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The Friday Night Club
Part Three – Josh
By Xanthe
Saturday Morning
Josh woke with a start and gazed at
his desk, disoriented. Somewhere down the hallway he heard the sound of a
door slamming shut.
"Donna?" He muttered, glancing around blearily. He came to and shook his
head, trying to clear it, and then winced - his neck felt as if it had
spent several hours squished to one side on a hard surface…which, he
realised, it had. Josh reached for the glass of water on his desk and
raised it to his lips – when the sound of footsteps in the hallway
outside, combined with his own state of zombification caused him to
miscalculate the distance between his hand and his mouth with the result
that the water ended up mostly in his lap and down the front of his shirt.
It was at that precise moment, as if decreed by the personal intervention
of the god of bad timing himself, that Leo McGarry appeared in his
doorway.
"Josh? I thought I heard a noise down
here – what's going on? You're here very early," Leo commented. His sharp
eyes travelled up and down Josh's body, taking in every single facet of
his deputy's dishevelled state of dress, culminating in the damning wet
patch currently decorating his crotch.
"It's water," Josh said quickly. "It's
not…you know…anything else," he muttered, knowing that his entire face was
now bright red from the tips of his ears to his adam's apple.
"I figured," Leo commented with barely
more than a minutely raised eyebrow.
"I was…I misjudged…" Josh waved his
hand expansively to show how the accident had happened and, too late,
realised that the glass he was still holding wasn't quite empty. He could
only watch in abject dismay as he showered his boss with the remaining
contents of the glass.
"Thank you, Josh. I did just take a
shower though," Leo commented crisply, pulling his handkerchief out of his
top pocket and brushing down the lapel of his jacket with firm, slightly
irritated strokes of his hand. Josh sighed and sat down.
"I'm sorry, Leo," he muttered,
wondering just how much more of an idiot he could make himself between
this moment in time and next Friday. Leo looked up, those sharp eyes of
his assessing his deputy thoroughly. Josh was suddenly acutely aware of
the fact that there was stubble on his chin, the collar of his shirt was
open, and his tie was currently decorating the handle of his filing
cabinet. Leo, on the other hand, looked immaculate for a Saturday morning.
Usually dress at the West Wing was more casual at the weekend, but Leo was
still wearing the suit Josh had seen him disappear in yesterday. Josh felt
himself starting to flush again as he realised that Leo had come straight
from the Residence where he had, undoubtedly, just spent the night with
the President. That thought made his groin ache, and his heart ache even
more with a kind of longing that he'd been unable to even put into
coherent thought until a week ago. Now Josh wondered how he could ever
have been blind to what was going on between his boss and the President.
Leo was positively glowing this morning – his face was open and relaxed,
his eyes clear and sparkling…he radiated contentment and was clearly a man
who was very happy in both his personal and working life. Josh felt
grubby, unshaven, and not exactly very pleasant smelling by comparison.
"Josh, have you been here all night?"
Leo asked, with a slight click of disapproval in his voice.
Josh hesitated. "I was just…I…there
was…yes," he admitted with a sigh.
Leo nodded. He turned and shut the
door, then came and sat down in front of Josh's desk.
"What's going on, Josh?" He asked,
those perceptive eyes of his missing nothing. Josh exhaled a long, deep
breath. He could well imagine that Leo McGarry was a top extraordinaire.
There was no way any sub of his would get away with concealing anything
from him. That was a curiously reassuring thought and Josh felt himself
relaxing.
"The never-ending Crossley fiasco, is,
well, never-ending," he sighed. He had screwed up badly on this a week ago
and it looked as if it was never going to go away, no matter how hard he
worked on the damage limitation. It had all been his own fault – he had
been arrogant, showing off in a meeting on the hill, and had made an
incautious comment about Senator Crossley’s character and abilities that
had gotten straight back to the Senator who had come out all guns blazing
as a result – and it turned out that Senator Crossley had some rather
interesting opinions of his own which he wanted to share with the world,
and a whole suitcase full of ammunition to back them up. It wasn’t
seriously damaging to the Bartlet administration but it was a constant
nagging headache that didn’t show any signs of going away – and the
ongoing fallout was overshadowing everything else in the news cycle. "I
spent half the night on the phone trying to deal with it but…" He
shrugged. “It isn’t over yet, Leo…and..." he hesitated, and sighed. “At
some point we have to tell the President that too,” he finished.
"Okay," Leo said, gazing at him
steadily. "We all know this one's down to you, Josh, but nobody could say
you haven't busted a gut trying to sort it out. I can't have you beating
yourself up over this any more. Get the file up to date and then bring it
to me – I'll see if I can fix it."
Leo gave a clipped smile, then got up
and walked over to the door, every movement tight and contained. Josh
sighed – he had single-handedly managed to puncture Leo's relaxed mood and
he'd liked seeing his boss radiating such contentment. Sometimes
they all forgot just how much Leo took on himself. Yes, the President bore
responsibility for the welfare of the entire nation, but it was Leo who
bore responsibility for the welfare of the President, and that wasn't a
job he took lightly. Leo stopped at the door, rested his fingers on the
handle, and then glanced back at his deputy. The expression in his eyes
softened, and changed to one that Josh had rarely seen before, one of
intimacy.
"When I left him, he was sleeping. He
looked…peaceful." A little smile tugged at the corner of Leo's lips. "We
don’t tell him this has come up again until we know if we can fix it,
Josh," he said firmly.
Josh nodded, understanding. The
President had a lot of things to worry about – but if Leo could worry
about them for him then he would, right up to the point where the
President needed to take that worry on himself.
"And Josh, you done good. It isn't
even 8 o clock yet - go and take a shower, shave, and have something to
eat before you work on that file," Leo said, his voice soft with an
underlying current of affection in it. Josh smiled at his boss, basking in
the other man's few brief words of praise. He would go to the ends of the
earth to hear praise from Leo McGarry's lips. Leo nodded to him and then
left the room and Josh leaned back in his chair and stretched, unable to
stop smiling. Leo's praise warmed him inside in a way that made up for
all the sleepless nights. He wondered if the President felt this way –
would he go to the ends of the earth to hear Leo McGarry say, "You done
good"? He was the President for god's sake – surely he didn't need
anyone's praise or approval? And yet…Josh recalled all the times when he
had seen Jed Bartlet look to Leo McGarry for confirmation that he had done
the right thing, that he had performed his job to the high standards Leo
McGarry expected of him – and, something more - that he'd made Leo proud
of him. Josh smiled to himself - despite the fact that he was the most
powerful man in the world, what Jed Bartlet wanted more than anything else
was to make Leo proud and Josh could empathise with that emotion all too
well.
Josh wandered down to the staff gym
and took a shower, pondering on the President's relationship with Leo. He
still found it hard to wrap his head around the idea of someone as strong,
vibrant, sure of himself and powerful as the President subbing to anyone
but he had to admit that if there was anybody in the world who could
top the President then it was Leo McGarry. He replayed the memory of Leo's
expression as he had leaned on the door and told Josh that he had left the
President sleeping. Josh had seen the President sleeping on plenty of
occasions and so had Leo but it was obvious that to Leo this was different
– he wasn't talking about the President, he was talking about his lover,
someone he'd spent the previous night with, someone he'd just left in the
bed they'd both shared and Josh guessed that must be a very different
thing. Josh's cock ached at that thought and he took it in his hand almost
reflexively, allowing the hot water to pound on his head and wash him into
wakefulness as he pumped his cock hard, all the time thinking of Leo and
the President making love. He came, explosively, and leaned his wet head
against the shower wall, wondering how the hell he was going to remain
sane and do his best work for a whole week before the big day came when he
would be welcomed into the most private, exclusive and intimate of all the
clubs in Washington DC.
Josh found a blue polo shirt and pair
of faded blue jeans in his locker and returned to his desk feeling much
more human. He liked working at the weekend. The West Wing was his life to
all intents and purposes and he couldn’t think of anything else he'd
rather be doing, especially as during the course of his working life he
got to spend his time not only with people he counted as his closest
friends but also with the two men he respected more than anyone else on
the planet since his father's death. There was a different atmosphere at
the weekend – only a few staff were present, and there was a holiday kind
of feeling.
Josh spent the next three hours
working on the Crossley file and then wandered along the more or less
empty hallways to Leo's office. He knocked on the door and when there was
no reply he pushed it open only to find that it was empty. The door to the
Oval Office was open though, and Josh heard the sound of voices in the
next-door room. He hesitated for a moment and then walked quietly over to
the open door, not wanting to disturb the President. He was about to knock
on the open door to the Oval Office when he caught a glimpse of the men
inside and paused.
The President was sitting at his desk,
with Leo standing at his right shoulder. Jed Bartlet was dressed casually
like Josh, in a dark blue sweater and blue jeans, in contrast to Leo's
more formal attire. What struck Josh though, was the look in the
President's eye as he looked up at his Chief of Staff. There was a
tenderness there that took him completely by surprise. He had always known
that Jed was fond of Leo, but this was different – this was a look of
total admiration…and love. Whatever happened between these two men on a
Friday night it was clear that on Saturday morning the bond between them
was completely renewed and they both knew that and loved the way it made
them feel.
"I'm supposed to sign this?" The
President was saying, an expression some way between a grimace and a grin
on his features.
"Yes you are, sir," Leo said, his tone of voice just bordering on stern,
which belied the amused expression in his eyes.
"I'm supposed to sign it even though I
don't agree with it?" Bartlet asked.
"Sure. You're the President – you have
to do lots of things you don't agree with," Leo replied.
"I thought becoming President meant
I'd never have to do anything I didn't agree with ever again," Jed
groused.
"Who told you that?"
"You did – when you were trying to
explain to me why it would be a good idea for me to run for President in
the first place," Jed replied.
"And you believed me?" Leo sounded
incredulous.
"I always believe you, Leo. Either I'm
very gullible or you're very persuasive." Jed made another face and signed
the paper with a sigh of distaste. Leo smiled fondly, and removed the
paper from in front of the President.
