General &
Dr.  Sheppard
By Xanthe






Part One:  Making History


	"So, do you have any idea why we're here?" Elizabeth whispered to
John as they both stood watching the scientists rush around Rodney's
lab with an air of barely concealed excite-ment.
	"I think it's a geek thing," John whispered back.  "Rodney said
we'd been invited to watch history being made.  He sounded pretty
pleased with himself."
	"Do we know what kind of history?  I mean...will there be loud
bangs and should we stand back?" Elizabeth asked.
	"I think that's always a wise precaution," John replied and they
both took a surreptitious couple of steps away from the general
melee.  
	"Right...I think we're ready.  Radek, are we ready?" Rodney asked,
in a tone of high oc-tane excitement.  Radek peered at the Ancient
device he was working on, which looked much like a ZPM only bigger
and less colorful, pressed a few buttons and then gave a cautious
smile.
	"We're ready!" he announced.  
	"Good.  Fine.  Great.  Yes," Rodney nodded, his fingers clicking
excitedly and his feet barely touching the ground as he hopped around
the lab.  "You two-what are you doing there?" he frowned as he
careened into John and Elizabeth.  "You can't stand there!  That's
where it's all going to happen!"
	"It is?  Then we definitely don't want to stand here," John said,
as Rodney shoved them none too gently out of the way and then bent
down to tape a large square area on the floor.
	"Okay.  Then I think we should begin," Rodney said, scrambling to
his feet when he'd finished.
	"I still think that maybe we should have checked the database again
to see if there were more clues there to how it worked," Radek said
in a worried tone.
	"Oh, for God's sake-it's quite obvious how it works!" Rodney
snapped.  
	"Well, it seems obvious, yes, but supposing it doesn't do what we
think it does?" Radek asked.  
	John turned to Elizabeth with a pained expression on his face. 
"This doesn't sound good," he murmured.  "Shall we edge closer
towards the door?"
	"Good thinking."  She moved a few feet to her left and he went with
her.
	"Well, of course it does what we think it does, Radek!" Rodney
shouted.  "What the hell do you think it's going to do?  Cook us
dinner?  It's quite clearly a transportation device."
	"Yes, yes...but to transport what-and where?" Radek asked.
	"We've been over this a thousand times," Rodney said.  "This will
completely revolution-ize the way we move around, both here and when
we're offworld.  It'll save lives!"
	"It'll save you walking as well," Radek muttered.
	"And that!"  Rodney beamed cheerfully.  "No more long treks to get
to where we want to go.  We'll be able to beam ourselves straight
there."
	"This is some kind of transportation device, then?" Elizabeth
asked.  
	Rodney rolled his eyes.  "Yes, yes-I've already said that!" he
exclaimed, seemingly having forgotten that he hadn't actually said it
to her.  He waved his hand at the Ancient ZPM-like device excitedly. 
"This, ladies and gentlemen-and Colonel Sheppard-is a mobile trans-
port device.  We can install it anywhere, on a puddle jumper, for
example, and then all we'll need is a small interface device the size
of a wrist watch-and, hey, presto-we'll be able to transport anywhere
within range of the device-and from what we can tell it's got a
pretty wide range."  He puffed his chest up proudly and gazed around
at the assembled audience.  
	"You're sure about this, Rodney?" Elizabeth asked.
	"Yes, of course I'm sure!" Rodney replied in an irascible tone.  
	"Well, I have to admit that does sound good," John said, nodding
slowly.  "We could do with that kind of facility when we go offworld."
	"It would mean that if someone got injured, for example, we could
transport them straight to the puddle jumper and then gate home.  No
need for them to endure a half-hour hike with a badly twisted ankle. 
For example," Rodney said pointedly.  
	John rolled his eyes.  "It was a ten-minute stroll and your ankle
wasn't badly twisted.  You had a stone in your shoe," he said.
	"Whatever.  With this," Rodney slapped the device and beamed
happily at him, "we won't have to walk anywhere unless we really want
to, and with your penchant for parking the puddle jumper miles from
where we want to go, that can only be a good thing."
	"Okay-so-what's going to happen?" John asked, gazing at the Head of
Science ex-pectantly.  He wasn't sure it was as exciting as Rodney
thought it was-they did already have transport facilities on both the
Daedalus and Atlantis-but he supposed this more mobile unit did at
least have practical merit and it would certainly be of use to them,
particularly in emer-gency situations.  
	"Well, I've got it set up so that when I press this button..." 
Rodney pointed.  "An object in my quarters will be transported into
this lab-into the vicinity of this taped square to be pre-cise-and
we'll be able to see it happening on this."  He pointed to his
laptop, which displayed a picture of the inside of Rodney's quarters.
"See that-that apple?" Rodney pointed at the apple sitting inside a
taped square in his quarters.  "I'm going to transport that here."
	"Well, at least you didn't decide to do the first test on a living
object," John commented.
	"I'm perfectly happy that it's safe, but yes, it was a wise
precaution," Rodney beamed.  "Okay everyone...are we ready?"
	"Don't milk it, Rodney," John said.  "Just press the button."
	"Fine.  Here goes."  Rodney punched in some sort of algorithm and
then stood back and pressed the button.  Nothing happened for a
moment, but then there was a high pitched hum and a whirring sound,
and the two noises merged at the exact same time as a massive ball of
light burst into being in front of them, twisting and spinning,
tightly confined in the exact spot where Rodney had taped his square.
	"Rodney?!" John yelled, because he was pretty sure this didn't look
or sound right.
	"It's fine...it's just a bit more...noisy than I thought it would
be," Rodney shouted over the loud whirring sound.  
	"It seems like a lot of energy just to transport an apple!" John
yelled, glancing at the lap-top showing the live footage of Rodney's
quarters-the apple was still sitting there, unmoving.
	"It's okay!" Rodney shouted, but there was a panicked look on his
face as the box began to shudder and the whirr became a squeal.  "I
can fix this!"  His hands moved at lightning speed over the keyboard
but nothing he did seemed to have any effect.  The Ancient device
shud-dered some more and then John saw a tiny spark of fire emerging
from the side of it.  
	"Get down," he yelled to Elizabeth, throwing her behind a table,
and crouching over her.  The noise got worse until it was all John
could hear and then there was a juddering sound and a belch of smoke
before it suddenly cut off completely in mid-shriek and all was quiet
once more.
	"Thank God," John muttered, getting to his feet.  "Rodney, what the
hell was...?" Then he saw the expression on Rodney's face and turned
to look at where Rodney was staring, in open-mouthed shock.  "Oh,
shit," John muttered.  
	Two men were standing within the taped area on the floor, looking
confused.  As the smoke cleared, one of them reached for his gun,
putting a hand out to thrust the other one be-hind him as he did so,
shielding him with his body.  John stared at the man with the gun in
shock, and the man stared back at him, equally shocked, because they
both could have been looking into a mirror.  The man they'd
transported into the taped square looked just like him-the likeness
was unmistakable.  His hair was slightly shorter and he wore a single
silver earring dangling from one ear.  His clothes...well, his
clothes were very different.  He was wearing a pair of black leather
pants that clung to his long legs in a way that John felt was perhaps
a little too revealing.  John's gaze was drawn to the thick black
leather belt around his waist, from which hung an assortment of
weaponry-something silver that jangled, a fearsome looking knife, and
some kind of leather strap-type weapon that John wasn't familiar
with.  He was wearing a plain black long-sleeved shirt, and over that
a black leather vest.  Around his neck was a black thong with an
intricate silver pendant on the end, engraved with two intertwined
initials-John wasn't close enough to see what they were.  Around his
wrists were two black leather cuffs with silver lacings and he was
wearing some comfortable looking black leather boots.  He
looked...kind of like a pirate.
	"What the hell just happened?" John asked, holding his own gun on
the stranger, and glancing over to Rodney.
	"I have no idea!" Rodney said, his fingers frantically scrabbling
over the keyboard.
	"Why have you brought us here?" the man in the taped square asked,
and everyone in the room looked at John and back at the man just to
check who'd said that because they both had exactly the same voice.  
	"I'm sorry-it was a mistake," John said, lowering his weapon
cautiously.  "Look...I don't know what's happened here but we didn't
mean to do this.  Rodney!" he yelled, feeling com-pletely out of his
depth.
	Rodney didn't reply-his gaze was fixed in horror on the second man
in the taped square who had stepped out from behind the first.  
	"Oh, shit-you didn't activate the QDD did you?" the second man
said, gazing at Rodney with an expression of some irritation on his
face.  
	John did a double take.  If coming face to face with the other John
had been unsettling, this was positively freaky.  The man who'd just
spoken was a doppelganger for Rodney...only... he wasn't.  He looked
just like Rodney, but, like the other John, he was dressed completely
dif-ferently.  His hair was longer and John noticed in surprise that
the extra length made the ends curl, giving his face a softer
appearance than Atlantis' Rodney.  Like the other John, he was
wearing a black leather thong around his neck with a pendant hanging
from it, but he was also wearing a slim strip of leather around his
throat as well, with a tiny silver buckle at the front.  He was
dressed in khaki cargo pants and a tight, sleeveless black tee
shirt...and, John couldn't help noticing, he looked a lot more buff
than their Rodney.  The sleeveless tee shirt revealed two toned arms,
and it had a slit at the top which revealed a fair amount of chest
hair, too.  Snaking up his forearm was a long, silver bracelet that
pointed directly at a tattoo on his upper arm.  It was unlike any
tattoo John ever seen-large and elegant, it was an interlinked J and
R, etched in black and then filled in with some kind of silver
piping.  
	"QDD?  What the hell is that?" Rodney said, taking a step towards
his doppelganger.  
	The new John immediately pointed his gun at him, stopping him in
his tracks.  "Don't touch him," he warned.  
	"What...  Hang on a moment here," John said stepping in front of
the gun and shielding Atlantis' Rodney.  "Nobody is going to touch
anybody-okay?  Now, before we get into all the science gobbledegook,
could you please stop waving that gun around?  Rodney might have
screwed up here, but we really don't want anyone shooting him.  At
least not before I get the chance," he muttered with a little grimace
over his shoulder in Rodney's direction.
	The new Rodney gave a little smirk at that, but John's eyes
remained fixed on the new John, who seemed like the kind of guy you
really didn't want to piss off.
	"Perhaps we could all cool down a little," Elizabeth said, stepping
forwards.  John heaved a sigh of relief for her diplomatic skills-he
figured his own were pretty much worn out by now and he really didn't
want anybody shooting anybody else-particularly when they looked so
much like him.
	The new John bowed his head in her direction.  "My lady," he said
in a tone of respect.  Elizabeth paused and John could see by the
expression on her face that she quite liked the title.  "My
apologies.  It's not my intention to harm anyone.  I'm just...very
confused right now."
	The new Rodney leaned against him and talked to him urgently. 
"It's all right, John.  I think what's happened is that this-idiot-
here," he cast an annoyed glance in Atlantis' Rod-ney's direction,
"just activated the Quantum Dimension Device without having a clue
how it works."  New John's hand wavered, and then he finally lowered
his gun, much to John's relief.
	"A Quantum Dimension Device?"  Atlantis' Rodney screwed up his face
and then realiza-tion flooded in.  "Oh, shit.  Are you saying...that
this thing...?"
	"I'm saying that we were in our own universe, minding our own
business, when you snapped a switch on that thing and sucked us
over," new Rodney said in an irritated tone.  "We discovered how it
worked about a year ago-without dragging a couple of hapless
bystanders across a universe to do it."
	"That can't be possible!" Rodney said, his mouth opening and
closing in a way that made him resemble a stranded fish, gasping for
air.  
	"You surely understand the principle?" new Rodney asked in a
patronizing tone.  
	"That there are at any one time an infinite number of universes co-
existing, some of them virtually identical to our own and some
completely different, yes, yes, of course," Rodney said impatiently.
	"Well, we're probably from one of the closest universes to this
one," new Rodney told him.  "And like I said, you've sucked us over
here.  Where were you aiming at?"
	"What?  Oh...my quarters."  Rodney gestured to the live footage on
the laptop which still showed the interior of Rodney's quarters,
complete with the untouched apple.
	"Well, that explains that.  We were in our quarters when the beam
went off-which is annoying because if we hadn't been, then it
wouldn't have caught us," new Rodney said.  "In-stead of aiming at
your quarters here, you picked us up in the same location in our
universe."
	"So what you're saying is, that this device...no wait...hang
on...back up a second here," Rodney said.  "You said our quarters?" 
He glanced from new Rodney to new John and back again.
	"Yes."  New John nodded and placed a hand on new Rodney's shoulder.
"Our quarters.  Why?  Does that have any bearing on how we get back?"
	Rodney's eyes flickered down to the large tattoo on new Rodney's
arm, with the inter-twined J and R on it and then his gaze shot up,
horrified, in John's direction.  John knew how he felt-he was feeling
a little freaked out himself.  
	"Okay," Elizabeth stepped in, clearly trying to ease the tension in
the room which had just shot up a distinct notch.  "Let's clear any
non-essential personnel out of here so we can sort this out."  She
waved her hand and several people slipped out of the door, all of
them casting amazed glances at each other as they went.  John
suspected that it would take all of three min-utes for news of this
to travel around the base.  "Now, first things first.  Rodney-can we
get these people back to where they belong?"
	"No," said both the Rodneys at the same time and then they glanced
at each other in irritation.
	"Not immediately, anyway," Atlantis' Rodney said.  "You saw the way
this machine re-sponded when we activated it-it's shot to pieces at
the moment and even if it wasn't, I don't know enough about the way
it works to guarantee that we could return them safely to their own
universe."
	"Perhaps you should have thought about that before you turned the
damn thing on," new Rodney muttered.
	"Well, perhaps if it had a label on it that said 'quantum sucky
thing-do not touch,' then I would have," Rodney snapped at him.  "But
we didn't know what it did."
	"That's true," Radek butted in.  "It was clear it was some kind of
transport, but there was nothing to indicate that it did anything
like this."
	"Radek?"  New Rodney's face lit up.  "Radek-you're alive!" 
	"What?  Yes, certainly, I'm very much alive," Radek said nervously,
pushing his glasses further up his face.  Then the realization hit. 
"So...in your universe, I am not?" he asked softly.
	"No.  Sorry-we lost you a year or so ago during the siege of
Atlantis," new John told him.  "I have to say that it's pretty damn
good to see you again, Radek."
	"All right-we can all compare notes on our various universes later,
but for now we need to sort a few things out.  Do you think you can
get the device working again?" Elizabeth asked, turning to the
Rodneys.  "And I mean both of you-working together?  I figure two
McKays must equal twice the brainpower."
	"Probably," both the Rodneys said together and then they glared at
each other again.  
	"It'll take time, though," Rodney warned.  
	"How much time?" Elizabeth asked.
	The Rodneys shrugged and then gazed at each other and back at the
machine.  The new Rodney glanced at the new John questioningly and
when he nodded, the new Rodney stepped out of the taped area and went
to look at the burnt out device.
	"Well, it's looking pretty busted right now," new Rodney observed,
with a scowl in Rod-ney's direction.  "So if it is repairable, it's
not going to be quick.  We could be talking weeks."  
	"Weeks?"  Rodney looked alarmed.  "Shit, I've just remembered
something-we don't have weeks!  Entropic Cascade will set in in less
than 48 hours unless we can get you out of here before then. 
Otherwise the effects will be lethal."
	"Entropic Cascade?" New Rodney frowned.  "Not with the QDD-this is
a sophisticated piece of Ancient engineering.  They designed it to be
an escape route into another universe in the event of the Wraith
taking over the city-it's got a built-in filter to nullify the
effects of EC, so we don't have that time pressure at least."
	"Oh."  Rodney actually looked as if he was disappointed by that.
	New Rodney glared at Rodney again and then went back to stand
beside new John once more.  
	"All right, if we've got a few weeks, let's work towards that,
then," Elizabeth said.  "As you're going to be our guests for a
little while, we need to arrange some facilities for you.  Now..." 
She hesitated and flushed slightly.  "I'm assuming you would prefer
to share quarters?"
	New John looked at her blankly, and his hand crept up to new
Rodney's shoulder again and stayed there, in a protective gesture. 
"Of course," he said, looking confused.  "Wait...you guys..."  he
glanced at John and Rodney.  "You're not together in this universe?"
	"No!" Both John and Rodney said together.
	"Okaaaay," new John said, exchanging a frown with his Rodney.  "So,
this is kind of weird," he muttered.  
	"Uh-hello!  Just as weird for us!" Atlantis' Rodney interjected,
holding up his hand.  "So you two are...what exactly?"  He stood
there, his arms folded across his chest, looking distinctly
unimpressed.  
	"Oh, God," John sighed.  "You had to ask?"
	New John grinned.  "Perhaps we should introduce ourselves.  I'm
General John Sheppard..."
	"General?" John frowned.  "Damn."  He wasn't sure why that annoyed
him, but somehow it did.  You can't possibly be competitive with
yourself, he told himself, but the idea that this John outranked him
niggled at him.
	"Hah-so it seems that the John in their universe has progressed a
little further up the career ladder than you, Lieutenant Colonel,"
Rodney said, stressing John's title pointedly, in a tone of malicious
glee, holding his hands behind his back and rocking back and forth on
his heels a little in enjoyment of John's discomfort.
	"And this is my husband, Dr. Rodney Sheppard," new John added,
gesturing towards his Rodney.  The look on Atlantis' Rodney's face
was so comical that John almost fell about laugh-ing there and then.
	"What?" Rodney said, glaring at the new Rodney.  "God, what the
hell is wrong with you?" he growled.  "I mean, if you have to be
married to...to...him, then what's wrong with being the Sheppard-
McKays, hmm?  Or, wait, even better, the McKay-Sheppards.  No, wait,
wait...why couldn't he be John McKay?  Why did you have to take his
name?"
	Dr. Rodney Sheppard gazed at him blankly.  "Why wouldn't I?" he
asked.  "He's my top-of course I took his name when we got married. 
Don't you people have the same cus-toms?"
	"As a matter of fact..."  John started to say, but Rodney got there
first.
	"No!" he practically shouted.  "He's what?  Did you say he was your
top?  What the hell does that mean?"
	Elizabeth made a little sound in the back of her throat and John
stifled a grimace.
	"Uh, Rodney..." he began, looking into Rodney's absolutely outraged
blue eyes.  "Uh..."  He tried to find a way to explain it
sensitively, without upsetting Rodney even more, but then re-
alization flooded into Rodney's eyes as he figured it out for
himself. 	"Oh, my God!" he breathed.  "You're, like, what...his sex
slave?"
	"No!" both General and Dr. Sheppard said in unison.  Dr. Sheppard
glanced at his hus-band and grinned.
	"He's my husband.  I'm his top," General Sheppard said slowly, as
if talking to idiots.  "You people don't seem real familiar with
these pretty basic things so I'm assuming it's done dif-ferently
here?"
	"Kind of," John said.  "Look, I'm sure we'll have plenty of time to
get to know one an-other.  In the meantime, why don't we show you to
some quarters and get you comfortable-then it's protocol that we have
Dr. Beckett look you over.  After that, if you'd like to join us in
the mess hall for something to eat?  We're really sorry for having
inconvenienced you like this and we'll do everything we can to get
you home as soon as possible."  He glared at Rodney as he said that
and Rodney glared back at him.
	"Okay...now...you're going to need some things," Elizabeth added. 
"John, Rodney-seeing as these men are the same size as you, perhaps
you could lend them a change of clothes?"
	Rodney gazed at his counterpart with an expression of distaste. 
"Well, okay...but I don't have anything like what he's wearing," he
said.
	"And I wouldn't be seen dead in what you're wearing," Dr. Sheppard
shot back at him.
	"Rodney," the general said sharply, placing a warning hand on his
husband's arm.  "I think you need to calm down a little."  He
squeezed the other man's arm and new Rodney took a deep breath and
nodded.  "We'll take what we're given-thank you.  I guess this is
going to take a little bit of getting used to," the general added. 
"For all of us."  
	"I think you're right," Elizabeth said softly.  "Perhaps you'd like
to come this way, gentle-men..."
	She put out a hand to show them the way and the general unclipped a
slim silver chain from his belt, and, to John's complete bemusement
and Rodney's barely stifled exclamation of disgust, attached it to
the slim leather collar nestled around Dr. Sheppard's throat.  Dr.
Shep-pard made a soft little noise and leaned into his husband and
then they both left the room to-gether, following on behind Elizabeth-
with Dr. Sheppard shooting another angry look in Rod-ney's direction
as they went.  
	John gazed after them, still trying to process all this. 
"So...they seem like nice guys," he said eventually, glancing at
Rodney.  "Well, if you ignore the whole leash and collar thing."  
	Rodney gave him a withering look in return, and then turned his
back on him and began studying the QDD intently, pointedly ignoring
the colonel.  
	"Okay, then," John said, turning and leaving the room.  


