Last Updated: Feb, 2002

Essay Topics

Spookys 2001 - December 22nd, 2001
"I didn't know you were bi!" -  Advice on Writing Slash - October 2001
Independence Day Update - October 2001
Plagiarism and Creativity - July 2000
The Portrayal Of Walter Skinner in Fanfiction. - February 2000
Feedback - August 1999

Spookys 2001

“I didn’t know you were bi!” – Advice on Writing Slash

I have a certain unique perspective on writing slash in that I also write in many other genres as well, including het, friendship, humour, threesomes, and so on. To be honest, I don’t approach writing slash any differently to how I write my het stories. The essential elements of both are realistic characterisation, a solid narrative, good, believable dialogue, and, (sometimes!) a plot. Just because both the main characters are male, and they end up in bed together, doesn’t mean that my approach is fundamentally different, or that writing slash requires different skills. There are, though, some obvious factors to think about, and one very obvious one indeed… 

“Sex, sex, sex – that’s all you think about.”

I’ve been approached several times by nervous people asking for my advice on writing their first slash sex scene. I’ve also frequently heard people lamenting that writing the sex is the hardest part of the story. I don’t have that problem! Maybe I’m seriously kinky, but I actually find sex one of the easiest things to write. It’s the fun part of writing, the recreational part, when all the tricky plot stuff is out of the way, and you can just concentrate on physical sensation. I love writing sex!

I know some people find slash sex particularly hard to write, and I’m not sure why. I suspect it’s because they feel they can’t draw on real life to inform their writing, and they worry that they might get something “wrong”. I can empathise with that. When I first started writing I felt sure that someone would spot that I was a fraud, and that <shock!> I wasn’t a gay man. Most slash writers, except for the very small percentage who are gay men, are in the same boat. A few of them do some research, which is a good idea if you want to feel more confident about your subject, but I’ll admit that much of what I know about gay sex I learned from slash – and I filled in the gaps with my imagination.

I’m not advising people to write about sex without any knowledge of the rudimentaries of the sexual act, but I am also most firmly not of the school of thought that you have to have experienced something yourself in order to write about it. If that were the case then presumably we wouldn’t be able to put ourselves in the mind of a killer without first going out and murdering someone. It’s nonsense - that’s what the imagination is for. I’m always furious when I go to writing classes, or read books about writing, where the same old advice is rehashed endlessly. Always write from personal experience, we are told. Well, if I did that, I can assure you that my writing would be very tedious. Personal experience can be fodder for stories, and inspiration for them, but if you’re a science fiction/fantasy/erotica junkie, as I am, then regurgitating snippets of your life can only take you so far. The imagination is a rich place and doesn’t need to be confined by the boundaries of Real Life, in my view. I want my escapism, I want my imagination – I want my slash. To anyone scared of writing m/m sex scenes, I’d advise you to just get on and do it. Gay sex, straight sex, it’s all sex at the end of the day. It all involves panting, kissing, sweating, and bodily fluids - and if you’re writing slash then you’re also lucky enough to have not just one, but two very well endowed men to play with as well.

So, having got the anxiety about writing your slash sex scene out of the way, how should you go about actually writing the scene?

Nuts and…bolts.

There are plenty of great gay resources on the net, including one written by our very own fanfic gay sexpert Minotaur. Don’t get hung up on technicalities though, because, believe it or not, some readers don’t even read sex scenes. I know that what my readers hanker after is a real sense of connection between the characters, culminating in a resolution that doesn’t even have to be sexual so long as it resolves the feelings of the characters satisfactorily. I don’t think that in this respect slash is any different to het fic.

I wouldn’t necessarily advocate using too much realism in writing slash sex scenes. This might seem a strange thing to say, but we all know that sex isn’t always the joyous experience that is usually described in romance fiction of all descriptions, slash or het. Real Life sex can be awkward, painful, and unsatisfying – but this is fiction, and we can create the sex scene we want to imagine taking place, in a land where the men are well hung, the condoms and lube are always to hand, nobody has to sleep in the wet patch, and Kim never seems to overhear Mulder and Skinner going at it hammer and tongs on Skinner’s desk.