"Well done. I know that had to hurt,"
Leo commented. Jed made a little 'hmphing' sound under his breath and Leo
grinned and rested his hand briefly on Jed's shoulder, and squeezed. It
was a small gesture that lasted only for a split second, and one that the
casual observer would have missed altogether, but there was something so
beautiful about it, so loving and so intimate that Josh felt as if he had
forgotten how to breathe. Bartlet didn't say anything but he glanced up
momentarily and the two men exchanged a look that spoke volumes. Josh was
hit, then, by how huge a deal it was that he had been invited into this
unique and very special relationship. What the hell did they want him for?
He knew why he wanted to be there but he had no idea why they wanted him
there. Confused and full of sudden doubt, he turned to go and bumped into
the door, making both the men in the Oval Office look up sharply.
"Josh – come in," Bartlet said, waving
his hand.
"Uh… I was…I needed to see Leo," Josh said, hoping they didn't mind him
intruding on a private moment.
"Excuse me, sir," Leo said. Bartlet
looked disappointed, as if he would have enjoyed having Josh come and talk
for awhile but Leo shut the door to the Oval Office firmly behind him as
he left.
"This is it." Josh waved the file at
Leo and then threw it down on his desk with a heartfelt sigh, glad to be
rid of thing.
"Okay." Leo nodded at him in
dismissal, sat down at his desk, and began flick through the file. Josh
hovered, uncertainly. Leo glanced up at him with a raised eyebrow.
"You're still here?" He commented.
"I haven't…that is…" Josh hesitated.
"What is it Josh?" Leo sat back in his
chair and gazed at his Deputy steadily.
"I saw you earlier – before you saw
me, Josh blurted out. ”I, uh, saw you with him. In the Oval Office."
"Okay. And?" Leo took off his glasses
and then continued gazing at his Deputy.
"Why did you invite me along next
Friday, Leo?" Josh asked in what sounded like a pathetically small voice
to his own ears. "You two…you don't need anyone else. You sure as hell
don't need me." He swallowed hard – that wasn't what he'd meant to say but
his insecurity had somehow found its way into words anyhow.
"Josh, it's Saturday morning and
you're worrying about next Friday night already?" Leo asked, with a
slightly raised eyebrow. "Are you scared about next Friday, Josh?"
Josh gave a little smile. "Petrified, Leo," he admitted honestly.
"You still want to go ahead though?" Leo questioned, gazing at Josh
intently.
"Oh god, yes," Josh said softly.
"Then go and close the door, Josh,"
Leo told him, with just the slightest trace of a weary sigh. "There's
nobody around. Let's talk about this some more." Josh did as he was told
and came to sit in the chair in front of Leo's desk. "Josh, we've already
been through what you can expect from us and what we'll expect from you,"
Leo told him, that steady gaze never wavering. Josh felt a flush spread
from his neck all the way up to the roots of his hair. Oh yes, Leo had
told him, in excruciating detail, what he could expect. He had gone over
all manner of BDSM sex practices and asked Josh how he felt about them,
and whether they were things he would be interested in experiencing, and
if so, how much he was interested in them. It had been one of the most
embarrassing meetings of Josh's entire life but he had seen it through
with grim determination because what was being offered to him was
something that came pretty close to being his ultimate dream come true.
"I know what to expect, Leo. I just
don't know why you want me there," Josh muttered. "I've seen you and him
together – you don't need me or anyone else."
"We don't, no," Leo agreed with a terse nod. Josh ducked his head, not
surprised at having had that confirmed. "We don't need you, Josh," Leo
continued, "but we'd like it if you joined us. There isn't anybody else we
would invite to join us, trust me."
"There isn't?" Josh raised his head again, surprised.
"No!" Leo replied testily. "What – did
you think that maybe next week we'd invite CJ along, and the week after
that it'd be Toby?"
"Oh god. I hope not." Josh tried hard to get an image of CJ bearing a long
black whip out of his mind. Much as he admired and respected her, CJ Cregg
was scary enough without the addition of an implement of discipline.
"Thanks for the mental image, Leo."
Leo gave a little grunt of amusement.
"Josh, we invited you because we recognised in you someone who would enjoy
what we had to offer – and also because we thought we'd enjoy getting to
know you better in the context of what we do on Friday nights. We asked
you because we both feel the same way about you, Josh. We felt you might
add something to the mix, not detract anything. And also…" His expression
softened, and he gazed at Josh affectionately over his glasses. "We happen
to like you, Josh. Very much." He shrugged. "The President is very fond of
you."
"And you?" Josh whispered. Leo's blue
eyes bored into his soul and he felt as if he was drowning. He wasn't sure
why it was important but it was – he adored both these men and while he
didn't expect for one moment that they reciprocated the depth of his
emotions, he wanted very much to feel that they cared about him in some
small respect –both of them. He had already had evidence of the
President's affection – he could still taste Jed Bartlet's kiss; over the
past week he had replayed over and over again in his mind the moment when
the President had pulled back his head and planted the softest, most
tender and loving of kisses on his mouth. It had been the most magical of
moments for Josh and he had surrendered himself to it, completely and
absolutely, embracing a long buried dream that he had never even imagined
could come true. Now he wondered what it would feel like to have Leo kiss
him – and he wanted that more than anything else in the world right now.
Leo was still gazing at him, and Josh blundered on, trying to explain.
"Leo, I've fantasised about this for a
long time. When he came to me last week…I felt as if I was trapped in one
of my own most treasured dreams. I want to belong to both of you…I want to
give myself up to both of you. I want that so much sometimes that I ache
just thinking about it," Josh admitted. Just a few short weeks ago he'd
have gone to his grave rather than share this particular secret, but all
that had changed now. There was something about this Leo that
demanded that he give up every single secret in his heart if he was ever
to stand a chance of having his most cherished dreams come true. Josh
wanted Leo to know that he trusted him with this information – that he
would tell Leo everything he wanted to know if Leo would just allow him to
be his sub.
"Josh," Leo leaned forward, his eyes
curiously gently behind the glasses. "Don't worry about it," he said
softly. "Friday night will be everything you've ever wanted or hoped for –
but you have to stop doubting us. We want you, Josh, and we'll take very
good care of you. Just let the rest happen naturally. You won't have to
worry about any of it on Friday – in fact, I'll need you to give up
precisely those kinds of anxieties. I'll need you to give yourself up to
us completely and to do that you need to trust us."
"I do trust you, Leo," Josh protested.
"Enough to accept that we want you
with us and to stop questioning that?" Leo said softly. Josh bit on his
lip, and then, finally, he gave a long, heartfelt sigh, and nodded.
"Okay, Leo. I'll try," he agreed.
"Good." Leo nodded. He picked up his
glasses and glanced at his Deputy. "Now, go home, Josh. You've been here
long enough. I don't want to see you back here until Monday morning,
barring some huge, unforeseen crisis. We'll talk about this," he
gestured to the file Josh had handed him, "some more on Monday. Okay?"
Josh nodded, and then got up and left
as instructed. He wasn't entirely sure that he wanted to go home
although the idea of slipping into bed and just falling asleep for several
long hours was very appealing. However, the moment his head hit the pillow
he found himself suddenly wide awake.
He lay there, gazing at the ceiling,
wondering what it would feel like to kneel at Leo's feet, and have Leo
pull back his head and kiss him the way the President had kissed him, full
on the lips. He could imagine no greater happiness in the world, and
wished he could skip forward in time 6 days, to finally know what it would
be like to sub to the two most powerful men on the planet.
None of this seemed real - he felt as if he was in a dream that had
started the previous Friday and that he wanted to go on and on forever.
Josh had fantasised about being sexually submissive for most of his adult
life and even as a child he had made up stories in his head, stories which
he had never shared with anybody, in which he was invariably spanked by a
kind but authoritative man who had his own best interests at heart. As a
child that person had been his father, who had never spanked Josh in his
life, but after puberty he found his fantasies altering considerably
taking an adult focus in the shape of a teacher at his school, Mr. Feig, a
strong, firm man with an athletic build, who made American history both a
pleasure and a torment for Josh as he watched the object of his fantasies
giving a lecture, moving his large hands around expressively. Josh had
wondered what those hands would feel like caressing his body, or punishing
him for some minor act of wrongdoing. His fantasies were conflicted – he
wanted, desperately, to please the strong, older male figures in his
fantasies, so he hated thinking up any reason why they would want to spank
him, yet at the same time that was what he yearned to happen. He wanted to
be slung over a pair of strong knees and have his ass tanned, wanted to
give himself up for punishment or pleasure - whatever the fantasy male of
his imagining wanted to deliver he would receive, gratefully. As he had
grown older he had managed to find a place for those fantasies among the
multi-layered facets of the rest of his life. He could go for many weeks
without even thinking about them but then returned to them, like the old,
comfortable pleasure they were, letting them soothe and caress him,
restoring his equilibrium after a particularly difficult time at work. His
fantasies were his escape during times of stress, his secret, and one that
he had never thought he would share with anybody until the President had
surprised him in the gym last Friday, his voice low, dark, and purring,
his demeanour so utterly compelling, sexy, and authoritative; it had
almost been as if Jed Bartlet had reached into Josh's fantasies and
plucked one out, then recreated it for his Deputy Chief of Staff in its
entirety…or almost its entirety. Josh would have liked for last week's
punishment to have ended in something altogether more intimate, and while
he was disappointed that it hadn't, he had been more than compensated for
that by the promise that when Leo was able to join them, they would
explore this territory much further.
Josh turned over and tried to sleep
but found it impossible. He was scarcely able to believe that this was
actually happening to him, and not simply a figment of his imagination.