*                       *                       *


	Rodney delayed for as long as possible, but finally, after
Elizabeth called him and told him that giving Dr. Sheppard some of
his clothes was an order and not a request, he left the lab and went
back to his quarters.  The apple was still sitting there, in its
taped square, and he kicked it savagely with his foot.  He still
wasn't entirely sure how this had happened, and he hated being made
to look an idiot in front of all those people-and, more than anything
else, he really hated Dr. Sheppard.  
	"Stupid curly hair," he muttered, getting some clothes out of his
closet and throwing them furiously on the bed.  "See-that's why I
don't let it grow any longer.  Looks stupid like that."
He found a spare jacket and threw that onto the pile.  "I wouldn't
be seen dead in what you're wearing," he mimicked.  "I'd quite
happily see you dead," he muttered.  "You and your stupid curly hair
and that ridiculous tattoo and...excuse me...gay.  Gay and tattooed
and..."  His mind didn't even want to go to the other part, the part
with the collar and leash, the part that was frankly too kinky for
Rodney to even wrap his brain around, so he just left it there.
	He gathered up the little pile of clothes and then walked stiffly
along the hallway to the room Elizabeth had allocated to the
newcomers.
	The general let him in and gave him a grateful smile when he saw
the pile of clothes in Rodney's arms.  Rodney deposited his gift on
the bed, noticing as he did so that the colonel must have already
dropped by because there was another pile of clothes sitting there.  
	Rodney stood up and nodded to the general stiffly, before turning
to leave, but as he did so, Dr. Sheppard emerged from the bathroom.
	"Looks pretty much the same as back home," he said to the general,
before seeing Rod-ney.  "Oh.  You're here," he muttered.
	"Just dropping off the clothes you don't want to be seen dead in,"
Rodney told him.
	"I just think they'll be a little big on me, that's all," Dr.
Sheppard said pointedly.  "I'm a few pounds lighter than you.  You've
kind of let yourself go."
	"That's enough, Rodney," the general said firmly.  "New universe-
same old rules, re-member."
	Dr. Sheppard glanced at him from under his eyelashes and then
sighed.  "Okay.  I'm just ...really, really mad about this.  Imagine
how you'd feel," he told Rodney.  "One minute you're back in your
rooms hoping for a little R&R with the husband who's been offworld
for four days without you-so you have a bit of catching up to do-and
next thing you know, just as you're about to get down on your knees
and show him just how much you really missed him...you're scooped up
and thrown into a completely different universe and all because
someone was a bit careless about which Ancient devices they stuck
their fingers into."
	"Some of these things I really don't need to know," Rodney told him
stiffly, trying to ban-ish the image of his doppelganger kneeling
down in front of the general and reaching for the front of his tight
leather pants from his mind.  "I'm sorry, though," he muttered
contritely.  "I really didn't know this would happen.  I can see how
it would be...an inconvenience."
	"And what's really annoying is that if you'd just done it ten
minutes earlier, we wouldn't even have been in our quarters," the
other Rodney added.  "Just ten minutes!"
	"We're lucky really, though, Rodney," the general said softly,
putting an arm around his husband's chest and pulling him close.  His
Rodney came to rest easily against him, putting up a hand to touch
his husband's arm affectionately.
	"Hmm, how so?" he asked, glancing up at his husband.
	"Well, if Dr. McKay here had activated the device five minutes
earlier, as I recall you were standing on your own in the room right
about where we were taken.  You'd have just dis-appeared and I'd have
had no way of knowing where you'd gone-and you'd be on your own here
right now."  The muscles in his arm tightened, visibly, as he said
that and the look on the other Rodney's face actually made Rodney
feel sorry for him-his blue eyes were frankly devas-tated as he
considered that idea.  
	"Well...okay, then...pretty lucky, after all," he squeaked.
	"Like I said-I'm sorry," Rodney told them both, meaning it.  He
could imagine how re-sentful and weird he'd feel if the same thing
had happened to him.  "If there's anything else you need..."
	"There is, as a matter of fact," the general said.  "There are some
toiletries in the bath-room, but Rodney is right-I've been offworld
for four days and there are some things I really need to do to him
right now...so, would it be possible for you to supply me with some
lube?"
	Rodney gazed at him, horrified.  "What?" he spluttered at last.  
	"Lubricant?" the general said, in a surprised tone.  
	"Well, I don't know why you think I'd have any!" Rodney exclaimed,
feeling his cheeks grow hot at the very idea.
	The general frowned.  "If you don't mind me saying so, you people
seem really hung up about anything to do with relationships or sex,"
he commented.  "First you all freaked out when I said Rodney was my
husband, then you got really edgy when I said I was his top, and now
you look as if you're about to have a stroke because I've said I want
some lube so we can make love."
	"I'm not having a stroke.  My people are really, really cool with
the whole gay sex slave thing," Rodney said in a high-pitched kind of
voice.  "We know all about this stuff and we're completely fine with
it," he added.
	"Okay-firstly, not a sex slave," the other Rodney said, in a tone
of annoyance.  "Sec-ondly, I'm not surprised you don't have any lube
because it's clear as hell that nobody would want to go near you, let
alone make love to you."
	Rodney felt his temper rise uncontrollably at that.  "Well,
thirdly," he snapped back, his voice quavering as it rose an octave,
"I don't have any damn lube because I don't need any damn lube
because of being, you know, not-gay," he growled.  "I suggest you ask
Carson for some when he does your medical."
	And with that, he turned on his heel and stomped out of the room.