When writing any sex scene you might like to bear in mind who your audience is. I say this because the way women like reading about two men making love, and the way men actually experience gay sex may be two very different things. I know that my readers aren’t particularly interested in bodily fluids, but they are interested in how sex feels, and the emotions of the participants. Generally speaking, also, women tend to want the sex act to culminate in penetration. For gay men, anal penetration may not be all that important, but women generally tend to feel the sex act is incomplete without penetration. That’s why penetration is very much a feature of sex scenes in slash fanfiction. It doesn’t have to be – describing mutual masturbation, frottage, or fellatio can be just as satisfying to your readers.

There are some fundamentals. If you’re writing about anal sex and forget to have your main characters use either lubrication or a condom, then you’re likely to get emails from people who get hung up over this issue. I don’t – I have better things to worry about in life - but some people find it upsetting. Also, if your characters are in a new relationship, or haven’t had much experience of anal sex, then you should ensure that the one on the receiving end is “stretched” by his partner, to prevent tearing.

I don’t think there are any hard and fast rules about what you can or should portray. This is our fantasy sex world after all, where we have a control over both the sex act itself, and even over men that we might not have in our Real Lives. When I’m writing slash I can be completely free. I can stage manage the sex. I can party. I’m in control: Yes - I use slash to top!

Ooh, kinky!

I’m not in favour of self-censorship. I don’t think there should be any rights and wrongs, or any places we shouldn’t go in our imaginations. If you write something that other people find distasteful, then you’ll find out soon enough if you post it. If you write something you think might offend, then getting the advice of two or three beta readers might be a good idea. You might decide that maybe this is a story best kept on your hard drive, or you might decide to post it with copious warnings.

When I started my BDSM epic, ‘24/7’, I was very concerned that the graphic and explicit descriptions of consensual BDSM sex would draw cries of outrage from some readers, but that didn’t happen. Instead, it became probably my most popular work to date, with thousands of readers. In each chapter I have explored some complex BDSM themes and issues, and graphically depicted BDSM sex, and I haven’t (so far!) had any emails of complaint about the sex. On the contrary, that series has been nominated for several awards for “best sex scene.” I am, however, careful about where I post it. It’s available on my site, complete with numerous warnings, but other than that I have only posted the text to a few specialist sites, such as the Boys in Chains archive. I have posted the story link more widely, but each time I put a warning about the subject matter. I think that’s only courteous.

Two years ago I wouldn’t even have dared to write something as explicit as ‘24/7’, but I have more confidence now, and I’m prepared to take more risks. This was a risk that paid off. Some risks might not. The net can be a censorious place after all. Bear that in mind if you’re thinking of posting something kinky.

My advice if you’re writing something seriously kinky, is: do you find this idea exciting yourself? Does it turn you on? If you’re just writing about spanking because there’s been a trend for spanking stories recently, then that’s probably the wrong reason. If you’re exploring a kink then make sure you have an understanding of the kink or it’ll be obvious that you aren’t really interested, and don’t know what you’re talking about. You don’t need first hand experience of that kink, but you should be able to imagine how it might feel to be on the receiving end of it.

I often receive emails from people saying they never liked BDSM stories before reading mine. Some people are astonished that my characters <gasp> love each other, even when one of them is giving the other a thorough spanking or indulging in some act of sexual torture. Sadly, there’s a lot of really bad BDSM out there. This is a subject that makes me fairly angry: BDSM is not an excuse to have one of your characters behave like a thug, and abuse the other. Consensual BDSM is about the erotic exchange of power. It is not, and never should be, an excuse to explore issues of domestic violence. That is something else entirely and has nothing to do with BDSM. There’s nothing wrong in writing about abusive relationships – but don’t do it under the guise of writing a BDSM story. I think one of the common misconceptions people have about BDSM is that the top is getting off on hurting the bottom. This isn’t the case. With BDSM it’s entirely possible that the bottom is controlling the whole event. It’s often the case that the bottom is getting more out of it than the top, who may simply be playing a role so that his lover can get off. Remember that your bottom should be enjoying himself – even if he’s pretending not to!