Working with two such strong men of integrity as Jed Bartlet and Leo
McGarry had brought the same mix of torment and pleasure to Josh's life as
his secret crush on Mr. Feig had years before. Leo and the President
embodied all those qualities he had given to his fantasy figures for so
many years. They were good people - smart and professional and yet real,
vulnerable and flawed for all that. They were kind but firm, caring but
no-nonsense; they were mentors to him in a very real way in his working
life and he looked up to them, believing in them both utterly and
completely, captivated by their skills and their personalities. He worked
night and day to please them, wanting them to be proud of him, and yet,
when he screwed up as was occasionally unavoidable, he hated hearing their
reprimands; Leo's were usually informal but to the point. He would
unerringly find Josh's sense of guilt, making Josh admit to his failings:
he was too quick-tempered, he over-reacted and when his mood was heated he
spoke incautiously and said things he shouldn't. Leo had a way of dryly
going over Josh's misdeeds in a manner that made Josh squirm inside and
feel as if he was 8 years old – and then it would be over, and somehow Leo
knew how to put him back together again as well, finding the good in the
bad, lending his unswerving support to Josh, no matter how badly he'd
fucked up. The President's reprimands were usually shorter but no less
devastating for all that. Jed Bartlet had a way of glancing at him over
the top of his glasses, and saying just a few short words: "Josh - don't
do it again," or "Next time, think before you speak, Josh." It wasn't so
much what he said but the way he'd say it, those blue eyes of his, almost
violet in shade, softer and deeper than Leo's sharp blue gaze, searing his
message into Josh's soul.
Seven days…Josh wasn't sure he could
survive seven days. He had a pang of absurd fear; supposing he got knocked
down by a car between now and next Friday? Supposing something happened
that prevented him from ever joining in the exclusive Friday Night Club?
Supposing he came this close to something that had been so long and
heartfelt a fantasy only to have it snatched away from him before it
actually happened? Josh dismissed his fears with a wry smile at his own
overactive imagination. Leo had told him to have trust – and he was going
to have to do just that.
Monday Morning
As it
turned out, it wasn’t a car accident that threatened to prevent his entry
into the Friday night club, but a nuclear warhead. That huge, unforeseen
crisis that Leo had mentioned arrived unexpectedly and in full force on
Monday morning in the middle of an Oval Office meeting of the Senior
staff. Leo took the call while the President held forth to the room about
the intricacies of economic diversity - something always guaranteed to
make Josh’s eyes gloze over. He was almost relieved when Leo interrupted
the President in full flow, but that relief was short lived when he heard
what was behind the interruption.
"We're
needed in the situation room," Leo told the President, handing him his
jacket. The entire room went silent.
"What's going on, Leo?" Jed said, his expansive, almost teasing mood
changing abruptly as he shouldered himself into his jacket.
"We've
had intelligence that one of those old Soviet nuclear warheads that went
missing has just turned up," Leo told him.
"Where?"
Jed asked as they walked towards the door.
"The
middle east. A known terrorist organisation are currently threatening to
wipe out half the world in exchange for a list of demands as long as both
our arms. You go ahead – I'll be there in a couple of minutes.
Leo
watched the President go and then turned to Josh. "Josh – this one's big -
it might take some time. I need you to take care of everything while we're
focussed elsewhere. Okay? I don't want to hear about anything but the
really important stuff while this is going on and I sure as hell don’t
want him to hear about it – he’s going to need to concentrate on making
the right decisions for the next few days and I don’t want him distracted.
I want you to deal with everything that comes up while we’re doing this."
His sharp blue eyes held Josh transfixed in their gaze for a second,
impressing on him the importance of what he was saying. Josh swallowed
hard – it had been only been just over a week since he had badly screwed
up and his confidence was at an all-time low. "I have every faith in you,
Josh," Leo said urgently, as if sensing the way he was feeling. He patted
Josh firmly on the arm.
"Everything's going to be fine, Leo," Josh said, with more confidence than
he felt. "Go."
Friday Morning
The next
four days were tense for everyone – Josh spent most of the time watching
from the sidelines as Leo and the President spent most of their
time walking to and from the situation room, their faces grim. They were
all working day and night, and the strain was taking its toll on the
President who was dealing with one of the most potentially serious crises
of his Administration. Leo was, as ever, a faithful watchdog at his side.
Watching them work together, moving in tandem with each other like the
components of a well-oiled machine, Leo taking what burdens he could from
the President to enable him to concentrate on making the really tough
decisions, Josh was struck again by what an incredibly brilliant team they
made. If Jed was weighed down by a particular decision, a few words from
Leo could help him home in on the really crucial issues. Leo didn't offer
an opinion unless asked, but if he did ask, Jed always listened carefully
to the reply and invariably acted on Leo's advice. They were a superlative
team and Josh felt humbled to be working with them, in whatever capacity.
His own
task felt no less weighty – he was only too well aware that the President
and Leo were trusting him to deal with everything that didn't need their
direct involvement and he worked night and day to be worthy of the faith
they'd placed in him. More than anything else he didn't want to stand in
front of the President and tell him he'd let him down. He couldn't face
doing that - it would hurt too much. The prospect of Jed Bartlet hauling
them all back from the brink of disaster only to hear that his Deputy
Chief of Staff had messed up on the day to day running of the place was
too depressing to think about.
They were
all so busy that the week passed without him having a chance to so much as
think about Friday. With the way things were he doubted that their Friday
night meeting would happen anyway; there was no way that Leo and the
President would leave the situation room for any length of time when the
entire world was standing on the edge of nuclear catastrophe. He had done
his best to hold the place together while everyone rushed around, an air
of panic bubbling just beneath the surface. He had deftly fielded any
number of difficult issues, keeping them away from both Leo and the
President, dealing with them himself, and, if he had any doubts, running
them by Toby or Sam or CJ before making a decision. The other senior staff
were tremendously supportive of him and his waning confidence had been
bolstered by his success in taking care of the West Wing while Leo and the
President were focussed elsewhere. He thought he’d done a good job – hoped
he had – but it had been a long week and Friday morning found him sitting
at his desk, feeling incredibly weary.
He was
surprised a few seconds later to find a lemon muffin stuck under his nose,
and a hot cup of coffee thrust into his hand.
"Eat.
Drink," Donna commanded, sitting down in the chair in front of his desk.
"Yes,
Mom," Josh made a face at her. "Why are you being so nice to me?" He
asked, taking a bite out of the warm lemon muffin and then giving a
satisfied sigh. Lemon muffins were his favourite – although he wasn't sure
how Donna knew that.
"I'm
always nice to you, Josh," Donna replied. He was going to argue with her
about that when the need to take another bite out of the delicious muffin
overcame all other considerations. There was silence while he stuffed his
face, and then Donna leaned forward, chewing on her lip thoughtfully.
"Josh, do
you think this is it? Do you think we're all going to die?" She asked.
"Whaa? Ow Unnna!" Josh replied incoherently.
"Say that
again without a mouthful of muffin," Donna instructed. Josh swallowed
hard.
"No,
Donna." He told her, taking a swig of his coffee to wash the muffin down.
"Everyone is so tense. You know, usually things are busy but kind of fun
around here but not this week. Everyone looks so miserable and people are
so touchy," Donna told him, looking desperately unhappy. He smiled at her
– they rarely ever talked seriously like this, but he was enormously fond
of her and if he could help her with this then he would.
"Donna –
we are not all going to die. Everything will be fine."
"How do you know that?" Donna asked him.
"Because
Leo and the President are in charge and I have absolute faith in them. I
trust them to make all the right calls on this one, Donna," Josh said
softly. "And so should you. I trust them quite literally with my life – I
don't think they're going to let any of us down."
She gazed at him for a moment, her blue eyes clearing slightly and then
she nodded, and her expression became much happier.
"Okay.
You're right. Thank you, Josh."
He
watched her go with a wry smile. He'd only told her the simple truth as he
saw it, but it seemed to have worked. That thought gave him an idea… He
glanced at the Crossley file, which he had taken back from Leo's desk -
Leo had way too much on his plate right now to deal with this and it had
been Josh's mistake in the first place. Maybe the simple truth would work
as well with Senator Crossley as it had with Donna? It was always worth
one last shot and he'd tried everything else so there really was only one
thing left to do; he picked up the phone and called Senator Crossley.
Friday Evening. 7pm.
Josh
walked into the West Wing after his meeting with Senator Crossley to find
himself immediately accosted by Donna who flung herself into his arms and
kissed him firmly on the mouth.
"What was
that for?" He asked, not quite knowing where to put his hands as she
hugged him voraciously.
"It's
over! They got the warhead. We're safe!" She beamed at him, before kissing
him again and then moving off to some other hapless victim. Josh noticed
Toby taking cover unobtrusively behind a filing cabinet. He hurried along
to the Oval Office, annoyed that he'd missed the excitement of the
announcement but exhilarated by the tangible sense of relief and delight
that was cascading infectiously around the West Wing. He passed CJ
hurrying to a press briefing and found Charlie excitedly making a phone
call from his desk by the door to the Oval Office. Charlie waved him
through and Josh knocked and put his head around the door to find the
President and Leo sitting side by side on the sofa, looking tired but
extremely happy. Leo's tie was askew and the President's hair looked as if
he'd spent the entire day running his hand through it despairingly, but
both were in high spirits.
"Josh –
come in!" Jed said, getting to his feet and waving his Deputy Chief of
Staff into the room. "You heard the news?"
"Yes, sir. Congratulations." Josh grinned as he shook their hands. The
President briefed him rapidly, talking so fast that it was all Josh could
do to follow what he was saying, while Leo interjected little salient
comments along the way, making sense of the President's hurried speech.
"So," Jed said, finally, gazing at Josh. "I've been hearing good things
about how you've kept everything together this past week, Josh."
"Thank you, sir." Josh glanced at Leo who shot him an approving smile.
"I told
you I had every confidence in you, Josh. I think you just needed to find
confidence in yourself again," Leo commented.
"And, I
just got a call from Senator Crossley," the President added. "He says you
came to see him and it would appear – thank god – that this particular
news cycle is finally going to come to an end. How on earth did you
achieve this minor miracle, Josh?"
Josh
flushed and then shrugged. "I went over there and apologised," he said.
"That's
it? You just apologised?" Leo raised an incredulous eyebrow. “I thought
you’d already apologised anyway?”