*                       *                       *


	Carson Beckett took a sharp intake of breath as the two newcomers
entered the infir-mary.  He'd been warned what to expect, but even
so, there was no denying that it was pretty damn weird.  These
men...they looked so very like the two men he'd been working with for
the past couple of years, and yet...the other John was holding a
silver lead that was attached to a leather collar around the other
Rodney's neck, and the other Rodney was leaning into him affec-
tionately, with a softness in his eyes that Carson didn't think he'd
ever seen in their own Rod-ney's eyes.  Their clothing was also
strange-it accentuated their bodies more, without being in any way
obscene or distasteful.  The entire tableau added up to something
completely alien while at the same time being eerily familiar and
that was precisely what made it so unsettling, Carson thought to
himself.  
	"Hey, Carson," the new John said easily, smiling at him.  
	"Uh...General Sheppard," Carson nodded his head nervously.  This
John had a different manner to their John.  He seemed very in
control, less flippant and laid back, while still having something of
their John's easy-going charm about him.
	"That's pretty formal.  Call me John," the general said with a
broad smile.  "Back in our universe, you're one of our closest
friends.  It feels weird to hear you call me General."
	"Right.  Okay.  John."  Carson nodded anxiously.  "And,
uh...Rodney."  He nodded at the other man.  
	"Carson."  The new Rodney frowned at him.  "I hope this won't take
long.  I mean, I un-derstand all the tedious protocol stuff, but, you
know, it's pretty clear who we are and where we came from, and it
isn't as if we invited ourselves-we were more or less kidnapped from
our own dimension and the sooner I get started on fixing the QDD, the
sooner we can go home.  Not that we're not having a great time
meeting you guys, but...we'd really like to leave ASAP."
	Carson found himself relaxing.  This Rodney, like their own,
clearly had a smart mouth on him and no intention of letting anyone
else get a word in edgeways.
	"Aye, Rodney, I understand that-however, I do need to do a full
physical on you both, just to make sure you don't have any kind of
communicable diseases.  I'd also like to do a DNA test to see how you
compare to our Sheppard and McKay, if that's okay with you?  This is
a re-markable event, after all, and we'd like to gather as much data
as possible."
	"Oh, God.  How long will all that take?" Rodney asked in a
resentful tone.  
	John put a hand on his arm.  "That'll be fine, Carson," he said
calmly.  "Let's get started."
	Carson nodded.  He decided to start with Rodney-the other man was
clearly fidgety and it would be a good idea to deal with him before
he started climbing the walls.  Carson had enough experience of their
own Rodney when he was in one of these moods to know how to handle
him.
	"Rodney, if you'd like to sit down here."  He put a hand on
Rodney's arm and gestured him to the bed.  Rodney stiffened and
glanced at John and Carson had the feeling that he'd just done
something very wrong.  "Uh, if that's okay?" Carson said uncertainly,
gazing from one to the other.  
	John's jaw tightened.  "That's fine," he growled.  "Just...ask me
first before you touch him, okay?"
	Carson hesitated; clearly he'd just transgressed some rule he
didn't know anything about.  Elizabeth had given him some
instructions on this subject, and he was under orders to find out
whether the new Rodney was a willing participant in this strange
relationship and that he wasn't being mistreated, but it was going to
be hard finding anything out if the general got this pissed off just
because he'd put a hand on Rodney's arm.
	"I'm sorry," Carson said softly.  "But if I'm going to examine him,
then I will need to touch him."
	"That's fine.  It's just that, in our universe, it's polite to ask
first and make your intentions clear," the general told him firmly. 
"I understand that this isn't our universe and you have differ-ent
customs, but even so, it's still a shock to us when people behave
differently.  We're not used to it."
	"Okay."  Carson took a deep breath, trying to wrap his head around
this.  "You're right, we don't know your customs.  I'm very sorry if
we do anything to offend you.  Perhaps when it happens you could just
point it out to us.  It'll be entirely innocent on our part."
	The general relaxed a little and nodded.  "All right.  Go ahead,
Doctor," he said, resting his hand on Rodney's neck and stroking him.
Rodney leaned back into the embrace, and Car-son had a weird moment,
watching them being so physically at ease with each other.
	"Doctor?" the general queried.  
	Carson shook his head.  "Sorry.  Just thinking...that if our John
did that to our Rodney, I'd have to put Rodney in restraints and
administer a strong sedative," he said with a wry grin.
	"Yeah, that man is so uptight," Rodney muttered.  "I don't know how
you guys can stand having him around."
	"Och, he's got a certain charm all of his own," Carson said,
feeling oddly defensive of their Rodney.  It was one thing for the
people on Atlantis to complain about him and tease him, but quite
another for these newcomers to say anything against him.  He was,
after all, their Rodney, and Carson suspected they were all rather
fond of the scientist, even if he could be a total pain in the arse.
	"He's rude and obnoxious," the new Rodney sniped.  
	The general's fingers closed around his husband's neck in a little
squeeze.  "He's not unlike you were when I first met you," he said.  
	"Oh, please!  That's so not true!" Rodney retorted in a voice that
sounded so like their own Rodney's that Carson couldn't help but grin.
	"I think that's probably why you don't like him," the general
added, with a grin of his own.  Rodney glared at him, and then glared
at Carson as well when he saw his grin.  
	Carson took some blood from Rodney, and then glanced warily at the
general.  "If you don't mind, John, I'd like to examine Rodney on his
own," he said.  
	"Why?  I'd prefer to be present if you're going to be touching
him," John replied.  
	"It's one of our customs," Carson told him.  "We have a thing
called doctor/patient confi-dentiality.  There might be something
Rodney wants to share with me that he'd feel uncomfort-able talking
about in front of you."
	John gazed at Carson blankly.  "Like what?" he asked, in a bemused
tone.
	"I don't know.  Anything," Carson shrugged, glancing at Rodney. 
Rodney was giving him an equally blank look.
	"I can't think of anything," Rodney said.  "What could there be
that I wouldn't want John to know about?"
	"I don't know," Carson said again, feeling that they were totally
not on the same wave-length on this, and at a loss as to how to
explain it any better than he had already.  His orders from Elizabeth
weighed on his mind as well.  She'd asked him to ensure that this new
Rodney was okay-that he wasn't some kind of slave who needed
liberating, and Carson didn't know how he could ascertain that if the
general hovered over him during his examination.  If Rodney was being
coerced into this relationship, then he wouldn't be able to talk
freely about that in the general's presence if he was afraid of the
man-although Carson had to admit that he didn't seem particularly
afraid of him.
	"I'm going to have to ask you to take this on trust," Carson said
eventually.  "Look, why don't you stand in the next room, John?  You
can leave the door open and if Rodney thinks I'm doing anything he's
uncomfortable with, he can call you."
	At least that way he'd be able to have a private conversation with
Rodney without John hearing.  The general glanced at Rodney, who
shrugged.
	"I don't mind," he said.  "If it's one of their customs."
	"Okay," John said at last.  "Just call me if you need me."  He
leaned over and deposited a firm kiss on Rodney's mouth and then
turned and left.  Carson stood there for a moment, try-ing to process
the fact that these two men, who looked so much like his own Colonel
Sheppard and Dr. McKay, had just had a deep smooch.  It was...just
plain weird.
	"Is it okay if I remove this?" Carson asked, turning back to Rodney
and touching the col-lar around his neck, lightly.  The collar didn't
look uncomfortable, but he wanted to make sure the skin underneath it
was healthy-and also to check whether Rodney was allowed to remove it.
	"Okay," Rodney shrugged.  
	Carson unbuckled it and examined it for a moment.  It was made of
very soft leather, and the inside was lined with some kind of padded
material.  It hadn't even left a mark on Rod-ney's neck so it clearly
wasn't fastened too tight, or pulled on to cause discomfort.
	"Could you take your shirt off?" Carson asked, getting out his
stethoscope.  He did want to listen to Rodney's heart, but he also
wanted to make sure the other man didn't have any marks of abuse on
his body.  
	Rodney did as he was told, stripping off with an air of impatience.
His body looked in better shape than their own Rodney's-and there was
no sign of any bruising or anything else for that matter, although
Carson didn't know what he'd been expecting or even exactly what he
was looking for.  It was just the collar and lead thing that had
thrown them all and led to Eliza-beth's concern.  
	He listened to Rodney's heart, and then took his blood pressure. 
"Impressive," he mur-mured.  Their Rodney was borderline
hypertensive, but this Rodney's heart was clearly in a more healthy
state.  "Rodney...I wanted to ask you..."  he hesitated, unsure how
to best ap-proach this difficult issue.  
	"Is my relationship with General Sheppard consensual?" Rodney
supplied for him, rolling his eyes slightly.  "Don't think I haven't
figured out just how freaked you people are by us.  That's what all
the doctor/patient confidentiality crap was all about isn't it?  And
why you wanted me to remove my collar?  Do you want to check my ass,
Carson, to make sure he doesn't rape me every night?  For God's sake!
What's wrong with you people?  He's my husband!  Why would I be with
someone who abused me?  I'm not his slave-I'm his partner.  We're
equals."
	"It's just the collar and lead thing," Carson muttered, feeling
embarrassed.  
	"What about it?  He's my top-it's like...it's like...I saw two of
your people in the hallway on the way here and they were holding
hands.  It's like that to us.  Nothing more.  I don't under-stand why
it freaks you out-where I come from it's just normal.  Nobody would
think anything of it."
	"Okay."  Carson nodded.  "I'm sorry if we've offended you.  It's
just we were concerned about your welfare, that's all."
	"I think you should be more concerned about your own welfare,"
Rodney snapped.  "You people are all so damn locked up in yourselves.
Look at you, Carson!  My Carson doesn't have that worried frown all
the time.  He'd be laughing at this if he could see it.  You people
are all stressed out all the time without even knowing it."
	"You could be right," Carson said, in a conciliatory tone.  
	"I usually am," Rodney said pointedly.  "Now, can I put my shirt
back on or was there anything else you wanted to see?"
	"No.  That's fine.  Go ahead," Carson sighed.  This really hadn't
gone very well, although at least he'd be able to report back to
Elizabeth that this Rodney was no more a victim than their own was.  
	Carson called John back in, examined him and took his blood, and
then finished up, feel-ing rather relieved.  He was intrigued by what
Rodney had said, though-it was strange thinking of another him in
another universe leading another life.  He wondered what this other
Carson was like.  Did he wander around in a collar on the end of
someone else's lead?  Could he pos-sibly be happy with that?  Carson
didn't think so.  Now Carson did at least have a better under-
standing of what their own John and Rodney must be feeling, being
confronted by such a very challenging alternate view of themselves. 
Carson made a mental note to check up on them and see how they were
both handling having their alter egos on the base.
	"Just one more thing," the general asked, rolling back his sleeve
after Carson had taken his blood.  "We need some lubricant.  I asked
Dr. McKay for some earlier, but he nearly fainted on the spot and
said I should ask you."
	"Aye, that sounds like Rodney," Carson said, with a wry smile.  "Of
course I can let you have some.  Do you need condoms as well?"
	"Why the hell would we need condoms?" Rodney snapped.  "Unless.... 
Oh, God, in this universe men can't have babies, can they?"
	"No, Rodney," Carson said, trying hard not to laugh.  "No...I was
offering the condoms for safe sex.  To avoid sexually transmitted
diseases?" he supplied when he saw that both men were still looking
blank.  
	"We're in a monogamous relationship, Doc," John told him.  "So
that's not really an issue for us.  But thanks all the same."  He
took the tube of lubricant that Carson was holding out for him.  "Oh,
and one other thing...Dr. McKay keeps calling us something...  what
was the word, Rodney?" He glanced at his husband.
	"Gay," Rodney said sourly.  "What does it mean?  Is it some kind of
insult?  I bet it is."
	Carson gazed at them for a second, desperately suppressing the urge
to laugh once more.
	"Uh, no...it's not really an insult.  It's an expression we use to
denote people of the same gender being in a sexual relationship. 
It's a kind of colloquial expression for homosexuality.  I take it
that it isn't a term you use in your universe?"
	"Nope."  John shook his head.  "Never heard of it.  Why does it
matter whether people of the same gender are in a relationship?  Is
that important here?"
	"Yes," Carson sighed.  "It's becoming more accepted, but there are
still a lot of taboos against same gender relationships.  That's
probably partly why Rodney got so freaked out when you asked him for
lubricant.  People aren't comfortable with the issue."
	"Oh, God, you people-you have everything upside down," Rodney
growled.  "You haven't figured out whether you're tops, bottoms or
switches, which-hello! -is much more im-portant than the gender of
the people you sleep with, and you scream and run a mile if anyone
mentions sex.  I have no idea how you even get through the day."
	"We do okay," Carson said defensively.  "I think we just have very
different ideas about interpersonal relationships than your people."
	"Well, obviously," Rodney muttered.  
	"One thing I was wondering..."  Carson bit on his lip, unsure
whether he wanted to know the answer to this or not.  "As we're on
the subject of relationships...uh...your Carson...is he in a
relationship back in your universe?"
	The general grinned at him.  "Yeah.  He just got married," he said,
slapping Carson's arm affectionately.  
	"Oh, aye?  Who to?"  Carson hoped his voice didn't come out like a
squeak.
	"Colonel Caldwell," John told him.  
	"What?"  Carson gazed at him, unsure whether he was horrified or
flattered.  
	"You're not with him here, then?" John asked.  
	"No...I'm single," Carson replied.
	"Well, you're very much taken in our universe.  You couldn't take
your eyes off the colo-nel from the moment the Daedalus arrived.  At
first we just thought you were really concerned for the health of the
Daedalus' crew, with all the tests you kept running  Then we realized
it was their commanding officer you were actually interested in.  You
kept it quiet for a while because you both wanted to be sure."
	"Oh, God."  Carson sat down with a bump.  "Colonel Caldwell? 
Really?" he asked, feel-ing his chest tighten.  "Oh, God," he said
again, imagining himself walking around after the tall, imposing
colonel, at the end of the other man's lead.  Now he really knew how
poor Rodney felt having these two men here on Atlantis.  It was
just...disturbing.
	"Does that mean...do I wear a collar like Rodney?" Carson asked,
tracing a hand ab-sently over his neck.  
	John roared with laughter.  "No!  Idiot!  You're the colonel's
top!" he said, slapping Car-son's arm heartily as if he'd just told a
good joke.
	"What?" Carson sat there, stunned.  "What?" he said again, blankly.
He'd found it hard imagining being on the end of Caldwell's lead, but
he found it positively impossible to imagine himself attaching a lead
to the tall colonel's collar and pulling him around.  "Are you sure?"
he frowned.
	"Of course!" John told him.  "I was best man at your wedding.  I
fastened your belt my-self."
	"My belt?" Carson spread his arms, feeling confused.  John pointed
at his own thick, black leather belt, from which dangled various
items of equipment.
	"Your belt," he repeated.  "It's our custom-the best man or woman
makes a gift of a belt to the top on their wedding day.  That's why
we say 'buckling the belt' sometimes when we refer to two people
getting married.  I take it you don't have the same expression?"
	"Uh...no...we say 'tying the knot'," Carson said weakly.
	"What knot do you tie?" Rodney asked, poking his fingers curiously
into some of the vi-als that were sitting on the table.
	"Oh...it's not a real knot.  It's more of a metaphorical knot I
think," Carson frowned.  
	John gazed at him steadily as if he thought this was another thing
that was seriously strange about Carson's universe.  "Well, ours is a
real belt," he shrugged.  "The one you gave me when you were best man
at our wedding was particularly well supplied, but then you knew
Rodney pretty well and clearly thought I needed all the help I could
get!" he laughed.
	"Supplied?" Carson asked, glancing at the belt.
	"Yeah."  John fastened his fingers into the loops on his belt. 
"Clamps, clips, leash, strap," he said, pointing at various dangling
items and finishing up with the black leather strap that hung from
it.  He glanced at Rodney, who grinned back at him.  
	"I can be a handful sometimes," Rodney said with a shrug.  
	"He beats you?" Carson asked, in a strangled tone.
	"Of course not," Rodney sighed.  "He spanks me.  Big difference."
	"He loves it!" John laughed.
	"Well, mostly I love it.  Sometimes I don't-when I'm being
punished," Rodney added, wrapping an arm around his husband's waist
and gazing up at him fondly.  "Oh, God, Carson, don't go getting that
look again!  How do you people punish each other when you screw up?"
	"We...uh...d'you mean when we screw up professionally?" Carson
asked, confused.
	"When you screw up any which way," Rodney shrugged.  "Supposing
someone stole from someone?"
	"Well...we've got a brig," Carson said uncertainly.  "And back on
Earth we have big pris-ons where we keep the people who've
transgressed the laws of our society and....  What?" he said, seeing
the look of shock on their faces.
	"You keep people locked up?  In cages?" John asked, sounding aghast.
	"Well, not cages...cells," Carson said defensively.
	"Like animals?" Rodney said, in a choked tone.  "Away from their
families and loved ones?  Away from their husbands and wives?"  He
sounded utterly horrified.
	"Aye."  Carson spread his arms.  "It's just what we do."
	"And you think we're freaky," Rodney muttered.  
	"How does it work for you, then?" Carson asked, trying to be as non-
judgmental as pos-sible as there was obviously a culture gap here
that would take quite some time and effort to bridge.
	"Well, if Rodney screwed up, I'd punish him," John shrugged.  "I'm
his top so he's my responsibility."
	"You're talking about physical punishment?"
	"Of course.  The strap isn't just for show," John said with a
shrug.  
	"And supposing you didn't punish him?" Carson asked, genuinely
curious.  "Supposing he did something-like stealing-and you refused
to punish him?  Would someone else punish him?"
	"No!"  John shook his head.  "Nobody except me can touch him.  If I
refused to punish him, then I'd be punished instead," John shrugged. 
"That's the way it works."
	"So who'd punish you?" Carson frowned.  "Rodney?"
	"No!"  Rodney and John both laughed.  
	"No-the highest status top I reported to would punish me.  It
happened not so long ago.  My Lady Elizabeth punished me."  John
glanced at Rodney, who had gone strangely still and silent, his head
hanging down.  "But we'll save that story for later," John said
softly.  "Come on, Rodney, I think it's time we went back to our
quarters and had that reunion, don't you?" 
	Rodney took a deep breath and then glanced up, with a grin. 
"Sounds good to me," he said.
	"Thanks, Doc.  We'll see you later-in the mess hall?" John asked.  
	"Aye, of course."  Carson nodded.  
	Carson watched them go, thinking what a great couple they made. 
They looked so easy together, so right.  The general had one arm
wrapped around his husband's shoulders and Rodney's arm was wrapped
around the general's waist, and they were talking in low, conspira-
torial voices, and nobody could doubt the genuine and obvious
affection they felt for each other.  At least Carson felt his mind
had been put to rest on that score.  He'd have no trouble telling
Elizabeth that although this relationship might seem strange to them,
it was entirely consensual, and where they came from, their behavior
was clearly perfectly normal.
	"Colonel Caldwell, though...."  Carson sat back in his chair,
feeling winded.  "Colonel Caldwell?!"