“I didn’t know you were bi!” - Conventions of the genre

Slash has come such a long way, and it is much less self conscious now than it was even two and half years ago when I first started reading and writing it. In the early days, it was de rigueur for the characters to have a long discussion about their sexuality prior to making love.

“I didn’t know you were bi!” was a common exclamation upon Mulder and Skinner finding their lips locked, and their bodies convulsed in the throes of passion. There was a good deal of agonising about ‘coming out’ at the office, and how to tell Scully. Times have changed, and a lot of slash has flowed under the bridge since then. Now, the characters generally agree that they must be discreet, but they don’t tend to feel the need to discuss the whole “being gay” thing the way they used to. Slash is now so prevalent on the net, and so accepted in fanfic circles, that the shock value isn’t there. Why would Mulder and Skinner be surprised to find themselves in a clinch, when we read 15 stories just yesterday where they were boffing like bunnies? Hal makes this point in her usual inimitable style in her story ‘The Scarlet Letter’, in which Scully tries to explain to Mulder that she isn’t gay. "How did you get accepted by the FBI if you're het?" he asks blankly, his eyes darting to the picture of JEH hanging on the office wall.

So it’s no longer necessary to have your characters discuss the fact they’re gay. These days the boys frequently fling themselves into each other’s arms without being remotely surprised to find that they’re gay. Frequently, they aren’t even gay. This may seem surprising, but it’s a common theme in slash. What we see onscreen is a chemistry and connection between two men, and we translate that into slash by giving them a romantic and sexual relationship. We explain away previous girlfriends/wives by playing the bisexual card – or we don’t even make it that definite. Often the characters are simply gender-blind. They’ve fallen in love with each other, and that’s the important thing. As women writing slash we love the idea of two men being together, and in our ideal world gay people aren’t persecuted for their sexual orientation. Unsurprisingly, it is our bigotry-free fantasy world that we often choose to depict in our stories, rather than the real one. I want there to be emotional angst, related to the inner drama of the characters’ lives, rather than related to their sexuality every time. I take it for granted that they’re sleeping together, and that they have a fulfilled sexual relationship with very few hang-ups. It would be very boring if every story had to also contain angst about sexual identity as well. By all means write a story where Mulder and Skinner deal very seriously about the issue of being gay – but remember that if you want to write a second slash story, and then a third, that you’re unlikely to want to keep going over the same issues. That’s why so many slash writers ignore what in Real Life would obviously be a more significant issue for the characters than it so often is in slash stories.

It’s good to talk…

When I started writing slash I thought that two men would be unlikely to behave as romantically as women. I thought relationships between two men would be characterised by more violence, and gruffness, and less tenderness. I didn’t think they would talk about their emotions as often, or as honestly. These, in a kind of arrogance, I had assumed were female prerogatives, and while there may be a small and very generalised grain of truth in the stereotypes, that isn’t the whole picture by any means, and, more than that, it isn’t necessarily what my readers want to read. Very soon after I started writing, a gay male writer emailed to ask why my characters were so rarely involved in honest, romantic discussions about their emotions. I replied that I found it hard to imagine men talking in such a way to each other, but he assured me that it could, and did happen, and it was a beautiful revelation for me, and had a profound effect on my writing. It’s true that I do sometimes now write my male characters with a degree of emotional self-awareness that I think few people, male or female, possess, but I enjoy writing them that way, and my readers enjoy reading them like that as well. Yes, we could all stick to a very rigid version of what we perceive to be the Real World, but what price realism if it isn’t really what people want to read? After all, if we took realism to the nth degree, then we wouldn’t be able to have any of the characters jumping into bed together, because as far as we can tell <nods to the inscrutable Chris Carter> that hasn’t happened on the show.