"Yes I did – but maybe with too much…” Josh bit on his lip, “Attitude?” He
shrugged. “So I went back to see him with a different approach. I took
full responsibility and uh…" Josh flushed again. "I gave him an honest and
fulsome apology, told him I'd been a jerk and also that the President
himself had thoroughly punished me for the whole fiasco. I think it was
something about the way I said it…" He glanced at the President from under
his eyelashes, remembering all too clearly how he'd been punished for this
particular screw up. "A kind of sincerity maybe," he murmured. "Whatever
it was, the Senator seemed pleased I wasn't bullshitting any more or
trying to weasel my way out of it and so… he agreed to drop it."
The President looked at Leo and then back at Josh, and then, much to
Josh's surprise, he winked at him, and clapped him affectionately on the
shoulder.
"You did
well here, Josh," he said. “Not just with Crossley, but with all you’ve
done this week. Everyone has been telling me how hard you’ve been working
and what a great job you’ve been doing.”
Josh
thought his heart would burst with pride. It was, perhaps, the best moment
of his professional life – being praised by the President and seeing that
fond, protective, affectionate look in Leo's eyes as he gazed at him – a
look that he was sure he'd only ever seen Leo give to the President before
now. He basked in it for a second, and then Leo put a hand on Josh's other
shoulder, and whispered softly into his ear.
"Why don't you go up to the Residence and wait in the Blue Bedroom? We
have a couple of loose ends to tie up here but we'll be along in a few
minutes."
Josh felt as if the earth had opened up and swallowed him whole; he hadn't
even been thinking about tonight – he had been so sure that it wasn't
going to happen. He hadn't prepared for it mentally, and now he felt as if
an entire swarm of butterflies had taken up residence in his stomach.
"Yeah."
The President smiled at him, and squeezed his shoulder encouragingly, as
if guessing how he was feeling. "I think we all need some recreation
tonight after the kind of week we've had," he said.
"Josh."
Leo's hand touched his back lightly, his breath warm on Josh's cheek. "Go
on. You deserve this as much as we do," he murmured.
Josh felt
a surge of warmth spread through his stomach – yes, he was still nervous
as hell, but Leo's words were reassuring and he was reminded of how much
he wanted this. The two men were standing so close that he could smell
both the exhilaration and weariness on them. The President was right –
they did all need some recreation and he could think of nothing more
wonderful than sharing that recreation with these two men whom he adored.
Josh gave a tentative smile, and was surprised when Leo's hand slid down
further, rested on his ass for a second, and then gave him a light swat,
encouraging him to go.
"Take
some time to get where you need to be in your head, Josh," he said softly.
"We won't be long."
Josh nodded, and then, tingling with nervous anticipation, he left the
room.
Friday Night
The Blue
Bedroom looked different somehow. Not that he'd had a chance to really
look around it the last time he'd been here but…Josh turned on the light,
closed the door behind him, and stood, bewildered, in the centre of the
room. It had been such a long, difficult week and he was so full of
pent-up emotion that he wanted something – anything – to happen. It would
be good to let go, and really allow these emotions to spin out…but… Josh
sat down on the bed and ran his hand over the crisp, cold sheets. Were
they really going to do this? Tonight? He supposed that to Leo and the
President it might not be such a big deal but to him…it was the
culmination of an entire lifetime's worth of fantasies. It was such a big
deal that he almost turned and walked out of the room, unable to face
having those fantasies finally become reality.
Get to
where you need to be in your head, Josh, Leo had
said, but Josh didn't have a clue how to even begin doing that. He glanced
around the room, noticed the heavy, locked trunk at the foot of the bed
and wondered as to its contents but didn't dare open it.
He got up
again, unable to remain seated, ran a restless hand through his hair and
tugged at his collar, which suddenly seemed too tight, as if it was
suffocating him.
Where did
he need to be in his head, he wondered? And how the hell did he get there?
At that moment he heard the door opening, softly, behind him, and he
jumped and spun around, his stomach leaping into his throat. Leo stood in
the doorway for a moment, just looking at him, and then he closed the door
and stepped into the room. Josh's throat went dry and he stood there
helplessly, not entirely sure that he was even breathing.
"You
really need to relax," Leo commented dryly. He removed his jacket and tie
and hung them up in the closet. Then he walked over to the nightstand,
turned on the lamp, and returned to the wall switch and turned off the
main light. Finally he walked past Josh to the lamp in the corner and
turned that on as well. Now the room glowed seductively – it looked much
warmer and more inviting like this, Josh noted.
"I…is
there something I should be doing?" Josh asked.
"No,
there's nothing you should be doing," Leo told him. "In this room, you
only do what you're told to do. I don't want you thinking, Josh."
"I'm supposed to stop thinking?" Josh wondered how that might be possible.
"Yes you are," Leo said, as if it was the most normal thing in the world.
"You need to stop thinking and start surrendering, Josh."
"You know, Leo, that's a lot easier said than done," Josh commented,
injecting a note of humour in his voice, trying to sound natural in these
completely unnatural circumstances.
"I do
know that, yes," Leo replied, "and I seem to recall telling you that
myself a couple of weeks ago." He came to stand in front of Josh and
looked at him searchingly for a moment. "I'll help you, Josh. You just
need to let go."
"Okay." Josh swallowed hard and tugged on his collar again, needing to get
more air into his lungs.
"Okay."
Leo nodded calmly, still gazing at Josh with a scrutiny that made the
younger man feel extremely uncomfortable.
"Uh, the
President…is he…?" Josh looked towards the door.
"He'll be
here. No more questions, Josh. You need to switch off. The President will
join us in a moment. First of all, you and I need to establish some
rules."
"We do?" Josh gave what he was sure was an almost audible gulp.
"Yes we
do." Leo smiled, but it wasn't a smile Josh had ever seen in the office.
It was almost…seductive; dark, powerful, full of intent, and utterly and
completely masterful. Josh tugged on his collar again, wondering if he was
going to faint.
"But
before that, I think we need to help you breathe," Leo commented
pragmatically. He stepped behind Josh, and a second later Josh felt Leo's
arms settle around his body, wrapping him in a warm embrace. He stiffened
slightly, unsure what was happening. "Relax," Leo chided. "Just let go,
Josh." Josh nodded, and tried to do as he'd been told. He felt Leo's hand
slip across his chest and come to rest over his heart. "Okay…now breathe
with me," Leo told him. Josh remembered the President doing something very
similar in the gym two weeks previously and he suddenly realised that Leo
had made the President tell him every single thing about that encounter,
even down to this tender moment. For some reason that thought relaxed him
a little, and the presence of Leo's hand on his chest and the warmth of
Leo's body against his back helped relax him even more. He took a deep
breath, synchronised his breathing with Leo's, and exhaled slowly. He
started to feel better within seconds; Leo's hand was firm but comforting
on his chest and he liked the sensation of being held – nothing was being
asked of him except that he submit and he wanted nothing more than to do
just that. He liked the idea of his own submission – he didn't have a
problem with getting down on his hands and knees and showing these two men
how much he adored them. His problem was the incessant chatter of his own
brain that sometimes got in the way.
"That's
good," Leo commented, his breath warm on the back of Josh's neck. "Okay,
now I'm going to ask you some questions, Josh, and I want your full and
honest answers. Understood?"
"Yes,
Leo," Josh said softly.
"Okay.
Firstly – I want you to tell me what you don’t want to happen here
tonight."
Josh's head jerked up. "What I don't want to happen?" He asked,
confused.
"That's
right." Leo's arms settled more firmly around Josh's body. "Tell me what
you really don't want to happen here tonight, Josh."
"Uh…" Josh thought about it for a moment. "You know…I really don’t want to
be humiliated," he whispered, flushing furiously in the lamplight. "I
figure I do a good enough job of humiliating myself – I don't need anyone
else to do it."
Leo gave a little chuckle, and his left hand moved to stroke Josh's hair.
It was an affectionate gesture and it reassured Josh that he'd said the
right thing.
"That's
good. I can promise you, Josh, that you won't be humiliated here. That was
never on the cards anyway. This is about you feeling good about yourself
and getting what you want…and I think what you want is to surrender to us
and to please us, isn't it?" Leo asked softly.
Josh swallowed hard again and then nodded, closing his eyes. He could
already feel a warmth in his groin at those words – Leo was right; that
was exactly what he wanted.
"Okay."
Leo removed his hands from Josh's body and Josh took a deep breath,
missing the comfort of those steadying arms. Leo went to sit in an
armchair facing Josh. "The second question is – what do you want to
happen here tonight?" Leo said, studying Josh intently.
Josh gazed at the other man, feeling suddenly helpless. The instant Leo
had asked that question Josh had immediately had a mental image of what
his answer should be – but it had been far easier to admit to what he
didn't want than what he did.
"Uh…" He
hesitated, flushing again, and glanced at his shoes.
"Joshua!"
Leo's tone of voice was so sharp in contrast to the low, mellow tones he'd
been using that Josh stood up straight, startled. "I thought I made it
clear that in this room you give me honest responses. You don't hide – I
don't care what it is that you've got to say, as long as it's what you're
really feeling." Leo's blue eyes seemed to be boring straight into Josh's
soul and he stood, transfixed by the other man's stare. "Okay…" Leo said,
in a gentler, more calming tone. "Let me repeat the question and then I
want your reply – what do you want to happen here tonight, Josh? Name me
one thing that, if it didn't happen, you'd feel disappointed."
"I want you to kiss me, Leo," Josh admitted, biting down on his lip as he
said the words. He felt so exposed and vulnerable; yes, Leo already knew
about many of his most treasured and private fantasies, but this one
expressed wish was so personal, and, to Josh's mind, so full of need, that
he felt as if he had shared a part of his soul with Leo. If this had just
been about sex it would have been so much easier, but admitting that he
wanted Leo to kiss him took everything into a much more emotional realm –
and Josh wasn't a person who had ever been entirely at ease with his own
emotions.