*                       *                       *


Part Two:  Culture Clash


	General Sheppard was relieved when he finally got his husband back
to their quarters.  It had been a long and difficult day so far and
he was glad to finally be alone with someone he didn't have to
explain himself to.
	"At least the city looks the same," Rodney was saying as they
entered the room.  "I know these aren't our quarters and we don't
have our things, but at least when we're alone we can pretend it's
our universe and not theirs.  These people are so weird.  Are any of
them even in relationships?  They all seem to be single.  Just
walking around in their polite little world with-out..."  
	John decided he'd heard enough-if you let Rodney go on, then you
could quite literally find yourself listening to him all day.  He
grabbed his husband's arm, pushed him against the wall, and kissed
him hard on the mouth.  
	"Unnnhhh," Rodney finished, melting into him in that very
satisfying way he had.  His husband's large hands slid down the back
of his leather pants and caressed his butt and John sighed and went
back in for another deep kiss.  Rodney opened up for him, his mouth
devouring John's hungrily, and John gathered him up in his arms and
held him tight.  Damn, but it had been a long time!  Four days was
too long considering how frequently they made love when they were
together.  John's cock was already rock hard and he couldn't wait to
get his husband naked and make love to him.  Rodney had his own
ideas, though, and when John released him, he sank immediately to his
knees and reached eagerly for the front of his husband's leather
pants.  John grinned, and entwined his hand in Rodney's wavy hair. 
This would do-in fact, this would do very well.  It'd take the edge
off his sexual appetite so when he did finally sink himself into
Rodney's ass, he'd be able to make love to him for a very long time.  
	Rodney opened his fly and released John's hard cock and then paused
for a moment and gazed up at his husband for permission to suck.
	"Oh, yeah-get me off, Rodney," John urged, moving so that he had
his back to the wall now and could lean against it.  Rodney didn't
need any more encouragement than that and he dipped his head and took
John's hard cock in his mouth with one expert swallow.  John sighed. 
Rodney really was extraordinarily good at giving head.  He stroked
Rodney's hair gently as Rodney deep-throated him and it wasn't long
before he was coming down Rodney's throat, and then Rodney was
cleaning him up with little laps of his tongue, before getting to his
feet with a satisfied smile on his face.
	"God I missed you," Rodney said, sighing and leaning against him in
that way he had, like a cat.  It always made John feel good to have
Rodney's solid body entwined around him, and he wrapped his arms
around his husband and sniffed his hair contentedly.  
	"Missed you, too," John breathed, reconnecting with the smell and
taste and feel of his husband.  
	"Four days without seeing you and then this had to happen," Rodney
sighed.
	"Get over it, Rodney," John told him.  "It happened-but we're both
okay.  It's not like either of us died.  I know what your problem is.
You're coiled like a spring.  In fact, when you're this uptight you
sound just like Dr. McKay."
	"Hey, I just gave you a Rodney Sheppard special blow job and now
you're insulting me?" Rodney protested.
	"It was a very nice blow job," John grinned, grabbing his husband's
head and looking deep into his eyes.  "But you are twitchy as hell,
you've gone four days without me followed by all these shenanigans,
and you need taking down."
	Rodney's blue eyes widened appealingly at that and John felt his
cock twitch again.  He might have only just come, but Rodney could
make him hard again in no time at all.  
	"Is that what you're going to do?" Rodney whispered.  "Take me down?"
	John smiled affectionately and leaned in for another gentle kiss. 
"Oh, yeah," he replied.  "Now, get your clothes off and get over to
the bed so I can take a good look at you."
	He disengaged himself and walked over to the bed, then slowly undid
his belt, knowing that Rodney was watching him, those eager eyes of
his missing nothing.  John put the belt and all the items hanging
from it on the nightstand, then removed his vest and boots before
sitting down on the bed.  Then he leaned back and gazed at Rodney.
	"So...clothes?"  John raised an eyebrow.  "I don't want to have to
rip them off you be-cause the only other things you have to wear are
what Dr. McKay brought you and somehow I don't think you're going to
look as cute in those."
	Rodney snorted at that, and quickly tugged his tee shirt over his
head.  He made short work of his boots, kicked off his pants and
socks, and then came to stand by the bed, naked.  John gazed at him
for a good long time, feasting on the sight of his husband's naked
flesh.  Dammit, but Rodney turned him on so much.  He loved the broad
chest and shoulders, the fine covering of chest hair, and the compact
hips.  But John didn't miss the tense shoulder muscles and the way
Rodney was holding his body, stiff and hunched.  Rodney was stressed
out, and John was going to make sure that he got exactly what he
needed.  His gaze rested for a long time on Rodney's swollen cock. 
He knew his husband had to be desperate to get off, but he also knew
he had to take his time and make this really work-for both of them.
	"Looks pleased to see me," John commented with a nod at Rodney's
cock.
	"Yeah, like it's never not pleased to see you, General Tightpants,"
Rodney shot back.
	"Shame it's not allowed to come, then," John told him pleasantly.  
	Rodney sighed.  "You're evil," he muttered.
	"I know."  John grinned at him.  "Now turn around-let's see that
beautiful ass of yours."  He twirled his fingers and Rodney turned,
with an insouciant swing of his hips, to reveal his butt.  John gave
a happy sigh.  He loved all of Rodney, but he had a special fondness
for his hus-band's ass.  It was just such a nice ass-round and firm
and so eminently biteable, spankable and fuckable.  
	"Mmmm...hold still," John said, grabbing Rodney around the waist
and placing a big kiss on his husband's butt.  Rodney giggled, and
John's heart positively sang at the sound.  He had-n't heard Rodney
giggle once since they'd arrived in this universe, and it was a sound
he'd missed.  He kissed Rodney's butt some more, and then sank his
teeth gently into it, just enough to leave a little mark because he
liked marking Rodney's flesh, and after four days away, all his
previous marks had faded.  He knew Rodney got off on being marked,
too, and his husband gave an excited little gurgle and glanced over
his shoulder.
	"I might have known it would only take you a few minutes to make
sure you put the Sign of John back on me," he commented.  
	John laughed.  "I hate it when there's not something of me here,"
he said, stroking Rod-ney's ass appreciatively.  "Your whole body is
like a blank canvas-and this ass of yours is a work of art of all by
itself so it doesn't need that many enhancements; a nice little bite
mark or handprint just sets off the color of your skin perfectly. 
Now come here."
	He reached out and pulled Rodney down on top of him.  He liked this-
him fully clothed, Rodney butt naked.  It felt sexy as hell.  He
kissed Rodney hard on the lips again and Rodney moaned and rubbed
against him.
	"Are you sure about the whole not coming thing?" Rodney whimpered
when John re-leased him.
	"Very sure," John said firmly.  He knew that Rodney would hold on
because he'd com-manded him to and his husband would never disobey
him on this, but he also knew that the ini-tial frustration would
only add an extra frisson to their lovemaking and Rodney would come
all the more explosively when he was allowed to.  
	"God, I hate you," Rodney sighed, kissing his way along John's
jawline and ending up at his mouth again.
	"Mmmm...yeah...I'm really getting that whole hating vibe off you
right now," John laughed, placing his hands on Rodney's butt and
squeezing.  "How long has it been since I last spanked you?" he
asked, stroking the soft skin affectionately.
	"I don't know.  A week?"  Rodney glanced at him.  
	"That would explain why you're so mouthy, then," John said.  "You
really shouldn't go more than a couple of days without being spanked."
	"Are you going to spank me first or fuck me first?" Rodney asked,
lying contentedly in his husband's arms, his naked body laid out over
John's clothed one like a feast.
	"Neither-I'm going to play with you first," John said, pushing
Rodney up onto his haunches, and then pulling him down again so that
his chest was level with John's mouth.  "First these..."  John closed
his mouth around one of Rodney's hard nipples and sucked down on it
and Rodney moaned ecstatically.  John rested his hands on Rodney's
butt as he worked, suck-ing forcefully.  Rodney loved having his
nipples played with and could take some quite rough play, but John
wasn't in the mood to do more than suck and nibble.  Rodney was
sighing, and his hands came to rest on John's shoulders.  John held
him even tighter, and gave a little teas-ing bite to one of his
nipples.  Rodney squealed and drew back.
	"As you were, Rodney," John told him, pulling him back so that he
was close again and going in for another bite.  Rodney squealed
again, wriggling in John's grasp, but he stayed where he was and let
John torment his nipples some more.  John bit down gently and then
soothed the sore nub with his warm tongue before repeating the action
and Rodney was moan-ing now, begging John to stop, for the torture to
end, but sighing in pleasure all the same.
	Finally John drew back.  "Over my knee," he said throatily,
grabbing Rodney and pulling him down over his knee.  Rodney's legs
were splayed, revealing just a pucker of asshole, pink and inviting. 
John reached for the lube, rubbed it liberally over his fingers and
then slid one deep into Rodney's waiting ass.
	"Oh, shit..."  Rodney sighed, opening up under John's questing
finger.  John kept the finger in place and then slapped Rodney's ass
with his other hand.  Rodney's buttocks gave a little wobble as they
were spanked and John loved the large pink handprint he left in his
wake.  It soon faded and John slid another finger inside Rodney, as
deep as it would go, and slapped his ass again, harder this time. 
Rodney gave a deep moan of frustration.
	"I really need to come!" he cried.
	"I know," John said soothingly.
	"Can I?" Rodney asked.
	"Nope," John replied, spanking him again.
	"I'm dying here!" Rodney complained.
	"If you come before I say you can, then you'll be sleeping on the
floor tonight with a really sore ass and not in the bed with me with
a pleasantly glowing one," John told him.  Rod-ney let out a wail of
utter sexual frustration and John grinned to himself.  This was what
he loved about Rodney-his husband was in no way stoic.  He wouldn't
hold on grimly because he'd been told to-no, he bitched, and whined,
and wriggled, and wheedled-and John loved it.  His own cock was now
hard again, but he ignored it.  This ass was too tempting a target
for his hand, and besides, he loved fucking Rodney best when his
lover had a warm butt.  He slid his fingers back and forth inside
Rodney's ass, all the time keeping up a firm rhythm with the palm of
his other hand, and slowly but surely Rodney's ass turned from a deep
creamy color to a beautiful shade of bright pink.  John's slaps were
firm but erotically so-this was a pleasure spanking and they both
knew the difference between this and a punishment spanking.  Luckily
John didn't usually have to deliver many of those.  
	Finally John slowed his pace, before stopping altogether, and
Rodney lay over his knee, moaning softly.  John noted that the
tightly bunched muscles in his shoulders were already starting to
look looser.
	"I think that's taken care of.  Now I'm gonna fuck your brains
out," John said.
	"Promises, promises," Rodney muttered.  
	John laughed.  "When do I ever not keep my promises?" he said,
pushing Rodney off his knee only to pounce on him, and kiss him
again.  Rodney lay there, naked and accepting, while John covered him
in kisses.  Then, slowly, with a grin of total sexual evil, John slid
one finger along the underside of Rodney's erect cock.  He could see
the goose pimples spring up on Rodney's flesh and the sheen of sweat
break out on his face from the effort of not coming.
	"Oh, God...evil, cruel, evil, inhuman..."  Rodney muttered.  "Hate
you, hate you, hate you..."
	"Still holding on?" John asked, moving his finger rhythmically up
and down, up and down the hard shaft.
	"Just about...no thanks to you," Rodney wailed.  "Really hate you
now."
	John grinned again and moved his hand away to pinch Rodney's
nipples tight.  
	"Ow!" Rodney cried, but John swallowed the sound with a deep kiss,
keeping his squeezing grip on Rodney's nipples throughout, loving the
sounds Rodney was making in the back of his throat and the way he was
squirming under the fierce caress.  Finally John released him and
Rodney sank back, his face now nearly the same shade as his ass.
	John decided it was time to put him out of his misery.  He'd taken
him about as far as he could go and he didn't want to push him over
the edge.  The last thing he wanted was to have the bed to himself
later this evening-Rodney would bitch all day tomorrow if he wasn't
allowed to sleep in his arms tonight and besides, John hated it when
he had to sleep without Rodney beside him.
	John pushed Rodney's legs open, got between them, and then slowly
teased his hus-band's anus with his hard cock, just dipping it a
little way in and then withdrawing.  Rodney let out a strangled moan.
	"Please...you've gotta get in me," he muttered.
	"Mmm, but it's so much fun just teasing you," John replied.  Rodney
gazed up at him, his hair disheveled and his eyes needy.  John took
pity on him, and slid his hands underneath his husband's warm
buttocks and pulled them apart.  Rodney gave a throaty growl that
became a shriek of pure pleasure as John pressed his hard cock
against his anus and then slid inside him.  Rodney's legs immediately
came up and wrapped themselves around John's back.  
	"Oh, God...that's deep...but need you deeper," Rodney said
hoarsely, gazing up at John blearily, his blue eyes dark with arousal.
	"Okay...you can come any time you like," John told him, leaning
over him, still fully clothed.
	"Oh, thank God!" Rodney cried.
	"Any time you like after I've come," John clarified.
	"Noooo!  No!  No!  No!" Rodney moaned at the caveat, banging his
head back on the pillow repeatedly in time to his protests.  "You
already came once when I sucked you so you'll be ages!"
	"I know.  I'll be a nice long time," John told him smugly.  "Just
lie back and enjoy."  He patted Rodney's face affectionately, then
grabbed his hips and began sliding in and out, with slow, leisurely
thrusts.  Rodney's body had lost most of the tension that John had
noticed ear-lier, and now he was almost completely relaxed as he lay
there, his arms akimbo on the bed, his erect cock standing out proud
from his body as John thrust into him powerfully, taking his time. 
	Rodney's entire body seemed to unravel a little more with each
inward stroke of John's cock and John smiled to himself.  It might
have been merciless to insist that Rodney couldn't come, but it was
that lack of mercy that had turned Rodney into the boneless heap of
goo cur-rently quivering under his touch.  He paused for a moment,
and leaned his fully clothed body over Rodney's naked one and
deposited a long, deep kiss on his husband's lips.  Rodney opened up
eagerly for him, kissing him back, passionately, with total abandon. 
John loved get-ting Rodney to this stage, to where he just
surrendered, completely and utterly, to whatever John wanted to do to
him.  
	John lowered his face and nuzzled at Rodney's nipples, kissing and
sucking them, and Rodney whimpered in pleasure, his hands patting at
John's back in a totally incoherent gesture of appreciation.  Finally
John pulled away again, and started thrusting once more.  He looked
down on Rodney panting and mewling beneath him and felt a wave of
total love for his husband.  Rodney looked so damn beautiful here
like this.  Thank God that beam that had brought them to this
universe hadn't separated them because John knew he'd be beside
himself with worry if that had happened.  At least they were together-
and even if they could never find a way home, they'd always have each
other.
	Rodney was smiling up at him, and John wondered if he was thinking
something similar.  Rodney's ass was milking his cock, making each
thrust even more pleasurable, and John knew he was close.  He moved
up the pace, pounding into Rodney faster and harder, until he was
coming, ejaculating his warm semen deep into Rodney's body.  He hung
there for a moment, gasping and blinking as his orgasm continued for
what felt like a very long and intensely pleas-urable time, and then
moved his hand to take firm hold of Rodney's cock.
	"I'm done, Rodney," he muttered.  "So you can come-any time you
want."  He slid his hand up and down Rodney's hard shaft a couple of
times, but that was all it took and then Rod-ney was coming over his
hand and over his own naked stomach, with a cry of absolute sexual
pleasure.  
	John grinned, and rolled over, wanting to avoid getting splattered
while he was still dressed.  He removed his clothes and then got back
into bed and took Rodney in his arms.  Rodney nestled against him, in
that way he had, melting against John's body, and they lay there for
a long time.  Every so often, John moved his face and kissed Rodney's
hair, or forehead, or lips, and Rodney would reciprocate by stroking
John's bottom with those big, clever hands of his.  
	"What were you thinking, earlier?" John asked.  "When you smiled at
me?"
	"I was wondering why I'd been getting so pissed off with Dr. McKay
for bringing us here," Rodney replied.  "No, this isn't our universe
and we don't belong here-but when you were look-ing down on me just
then, as you made love to me, I just kind of figured that none of
that mat-ters because wherever you are is home."
	John didn't have a reply for that.  He just gathered Rodney up in
his arms and kissed him deeply on the lips for a very, very long time.