Rape…and character rape

There are two common pitfalls of writing slash: one is that the men are often appallingly feminised, and the other is that they are equally appallingly brutalised. These extremes happen because women wish to both identify with their heroes, and exorcise their own demons too. Think for a moment how likely it would be that Skinner would rape Scully. It isn’t, and I don’t think I’ve read a story where that happens. Okay, so why do you think it likely that he’d rape Mulder either? There are a surprisingly large number of stories dealing with that storyline. I know some gay male writers who are appalled by women’s preoccupation with having the male characters both inflict and suffer sexual torture. Obviously women use slash to work through some of their own fears, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Think carefully though, before you write, about whether it’s appropriate to depict characters we know and love behaving in such a brutal way. If you can make a case for it in your story – mind-altering drugs, psychosis, alien possession etc, then that’s fine, but if it’s just a case of overwhelming lust, or the need to overpower and abuse, then I’d ask you to think very carefully before writing. People won’t thank you for using the characters they love in order to work through some fear, or life trauma, of your own.

Another pitfall of slash is the kind of fic where the men are de facto women. This can be wrongly categorised as “schmoop”. I say wrongly because I’ve seen some BDSM stories where the guys behave like silly schoolgirls. Schmoop is a kind of romantic, nothing-much-happens fic, which, because of the genre, can lend itself to particularly unrealistic portrayals of the guys. While I rarely write schmoop, sometimes it’s exactly what I want to read, and it can press all my buttons. Some schmoop is so well done that it’s like sinking into a warm bath with a cup of hot chocolate – it’s sweet, and warm, and comforting. Yes, it would be silly to have Mulder and Skinner calling each other ‘buttercup’ and staying home to knit each other matching sweaters every night, but that’s just bad characterisation. You can write good schmoop while still keeping the characters both male and macho. JiM is excellent at this.

Character rape isn’t confined to slash though, and isn’t a particular pitfall of that genre. MSR!Mulder can be as hopelessly feminised as Slash!Mulder, and there is a particular incarnation of gruff, UpAgainstTheWall!Skinner who seems exclusive to het fanfic.

I don’t think there are any special rules about slash that don’t also apply to writing het fanfic: keep your characters true to the show, know the basics about the sexual activity you’re describing, and keep your plot simple and clear. Clarity is the one thing I go on, and on, and on about when beta reading. You can have the best plot in the world but if it’s so complicated that nobody understands it, and they can’t get through your story because it makes no sense, then what is the point? Make your character motivation clear, keep your characters recognisable to those we see onscreen, pay some attention to dialogue, have some knowledge of canon, and, most of all, write about what interests you. If you’re new to slash as a genre, then for god’s sake read some slash stories before you start! When I first found slash on the net I couldn’t believe my eyes. This was what I had been looking for all my life without even realising it. I spent two weeks reading every single night, until my eyes positively popped out of my head, and then I sat down to write. And write. And write…and I haven’t stopped since.

Why write slash at all?

Before you sit down and write your slash story, you might like to ask yourself not ‘how do I write slash?’ but why am I writing it? When I first started writing slash I used to discuss the matter endlessly with my online friends. Why am I writing slash? What’s the appeal? I talk about it less these days because I just take it for granted that slash is part of my psyche.

I don’t write slash because I’m poking my tongue out at the patriarchal powers-that-be by appropriating images and icons of popular television and exercising power over them because I feel disenfranchised by the relationships and power structures shown on my TV screen. Nor am I putting up two fingers to the male dominated writing team at ‘1013’ by showing that we women can take their creations and re-write them in the image we want to see, although both the above may be true. Yes, writing slash is an expression of my sexuality, it does empower me, and there is something inherently subversive about it – but that isn’t why I do it either. I don’t think I can put it any better than Wombat does in her fabulously funny parody of slash fanfic ‘Muldertorture’:

“But you don't understand!' Mulder wailed desperately. 'There's no escape! Not as long as there are women who write about rough male/male sex to create an environment for themselves where characters can enjoy being sexually submissive without conforming to male/female sexual archetypes and in the process using the hurt/comfort mechanism to break through social taboos against homosexuality by creating a stress/pain situation where male sexual contact is both punished and permitted!'

'You think that's why they do it?' Byers asked.

'That's not why they do it, Mulder.' Langly said, with an evil grin.

