" Rodney asked, pointing at Adam. It was common for same gender couples to hook up with another couple of a different sex. They usually agreed to have two kids - one for each set of couples. How they went about it was up to them - sometimes all four parties would take part in the actual act, so they all felt included, and sometimes it was done by artificial insemination, depending on how the couples in question felt.

"Yeah." John smiled, liking the rapt expression on Rodney's face as he gazed at the photo.

"You were cute. Well, you still are," Rodney babbled and then he looked stricken, as if he'd said too much.

"I'm glad you think so, considering the plans I have for later," John grinned at him.

He couldn't resist going over and putting a hand on Rodney's shoulder to calm him down again. There was something so incredibly loveable about how clueless Rodney was - and John was amused by how easily panicked he was as well. He knew the scientist was socially dysfunctional but that didn't faze him at all - he just enjoyed the fact that he knew how to calm Rodney down with a look, or a judicious stroking - and he suspected he'd find some other methods that worked well too.

"What's this?" Rodney asked, picking up the box with the collar in it, and fumbling it between his big fingers.

"That's not for tonight," John said, smoothly intercepting the box and rescuing it from Rodney's sweaty palms. "But maybe one day," he said softly, putting the box back on the nightstand. "Now, you need to calm down, Rodney."

Rodney gazed at him, his blue eyes stricken. "I'm getting stuff wrong," he said. "I know that. Yesterday wasn't so bad because I was pretty sure I didn't like you and nothing was going to happen but then it did, and then you kept kissing me, and now I'm your sub and you want to *explore* me, and I wasn't expecting any of this so I'm totally freaked out and you're *hot* so I have no idea why you've picked me to be all deep and meaningful with when you could be shallow and have a whole harem of subs in your bed."

"Ssh," John said, running his thumb gently over Rodney's lower lip. "You're doing fine. You just need to relax. Come and eat - that should help."

"I do like to eat," Rodney agreed, looking happier.

"So, you came along to the beach yesterday even though you were pretty sure you didn't like me?" John grinned as they sat down at the table. Rodney looked confused.

"Is that a bad thing to admit? But you're military and I just assumed it would go wrong or be unpleasant because frankly, that would sum up my love life so far, but then it kept being good, and…nice, and the kissing was hot, and…before I knew it somehow I'd agreed to let you be my top, and I was totally not expecting that. Too much again?" He grabbed some bread and thrust it into his mouth, whole, and starting chewing. John frowned.

"No…well, maybe a little," he said. "And you could try slowing down a little - both with the eating and the talking."

"Slower. Right. Okay." Rodney said, around his mouthful.

John grinned at him. God he loved this man, and that was kind of surprising of and by itself, because he'd never have imagined his ideal partner would be a brilliant scientist completely lacking in social skills. Rodney grew calmer as they ate, and he was duly impressed by John's culinary skills, which was gratifying.

"God, this is fantastic! Better than that stuff they serve up in the mess hall, although actually I quite like a lot of that stuff. But this is *good*. How did you learn to cook?"

"My dad - Gil - insisted on it. He was big on self-sufficiency," John replied. "Also, it was something we could share. Adam hated cooking and he was such a big personality it was good to have some quiet time alone, just me and Gil, cooking, side by side. I was too small to reach the worktop as a kid so Gil built me a special stool so I could see what I was doing."

"Really? Wow. My parents lived on take out. I didn't even know there was any other kind of food for years," Rodney replied, finishing his meal and sitting back with a happy sigh.

They talked over coffee for a long time, and the conversation was easy and comfortable now that Rodney's verbal diarrhoea had dried up. They came to a natural pause, and gazed at each other over their empty coffee mugs, and John cleared his throat, feeling his cock shift inside his pants in eager anticipation of what would come next.

"Right," Rodney said, flushing again in response to the frankly sexual look that John was giving him. "Okay. It's that time now I think. Right. Um…I should talk about the stuff I did with my previous tops. Oh, and I brought my list." He fumbled around in his pocket, retrieved a folded piece of white paper, and slid it across the table at John.

"What's this?" John frowned, taking the piece of paper.