Leo's
gaze didn't falter and his expression didn't change. He continued to study
Josh who felt himself wilting under that sharp, blue-eyed stare. "He
kissed me in the gym," Josh whispered almost defensively, trying to
explain why this was his wish. "I already told you how much that meant to
me. I want to…I want you to…" He faltered and trailed off, feeling utterly
ridiculous. He was a grown man talking about a kiss for god's sake! And
yet…he was still so full of insecurity. He knew the President was fond of
him, knew that Bartlet had wanted him to join them but Leo – Leo was a
different matter and he didn't think he'd ever had a proper answer from
Leo about why he wanted him here tonight. In his heart, Josh thought that
Leo wanted him here only because the President wanted him here and Josh
wanted there to be more to it than that. He had worked closely with Leo
for the past few years, had looked up to Leo, seen him as a mentor and
friend, and he longed for Leo's good opinion as much as he longed for the
President's. He had felt Jed Bartlet's tangible affection for him through
that kiss in the gym, still treasured the taste and feel of the
President's lips against his own, and now he also wanted to know what it
would feel like if Leo kissed him. He thought he'd know the truth about
Leo's feelings if he'd only kiss him.
"Okay,"
Leo said at long last, nodding. "Now let's move on to the rules…"
"Does that mean yes or no?" Josh interrupted, unable to let this go. "Do I
get what I want or do I only get to ask for it?"
"Rule number one…" Leo continued, his glare making it clear that those
weren't questions he intended to answer. Josh felt absurdly vulnerable,
and hit out in the way he usually did in such situations.
"Damnit,
Leo! I'm putting myself on the line here! Is this how it works? You get to
lay down all the rules and make all the decisions while I just get to look
like a fucking idiot?" Josh exploded. "Well, no thanks, Leo," he snapped,
storming off towards the door, knowing as he went that he was doing this
on purpose, jeopardising what he wanted most in the world because he was
too nervous about getting it wrong and screwing up something he had
fantasised about all his life. Better to bring it to an end now rather
than risk ruining it later, when they were in the middle of something,
when it would really hurt to know that he'd screwed up the best thing that
had ever happened to him.
"Joshua –
get your ass back here." Leo's firm, calm voice descended on Josh like a
bucket of icy water, cooling him, and sending shivers down his spine. He
hesitated by the door, his hand reaching for it blindly. "Now,
Joshua," Leo said in a tone of voice that brooked no dissent. Josh found
himself turning on his heel and walking slowly, disconsolately, back to
where Leo was sitting in the armchair. He felt wretched – he didn't like
screwing up; he only wanted to please but he had already made Leo angry
with him and they'd barely started yet. He came to a halt in front of
Leo's chair and stared at his shoes.
"I'm
sorry, Leo," he whispered, and then, because he didn't know what else to
do, he sank to his knees in front of the chair and just stayed there, head
down, waiting to find out what Leo was going to do to him. A few seconds
later he felt a hand grasp his chin and then his face was forced up so
that he had no choice but to meet Leo's implacable gaze.
"That was
about trust," Leo commented. "You not trusting yourself to get this right
and you not trusting me to know how to take care of you."
"That's not tru…" Josh began and then he sighed as he caught the flash in
Leo's eyes; it was true. Leo, as always, saw far more than anyone ever
suspected. Josh sank back on his heels, accepting the comment. "No, you're
right," he admitted. "I just got scared – thought I could run off before
you sent me packing," he said with a feeble grin.
"You're
jittery – that's to be expected," Leo told him. "But I don’t want to see
any more displays of temper tonight, Josh. If you have a problem with
anything that happens here then you say so – politely. I'll always
listen."
"Okay."
Josh nodded, feeling much calmer than he had.
"If you
act out in this way again you'll be punished," Leo said, and those words
made Josh's entire body tingle in anticipation. "You can ask as many
questions as you like – I don't promise to answer them but you can ask."
There was a gleam of slightly malicious humour in Leo's eyes as he stamped
his authority on the proceedings. "That's where the trust comes in, Josh,"
he added. "It's also part of giving up control. You accepting, you not
knowing everything. I do know something about your insatiable curiosity…"
He gave a slightly quirky smile, which Josh, tentatively, returned, "And
while in some situations that can be a good thing, it isn't something you
need here tonight. "
"That's
really hard for me, Leo," Josh murmured.
"I know."
Leo grinned. "Nobody ever said it was easy. But you'll try, Josh, because
I'm ordering you to. Okay?"
When put
like that it seemed a lot easier. Josh nodded.
"Okay –
then let's get back to the rules; firstly, you don't talk about work in
this room. That's the most important rule. We're here to switch off and
get away from work; what has happened in our working lives might inform
and influence what we do here but we do not talk about any of the
specifics. In this room you are not Josh Lyman, my Deputy Chief of Staff.
In this room you are Joshua, my willing and obedient sub. From this moment
on that is what I'll call you and that is what you will answer to. Is that
understood?" The intensity in Leo's blue eyes had Josh pinned to the spot
and he blinked.
"Yes, Leo," he whispered.
"Good.
Secondly, everything that happens in this room is confidential – I can't
stress that enough. Neither the President nor I will ever refer to it in
the hearing of a third party. Whatever you say to us, whatever you
confide, remains between us. We expect the same courtesy of you. I don't
need to stress that our jobs depend upon our discretion. I know we can
trust you but I need you to tell me that you understand how important this
is."
"I do."
Josh nodded. "You know I wouldn't say a word to anyone, Leo."
"Yes I do." Leo nodded. "Okay, thirdly…" He was interrupted at
this point by a soft knock at the door. "Come in, Josiah," he called and
Josh gazed at Leo in surprise at the name he'd just used. He had never
heard Leo call the President anything other than 'sir' or 'Mr. President'
and although, now he thought about it, it wasn't surprising that Leo would
have a different name for the President in this room, it still seemed
strange.
The door
opened and the President walked in. He looked as confident as ever, and
there was an eagerness and affection in his eyes as he viewed Josh that
made Josh's heart soar. While he didn't know where he stood with Leo
McGarry, he was pretty sure that he knew where he stood with Jed Bartlet –
the President liked him and was happy that he was here.
"Good
evening, Leo; good evening, Josh," the President said brightly, coming to
stand in front of Josh. "Ah, I see you've started without me," he winked,
surveying Josh's kneeling position with what looked very much like
approval. Josh was sure he heard Leo give a faint sigh. "Josh, first of
all I'd like to say that I'm glad you're here. You did a great job this
week and I'm proud of you. I'm also delighted that you decided you wanted
to be a part of this – Leo has filled me in on everything I need to know
and I can assure you that we both want this evening to be as good for you
as it always is for us." He glanced at Leo who returned his gaze with a
steely glare. Josh winced slightly – he didn't know much about the
specific sub/dom dynamic between the President and his Chief of Staff but
he could tell that the President's little speech hadn't gone down too well
with Leo.
"You've
come at just the right time, Josiah," Leo said smoothly. "I was just going
through the rules with Joshua. Maybe you need a refresher too?"
The
President turned to gaze at Leo quizzically and then, laughter in his
eyes, he nodded deferentially to the other man. "I'm sorry, sir, you're
quite right. I apologise," he said, the grin he threw in Josh's direction
making it quite clear that the apology was far from heartfelt. Josh was
still too busy getting over the fact that the President had called Leo
'sir' to respond though. Leo gave a grunt and shot Bartlet a look that
would have chilled Josh to the bone if he had been on the receiving end of
it but which Bartlet blithely ignored. Josh wondered if the President was
even aware of how much danger he was courting – or maybe, he thought, this
was part of their dynamic. He remembered Leo telling him that sometimes it
took a long time to get the President to where he needed to be. He was
intrigued by that, and hoped he'd see more of private workings of their
relationship during his evening in their company. Bartlet removed his
jacket and tie, just as Leo had done, and threw them untidily onto a
nearby chair instead of hanging them in the closet.
"Okay,
Joshua – let's return to the rules," Leo said, turning back to his newest
sub. "For a start, in this room you don't call me Leo. You'll address me
as sir, or Mr. McGarry."
"Yes, sir." Josh nodded, quite happy with that rule. It felt weird calling
Leo by his first name in here where he was so utterly and completely the
consummate top in any case. He was happy to call him sir. It felt right.
"You'll have noticed the name I use for Josiah. That's my name for him –
you do not call him that. Nor do you call him sir or Mr. President in this
room, Joshua. Those are names you use for him at work and you will not use
them here. What we do here is separate from work and will be marked as
such by the names we use for each other. To reinforce that fact, he will
call you Joshua just as I do. Is that understood?"
"Yes, sir," Josh nodded. "What should I call him then?" He asked
anxiously.
"How
about Master?" Bartlet offered, looking very pleased with himself. Leo
rolled his eyes.
"Okay,"
he said, obviously deciding to call Bartlet's bluff. "By all means call
him Master if that works for you, Joshua. Otherwise you can call him Jed."
"Or
Master Jed," Bartlet interjected.
"Or you
could call him Master Jed," Leo agreed, "But only if you want to sound
like you're addressing a 6 year old from the pages of a 19th
century novel."
Josh
couldn't help grinning at that but the President wasn't so happy.
"Leo!"
Bartlet complained. "You're ruining my whole top thing here with your mojo!"
"Do I
need to go through the rules again with something more instructive in my
hand? Like a paddle maybe?" Leo asked dangerously.
Josh
gazed at the two of them wide-eyed, utterly transfixed by the power
dynamic that was playing out in front of him. He didn't know what he'd
expected but two weeks ago the President had been utterly and completely
the top with him and now he saw that in his relationship with Leo, the
President was most definitely not in charge and it was such a change from
the way he'd seen them all week that he was startled by it. For the past
several days he had seen Jed Bartlet sweeping in and out of the situation
room with all the presence of the President of the United States, and Leo
had always been one step behind, a constant support, offering advice only
when asked. Now, their status had changed and, in this room at least, it
was clear that Leo was totally and completely in charge and that while the
President might complain about the implications of that, it was a
situation he was not only happy with but also revelled in. Bartlet
reminded him of a child acting out, wanting to be pulled back into line.
"I don't
think that will be necessary," Bartlet said hastily, holding up his hands.