'They do it because it's fun, Mulder.' Frohike said, with a nasty smirk.

So, if you, too, think it’s fun, and if the idea of two men making hot monkey love turns you on – go write a slash story!

Xanthe@xanthe.org

Written and posted at Working Stiffs, a fanfic resource site: 6^th October, 2000

Posted at Xanthe.org: October 2001.

Independence Day Update, July 4, 2001

This is a difficult update to do. As must be clear, I haven't been doing any writing. Nor do I anticipate writing any X Files stories in the near future. I'm taking a breather from fanfic for various reasons - some personal, some to do with the show itself, and some related to online fandom. Without going into too much gory detail, I'll outline them below so my regular readers have some idea of where I'm coming from.

I would like to thank all those people who have been so kind to me over the years, who have visited this site, enjoyed my fiction, and shared their warm thoughts <G> with me via feedback and other correspondence. You know who you are, and you've been fantastic - thank you very much.

Xanthe@xanthe.org

Posted to Xanthe homepage, July 4, 2001

Plagiarism and Creativity

I received an email recently from someone asking me about similarities between one of my stories and another story she'd read. I was a little put out, to say the least, as I'd never read the other story. A lot of hot air is expended on the subject of plagiarism in fanfiction and I know it causes some raised voices and, on occasion, the odd flame war.  I've always had a fairly relaxed attitude about it. If I see clear influences of my work in someone else's stories, I'm usually flattered.  

The process of creativity is a complex one - often we're influenced by other people's writing and go on to develop a theme based on that. That's all part of the creative process. After all, everyone writing X Files fanfiction thought highly enough of Chris Carter's inventions to want to develop and play with them in the first place. In so doing, we transcend the characters we see onscreen, rendering them more personal, making them do things that we know CC would *never* do but which we want to see. I don't see anything wrong with this process. It's only by doing this that the human race progresses and develops in all fields of creative endeavour, whether it be writing or science. One person's idea becomes another person's building block to achieve something new and possibly greater.

When a sentence from Debra Fran Baker's Balancing Act leapt out of the page at me, I saw an instant story in it. I wrote and asked her if I could use that one line as a basis for my story and she was happy to give me permission. The story was Hostage and I credit her at the beginning of the story for the initial inspiration, however far apart the end result was in terms of plotting from her story (they're very different stories).

I think there's a world of difference between a homage to an author you admire, and consistent plagiarising though. The former, usually accompanied by a note of credit and thanks, are always welcome, and make me feel pretty darn happy to have inspired other people's writing. The latter becomes wearisome over time. It certainly takes nothing away from the author's achievement to mention that she was influenced by another person's work, ideas or opinions. The writing is the hard part after all! Ideas are relatively easy to come by. People often send me little snippety ideas for 24/7, some of which I use - and I credit them at the beginning of the story. Of course we all unconsciously plagiarise - that's the nature of the beast. Who can say whether a phrase that springs instantly to mind is the result of authorly inspiration or just something we read last week? If we let that inhibit us then nothing would get done. 

I don't have any rights over BDSM stories in this fandom for example. We all know that certain phrases crop up over and over again in BDSM fic because we all *enjoy* them ("Who do you belong to?" "You, Master!" <G>). That isn't plagiarism, it's just a common convention that everybody knows and accepts. To claim that you own all medieval, or post-colonisation AU's just because you've written one such successful story would be daft. You might well be held up as a standard for such stories but you don't own the genre. For me to claim that I own all telepathy stories because I wrote Nexus for example would be plain silly, and anyway, I love reading them, especially if I haven't had to write the darn things! It's always fun reading other people's takes on these genres anyway. Some ideas are simply in the public domain - the idea of a nuclear catastrophe destroying the world, or aliens invading, or Mulder and Skinner being in a BDSM relationship <G> etc etc. It's what each author does with her story that's important in those instances. There might be some overlap but it's usually clear when a story is merely similar in theme or plot to another and not actually plagiarising it.