*                       *                       *


	Rodney McKay tried turning on the QDD for the 25th time and for the
25th time in a row got a faint flicker of light followed by a noise
that sounded like a depressed parrot wailing down a well and then the
light disappeared, the noise ended abruptly, and the QDD went black
and dead-again.
	"Oh, God."  Rodney sat down and buried his head in his arms.  He'd
been working on the device non-stop ever since the accident that had
transported their doppelgangers into their universe, apart from his
brief sojourn to give the newcomers clothes.  Carson had dropped by a
couple of times, but had left fairly soon once Rodney started
snapping at him.  Even Radek had eventually had enough of his foul
mood and had disappeared somewhere, but Rodney couldn't stop working.
If he could have gotten the device working by sheer force of will
alone, then he would have, but in his heart he knew that the other
Rodney's prognosis that it might take weeks was probably correct-and
he couldn't stand the thought of it.  Weeks!  Weeks of having to put
up with his irritating alter ego and his freaky relationship with the
doppelganger John.  It made Rodney's palms sweat and itch just
thinking about it.
	"Hey," a voice said, and Rodney stiffened.  Oh, no.  Not now.  This
was the last thing he needed.  
	"You're still working on this?  It's been hours.  I thought Dr.
Sheppard said it would take weeks to fix.  So it doesn't matter how
many all-nighters you pull, Rodney, those guys are still going to be
hanging around here for a while."
	Rodney got up without saying a word, and then, completely ignoring
Sheppard, picked up some tools and headed back to the QDD.
	"Rodney?" Sheppard sounded bemused behind him.  "Look, I know you
screwed up and you're feeling responsible for this, but it's not a
total disaster.  Well, it's a small disaster, but not on the Arcturus
scale, for example.  No solar systems got wiped out."  
	Rodney could imagine the colonel had a stupid grin on his face when
he said that and that just annoyed him even more.  "Hello-ignoring
you right now!" he snapped, holding up a hand.
	"Ignoring me?  Why?" Sheppard asked, sounding genuinely puzzled.  
	Rodney turned around, feeling utterly exasperated.  Was the man
completely clueless?  "Are we on the same page here?" he exploded. 
"Those two men are....  The other Rodney is....  Don't tell me you're
not seriously freaked out by their relationship!"
	"Well...maybe a bit," Sheppard acknowledged.  "That's partly why
I'm here.  Look, don't freeze me out, McKay.  You're the only other
person around here who understands how weird all this is."
	Rodney gazed at him for a moment.  He had a point.  Nobody else had
a clue-not even Carson, for all his bustling attempts to be
sympathetic earlier.
	"You're right.  I'm sorry.  I'm just...finding this really hard to
handle," Rodney said miser-ably, putting his tools down.  "They look
just like us, Colonel!  I mean-nobody should have to know what they
look like from behind, or that their hair does that stupid thing at
the back, or how they sound when they're talking too fast."
	"But they're not us, Rodney-they're them.  I guess it's kind of
like having a twin brother or something," Sheppard told him.
	"A gay twin brother who wears a collar and gets off on being pulled
around on the end of a leash by his scary boyfriend," Rodney groused,
sitting down again with a sigh, feeling utterly bone weary.
	"You thought the general was scary?  I thought he was kind of
cool," Sheppard said, sit-ting down beside him.  
	"Yeah-and that's another thing.  You get the cool doppelganger
while I get the irritating one," Rodney replied.  
	Sheppard turned and gazed at him steadily.  
	"Oh, don't even say it!" Rodney snapped.
	"Say what?" Sheppard said, spreading his arms.  
	"That they're just like us.  That your doppelganger is cool and
mine is irritating because you're cool and I'm irritating," Rodney
muttered.
	"I wasn't going to say that," Sheppard said, although Rodney
thought he detected a trace of smugness in his expression.  "What I
was going to say, Rodney," Sheppard said quietly, "is that this whole
thing is strange.  Not them, per se, but the fact that this means
that there really are an infinite number of different versions of me
living out their lives in various different uni-verses.  I mean when
you think of the scale of it...it's mind blowing.  And also...kind of
humbling.  I always used to think I was unique, but now...well, I
guess I'm not."
	"You're still unique in this universe," Rodney told him.  "We were
never supposed to meet our alternate selves-the fabric of space/time
isn't constructed that way."
	"Yet the Ancients built the QDD and made it possible," the colonel
pointed out.
	"Yes, but...maybe they never got it to work properly."  Rodney bit
on his lip.
	"Rodney?"  Sheppard was looking at him intently, and Rodney
examined his hands in some detail.  "Rodney?" Sheppard asked again.
	"I don't know!" Rodney said finally.  "I'm just saying-maybe the
drawback is always that you can't send people back.  Maybe we can fix
it and maybe it'll work, but even if it does-we don't have a clue how
to focus it, or make it do what we want it to.  We might get it
working, but that's no guarantee we'll be able to send them back. 
Maybe we'll just suck more people over here.  Or maybe we won't even
get it working and we'll be stuck with these guys forever and I
seriously don't think I could stand that.  I'd have to ask for a
transfer back to Earth."
	"It won't come to that," Sheppard said firmly.  "Rodney, you have
to give these guys a chance.  Yes, I know there are some...cultural
differences, but none of that is a reflection on you.  Their
preferences aren't yours.  Their relationship doesn't say anything
about you."
	It all seemed so reasonable.  Rodney glanced up, miserably, and
looked into Sheppard's hazel eyes.  They seemed sincere-he didn't
appear to be laughing at Rodney.
	"I just...  You know, the rest of the base is going to be having a
party with this," Rodney muttered wearily.  "They'll be laughing at
me."
	"Hey-you're not the guy whose alter ego wears the tight black
leather pants," Sheppard grinned.  "If they'll be laughing at anyone,
it's me, but, seriously, I don't think they will.  Now look, I said
we'd meet them in the mess hall around seven.  Why don't you come
along?"
	"I'm not finished here," Rodney said quickly.
	"Yes, you are," Sheppard told him firmly.  "How long since you ate
something, Rodney?  You've been locked up in here avoiding everyone
since this happened.  You can't stay here for-ever and you can't
skulk around hoping to avoid two men who are on the same base. 
You're going to have to work with Dr. Sheppard-so you might as well
at least try to get to know the guy so you can have some kind of a
professional rapport with him."
	"Dr. Sheppard-  I mean, just the name..."  Rodney shook his head in
disgust.  "And he's so arrogant!"
	"Yeah, well...that seems to come with the face," the colonel said,
getting to his feet.  
	"Hah!  I am not that arrogant!" Rodney protested.
	"Sure you are," Sheppard replied.  "If the situations were reversed
and he'd sucked you into his universe, then you'd be the one making
the digs at him-and of course you both know exactly which buttons to
press to really wind each other up."
	Rodney had to acknowledge that there was some truth in that.  He
got to his feet, reluc-tantly.
	"Come on," Sheppard said, gesturing with his head in the direction
of the door.  "It won't be so bad."
	Rodney sighed and allowed himself to be persuaded, much against his
better judgment.