Leo raised an eyebrow. "Sir," Jed added.
"I'll
decide what's necessary. Perhaps you can influence my decision by standing
there and keeping quiet until I've finished running through the rules,"
Leo suggested. "That might go a long way towards helping me decide whether
or not to be lenient with you later."
"Yes, sir." Bartlet nodded, although he gave Josh another wink as he took
a step back and leaned on the armchair.
"Okay, do
you have any questions about the rules so far, Joshua?" Leo asked.
"No, sir." Josh sat back on his heels serenely. Somehow the bantering
exchange, unfamiliar in content and yet so very familiar in tone, had
calmed him. These two were still the same men – they were still the two
people he trusted and admired most in the world. It was actually fun to
see them letting go and playing like this – and he could tell that they
were enjoying it as much as he was. There was something about their
easygoing communication and evident affection that was so damn…sexy. Josh
felt proud of the fact that he was their sub and they were his…masters?
That felt weird, but it made his groin flood with warmth all the same. He
was happy to be kneeling here in front of these two men – he'd happily
worship at their feet for the rest of his life if they'd let him. He
wanted nothing more than to be of service to them in any way they chose.
"Good.
Finally – this is a scene, Joshua. I know you're familiar with that term.
I've already spoken to you at some length so I know what you want and what
you expect and I have a fair idea of your limits. You must accept that you
have no control over what goes on in here and you make no decisions; in
this room, you do as you're told, unquestioningly. We expect your total
obedience," Leo told him sternly.
Josh
exhaled the breath he didn't even realise he'd been holding, thrilling to
the words. He felt almost giddy from the sensations coursing through his
body. Leo was behaving as if he'd stepped straight from Josh's fantasy
world – he was saying all the right things and pressing all of Josh's
buttons.
"That
obedience extends to telling us if something is happening that you don't
like," Leo continued. "This is not an ordeal and you do not endure
something because you think it will please us – it won't. If something is
happening that you really don't like or which distresses or scares you
then you tell us. Immediately. Is that understood?"
"Yes, sir." Josh gazed at Leo, utterly spellbound.
"Good –
then I think we're done. Do you have any questions, Joshua?"
Josh shook his head wordlessly. It had all been as completely clear as one
of Leo's briefings – he'd have expected nothing less from Leo McGarry in
his guise either as boss or consummate top.
"Okay…
then I think it's time to begin. Josiah – it seems to me that our sub is
over-dressed. Perhaps you'd like to amend that situation?" Leo glanced at
Jed who bounced immediately into life.
"You're
right, sir," he agreed, surveying Josh's work clothes thoughtfully. "I
think that our boy should be naked in the presence of his masters, don't
you?"
Leo
pursed his lips, his eyes glinting with amusement although whether that
was from Jed's use of the term 'masters' or because he agreed with the
sentiment, Josh couldn't tell.
"Definitely, Josiah," he commented smoothly. "This boy…" He lingered over
the word and Josh felt his cock starting to harden in his pants. He was
surprised to find just how much he liked the idea of being addressed in
such a way. "…should always be kept naked in this room, I think. So that
he understands what his status is here."
"What
is my status, sir?" Josh asked, his whole body quivering slightly. Jed
moved towards him, and ran the back of his hand gently over Josh's cheek.
Josh leaned into the caress, trembling even more. Jed seemed delighted by
this response and glanced at Leo as if for reassurance or confirmation.
Leo just smiled and nodded at him. Jed ran his hands through Josh's hair,
smoothing it away from his forehead as he looked down on him. Josh
surrendered willingly, putting his head back and gazing up at his new
master adoringly.
"Your
status is that of our beloved plaything, Joshua," Jed said fondly,
caressing Josh's face affectionately. "And we're really going to
enjoy playing with you." He grinned.
"Why
don't you undress our new toy, Josiah?" Leo suggested. "Stand up, Joshua.
I don't want you to do anything – just stand there while Josiah undresses
you."
"Mmm.
Yeah. I think it's time that we took our new toy out of his box and took a
good look at him," Jed murmured. Josh got to his feet, flushing furiously.
Jed stood in front of him, and quickly undid his tie and stripped it away
from his collar.
"Slowly, Josiah. I want you to go very, very slowly," Leo told him from
where he was sitting in his armchair. "I want to enjoy this – put on a
show for me."
Josh was sure that his entire face was now flushing bright purple. While
he loved the idea of being at their mercy, the reality of standing here
butt naked in front of these two fully clothed, powerfully sexy men was
daunting.
"Remember that you don't make any decisions in this room, Joshua," Leo
said softly from his vantage point in the armchair. Josh nodded, feeling
curiously reassured by that fact.
Jed undid
Josh's shirt, going slowly as ordered. He took his time over each button,
pausing to smooth his fingers across Josh's body every now and again, his
fingers gently explorative. Josh gave a little sigh in the back of his
throat and put his shoulders back, relaxing. This felt nice – Jed's breath
was almost caressing as he bestowed a little kiss on Josh's newly revealed
collarbone, and then worked his fingers down to pull Josh's shirt from his
pants. His fingers seemed very warm and heavy as they lingered on Josh's
belt and then undid it. He pulled it slowly from Josh's pants and then
threw it on the bed next to the tie. Josh could feel his cock straining
inside his pants; this felt so erotic.
Jed moved
around behind him, his fingers still sensuously fingering the collar of
Josh's shirt. Then he took hold of it and began to pull it from Josh's
shoulders. Josh's reaction was instinctive but it took him by surprise all
the same. He hunched forward and the moment the shirt was off his back he
crossed his arms over his naked chest.
"Hey,
what's this?" Jed asked softly, placing his hands on Josh's shoulders.
Josh jumped, suddenly feeling very exposed. Out of the corner of his eye
he saw Jed look at Leo for direction.
"Hands by
your side, Joshua," Leo ordered, stepping in to deal with the situation.
"And straighten up."
Josh took a deep breath and tried to do as ordered. He managed to get one
of his arms down by his side but the other one refused to budge. Jed
stroked his shoulders affectionately from behind and he felt reassured but
he still couldn't move his arm.
"Joshua?"
Leo got up out of the chair and came to stand in front of him. Jed stood
behind him, his hands resting casually but supportively on Josh's
shoulders. "I asked for your obedience, Joshua," Leo said softly but
firmly. "Is there a reason why you can't give it?"
Josh swallowed hard and nodded.
"What's going on?" Leo asked gently. He didn't touch Josh, but his blue
eyes were watchful and stern. Josh struggled with his reply. He felt Jed's
lips graze the back of his neck and relaxed a degree, but he still
couldn't escape from Leo's implacable gaze.
"Tell
us," Jed said softly. "It's okay." His mouth was warm and caressing on
Josh's neck and his tone was seductive. Josh gave a little laugh.
"This is
like good cop, bad cop," he said shakily. "You're scaring me into
submission and he's seducing me into it," he said to Leo gesturing with
his head over his shoulder in Jed's direction. He heard the President take
a sharp little intake of breath behind him.
"A word
to the wise," Jed whispered into his ear, although they could all hear him
well enough. "Remember to call him sir and please don't piss him off for
both our sakes. You won't like him when he's angry."
"I'm not
sure I like him right now anyway," Josh said defensively, still clutching
his arm to his chest. He could feel his vulnerability overwhelming him
again and he was lashing out as he always did when he felt like this.
Somehow he knew that he could lash out safely at Leo though; deep inside
he knew that Leo would catch him when he fell. Leo's blue eyes were
thoughtful but not angry as he surveyed Josh.
"Hmm, it
looks as if I've got two spirited subs," he commented. He reached out and
Josh drew back only to find himself stopped by Jed's powerful presence
behind him. He wasn't sure what he expected Leo to do but it wasn't what
he did do which was to gently place his hand on Josh's collar bone,
and then slide it down towards the arm that was covering his chest.
"I'm
sorry, sir," Josh whispered, grimacing. "I didn't mean to be rude and I do
want to obey you…I just – can't."
Leo gave
a wry chuckle. "Joshua – if you think you've got anything on Josiah here
when he's giving me trouble then you're deluded," he commented cheerfully.
"If I can handle him, which, incidentally, I can…" He gave Jed a knowing
look, "Then you aren't going to be any trouble at all." His fingers
slid onto the hand Josh had pressed against his chest and rested there.
"I know
what's under here, Joshua," he commented.
"It's
ugly," Josh told him angrily but he knew he was lying and that wasn't the
reason for his anger.
"No –
it's a badge of honour. You should wear it with pride," Leo told him. Josh
heard Jed give a little grunt of surprise as he realised what they were
talking about, and then the President slid his arms around Josh's waist
and rested his chin on Josh's shoulder, holding him tight, his body warm
and comforting.
"Hell,
Joshua, I've got a scar on my side that doesn't look too good either – and
you should see the deep scar Leo's got on his arm from when he was doing
his big war hero thing," Jed commented.
"I got it
in a fight in a bar in Thailand as you well know," Leo commented
grumpily.
"Where
you wouldn't have been if you hadn't been serving in the Air Force," Jed
reminded him.
"I'm not
sure I can do this," Josh whispered, tensing in case he heard that
familiar sound in his mind that would signal a flashback. He hadn't had
one for quite awhile, but he knew from experience that they could assault
him at the most unexpected and inconvenient moments. Josh was grateful for
Jed's arms around his body, keeping him there because otherwise he thought
he might have tried to leave. He'd had no idea that he'd feel this way
about his scar. Maybe it was the nature of the scrutiny that concerned him
– he'd been naked with a lover since the shooting at Rosslyn, but that had
been a matter of slipping between the sheets in the darkness. It was light
enough in this room to see the damn thing properly and he was standing
here as a goddamn plaything for god's sake. He hadn't even
considered that it might bother him to have people seeing and touching his
scar. It wasn't something he had ever paid a great deal of attention to –
it wasn't something that worried him in the normal course of events as
long as he could ignore it, but he didn't want people noticing it, was
concerned that such notice would lead to those terrible flashbacks, and
he'd be lost once again in the sensation of bullets ripping through his
body.