However, consistently taking someone's specific plots, dialogue and phrasing and never crediting them as inspiration is plagiarism and is annoying. While I'm flattered that people are inspired by my stories, I have in the past become depressed when I see repeated phrases, and very specific acts and action lifted from my stories, without the author crediting me in any way. I will admit that there have been occasions when this kind of consistent plagiarism has depressed me to the extent where I've stopped writing for a while.

My only significant comment on this subject is: If you see something when you're reading that you think looks very, very familiar, containing whole phrases, acts, and maybe even scenes that you've read elsewhere - check the dates the respective stories were posted. The plagiarism might not spoil your enjoyment of either story, but at least you'll know where credit is most due.

Xanthe@xanthe.org 1st July, 2000.

The Portrayal Of Walter Skinner in Fanfiction.

I know that I'm a poor, sad, minority person, in that Skinner, and not Mulder, Scully, or Krycek is my main focus of interest in fanfiction. I don't mind the fact that it's much harder for me to find stories out there that are satisfying, and I'm resigned to the fact that people don't really understand that it's Skinner who pushes my buttons. What does get my goat occasionally, is the invisibility of Skinner in stories where he is supposed to be one of the main characters. I hope that in my stories, whoever I put Skinner with, whether it be Krycek, Scully, or Mulder, I make a genuine effort to understand the other character, and relay their viewpoint.

Skinner doesn't exist just to be there for someone else, he's not just a vehicle to worship another character - he's real. He has his own story, and it can be good! I'm not interested in reading a romance involving only one character and the author. I want to read about two people, who both have qualities the other one falls for.

My own opinion on his character, for what it is worth, is this:

I see a man who finds it hard to articulate his emotions (Avatar), although when he does, he's unashamedly romantic, self-deprecating, and self-aware, and is all too conscious of his own failings (Avatar, SR819, One Breath) I see a shy, private man (Avatar). I see someone who behaves like a gentleman towards women (the postal worker in Zero Sum, Holly in Pusher, the waitress he stands up for in Piper Maru), and a solicitous, caring boss (Zero Sum, One Breath). He's a perfectionist, someone who believes passionately in justice and working within procedure (Piper Maru), an old soldier, comfortable with hierachy and both giving, and taking orders (Unrequited), and someone not afraid to fight his corner, and do battle with the enemy, to give himself up for a cause he believes in (SR819, Zero Sum, Anasazi, Tuguska, One Breath). He isn't perfect. He's made mistakes, both personally and professionally (Avatar, Unrequited, Zero Sum) but he genuinely tries to do a good job. We cannot know what his orders are from his superiors, or what difficult path he has to tread, but I, for one, am definitely prepared to give him the benefit of the doubt. After Zero Sum, and One Breath I find it hard to believe he'd ever willingly betray either Mulder or Scully.

He has a past in Vietnam which has left him with a great deal of sadness, and some demons in his life, as those nightmares in Avatar prove. He was married for 17 years and his separation seems to have been marked by a great deal of fondness on the part of his wife, who visits him during their separation, and makes it clear that she still cares about him a great deal. He's obviously not a man who treated her brutishly. Their marriage didn't end in rows and acrimonious disputes. He seems to have been easy to live with, and she still views him as a good person, and someone she'd like to comfort and take care of. After 17 years living with him, she should know. Skinner is a controlled person. He isn't mercurial like Mulder. He's restrained. He rarely loses his temper, or shouts, despite the popular image we have of him. Mulder has hit Skinner twice (both times in exceptional circumstances) and on neither occasion has Skinner retaliated - he only ever restrains. Scully frequently berates him for a perceived lack of help, and he never argues his case, although we've often seen him moving behind the scenes to help both Mulder and Scully. (They never thank him!)

What's the problem with having the big guy on the bottom in slash stories? I like a penetrated Walter <G>. There's no rule that says the older, bigger guy always goes on top. I'm as much a fan of Master!Skinner as the next gal (obviously!) but he's only human. He doesn't have to be this way all the time. When he gets away from the office it's just as likely that he enjoys taking the orders as giving them out. Notice the dynamic between Mulder and Skinner in the police station scene in Avatar. Mulder isn't the only one with demons, and he can be firm and commanding in order to help his boss. Skinner, equally, can be sad and vulnerable. To my mind, nobody in the X Files has made more touching emotional or romantic speeches than Skinner, strange though that might seem. Think of his words to Sharon on her deathbed, and the inscription in his wedding ring. Not the words of a cold, or angry man, but tender, and loving. Think of his "resignation" speech to Mulder in One Breath. He shares so much of his past there, without faltering, and with a good deal of raw emotional honesty, because he wants Mulder to stay.