*                       *                       *


	The mess hall was crowded when they got there and Rodney seriously
suspected that was because everyone wanted to gawk at the newcomers. 
There was certainly a little crowd around them; Elizabeth, Carson,
Ronon, Teyla-even Radek and Major Lorne were gathered around where
the two men were sitting.  Rodney grabbed some food and then followed
Sheppard, frowning at everyone who so much as dared to glance in his
general direction.
	Rodney dumped his tray on the table and sat down beside Sheppard,
grateful at least that he had some moral support in the situation. 
He noticed that the other Rodney had changed into one of his tee
shirts-and it pained him ever so slightly to see that it hung a
little more loosely on his doppelganger than it did on him.  He also
noticed that both men had slightly wet hair and he closed his eyes
and took a deep breath, trying hard to banish the mental image of the
two of them sharing a shower together.  
	"I was just saying," Carson told Rodney and Sheppard, "that the
results of the DNA test were startling.  These two men have identical
DNA to you two.  There isn't even the slightest variation.  You are,
to all intents and purposes, exactly the same people."
	"Except for them being, you know, them and not us," Rodney said
pointedly.  "With their customs and ways and freaky lifestyles and
not our more sensible arrangements."  He glared at the other Rodney,
who just grinned at him in return.  Rodney frowned.  This was
different.
	"Well, obviously they've had different life experiences and come
from a very differently ordered universe, but on a genetic level
there is no difference," Carson pressed.  This didn't help the way
Rodney was feeling.  If these men were the same as them, then how did
that ex-plain the difference in their sexual preferences?  Rodney
took a large mouthful of food and tried to let the conversation wash
over him.  
	"I'm sorry-we should let our guests get something to eat,"
Elizabeth said.  "We got so engrossed in conversation that we got a
little sidetracked."
	"Great.  I'm starving," the other Rodney said, his eyes lighting
up.  He glanced at the general, who nodded to him, and even that
irritated Rodney.  Did the other Rodney have to get permission for
everything?  It was so demeaning!  The other Rodney got to his feet
and then paused, and looked at him.  "So, Dr. McKay-any news on the
QDD?" he asked, in a more pleasant tone of voice than Rodney had
heard from him all day.
	"It's still not working," Rodney told him grumpily between
mouthfuls of food.
	"I'll report to the lab first thing tomorrow-see what we can do
with it," the other Rodney said, turning and almost scampering over
to the food trays.
	"Yes, because once we have your shining intellect in the lab, I'm
sure it'll be fixed in the blink of an eye," Rodney muttered into his
dinner.  
	"Rodney.  Play nice," Sheppard whispered to him.  "I think he's
trying to be friendly."
	"How can you tell?" Rodney countered under his breath.  Sheppard
just glared at him.
	The other Rodney returned to the table with an enormous plateful of
food and Rodney scowled at him.
	"Seriously-even I've never been that hungry," he commented.
	"It's for both of us," the general said calmly.  "Rodney always
gets my food for me."
	"Oh, God, no," Rodney groaned, as the other Rodney sat down beside
the general.  The two men looked very relaxed and at home.  They
seemed more at ease now than they had been earlier, and Rodney
flushed deeply when he realized the probable reason why.  He really
didn't want any more of these explicit mental images taking up space
in his head so he shoveled an-other large portion of food into his
mouth and chewed on it glumly, trying to concentrate on any-thing
other than the idea of these two men having sex with each other.  
	The general started cutting up some food, took a bite, and then
offered a forkful to his husband.  The other Rodney took it with a
smile at his husband and then the general started making conversation
as if all this was a totally normal way of behaving.  Rodney
swallowed down his own mouthful of food with difficulty, his mouth
suddenly having gone dry.
	"So, we were talking to Carson earlier about our different
customs," the general said.  "And..."  he glanced around the table
speculatively, "judging by the way you're looking at us right now,
I'm figuring that we're doing something you don't normally do."
	"You could say that," Rodney snapped.  "Normally we feed ourselves.
We don't need someone else to do it for us.  We're all grown men, not
babies."
	"It's just our way," the general said, flashing an easy and utterly
disarming smile in his direction.  He gave his husband another
forkful of food and then rested his hand gently on the back of the
other Rodney's neck and stroked the ends of his wet curly hair
affectionately.  Rod-ney didn't know where to look.  It was just
so...embarrassing somehow.  He noticed that he wasn't the only one
freaked out by the blatant displays of affection between the two men.
Major Lorne looked as if someone had slapped him on the face while
Elizabeth had her best diplo-mat's face on-the one she wore when she
was trying to be friendly and non-judgmental even when she was
seriously freaked out.  Others seemed less bothered by it-Ronon was
mainly only interested in his food, and Teyla had that benign look on
her face that came from having met a lot of people from a lot of
different cultures and being familiar with and unfazed by their
different customs.  Radek also seemed to have adapted relatively
quickly and was more inter-ested in finding out about what had
happened to him in the newcomers' universe.
	"It was during the siege of Atlantis," the general told him,
shaking his head.  "God, it feels weird to be talking to you again,
Radek.  Weird and totally fantastic, of course.  To be able to see
and talk to someone who has died, it's...well, it's wonderful."  He
gave a wide and genu-ine smile, looking utterly delighted.  "Anyway,
during the siege, you and Rodney and Lewis went to an Ancient
orbiting weapons platform and tried to get it working so you could
take out some of the hive ships.  You got trapped onboard and were
killed when it was destroyed.  Rodney was really cut up about that
when he got back.  He missed you in the lab-hell, we all missed you,
Radek."  He beamed at Radek fondly.
	"We had that siege, too-about a year ago?" Sheppard said, nodding
slowly.  "So the events in our universes are similar, but not quite
the same?"
	"It would seem so," Elizabeth mused.  "We lost Peter Grodin in the
way you describe-not Radek."
	"Peter?"  The other Rodney glanced at her and then at the general. 
"Our Peter is still very much alive."  He looked at Elizabeth and bit
on his lip.  "I'm sorry, Elizabeth," he said to her.  
	Elizabeth looked confused.  "Why are you sorry for me?" 
	"Well, in our universe, you and Peter were in a relationship."  The
other Rodney shrugged.  "I can imagine how devastated our Elizabeth
would be if she lost Peter.  He's totally her right hand man and she
relies on him."
	"Really?"  Elizabeth looked stunned.  "Peter?  Me and Peter Grodin?"
	"They got together after the siege," the general told her. 
"Obviously that never hap-pened here if Peter died."
	"And also there's the fact that you people don't seem to have sex,"
the other Rodney added.  "So you probably wouldn't have gotten
together, anyway."  
	"Rodney," the general murmured in a low, reproving tone, and that
hand he had on his Rodney's neck squeezed warningly.  
	"Well, that's an interesting observation," Elizabeth said, looking
uncomfortable.
	"And there, see-every time sex is mentioned, you all go very tense
and weird," the other Rodney added, munching heartily on a mouthful
of food.
	"Did you actually want to go to bed hungry?" the general growled at
him.  "Because right now I'm not feeling inclined to give you any
more food."  
	Rodney stiffened-the general got to decide what and how much the
other Rodney got to eat?  That was such a horrible thought that he
jammed some of his own meal hurriedly into his mouth almost as a
reflex action against the notion of it being forcibly taken away from
him.
	"I'm sorry."  The other Rodney nuzzled against his husband
apologetically.  "I honestly didn't mean that to be insulting.  I
just find it curious, that's all.  I mean, are you people all  
single?"
	The Atlanteans exchanged glances.  
	"Well, I guess we are, yes," Elizabeth replied.  
	"Which would explain the level of stress on this base," the other
Rodney commented.  "I mean, all that sexual tension!"
	"We're not stressed.  We're here to do a job, not spend our lives
rutting like rabbits!" Rodney snapped, unable to bear it.
	"No, you don't seem remotely stressed to me," the other Rodney told
him calmly with an ironically raised eyebrow.
	"We're getting the impression that your society is a bit more open
about sexual relation-ships than ours," Elizabeth interjected
smoothly.  
	"So-you've been fighting the Wraith, just as we have," Ronon cut
in, in that deep, gruff voice of his, clearly uninterested in all the
talk about relationships.  "Have you found a way of defeating them
yet?"
	"Unfortunately, no," the general replied with a sigh.  "I was
wondering if you'd come up with any more effective ways of fighting
them than we have.  Maybe we could swap notes?"
	"I'd be glad to show you our military reports," Sheppard told him. 
"If there is any knowl-edge we could pool, then it would benefit us
both.  Perhaps we could go through them tomorrow morning?"
	"Good.  Yes.  Thank you, Colonel."  The general nodded thoughtfully
and Sheppard looked kind of proud and pleased with himself.  Rodney
could understand that-there was something about General Sheppard; he
just made you want to impress him, to be noticed by him, to get a nod
of approval from him.  He was so effortlessly cool.
	"I was wondering-you two seem to have a complex hierarchy when it
comes to chains of command and law and order," Carson mused.  "Is
your entire universe like that?"
	"Complex?  I don't know about that," the general said.  "Your
society seems way more complex to me.  Ours is relatively
straightforward.  Once you've figured out your power dynamic and
preference, it's relatively easy to fit into our society.  Of course,
figuring it out isn't always easy.  God knows I had my difficult
teenage years when I didn't know what I was or what I wanted and I
got into a lot of trouble while I figured it out, but eventually you
grow into yourself somehow."  He glanced at his Rodney and grinned. 
"Even Rodney figured it out eventually."
	"Yeah.  With some help from you," the other Rodney said, smiling
fondly back at his husband.  "Before he came along, I was a basket
case.  Totally screwed up."
	"And that's different to what you're like now how?" Rodney raised
an eyebrow of his own back at his nemesis.  
	The other Rodney refused to rise to the bait, though.  He
just...giggled.  There was no other word for it.  He giggled.  His
face creased up, and he made a little gurgling sound at the back of
his throat.  All the Atlanteans around the table gazed at him,
surprise etched on their faces at such a very un-Rodneylike sound
emerging from the other Rodney's mouth.  The gen-eral grinned, and
tickled his Rodney's neck affectionately, then leaned over and kissed
his ear.  
	Rodney wished the earth would open and swallow him whole.  Did they
really need to be so overt about their relationship?  There was just
no way you could ignore the fact that these two men were besotted
with each other and that made Rodney glance sideways at Sheppard,
only to find that Sheppard was glancing uneasily back at him, and
they both exchanged discom-forted looks.  
	"It's completely different," the other Rodney said eventually,
still giggling a little.  Rodney noticed that the giggle appeared to
be infectious as Elizabeth, Carson and Radek were all grin-ning away
madly as well.  "Before I met John, I couldn't figure myself out at
all.  Tried to top, tried to bottom, tried to switch.  Nothing seemed
to work for me.  The thing was, I never met a top who was smart
enough to handle me until John came along and I knew it.  I ran rings
around them all.  But, John-well, John had me all figured out in that
quiet way of his and before I knew it...."  The other Rodney shrugged
and slapped his hand down hard on the table, making Rodney jump. 
"Bam.  He had me over his knee and eating out of his hand.  Literally-
in both cases."
	"Oh, God.  That's way too much information," Rodney growled,
struggling to suppress another one of those irritatingly persistent
mental images.
	"I think it's interesting," Elizabeth said brightly, in a slightly
forced tone.  "Carson was saying that your whole society is
structured around these power relationships?"
	"Yes, we got a bit freaked out earlier when he told us you punish
people in your society by locking them away.  We find that a bit
barbaric, to be honest," the general said.
	"But your society uses physical chastisement-we find that equally
barbaric," Elizabeth replied, looking a little stung.  
	The general shrugged.  "I suppose it's a matter of perspective," he
said.  "Our way at least keeps people in their homes and jobs, while
at the same time ensuring they do receive a penalty for any
wrongdoing.  It's not perfect, but it works for us."
	"So what happens-you get to punish Dr. Sheppard when he does
something wrong?" the colonel asked.  
	Rodney clenched his fists tightly around his cutlery and thrust
another large forkful of food into his mouth and began chewing
savagely on it, more as a way of distracting himself than because he
was actually hungry.
	"Yeah."  The general nodded.  "I've given him a few pretty hard
spankings when he's been out of line."
	Rodney spat out the mouthful of food he was eating, much to
everyone's general amusement.  "I sincerely hope this isn't giving
anyone around here any ideas," he spluttered.
	Elizabeth grinned at him and patted one of his hands
affectionately.  "Don't worry, Rod-ney," she said with a little
laugh.  "Nobody is going to spank you."
	"Although we've all had our moments of wishing we could," Carson
muttered.  
	Rodney glared at him.  "You're supposed to be a doctor and against
harming people on principle," he said stiffly.
	"I'm just saying, it seems to work okay for these nice people,"
Carson teased, with a wide grin.
	"It's all just...completely crazy," Rodney growled.  
	"It's how our universe works.  Always has," the general shrugged. 
"I don't actually un-derstand how your universe works.  You must need
so many rules to govern all your interac-tions.  Things are much
simpler where we come from."
	At that moment, Colonel Caldwell came over to their table, bearing
a tray of food.  
	"Excuse me-can I join you?" he asked politely, his eyes flickering
over the new John and Rodney with a look of fascination.  
	Rodney sighed.  He guessed there wasn't anybody who didn't know
about the newcom-ers by now.  He suspected that total strangers could
gate in from the furthest reaches of the Pegasus galaxy and know
about it within 30 seconds of arriving.
	"Of course, Colonel!  Good to see you!" the general said.  "I was
wondering when you were going to show up."
	"Uh...I have a meeting...with some other people...back in the...my
place...you know...the, uh, infirmary," Carson said hurriedly.  
	Rodney frowned at him, wondering what the hell his problem was, but
Carson was so eager to be gone that he almost knocked over his chair
as he scrambled out of the mess hall.
	Rodney decided he didn't want to stay for much longer, either. 
Despite what Colonel Sheppard had said about not pulling an all-
nighter, he knew that was exactly what he was going to do.  There was
no way he was going to allow his doppelganger into his lab tomorrow
without having a much better handle on what exactly was wrong with
the QDD and how to fix it.  