"You took
off your shirt two weeks ago – in the gym," Jed commented.
"It was
dark in the gym!" Josh replied heatedly. "I couldn't see the damn thing
there."
"Okay,
that's enough," Leo said warningly. He wrapped his fingers around Josh's
hand and squeezed, prying some of the tension out of it. "What's more
important – that you can see it or that we can?" He asked perceptively.
"I…" Josh
shook his head. "Me," he sighed.
"Okay…so
don't look." Leo's fingers massaged his hand soothingly, prying it loose.
"Joshua…let him," Jed murmured.
"I won't
turn off the lights for you, Joshua," Leo told him firmly. Josh wasn't
sure how long he could hold out against the loving voice behind him and
the stern gaze in front of him.
"Let it
happen, Joshua," Jed said in a low voice into Josh's ear. "Let it go."
"It…"
Josh stamped his foot on the ground, angry with himself for this mattering
so much. "I lied, Leo," he said, his hand faltering as Leo insistently
insinuated his own beneath it, pushing it away. "It's not the way it looks
– I don't give a damn about that. I just don't like it being noticed in
case I start remembering again. I don’t want to lose control the way I did
before. I don't mind giving up control but I don't want to lose it…if that
makes sense." It was a hard thing to explain and he found himself
resenting that he had to.
"Why do
you think you might lose control, Joshua?" Leo asked, finally managing,
without any force at all, by dint of pure, gentle persistence, to dislodge
Josh's hand. Josh gave a sigh and let his arm fall to his side. Leo put
his own hand over the scar, replacing Josh's, and held it there, obscuring
the scar from sight.
"I didn't
have any control over what was going on in my own mind," Josh told them,
grateful for Jed's reassuring steadfastness behind him, holding him up,
shielding him almost from the intensity of Leo's blue-eyed gaze. "That's
what scared me. Sometimes if I feel the edges of the scar I can remember
what it felt like when it was happening and then I'm back there again. I
can feel the skin exploding, feel the heat of my blood on my chest…" Josh
fought back the memory, not wanting this right now. "I just prefer not to
think about it in case I make an idiot of myself again – kind of like I'm
doing right now." He made a face.
"Do you
want to stop, Josh?" Leo asked softly, and Josh was very aware of the
change in his name.
"No, damnit. I don't!" He retorted, furious with himself for having let
this happen.
"Then you
need to trust us and you need to submit to us. Can you do that?" Leo
asked. There was silence for a moment while Josh considered this. "Or do
you want me to make you?" Leo asked softly and astutely a few seconds
later.
Josh fought with himself for a moment, hating the damn scar and all it
stood for – which as far as he was concerned was his own weakness and
inability to deal with something that other people managed to deal with;
hell, the President had been shot too but he wasn't standing here making
this kind of a big issue out of it.
"Please,
Leo," he said desperately, hanging limply in Jed's arms. "Make me," he
whispered.
"Stop
fighting us then, Joshua," Leo told him firmly, taking control
effortlessly in response to Josh's need. Josh nodded and bit down hard on
his lip, grateful to Leo for taking over so decisively. Leo removed his
hand from Josh's body and Josh found his arms crossing defensively over
his chest again, despite himself.
"Josiah –
Joshua seems to be having trouble obeying our orders. I think some special
measures are called for. If he won't keep his hands where we tell him to,
then we'll have to tie them," Leo said firmly.
Josh
gazed at Leo in admiration, feeling utterly relieved by this solution to
the problem. He wanted to obey, and this way he'd have no choice.
He watched as Leo handed Jed his own tie from the bed. Jed ran his hands
down Josh's arms, and then, gently but firmly pulled them back behind his
body.
Josh put
up just the slightest bit of resistance, but Jed's hands were strong and
commanding on his wrists and it felt good to submit to them. Josh gave a
sigh of total relief as his hands were fastened behind his back. He was
also relieved that Leo hadn't made a big thing of looking at the scar or
touching it – he wasn't sure he'd have been able to bear that. As it was,
Leo just ignored it, which was the best thing he could have done in the
circumstances.
"Thank
you, Jed. Thank you, sir," he whispered in a heartfelt tone. Leo nodded to
him and Josh couldn't stop himself leaning towards him, wanting to feel
Leo's hands on his body again, hoping against hope that Leo would put him
out of his misery and kiss him, but Leo just stepped back, and sat down on
the armchair again. Josh sighed and rocked back on his heels. Damn but he
wanted that kiss so much.
Jed
resumed undressing him. He came around to stand in front of Josh again,
and undid his pants. Josh took a sharp intake of breath although he was
less worried about losing his pants than he had been about revealing his
scar. That moment was over though – and Josh felt much more relaxed now
that his hands were tied behind him. It was so much easier surrendering to
the President removing his pants when he couldn't resist. Josh couldn't
believe that this was actually happening to him; the President was close
enough to kiss, and Josh could smell the other man's scent emanating from
his shirt. He suddenly wanted to laugh – this must look ridiculous; the
President, fully clothed, slowly undressing his Deputy Chief of Staff like
this. He knew that Leo had told him he wasn't to refer to Jed Bartlet as
the President while they were in this room but he couldn't help
thinking of the man in those terms. Two weeks ago it had seemed much
simpler. Then he had just been punished by this man, as he'd deserved, and
somehow that hadn't even seemed strange – it had just felt peculiarly
right…but now this same man was undressing him so lovingly and this
definitely did feel strange. He remembered how the President – Jed
– had asked him at the time why it was so much easier to accept a whipping
than a hug and he hadn't known the answer; it just was. He was still
confused by it.
"What are
you thinking, Joshua?" Leo asked him as Jed knelt down in front of him and
began undoing his shoes. Josh shifted, nervously – it felt very wrong that
this man should kneel in front of him, either in his role as President of
the United States or as his top, even if it was just to remove his shoes.
"Uh…I was thinking that Jed shouldn't be kneeling because he's the top and
I was thinking…" Josh paused and coloured.
"Joshua," Leo said in a warning tone, reminding him of his promise of
total honesty.
"I was
thinking of what the Pr…what Jed did to me in the gym two weeks ago, and
that being punished is easier than being…" He hesitated, unsure how to
describe the eroticism of being tied and so slowly and lovingly
undressed.
"He had a
problem with me hugging him a couple of weeks ago," Jed said, nudging Josh
to make him lift up one of his feet so he could remove the shoe and sock.
Josh balanced awkwardly for a second, his tied hands making it hard to
stay upright.
"You two
are just as bad as each other," Leo sighed wearily. "I don't know what it
is about you that you'll endure a severe whipping but find it hard to
accept a gesture of affection. However, it's the not way I do things and
I'm in charge around here, Joshua so you'll just have to get used to that
the same way Josiah has had to get used to it."
"Oh yeah
– I'd recommend you get used to it really fast, Joshua," Jed told him,
finishing with his shoes and socks and standing up with a wink at his new
sub. "Leo can be a total hard ass about this – you'll find yourself
upended almost constantly and your ass paying the price if you're slow in
learning this particular lesson," he grinned. Josh wrestled for a moment
with the mental image of the President upended and at the mercy of his
Chief of Staff. He wondered if he'd see a demonstration of their unique
role reversal in action in a more physical way tonight and realised, with
a secret thrill, that he hoped he would.
"Joshua –
a couple of weeks ago you were being punished for something you felt bad
about and that made you feel better didn't it?" Leo asked, casting a
severe glance in Jed's direction. Josh knew that it definitely had not
gone unnoticed that the President had just called him by his first name
and that Jed would pay for that later.
"Yes,
sir." Josh nodded, answering Leo's question.
"I know
Josiah told you at the time that the punishment was for you because you
wanted it and not because he thought you deserved to be whipped," Leo
continued. Josh nodded again.
"He made
that pretty clear."
"Okay.
So, you've had a pretty good day today, Joshua, although admittedly it's
been a rough week. Is there anything you feel you should be punished for?"
Leo continued. Josh thought about it and then shook his head.
"Well,
apart from not obeying you earlier," he said, flushing.
"We
worked that one out." Leo shrugged. "I'm not punishing you for that."
"He's
nicer to you than he is to me," Jed told Josh conspiratorially. "He
punishes me for every single, tiny, little thing I've done wrong and when
I haven't done anything wrong he makes something up."
"No I
don't, Josiah, and I'll be punishing you for that smart mouth of yours
very comprehensively later," Leo said with a click of impatience in his
tone. Jed grinned and gave Josh a 'see what I have to put up with?' look
although he didn't seem too downcast at the prospect of the imminent
punishment. "Okay, Joshua - I don't think any punishment is in order, do
you?" Leo questioned. Josh thought about it and then shook his head,
wondering if he looked as disconsolate as he felt. He didn't feel the
need to be punished the way he had a couple of weeks ago, but it was
part of his most cherished fantasies that these two men would spank him so
he didn't know how to reconcile those two facts.
"I think
what Leo is trying to say," Jed said, standing behind Josh and looping his
fingers into Josh's boxer shorts. "Is that we'd like to play with our sub
and one of the ways we'd like to play with him is by giving him a nice,
long spanking." He grinned. "Not for punishment," he purred, in those low,
dark tones he'd used a couple of weeks ago, "but because you're our toy,
Joshua, and it would please us to spank this ass of yours." And so saying
he stripped Josh of his boxer shorts. Josh stepped out of them, flushing
slightly to now be completely naked. Jed seemed pleased though, and after
throwing Josh's shorts onto the bed he returned to Josh and touched him
lightly again, running his hands over Josh's arms and then around to his
back. He traced a finger down Josh's spine, ending up at his ass and Josh
gave a little squawk as Jed's hands caressed his buttocks. He stepped
forward, surprised.
"Joshua!"
Leo's voice rang out from in front of him. "Your…" He hesitated, glanced
at Jed with a mischievous look in his eyes, and then continued, "Master
wants to play with his new sub. Stand still and let him."