"My list," Rodney repeated blankly. "We're…we're negotiating now, right? Agreeing to what kind of stuff we like to do. It's that time of the evening isn't it?"

John gazed at him, feeling slightly winded. It was common practice for play partners to negotiate, but this wasn't a sex game as far as John was concerned - and he'd never, ever had a play partner who'd provided him with a *list* before. Although, thinking about it, it was kind of a Rodney thing to do.

He picked up the piece of paper and glanced at it. Rodney seemed to have made a neat spreadsheet of all the sexual practices he could think of and then graded them according to whether he'd do them or not, and how he liked them done if he *did* do them. John read through the list until he'd had enough, and then he looked up, and, very slowly, and very purposefully, screwed up the list and threw it into the waste basket.

"What?" Rodney protested. "Why did you do that? That's my list!"

"Rodney, I can't make love to you using a list," John told him, shaking his head.

"But…why not? It's safe sex!" Rodney replied.

"Rodney, I'm not taking you as a play partner," John explained. "I want to make love to you, not just fuck you."

"There's a difference?" Rodney frowned.

John threw his napkin on the table and got up angrily. "Yes there's a difference and you know that. You're just being obtuse!" he growled.

"I always negotiate," Rodney said, pushing out his chin obstinately. John felt his heart sink, knowing *that* sign all too well. "All the safe subs do that. Are you an unsafe top, John?"

"No I'm damn well not!" John exploded, furious. Rodney looked startled.

"Okay, because you're looking kind of unsafe right now," he muttered. John took a deep breath.

"I'm just upset. Look, Rodney, I thought I made it clear to you yesterday - you're my sub now, and we're not playing at this. This is the real deal. I told you that yesterday. I told you I wasn't playing."

"I don't understand," Rodney said helplessly.

"It's simple. I want you, Rodney; body, mind, heart and soul. I don't want any damn list."

"Supposing I don't like what you want to do to me," Rodney said suspiciously. "Because I've been there, done that, and it was really unpleasant."

"I'm asking you to trust me," John told him.

Rodney's eyes clouded over, troubled. "What about a safe word?" he asked. John shook his head and Rodney's eyes widened. "You ask me to trust you and you won't even give me a safe word?"

"You don't need a safe word because we aren't playing!" John said desperately, wondering how the hell he could explain this. "If you don't like something I do to you then you can just tell me! It's not a scene, Rodney. It's for real. I want your real responses."

Rodney sat there, his shoulders tense and hunched. "I can't do that," he said miserably.

"Why not? Because it's too intimate? Because you won't let your guard down?" John pressed. Rodney just shook his head, mutely. John knelt down in front of him, and put his hands on his knees. "What are you so afraid of, Rodney? Letting someone in, letting someone care about you?"

"You're asking me to go into this blind. To let you do anything you want."

"I'm asking you to give up control - isn't that what being a sub is all about?" John said, stroking Rodney's knees gently. "You give up control and I take it? It's a journey we can both go on together."

Rodney gazed at him, shaking his head. "Maybe when I get to know you better," he said. "Maybe we can build up to that? You could start out with the list and…."

"No. No, we do this together, from the beginning, feeling our way, or we don't do it at all." John told him firmly.

"I don't see what's wrong with just following the list," Rodney snapped.

John got up, went over to the waste basket, and fished out the list. "How about this for starters," he said, smoothing it out and putting it on the table, leaning over Rodney's shoulder and pointing. "Anal penetration. You don't do anal penetration? What the hell is that about?"

Rodney flushed. "I don't like it. It hurts. I used to see this woman and she had this strap-on…and I hated it. Then there was this guy and…well, I only let him do it once because it was too painful, and I panicked, and it ended badly. There's plenty of other stuff I like though. I give truly spectacular blowjobs if I do say so myself, so my tops don't usually mind that I won't do other stuff. Here, let me show you."

He made to get up, but John put a hand on his shoulder and pushed him back down.