*                       *                       *


Part Three:  Awakenings


	Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard arrived at his desk a couple of
hours early the next day, anxious to have time to prepare for his
meeting with the general.  He wasn't sure why he was feeling so
apprehensive, but he did know that there was something about the idea
of spending a few hours in the company of his alter ego that both
unnerved and excited him.  The truth was, and John was barely able to
admit this even to himself, but General Sheppard was exactly the kind
of man he'd once wanted to be.  He didn't know when he'd lost touch
with that ambition, or why, but seeing the general striding around
Atlantis, so sure of himself and his place in the universe, whichever
universe he happened to be in, had brought some uncomfort-able
emotions to the surface for John.  It was hard to put his finger on
it exactly-he just knew that he didn't want the general to find him
disappointing.  He wondered if everyone felt like that around the man
or whether it was just him because they shared the same face and
name.  Did people look at him like they looked at the general?, John
wondered.  Did they strive to impress him and do their best to get a
word of praise from him the way he wanted praise from the gen-eral? 
Somehow he doubted it.  He knew his people liked and respected him,
but he also knew that he wasn't in the same league as General
Sheppard and he wondered why.  What had hap-pened in the general's
life that had rendered him so at ease with himself?  He looked like
the kind of man who'd never made a wrong decision, and even though
John doubted that could be entirely true, he envied him the
appearance of it all the same.
	John disliked paperwork.  He got it done, but he was rarely up to
date with it so most of his files were a mess-except the ones on the
Wraith.  Protecting his people motivated John far more than filing
equipment inventories, drawing up staffing rotas and conducting
personnel ap-praisals.  He was relieved that at least he'd be able to
show the general a clean set of military reports, neatly filed and up
to date; he just prayed the general wouldn't ask to see anything else
and even that surprised him a little.  Since when had Lieutenant
Colonel John Sheppard cared what anyone thought of him?  
	John spent a couple of hours making his office and his files as
respectable as possible, and had them in some kind of shape by the
time the general knocked on his door.  John called him in and then
paused, finding himself seriously fazed because the general was
wearing his uniform.  His identical uniform.  The leather pants,
tight tee shirt and vest were gone.  He'd still retained those little
quirks that were presumably customary in his universe-the pendant
around his neck, the silver earring dangling from his ear and the
impressive black leather belt around his waist from which hung an
assortment of different objects-but apart from that, there was no
difference.  
	"Can I come in?"  The general paused in the doorway, looking at
John with a quizzical expression on his face.
	"Uh...yeah...I...  Sorry.  Damn, but you look just like me," John
said, with a little laugh.
	The general grinned.  "It's the clothes.  Thanks for them, by the
way.  They fit just fine and it's good to have something clean to put
on.  I even managed to persuade Rodney to wear those pants of Dr.
McKay's this morning."
	"Ah.  I'm guessing that wasn't easy," John grinned.
	"An understatement," the general grinned back.  "In the end, I
resorted to taking his own clothes down to the laundry while he was
in the shower so he had no choice."
	"I'm surprised I didn't hear the yell of protest all the way from
here when he found out about that," John chuckled.  
	The general laughed.  "Yeah.  He wasn't happy," he said, shaking
his head.  
	"Uh...now, perhaps I'm not understanding the rules of your society,
but couldn't you have just ordered him to wear them?" John said
carefully.  He was intrigued by the way things worked in this
alternate universe.  Everything about it seemed strange to him, and
from what the gen-eral had said, he found everything equally strange
about John's universe.
	"Ah, well, yes, I could," the general nodded.  "But I prefer to
save that kind of thing for when it's really important.  There are
ways to make things happen without throwing your weight around.  At
the end of the day, he knows that what I say goes, but there's no
point making every single minor issue a battle of wills.  It'd be
exhausting, apart from anything else, and also...I love him.  I don't
want to squash him."
	John nodded, completely not understanding.  Maybe this was just
another example of how the general seemed to be so effortlessly at
ease with his own authority.  He didn't have to assert himself
unnecessarily because he was so sure of himself.
	"Would you like some coffee?" John offered.
	"Yeah, black, one..."
	"One sugar, I got it," John grinned.  "I figure we both like our
coffee the same way."  He handed the general a coffee and the other
man took it, grinning back at him.
	"You figured right, then."
	"Anyway, I flicked through some of the mission reports and pulled
out the ones that seemed most relevant," John said, gesturing to the
general to sit in the chair beside him.  "It'll be interesting to see
how many things happened the same way in our different universes. 
Perhaps we could compare notes.  You might have done something
different to us that worked better than what we did, or vice versa."
	"Sure."  The general nodded slowly, taking a bunch of files and
leaning back in his chair.  
	John leaned back in his own chair and then they both,
simultaneously, swung their long legs up onto the desk.  Then, taken
aback at the mirroring, they glanced at each other and laughed.
	"Damn, but this is weird," John said.  "I told Rodney it was kind
of like having a twin brother, but it's still weird to acquire one as
an adult."
	"Damn weird.  We even have the same mannerisms," the general said. 
"I'm glad to hear you spoke to Dr. McKay about this situation we're
in," he added thoughtfully.  John raised an inquisitive eyebrow.  "I
understand that you and he are not together in this universe, and Dr.
Beckett was kind enough to explain that your people have some taboos
about same gender re-lationships, so I completely appreciate that
things are very different for you, but...."  He broke off with a
shrug.  "It's just sad to see him like this, that's all."
	"Like what?" John asked, frowning.
	"Alone.  Lonely."  
	"Oh, Rodney's fine."  John waved his hand around airily.  "Yeah, he
can be snippy, but he's like that with everyone.  That's just him."
	"No.  It isn't," the general said.  "He's like that because he's
lonely.  I know because that's what my husband was like when I first
met him."  
	"Your Rodney is still pretty snippy," John pointed out, feeling a
little stung.  
	"Only with your Rodney," the general replied sharply.  "And I think
that's because he really hates being reminded what he was like.  And
of course he's also pretty stressed out about our current situation,
but I think I've taken care of that and he's calmed down now.  Your
Rodney doesn't have anyone to look out for him, though-there's nobody
to calm him down."
	"Oh, there's nothing wrong with Rodney!" John replied, more
forcefully than he'd in-tended.  "He's not lonely.  He's just a
workaholic who never gets laid and exists in a state of more or less
permanent high stress.  That's the way he likes it.  Well, apart from
the not getting laid thing probably, but he's fine.  You make it
sound like he's about to have a nervous break-down or something."
	"No...nothing like that.  I just wish he was happy," the general
said softly.  "Tell me, Col-onel-John-it seems so weird to me that
you and I would look so alike, and have the same mannerisms even down
to the way we like to put our feet up on the desk when we're reading-
and yet we seem to have very different feelings.  Can you honestly
tell me that you've never thought about Rodney as a potential-"
	"No!" John interrupted firmly, feeling himself flush.
	"You have to have noticed how incredibly cute he is.  The bright
blue eyes, the attitude, the intelligence and, of course, that great
ass."  The general grinned.  
	John swallowed hard.  In all honesty, he had noticed all those
things about Rodney, but never in a focused way.  He didn't spend his
time sitting around thinking about it, but there were times when he'd
looked-and then looked away again, dismissing the thought as idle
sexual speculation, not something to be taken seriously.  This was
Rodney they were talking about, after all, and although John had had
plenty of sexual experiences with other men, he'd never had a
relationship with one.  It was too much hassle and had never been
worth it in terms of his career, apart from anything else.  He liked
women, too, and that was a much easier path to go down.  Was that
just society's conditioning?, John wondered.  Because the general's
people seemed to be comfortably bisexual.  
	"So you have noticed," the general murmured, those hazel eyes of
his missing nothing.
	"Yes.  Okay.  I've noticed," John replied in a strangled tone,
wishing fervently that they weren't having this conversation.  "But
this is Rodney we're talking about here.  I'd never go there.  He'd
probably shoot me with my own gun if I even tried.  Trust me, we're
not as alike as you think, General.  Rodney is seriously
uncomfortable with the relationship you and Dr. Shep-pard have.  It's
not something he wants in his own life."
	"Maybe he's uncomfortable because it is," the general said softly.
	"No."  John shook his head.  "Really.  No.  There is simply no way
that's what's going on in Rodney's brain right now.  Mainly, what's
going on in Rodney's brain is that he's really pissed off that he
fucked up and brought you here and he really wants to send you back
to where you came from ASAP.  There's not a whole lot else going on."
	"You know him pretty well, then?"  The general smiled.
	"Rodney's an open book," John said with a shrug, taking a sip of
coffee.  "You can pretty much tell everything he's thinking by
looking in his eyes...although that's less helpful than it seems,
because mostly what he's thinking about is food!"  He grinned.
	"Oh, yeah.  Ain't that the truth."  The general grinned back at
him.  "Or sex, of course," he added, and grinned again when John
choked on his coffee at that.
	"So, back to business," John said in a bright tone when he'd
recovered.  "Mission re-ports."
	They worked for a couple of hours, comparing notes as the general
read through the re-ports.
	"So in your universe you found a ZPM on Dagan.  We searched there,
but didn't find anything."  The general shook his head.  
	"Ah, yeah, that was the Indiana Jones mission," John grinned.  "Not
that finding it did us any good because we didn't get to keep it."
	"Of course, your Rodney had the incentive of Acastus Kolya holding
you hostage to help motivate him," the general muttered grimly.  
	"Kolya didn't show up in your universe?" John asked.  He'd often
thought how much eas-ier that mission would have been without Kolya,
but the general was telling him they'd never even have found the ZPM
if Kolya hadn't come along and given Rodney an incentive to be more
brilliant than usual.
	"No, Kolya didn't show up in my universe because Kolya was dead,"
the general said grimly.  "I killed him myself."
	"You killed him?"  John turned, startled.  The general had gone
very still, and his body was taut.  "When?  Why?" John asked.  
	"Why?" the general said, in a surprised tone, as if it was obvious.
"He touched Rodney," he growled.  "During the big storm-he took a
knife to Rodney's arm and scarred him for life with his mark.  He put
his mark on my husband.  He hit him, held him prisoner away from me,
and he hurt him."  The general looked absolutely outraged and John
was unprepared for the other man's vehemence.  "You think I'd let him
live after that?" the general growled, in a hard, cold tone that sent
shivers up John's spine.  "I followed him through the Stargate and
killed him with my own hands in a fair fight in front of his people. 
I think that sent a message to the Genii that nobody hurts anything
of mine and lives to boast about it.  They haven't troubled us again
since."
	"Right.  Okay."  John nodded slowly.  Just when he'd been feeling
at ease with the guy, the general showed a darker side than John had
hitherto glimpsed.  He suddenly had the feeling that this man was
really not to be messed with-or, perhaps more to the point, Dr.
Rodney Sheppard was not to be messed with-because if anything
happened to him, John had the feel-ing that the general would go
ballistic, and his revenge would most likely be short, to the
point... and fairly brutal.
	They flicked through some more mission reports, and then the
general paused, deep in thought.
	"I'm wondering-as your Rodney found that ZPM-did he also have any
luck with the Arcturus weapon, or didn't you encounter that?"
	"No, we encountered it all right," John sighed, throwing his
counterpart a file.  "There you go."
	"Man, what a fuck-up that mission was," the general said, flicking
open the file.
	"For us, too," John told him.  
	"Ah."  The general read through the file, quietly, one finger
playing with the pendant around his neck as he did so.  When he'd
finished, he looked up, shaking his head.  "Well, that's pretty much
what happened in our universe too," he sighed.  "Half a solar system
blown away and we were lucky to get out of there in time."
	"You agreed to allow your Rodney to work on the weapon, then?" 
John had always re-gretted allowing Rodney to talk him into that one,
and he was pleased to hear that his counter-part, for all his air of
being totally in command of any given situation, had also tripped up
on that occasion.
	"Yes," the general sighed and then he glanced sharply at John. 
"But it says here you agreed, too.  What did he say to convince you?"
	"Some stuff about trust and having faith in his abilities, yada,
yada, yada, and then he threw in something about him winning the
Nobel prize...and he just looked so kind of...well, you know what
Rodney's like.  He was like a really determined and over-eager puppy
with extremely sharp teeth and he just wouldn't take no for an
answer.  I suppose on some level, also, I really wanted to be
convinced because that weapon sounded really cool, although I'm still
kicking my-self about that.  How about you?  Did your conversation
with him go the same way?"
	"Yeah, pretty much by the sounds of it.  Although my Rodney also
threw in a truly spec-tacular blow job for good measure," the general
said and then he grinned when John pulled a 'too much information'
face.  "Your Rodney must be pretty damn persuasive if he managed to
convince you without the benefit of a blow job," the general
commented.
	"Well, you know Rodney," John shrugged, wondering what a truly
spectacular blow job from Rodney would be like and then catching
himself wondering and shrugging the thought quickly away.
	"Anyone would think you had a soft spot for him," the general
murmured.
	"Nice try, General, but we're not going there," John replied.  "And
I wish he hadn't damn well persuaded me.  That decision still keeps
me up at night.  How about you?"
	"It doesn't give me sleepless nights-although I can't say the same
for Rodney," the general said softly.  "My Lady Elizabeth really
wasn't happy about that one."  He gave a little grimace.  
	"Yeah, ours wasn't thrilled, either.  She gave Rodney a chewing out
half the base heard."
	The general frowned.  "Maybe that's why it still occasionally keeps
you awake at night, then," he murmured.  
	John glanced at him questioningly, trying to figure out what he was
getting at.
	"Well, you supported Rodney-so surely some of the fallout should
have come your way when it all went wrong?"  
	The general raised an uncompromising eyebrow and John didn't know
how to respond to that.  He hadn't thought of it that way.  He was
saved from having to reply by a knock followed by a flurry of
activity at the door as the two Rodneys tumbled excitedly into the
room.  Now that they were dressed identically John had to take a
moment to tell them apart-the likeness really was uncanny.  His task
was made even harder by the fact that neither of them would keep
still and they kept finishing each other's sentences.  
	"We think we know how to fix the QDD!" one of them announced.
	"Of course it isn't simple.  What happened was that during
transport the energy ex-change was so great that the internal
crystals were obliterated," the other said.
	"Completely burnt out," the first one continued.
	"Which sounds bad..."
	"And in fact is bad..."
	"And at first we weren't sure whether we'd be able to repair them
or not...."
	"We looked at them for hours and then we decided we couldn't repair
them...."
	"Even two brains working at our level of genius can't repair
crystals that damaged...."
	"Although if anyone could have repaired them, it would have been
us...."
	John glanced at the general to find the other man glancing back at
him, looking as com-pletely bemused and stupefied as he was feeling. 
If having one Rodney around was both ex-hilarating and faintly scary,
having two pacing around the room, both of their hands flailing madly
as they spoke at top speed, was positively disorienting.  
	"So we need to find some new crystals...."
	"Sounds easy.  Isn't..."
	"We checked through an inventory of everything we've found on
Atlantis since arriving and there aren't any crystals of the exact
shape and energy type we need..."
	"We could modify some but that would be time consuming..."
	"But...then I remembered there was this planet we went to about 5
months ago, PBX-250-"
	"Hang on!" the general said, finally managing to get a word in
edgeways.  "PBX-250-wasn't that the planet with the really unfriendly
aliens?  The ones who wanted to tie us up and sacrifice us to their
gods?"
	"Yes, yes, yes!" his Rodney said impatiently-John had identified
him by his slightly longer hair and the glimpse of his leather collar
beneath his shirt.
	"As I recall, we barely got away with our lives last time.  What
makes you think it would be different in this universe?"
	"Maybe they don't worship the same gods in this universe?" the
general's Rodney sug-gested.
	"Unlikely," the general snorted.  "The colonel and I have just been
going through their mission reports.  Things seem to happen pretty
much the same, with just a few minor details changing."
	"Well, it's worth a try!" both Rodneys said at the same time.  
	"Okay, pipe down here.  It's hard enough concentrating on one of
you, let alone both of you," the general said.  "You-Rodney-sit down
and shut up for a second.  You-Dr. McKay, could you finish explaining
this, please?"
	The general's Rodney sat down with a dramatic sigh and a little
pout in his husband's direction.  The general reached out a lazy arm
and cuffed the back of his head affectionately in response.  That
left their own Rodney taking center stage-something he looked happy
about, as usual.
	"According to Dr. Sheppard here, Planet PBX-250 used to be some
kind of Ancient out-post," Atlantis' Rodney said, puffing up his
chest as he held forth.  "The people who live there now are primitive-
as evidenced by the whole human sacrifice thing-but if we can get
around them, then there is Ancient technology just littered around
the place.  Dr. Sheppard said there was a large chamber, sunk deep
into a mountain rockface, where he definitely saw crystals of the
kind we need-and all kinds of other stuff.  There might even be a
ZPM!" he said excitedly.  "Not that that would help with the QDD, of
course, but..."
	John closed his eyes and tried to concentrate-there were far too
many acronyms being casually thrown around in this conversation.  
	"But a ZPM would be very useful for 101 other things on Atlantis!"
the other Rodney fin-ished excitedly, clearly unable to keep out of
the conversation.  The general cuffed him lightly on the back of the
head again.
	"Shh.  It's hard enough following one of you, let alone both," he
growled.  
	The general's Rodney grinned back at his husband.  "John-this is do-
able!" he ex-claimed.  "We could gate over there, grab the crystals,
gate back, install the crystals in the QDD and be home in a couple of
days."  
	"Is that true?" John said, turning to his own Rodney for
confirmation.  "Is it that simple?"
	"Well, theoretically, yes," Atlantis' Rodney replied.  "Although
the crazy religious cult people might not be so keen on us stealing
their stuff."
	"They're not using it!" the other Rodney protested.  "They don't
even know what it's for!  It's just lying around, underfoot!"
	"Rodney, last time we went there, they nearly barbecued us," the
general pointed out.
	"But we do have the advantage of the fact that you've been there
before so you know what to expect," John said slowly.  "And also
we'll have the benefit of surprise-you've been there but we haven't-
so they won't know anything about us and they won't be expecting us. 
If we plan it right..."
	"I could draw up some maps and we could talk about how we deployed
our team," the general said slowly.
	"If we went in prepared, with a clear mission objective and the
right equipment..."  John continued.
	"Hah!  And they thought we were confusing when we did that," the
general's Rodney said, his eyes gleaming.  "So?"  He looked at the
general expectantly.  "Is it a 'yes,' John?"
	The general glanced at John who sighed and held up his arms in
surrender.  "It's the over-eager puppy dog thing, like I said," he
muttered.
	"Yup.  They're just so persuasive.  Even without the truly
spectacular blo..."
	"Uh, yes!" John told the Rodneys, interrupting the general before
he could finish that sentence.  "We'll need to run it by Elizabeth,
of course, but I don't think she'll object, so it's a yes."
	"When do we set off?  I could be ready in an hour," his Rodney said.
	"Tomorrow will be fine, Rodney," John told him, with a roll of his
eyes.  "I know we want to send these people back home as soon as
possible, but we do have some planning to do be-fore we set off."
	"Fine.  Okay.  Fine.  We need to do some preparation, in any case,
because the housing was burnt out during the transfer.  It'll need
..."  The Rodneys continued their discussion as they walked back out
of the door.
	"Well, at least they seem to be working together okay," John said
once the two Rodneys had left.
	"Yeah-for now at least.  I guess there's nothing like a good
intellectual puzzle to keep them both out of mischief, and away from
each other's throats.  Now, let's get working on that plan," the
general said, clearing a space on the table.