"Yes, sir." Josh swallowed hard. This was the most delicious tension he'd
ever experienced in his life. Being made to stand still and accept the
most intimate caresses of this man he worshipped, while the other man he
worshipped sat and watched. Only his own embarrassment made him want to
move away. He took a deep breath and relaxed as Jed continued to fondle
his now naked body. He was aware that he was already hard but neither of
his new masters commented on that and he didn't see how that could be
anything other than a tribute to them anyway. Jed didn't touch his cock
but he did however caress Josh's ass for a long time, kneading slapping
and generally playing. Josh found he was enjoying himself. He still felt
slightly ridiculous but he loved being the centre of their attention and
it felt good to be ordered to surrender – it took away his brain's
incessant need to interfere and generally get in the way and put up
obstacles. He had to stand still because he had no choice and that meant
he got to do what he wanted to do anyway, and didn't have to angst about
it into the bargain because he had no control over what was happening.
That was the most liberating feeling he'd ever experienced.
"I think
it's time to spank this ass now," Jed whispered in his ear and the dark,
erotic tone thrilled Josh to his core. He glanced over at Leo, who was
still sitting impassively in the armchair, watching everything. It felt
twice as erotic knowing that one of these men would spank him while the
other watched. "Come with me, Joshua," Jed invited silkily and Josh
swallowed hard and did as ordered. He followed Jed over to the large trunk
at the foot of the bed, his arms still tied behind his back. "Kneel down,
boy," Jed said in those same dark, rich tones. Josh sank willingly to his
knees and a second later felt Jed's hand on his hair, caressing him and
rewarding him for his instant obedience.
"Here. You'll need this." Leo threw Jed a key and Jed missed it – which
drew an audible sigh from Leo. Jed grinned and retrieved the key from the
floor, then crouched down in front of the chest. He touched it, almost
reverently, with his finger in a way that made Josh think that he wasn't
usually allowed to touch it at all, and then glanced at his sub.
"You don't ever get to touch this trunk, Joshua – understood?" He said.
Josh
nodded, his throat going dry.
"Okay, I'm going to show you what's inside and then we'll decide which of
the many implements that Leo has collected over the past year will make
the best impact on your ass." Jed grinned and Josh had the distinct
feeling that he was enjoying himself enormously. He had always known that
the President had dramatic tendencies and wasn't at all surprised to see
him imbuing the trunk with this kind of build up. He wondered what Leo was
making of Jed's performance but when he glanced over at the armchair he
found Leo's expression as inscrutable as always.
Jed
unlocked the trunk and Josh gazed in something akin to amazement at its
contents. The President and Leo had amassed a wide assortment of paddles,
straps and crops; Josh had a strange reality check as he wondered how the
hell they had bought all this stuff. Clearly the President couldn't have
done the shopping so he guessed that Leo had but even that blew his mind.
He wondered briefly if Leo had gone online to purchase these items as he
couldn't ever imagine Leo McGarry standing in a sex shop calmly discussing
the merits of a leather paddle over a wooden one with a store assistant.
"Impressed?" Jed asked with a laugh in his voice at the expression in
Josh's eyes.
"You have no idea how impressed," Josh commented, with a cheeky grin.
"Please tell me you didn't buy these yourself."
"No, of course not. Leo's the one who seems to think we need all
this stuff," Jed replied, a note of complaint in his voice. "I don't know
why as his belt does the job quite effectively enough." He grimaced. "I
can only think he just enjoys tormenting me with the sight of some new
implement of torture. I think he gets a thrill out of it," he confided.
"Not
nearly as much of a thrill as I get out of putting them to good use," Leo
commented dryly from the armchair. "Josiah – I think it's time we put the
boy out of his misery, don't you?" He added, nodding in Josh's direction.
Josh, meanwhile, remained utterly transfixed by the sight of the assorted
implements in the trunk. He didn't see any bondage equipment or sex toys
and guessed that those didn't play a part in whatever games the President
played with his Chief of Staff on a Friday evening. He wasn't sure how he
felt about that – his own fantasies were liberally peppered with all kinds
of equipment but he got the feeling that their own interaction was enough
for Leo and Jed – they didn't need any other kinds of paraphernalia. In
fact, Josh doubted that they even needed the contents of this trunk; as
Jed had pointed out, Leo's belt almost certainly did as effective a job as
any of these implements and yet…having seen Jed in action, and having
noticed the way he liked to push his top, Josh thought he understood why
Leo had bought them. It couldn't be easy mastering someone like Josiah
Bartlet, and Leo had clearly decided that he needed more weapons at his
disposal than just his own will – fierce and unyielding though Josh
suspected that will was. All the same, having something else in his
armoury, something that Jed might find visually arresting, had to go some
way towards quelling even the most argumentative and teasing of subs.
"Okay –
you can choose one and I'll choose one," Josiah said, standing back so
that Josh could get a good look at the contents of the trunk. "I'll use
them both on your ass so be careful what you choose. Now, I'm going to
untie you – are you going to be okay with that?"
Josh
nodded, resolving to concentrate on the trunk in front of him and ignore
his scar. Jed knelt behind him and quickly removed the tie and Josh gazed
at the contents of the trunk like a child in a chocolate factory as he
made his decision. He suspected that, unlike Jed, he imbued these
implements with a sense of eroticism. He got the feeling that Jed had more
of a love/hate relationship with them – he didn't like the idea that
they'd be used on his ass and that he'd have no choice in that, but at the
same time he needed Leo to use them. Josh had a different attitude towards
his own submission – he wanted it badly and he saw being spanked as part
of it; he found the idea of surrendering and allowing his masters to spank
him or play with him intensely erotic, no matter how much it might hurt.
In fact, the pain rendered his own submission all the more erotic and
thrilling because he was offering himself up to this, willingly giving
himself to his masters. He suspected that Jed had a different relationship
with these implements and his own punishments; he needed them to take him
down to a level where he could switch off and enjoy himself, and these
crops and paddles and straps helped him get there, but he didn't like
surrendering, didn't yearn for it the way Josh did. He needed it and
wanted it but the process was hard for him. For Josh, the process was
everything and he loved the thought of it.
"I'd like
this." Josh reached into the trunk and touched the handle of a shining,
sleek, black leather paddle.
"Joshua!" Leo's voice rang out. "Don't touch unless you're given
permission," Leo told him. Josh pulled his hand back as if he'd been
stung.
"Sorry, sir," he said quickly. Jed put a reassuring hand in Josh's hair
and stroked, something he was profoundly grateful for. It was strange how
heightened his emotions were in this situation. He wouldn't normally have
found Leo's sharp tone alarming but kneeling here, butt naked and
submissive, everything was different and his own responses and feelings
were much more acute.
"Joshua,
this paddle has not been a friend to me," Jed told him, picking up the
paddle and waving it in the air in a slightly alarming fashion. "It's one
of Leo's nastier toys. It stings and it's heavy. It's undoubtedly one of
the most painful implements in this trunk. You can choose something else
if you'd like."
"No. I'm
fine with the paddle," Josh murmured, colouring slightly. He wanted this
to count. Who knew if they'd ever invite him back? He didn't want to wimp
out of any part of this experience.
"Okay."
Jed nodded, placing the paddle on the bed. "Now it's my turn." He spent a
long time considering the contents of the trunk, until Josh thought he
would expire from the sheer tension of the moment. Jed seemed blissfully
unaware of his sub's torment though – or maybe he was just skilfully
stoking it up. Jed's fingers toyed with an extremely nasty looking cane
and Josh held his breath…then Jed passed on and his hand alighted instead
on a sturdy suede flogger. "I think this will do," he announced, holding
it under Josh's nose for his inspection. Josh couldn't help himself – he
leaned forward and buried his face in the flogger, inhaling the suede
smell, and then he kissed it reverentially. Jed looked both surprised and
pleased by his sub's reaction, but Leo was less impressed.
"Joshua,
what part of 'don't touch unless you're given permission' didn't you
understand?" He asked, standing up and crossing the room towards them.
Josh gave a muffled squeak of anxiety, not entirely sure what Leo intended
to do to him for his infraction of the rules but Leo just stood in front
of him, arms folded across his chest, gazing down on his sub's sub
sternly. Jed put his hand gently in Josh's hair, and then pulled his head
back so that Josh was gazing up at both his masters in a blind panic.
"I think you should answer him," Jed murmured.
"I'm
sorry, sir. I forgot," Josh said quickly, his voice sounding suspiciously
like a squeak to his own ears.
"Is this
what you call obedience?" Leo demanded.
"I just
forgot!" Josh protested, angry with himself.
"Well,
Joshua, we were going to give you a nice, light spanking this first time
but as you've been disobedient, Josiah will administer ten hard strokes
with the paddle to help you remember better in future," Leo ordered.
Josh felt
a thrill start in his stomach and fizz all the way through his body at
those words. Leo's blue eyes were hard and forceful and he felt utterly in
thrall to him. Jed's hand was still entangled in his hair, keeping his
head back, and Josh had never felt more ecstatically submissive in his
entire life than he did to these two men at this moment in time. It was a
good feeling – it was everything he had fantasised about.
"Now – I don't want to tie you again for this," Leo said thoughtfully.
"But I'm not sure if we can trust you to hold position. So, I'm going to
hold you in place while Josiah delivers your punishment."
Leo sat down on the side of the bed, and glanced at Josh.
"Remove
my shoes, Joshua," he ordered. Jed pushed his sub forward and Josh eagerly
removed Leo's shoes, lingering perhaps a little too long over the shiny
black leather as he undid the laces and then slipped them from Leo's feet.
Then Leo arranged some pillows against the headboard and sat back, leaning
against them. "Okay – come here, Joshua," he ordered. Josh got on the bed
and knelt between Leo's open legs, unsure where he should position
himself. Leo grabbed a few more pillows and arranged them on his lap, and
then he beckoned Josh forward. Josh went, easily submitting to being put
into position by the older man. Leo pulled him so that Josh was lying with
his head on Leo's chest, and then Leo wrapped his arms around Josh's upper
body and his ankles around Josh's legs, effectively imprisoning him. Josh
felt uncomfortable – not because of th |