"I'm sure the blow jobs *are* truly spectacular," he said. "But, Rodney, I'm going to want to make love to that fantastic ass of yours. That's non-negotiable. There is no way I'm going to be able to have that ass so tantalisingly close and not be able to sink myself into it - into *you*. I want to make love to you every which way it's possible - I want to throw you onto your back and look into your eyes when I enter you, and I want to lie behind you and open your ass cheeks and slide into you, slowly and lazily, and I want to put you on your hands and knees and take you from behind, raw, and fast, and hard, until you pass out from pleasure."

Rodney stared at him, looking utterly stunned.

"If it hurts we can work on that," John told him softly, running his fingers gently up and down Rodney's cheek. "But I suspect it only hurts because you don't trust anyone and that means you never relax. You never *really* let anyone in, Rodney, and this is just symbolic of that. Everything you say screams at people to keep their distance - all the sarcasm, all the snarking. I won't be kept at bay, Rodney. I want you, and I want all of you, and I won't be held back by some goddamn list!"

"I can't!" Rodney shook his head.

"You can." John took hold of his face, and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. Rodney shivered under his touch, and leaned in towards him, and John wrapped his arms around him and held him tight. "Surrender to me, Rodney," he whispered when the kiss finished. "Have you ever really surrendered to anyone before, or has it always just been a game?"

"I don't know. I can't…I've never…."

John saw his answer in Rodney's eyes. Rodney was undoubtedly an eager, compliant sub, but he never went outside his comfort zone, and never really submitted to the will of his top. He only gave as much of himself as he needed in order to get off. John empathised with him - he didn't think he'd ever truly taken responsibility for any of his subs before - he'd been playing at it as much as Rodney had, taking what he needed in order to enjoy the sex, but never really taking control. Now he wanted to do that - he wanted to do this for real, and have Rodney come with him on the journey. He knew it wouldn't necessarily be easy, but he suspected it would be all the sweeter for that.

"You won't know if you don't try," John said, cradling Rodney's face between his hands. "I think it'll be good - and you can trust me, Rodney, I promise."

"I'm not good at trusting people."

"I know, and I can understand why, from everything you've told me about your upbringing," John said quietly. Rodney stared at him from frightened blue eyes. "Come on. Come over here. Let's do this together," John said, getting up and taking hold of Rodney's arm, leading him over to the bed. Rodney went, but then stopped before they got there.

"I can't," he said again. "I honestly can't. This is never going to work, Colonel. You're asking too much of me!"

They stood there, face to face, and then Rodney's face crumpled, and he shook his head, and walked swiftly to the door.

"I'll still be here, Rodney," John told him. "If you change your mind."

"Why can't you do it my way?" Rodney said, desperately, turning in the doorway.

"Because I love you," John told him, and it felt like such a relief to finally get the words out. Rodney's eyes widened, and he looked completely and utterly shocked. "I mean it. I love you and I want to do this right - for both of us - and that means not doing it your way, Rodney."

"You love me? How can you love me? When did this…?" Rodney just looked flummoxed.

"I've been in love with you for a long time - I just didn't want to spook you. Look, Rodney, I told you - I've been celibate for over a year and I can wait a bit longer. I'll wait for as long as it takes. You're my sub, Rodney, and I'm not giving up on that."

Rodney gazed at him blankly, his blue eyes completely at a loss. "I don't understand any of this," he muttered at last.

"Then take your time. Get your head around it," John told him calmly. "I won't pressure you but when you come back here, I'll want your complete surrender, Rodney. I'll want to love you and make love to you, to be both your top and your lover. I won't accept anything less - and no list. Just you and me."

Rodney shook his head. "I don't think I can give you what you want. You should go and fall in love with someone else," he said.

"Too late." John gave a rueful grin. "And I'm not put off that easily. I'm not going anywhere, Rodney. I'm going to be here, waiting until you come to me."

Rodney didn't say anything more. He just turned, and walked out of the room, taking John's heart and hopes with him.

 

~*~

Rodney returned to his room in a complete daze. He thought he had known what to expect from this evening, and he'd been looking forward to at least some good sex. He didn't expect it to last, but he thought he'd take what was on offer while it was on offer. He'd asked around - discreetly - and nobody had anything negative to say about Sheppard. As far as it was possible to know, he assumed the colonel would be a safe enough top.