*                       *                       *
	Several hours later, John left his office, rolling his head from
side to side and getting a satisfying crack in response.  He could
feel the usual pre-mission excitement building in the pit of his
stomach and was actively looking forward to the following day. 
First, he had to run a cou-ple of errands, though.  He stopped by the
practice room first and found Ronon there, as he of-ten was, sparring
with a couple of volunteers.  John beckoned him over.  He and the
general had already gone over the mission plan with the big man, but
there were some private orders he wanted to give him.
	"Listen, tomorrow I want you to stick to Rodney Sheppard like
glue," John told him.  
	Ronon gazed at him dispassionately, assessing that comment.  
	"Got that?" John asked.  "I want you to be his personal bodyguard-
make sure that nothing happens to him.  I don't want a hair on his
head harmed."
	"Very well," Ronon nodded, his eyebrow rising ever so slightly in
unspoken query.  "Just Rodney Sheppard-the other Rodney?  Not our
own?  Not the general?"
	"Nope.  The general can take care of himself and our Rodney always
seems to manage just fine."
	"You think that the other Rodney is a weak link?" Ronon frowned.
	"No.  Not at all.  I just know that if anything happens to him, the
general will go ballistic and that's a complication we can do
without.  Understood?"
	"Understood."  Ronon nodded his head thoughtfully.  


*                       *                       *


	His next port of call was the lab.  It was late, but Atlantis'
Rodney was still working, as John had known he would be, lying on the
floor gazing up at the underside of the QDD.  There was no sign of
the other Rodney-or, in fact, anyone else-but John wasn't surprised
by that.  They'd been working in here since the crack of dawn and he
doubted Rodney had taken any breaks, save for a couple of minutes to
snatch some food which he'd have undoubtedly stuffed down his face
while still working.  All the others were either too sensible to work
such long hours, or less personally invested in the problem.
	"McKay, time to turn in," he said.
	Rodney glanced out from underneath a pile of burnt-out crystals and
various bits of housing, looking befuddled by the interruption.  John
noticed the dark smudges under his eyes and the weary lines around
his mouth.
	"Not yet.  It's still early," Rodney said.  
	"It's nearly eleven," John pointed out.  "And we're leaving at six
tomorrow."
	"Eleven?  I never usually turn in before one," Rodney said
brusquely, returning to his work.
	"Well, you will tonight," John told him firmly.  
	"Oh, I'm sorry-for a moment there I assumed you were the general
mistaking me for his slaveboy with all the ordering around that's
going on," Rodney snapped.  
	John felt his eyes narrowing and he gazed at Rodney for a moment. 
He knew for a fact that the scientist had worked all through the
previous night, and he had learned to read Rodney very well since
they'd all arrived on Atlantis.  The scientist could get by on very
little sleep, but when he did he was snappy, and his reaction times
were slower, and John didn't want to risk that on the mission the
following day-especially if the natives were as unfriendly as he'd
been told.
	John decided not to take no for an answer.  He reached out and
waved his hand in front of the light panel, plunging the room into
darkness.
	"What the hell are you doing?" Rodney demanded.
	"Turning off the light so you can get to bed," John replied
sweetly.  "And..."   He thought about it for a moment, heard a
satisfying mental click, and then grinned.  "I've kind of told the
city not to turn it back on again for a few hours," he added.  "I
doubt you'll be able to over-ride that particular command, Rodney."
	"Oh, for God's sake!"  Rodney slid out from where he was working
and bumped his head on the underside of the housing as he sat up. 
John winced.  "Ow!  Dammit, that's your fault and this is
ridiculous!" Rodney told him, charging across the room and trying the
light switch, any-way.  The room remained resolutely dark.
	"Sorry."  John crossed his arms over his chest and stood there
impassively, waiting for the torrent of complaints.  He wasn't
disappointed.
	"I have work to do, Colonel, and I should point out that I'm Head
of Science here, not you, and I can work whatever damn hours I want
to.  I don't tell you how to run the military op-eration here and I
don't expect you to interfere with my work.  Now turn the bloody
lights back on again!" Rodney ranted.
	"Nope."  John remained where he was.  Rodney was so close to him in
the dark room that he could see the angry flash of his eyes as he
spoke, but John wasn't going to back down on this one.  "I'm sorry,
Rodney, but I want you rested before we gate into the arms of these
sacrificial cultists tomorrow.  It won't be an easy mission and I
need you to be alert."
	"When have I ever not been alert during an offworld mission?"
Rodney snapped.
	"Look, Rodney," John said, in a softer voice, leaning in close,
"you've been under a lot of strain these past couple of days and you
need the rest.  Why are you fighting this?  You're clearly exhausted-
you look like shit-why not just go with it?"
	Rodney stood there for a moment, and he was so close John could
hear the restless, nervous movements of his hands, hands that John
had never known to be still.
	"Cute," Rodney muttered at last.  
	John frowned.  "Sorry?"
	"Your concern for my wellbeing.  Cute.  I'm very touched.  Now
you've done your duty.  Turn the lights back on again please,
Colonel."
	"No."  John's voice was harder this time.  Rodney stood there for a
moment and they were eye to eye, nose to nose, and John had a sudden,
surprising impulse to grab Rodney and kiss him, hard, on the mouth,
and make him give in.  He bit the disquieting impulse back down. 
Damn, but having the alternate Rodney and John around was giving him
the most disturbing thoughts.  The moment passed, and Rodney's mouth
settled into that hard, crooked line that John was very familiar
with.  
	"Fine," he said, in a quieter tone than John had been expecting. 
"You win, Colonel."  He grabbed his jacket from the back of a chair,
strode over to the door and opened it.  "Oh, one last thing," he
murmured.  "Who is going to be in charge tomorrow?"
	"What?" John frowned, wondering what the hell he meant.
	"You or the general?" Rodney asked, the sweetness of his tone
masking the savagery of his question.  "You're just a lieutenant
colonel, after all, and he's a general, so he outranks you."  It was
meant to wound and it did.
	"Me," John snapped at him.  "I'll be in charge-as usual.  You're my
people.  I know you and what you're capable of.  And he didn't earn
that rank in this universe, so as far as I'm con-cerned, he doesn't
outrank me.  He's just a very useful guest who's coming along with us
to help out."
	"Does he know that?" Rodney asked sweetly.  "Only...he doesn't
strike me as the kind of man who likes anyone else to be in charge." 
And with that he gave John a fierce, triumphant little look and
turned on his heel and walked away.
	John stood there for a moment, feeling like he'd been punched. 
Damn McKay for always knowing his weaknesses and where to hit-
although John knew that he'd laid down the gauntlet himself by
effectively throwing the scientist out of his own lab in the first
place.  He should have known he wouldn't get away with that without
Rodney retaliating in some way.  Rodney McKay was no pushover-and
John had come to accord the scientist a grudging respect for that.
	With a sigh, John decided that his errands weren't yet over for the
evening.  He took himself off to the room that General and Doctor
Sheppard shared and hesitated for a moment outside, wondering what he
might be interrupting.  He thought of the other Rodney, with that
endearing giggle of his, pressing himself into the general's arms,
and imagined the other John kissing him, hard, fiercely,
passionately, on the mouth, the way John had just wanted to kiss his
own Rodney.  John shook his head, trying to banish the mental image. 
These thoughts didn't go anywhere so he'd have to find a better way
of handling them.  He knocked on the door and a few seconds later the
general opened it and squinted at him blearily.  He was only wearing
a pair of boxer shorts, which he'd clearly hurriedly pulled on as his
fingers were still pulling at the waistband as he caught sight of
John.
	"Sorry to disturb you.  I just wanted to make sure we were clear on
one thing before to-morrow," John said softly, glancing over the
general's shoulder at the mound in the bed which shifted at the sound
of his voice and uncurled to reveal Rodney Sheppard.  The scientist
sat up, his eyes sleepy and his hair looking disheveled and...kind of
adorable.  John swallowed down hard.
	"Is there a problem?  Has something happened?" Rodney Sheppard
asked, sliding out of the bed.  He was completely naked and John felt
his dry throat become even dryer.  The sci-entist had a compact body,
with firm, pale flesh, and there was something utterly compelling
about his naked body.  He was unconscious in his sexuality, with the
loose, unembarrassed movements of someone both familiar and
comfortable with his own nudity.  John's eyes flick-ered down slowly
over the broad firmness of his shoulders, the tattoo on his upper
arm, the little red bite mark over one nipple, and the smooth curve
of his cock as it swung in a nest of soft brown curls.
	"Eyes front and center, Colonel," the general growled in a low,
warning tone.  
	John tore his eyes away.  
	"Rodney-either get back in bed or put some clothes on," the general
snapped over his shoulder.  "You're lucky it's you," the general told
John.  "Anyone else would be lying on their back with my fist mark on
their jaw right now for looking at my husband like you just did.  If
your interest lies there, then you have your own Rodney, remember,"
the general added softly.
	"Sorry...I didn't mean anything.  I was just startled," John said
quickly.  "There's no prob-lem, Dr. Sheppard.  I just wanted a word
with the general," John directed this comment over the general's
shoulder and Dr. Sheppard sighed and slid back into bed, but he
remained sitting up, his arms wrapped around his knees, gazing at the
door.  "I wanted to be clear on one thing to-morrow, General," John
told his counterpart.  "I just realized it wasn't something we
discussed earlier and I think it's important that it's said.  I
really appreciate your help, but these are my people, and there can
only be one person in command."
	The general gazed at him for a moment, an assessing look in his eyes.
	"I realize you technically outrank me," John began, trying to
address the other man's ar-guments before he made them.
	"But not in this universe," the general said, which had been John's
exact point from ear-lier.  John wasn't surprised about that-during
the course of the day he'd found they thought the same way on a
number of issues.  "It's all right, Colonel.  I wasn't intending to
throw my weight around tomorrow.  These are your people, however much
they might look like my own.  Besides ...I'm looking forward to
seeing you in action," he said.
	John nodded, relieved, and then he thought about that last comment
for a moment and felt his stomach clench nervously.  He wasn't sure
he wanted to be assessed by this man-or, at least, he didn't want to
be found wanting by the general of all people.  
	"Way to pile on the pressure," John grumbled.  
	The general laughed.  "I have every faith in you," he replied,
patting John's arm.  "You're me, remember?"
	"Well.  Kind of."  John shrugged, glancing over the general's
shoulder at Dr. Sheppard again.  If he was the general, then he'd
have someone that enticing waiting for him when he got back to his
quarters and not a cold, empty bed.  He wondered what it would feel
like to have a naked Rodney wrapped around his body, those restless
hands of his running over his skin, teasing and arousing him.  
	The general cleared his throat warningly.  
	"Anyway, like I said, I'm sorry to disturb you," John said, tearing
his gaze away from Dr. Sheppard again.  "Sleep well."
	He turned and left, but his footsteps didn't take him back to his
own room.  Instead he found himself walking towards Rodney's room. 
He paused outside, wondering what the hell he was doing-or intending
to do-and then, finally, he knocked.  
	Rodney opened the door a few seconds later...looking
disappointingly clothed.  He gazed at John resentfully.  
	"Come to make sure I'm actually in bed, Colonel?" he asked.  "No,
wait, you're probably here to tuck me in yourself.  Or maybe you want
to handcuff me to the bed just to be sure I don't leave.  Having the
general around seems to be having a bad effect on you."
	"I actually came to apologize for pushing you around earlier, but
you know what?  Forget it," John told him, snapped out of his mood by
Rodney's s