My personal take on the two men is that Mulder, to me, is a very strong person. He has to be, to have survived some of what he's suffered in his life. He wears his emotions on his sleeve sometimes, and doesn't mind people seeing them, but underneath, he's made of steel. Skinner seems the opposite to me. He keeps his feelings hidden, he keeps people at bay with that gruff exterior, but I think that's because underneath he feels very deeply, and he doesn't want people to know what a soft touch he is. As for Scully's personality, I'll admit that onscreen I understand it less and less. I wish CC would have an episode where he addresses what's happening with her, but that's another topic for discussion!

Everyone, of course, is entitled to their own view of Skinner. My plea is to please don't make him invisible when you write about him! He's more than just muscles and a growl, and he doesn't just exist to rescue/adore Mulder, Scully or Krycek. He can be so much more interesting than that.

Xanthe@xanthe.org Feb 23, 2000.

The Feedback Rant

So often I think of giving up, and then have an idea for a story that just HAS to be told. I can't get it out of my head, and I love the writing so very much. Being immersed in the characters, making the story unfold. It's a wonderful feeling.

People often tell me they're too busy to send feedback. They don't have the time. But they have the time to read. Trust me - if it takes an hour to read a story, it probably took the author 3 days or more to write it. I don't think it's a huge investment of the reader's time to spend 5 mins composing some feedback. I'm pretty darn busy too, but I make a point of sending feedback to stories I've enjoyed, even when I'm tired, because I know how important it is.

Let's face it - writing stories is a huge investment of time and energy, sending feedback isn't. Even the longest, most detailed feedback doesn't take more than half an hour. Compare that with the writing of a story that has given you so much pleasure.

I'm not making a personal point here. Four fanfic authors recently told me they were thinking of giving up writing XF fanfic which upset me as I like their work. One of them was a very high profile slash writer who I'm sure many of you would know. All of them cited lack of feedback as one of the main reasons why. It saddens me because I've made friends through giving and receiving feedback - email friends who I've also met in RL. Friends who I can see being with me for the rest of my life. Those people who never send feedback are missing out on that.

Yes, in an ideal world, just the writing would be enough. But if that were truly the case, nobody would post. We'd all just write and then move onto the next story which is what I used to do before I discovered the net. However, if there's not much feedback, then an author might as well be writing OC's and stuff to amuse themselves, and not anything for posting on the net, and who can blame them for deciding to do just that? There's no getting around the fact that feedback is encouraging. If someone wants you to write, and has told you so, you're far more likely to spend an evening writing than if you think that nobody gives a damn whether you do or don't.

Writing is very exposing, especially erotic writing. It can reveal a lot about yourself, stuff that only close friends and lovers might know. To put that *out* there and get very little response, if any, can be devastating. Like revealing part of your soul and having people say "so what?" A fanfic author I didn't actually know at all, recently wrote what I thought was a terrific story. I wrote to her and said how great it was, and she replied that she'd had very little feedback to it, and felt quite upset as it was a story she'd poured her heart into. It was a damn good story. I'm as puzzled as she was by the lack of response. She recently gave up writing fanfic.

Receiving feedback isn't a fanfic author's *right*. Some stories aren't very good, or they just don't hit your buttons, so there's no reason why people should send feedback to everything they read. However, if you do like it, send feedback. If your favourite authors don't receive it, then they might think nobody is interested in their depraved ramblings, and it takes a very determined person to continue posting in the face of indifference.

Feedback on feedback???? You know where to reach me. Or why not send some feedback to any fanfic writer whose work you love, and who you've never told? ;-)

Xanthe@xanthe.org August 1999.