Rodney had never had a close or lasting relationship - he'd had crushes on people a couple of times, but had never been in love. In fact, his feelings of friendship for Carson and Elizabeth aside, the only person he'd ever loved was his sister. Yet here was John, standing there, saying he loved him, and Rodney didn't know where that had come from.

None of his previous tops had been all that enamoured of him. One had simply enjoyed fucking with his mind, and one had found him amusing but too much like hard work. None of them had shown any indication of loving him, and, to be fair, Rodney had never wanted that. His parents were lousy role models for how relationships worked, and, as a result, he had never believed in romantic love. He remembered that picture of John's parents, laughing at the camera, clearly very much in love, and sighed - the colonel obviously had a much rosier view of relationships than he did.

Rodney threw himself down on his bed and gazed at the ceiling. On one level he felt flattered - John was a good looking man, and, more than that, he was a popular man - intelligent, likeable, funny and strong. He had it all, and Rodney had no idea what attracted him to an irascible scientist like himself. On another level Rodney was just plain miffed - it had been a long time since he'd had any decent sex and John had looked hot this evening.

Rodney closed his eyes and remembered John's long legs, encased in all that firm black leather, and the way he moved around the room, like a caged panther waiting to pounce. He'd wanted to be pounced upon, dammit! He'd wanted to be thrown down onto the bed and very comprehensively mauled if he was honest - but not without the safety net of ultimately being in control of the whole event. Rodney just didn't trust anyone enough to give them that degree of power over him.

He'd learned his distrust at his mother's capricious knee, knowing that any sign of affection from her was usually manufactured as part of her ongoing war with their father. His father had been even worse, demanding constant reassurance that Rodney loved him more than his mother, and sulking for weeks on end if Rodney did the slightest thing that made him suspect that wasn't the case. Rodney had never been good at interpreting complex emotional signals, and between the manipulations of his mother, and the emotional demands of his father, he had ended up thoroughly confused. Now he simply didn't trust that anyone might love him for himself - yet, try as he might, he couldn't think what John's ulterior motive might be.

What if…what if John was telling the truth? What if the man really was in love with him? What would it be like to surrender to him without the safety net of his list and his safe word? Could Rodney ever bring himself to trust someone that much that he'd just let go, let his guard down, let them in? He didn't think so. It wasn't that he didn't want to, just that he *couldn't*.

He hadn't anticipated any of this. He had thought the beach date would be a disaster, and that John would soon lose interest in him, but instead there had been all those hot kisses, hundreds of them, searing his lips and leaving him dazed and confused. Then there had been that impossibly romantic stroll along the beach, hand in hand. For the first time in his life Rodney hadn't tried to over-think the occasion - he'd just gone along with it and allowed himself to be swept up by it. But that was just one day, and Rodney was under no illusions that one day, no matter how romantic, could be the basis for a life-long relationship of the kind that John seemed to be suggesting.

Rodney spent a sleepless night, tossing and turning, trying to figure out a way he could have John but not on John's terms, but he didn't come up with a solution. He was just getting dressed the following morning when there was a knock on the door. He opened it and his heart immediately flipped when he saw John standing there, dark hair tousled, smiling at him.

"Morning, Rodney." John leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his cheek and Rodney just stared at him, wondering what the hell was going on. John had said he would wait, that there was no pressure - turning up here at the crack of dawn wasn't Rodney's definition of 'no pressure' and he thrust out his jaw belligerently.

"If you're here about last night I haven't changed my mind," he snapped.

"I'm not." John gave one of those deceptively lazy smiles. "I'm here because today is the first day of your drills, remember?"

"What?" Rodney glared at him. He'd completely forgotten about the stupid, hand-to-hand combat drills that the colonel was so intent on putting him through. "Oh. Well…why did you just kiss me?" he demanded.

"You're my sub - I haven't seen you since last night, and I was wishing you good morning. You think a kiss isn't appropriate?" John raised an eyebrow.

"But…last night…we didn't have sex!" Rodney blurted, because he felt that was somehow central to the whole discussion. John gazed at him steadily.

"No, we didn't," he drawled eventually, making it sound like he was talking to an imbecile. "Am I only supposed to be affectionate towards you if you put out?"

"Yes! No! Hell, I don't know. I'm confused enough as it is," Rodney grumbled.

"Well then let's forget about that and get on with the drills," John said and Rodney wasn't happy about that, either, but at least it got them off the tricky discussion.

He ambled down to the practice room beside his top, and John rested his hand on Rodney's shoulder as he always did when they walked anywhere these days. Rodney was still pondering the whole 'you're my sub' comment. True, John had taken him as his sub and Rodney had formally accepted him as his top, but in light of what had happened the previous evening it didn't *feel* like they were sub and top.

Major Lorne was waiting for them when they got to the practice room and they got warmed up with some stretches, and then John pointed to the mat.

"Okay - we need to figure out what to do if you get captured again," he said. "Like the other day."

"The chances of that happening again must be very low," Rodney protested.

"But it could happen," John said firmly and there was a look in those hazel eyes of his that said that no matter how obstinate Rodney could be, when John got an idea into his head he could be equally stubborn. Rodney sighed - on this at least he could see that he'd have to give in.

"All right. Whatever," he said sulkily.

"Okay. Now, Lorne, if you'd like to grab Rodney from behind, one arm across his neck… that's it."

Rodney stood there, while Lorne did as he was told, holding Rodney in a pretty secure neck lock. Rodney didn't like the sensation - he could hear Lorne's breathing in his ear and the man's arms were slightly sweaty across his body. Rodney fought down an urge to twist out of the major's grasp, and looked expectantly towards John for further instructions. John was just standing there though, glaring at them, breathing heavily, a frown creasing his forehead, his hands clenched into fists by his side.

"Well?" Rodney demanded. "Are you going to show me some fancy footwork or what?"

"No," John said, in a tight voice. "This isn't going to work like this. Lorne, take your hands off him. I'll play the part of your attacker, Rodney."

"Oh for god's sake! What the hell is wrong…?" Rodney began but then he had a sudden flash of startled realisation; even though the colonel had told Lorne to grab him, he wasn't at all happy to see another top with his arms around Rodney. John was…jealous?

John stomped towards him, exchanging places with Lorne, and, standing behind Rodney, slid his arms around him, holding him tight. Rodney's body behaved the way it always did when John got close to him - he went completely limp in his arms, and leaned back into John. He was annoyed with himself, and wished his body didn't betray him like this whenever John was around, but he didn't seem to have any control over himself.

John was still breathing heavily but, unlike with Lorne, Rodney *liked* the sound. It made him glaze over and lean back even more. John's arms tightened around Rodney, and they were now pressed much closer together than was strictly necessary. Rodney could feel the hard outline of the colonel's body against his back, and he loved the way it felt to be captured, imprisoned within John's arms like this.

"Okay," John said, in a low tone, directly into his ear. "When I say the word, I want you to come towards us, Lorne. Rodney, don't do anything until I tell you." Rodney's cock started to stir in his pants at the sound of his top's voice, so close and commanding.

"No, no, no. This isn't going to work either!" Rodney said, trying to elbow his way out of John's grasp. John released him.

"Why the hell not?" he demanded.

"For a very similar reason to why it didn't work for you when Lorne was playing at being my attacker," Rodney growled, glancing down at his pants which were ever so slightly tented at the front. John glanced down too, and a look of realisation flashed into his eyes. Lorne, standing behind them, didn't see any of this.

"Oh," John muttered.

"Yes. Well." Rodney flushed, feeling embarrassed. "Is there any other way of doing this?"

"Can you think of one?" John shrugged. Rodney shrugged back. "Okay then," John said, in a falsely bright tone. "Let's leave that one and try something else. How about…what to do if someone comes at you with a knife?"

The rest of the drill session passed without incident and Rodney took a shower, got changed, and set off for his lab. He was surprised, at noon, when John arrived in the lab, and settled his long body into one of the chairs, swinging on it aimlessly.

"Were you waiting for something, Colonel?" Rodney asked tetchily, st