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Posted: 2nd April, 1999.
Danni, my Requited friends, and Sean Spencer's wonderful pic were all
inspirations for this piece of schmoop.
Hair
By Xanthe
"Walter
?"
"Hmm?"
"How old were you when you lost your
hair?" Mulder balanced himself on one elbow, and gazed at his lover.
"About four. Why?" Skinner grunted.
"Four?" Mulder sat up halfway, his eyes
bright with interest. "Four?" he repeated incredulously.
"Yes, Mulder. Four. I have the photos to
prove it. In fact, it's a moot point whether I ever actually had much hair." Skinner
opened his eyes, and looked down at the other man. "I had a crew cut when I was six
and I have a photo of that which definitely shows a receding hairline. I was always
folically challenged. Even when I had hair it was weak and thin, not luxuriant like
this." Skinner reached out a large, weary hand, and lazily ruffled his lover's thick
mop of hair. Mulder leaned into the caress, making a rumbling, sighing noise that sounded
suspiciously like a purr.
They were lying on Skinner's bed. It was late on
a hazy summer afternoon, and they'd been out in the field for three days, unable to talk
properly, or to kiss, or even to touch. Mulder hadn't slept in all that time - somehow,
without Skinner's large, reassuring presence beside him in the bed, sleep had eluded him.
It had been a long time since he'd had to sleep alone. Skinner hadn't slept much either,
but that was because he had been busy directing one of the largest FBI operations in
recent memory, with hundreds of agents, and a voracious media circus attached. All Mulder
had been able to do was devour his lover with his eyes, watching from the rank and file as
Skinner gave orders, dealt with the relentless press inquiries, fielded phone calls from
the Director, and ultimately resolved the case with as few casualties as possible. In
short, he had performed a tough job with his usual efficiency and attention to detail.
Now it was over. They had stumbled home, grabbed
a beer, then, by unspoken agreement, wearily climbed the stairs to the bedroom. Skinner
had fallen where he stood, hitting the bed with a definitive sigh that said "I'm not
getting up again." He had laid back, undone the top button on his shirt, pulled his
tie off, and rolled it into a little ball, placing it neatly on the night stand. For his
part, Mulder had quickly shuffled his shoes, jacket, and tie onto the floor, and clambered
onto the opposite end of the bed, his head by the foot board - all the better to see his
lover.
So now they just lay there, side by side: too hot
to move, too tired to sleep, too exhausted to discuss the case, or anything else of
significance.
"How come then..." Mulder began,
chewing on his bottom lip in contemplation, "...how come, if you don't have any hair
on your head, you have so much on your chest?" He leaned forward and snagged open a
button on Skinner's shirt, which was half-way out of his pants, ran his fingers through
his lover's copious, wiry chest hair with a contented little sigh.
"I don't know." Skinner murmured, idly
wondering why it was so hard to switch off Mulder's questioning mind, and then thinking to
himself that he wouldn't really want to. Well, only sometimes.
"I, on the other hand..." Mulder pulled
his own shirt out of his pants, unbuttoned it a little way, and examined his sparse chest
hair, sadly, "don't."
"No." Skinner agreed.
"Hardly any to speak of. Zilch." Mulder
shook his head, mournfully. "Tiny tufts
"
"Yes. I know," Skinner interrupted,
wondering just how many different ways Mulder was going to find to express this particular
truth about himself.
"I could buy a body wig," Mulder
suggested.
"You could - but then I'd have to kill
you," Skinner muttered.
"True." Mulder nodded sagely. "You
could buy a toupe."
"You don't like me bald?" Skinner
raised his head a fraction, and opened one eye, glanced down at his lover.
Mulder considered the question for a moment.
"Of course I do..." he began. Skinner sighed, and laid his head back down again,
sensing a long monologue. "I just wondered what it would be like to stroke you, the
way you stroke me. Like I'm a cat..."
"You purr like a cat." Skinner
murmured, interrupting before Mulder could reach full flow. "Did you know that you
can get bald cats? They're called sphinxes or something."
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why are they called sphinxes?" Mulder
asked.
"I don't know," Skinner shrugged,
feeling tired down to the very marrow of his bones. "I just thought it was relevant
to the conversation. I'm not an expert or anything."
"Oh." Mulder seemed disappointed.
"I'd like to have a hairless cat, to go with my hairless man."
"I'm not hairless. We've just established
that I have chest hair. That should be enough to satisfy your stroking fixation."
"Anyway," Mulder continued, ignoring
him, "like I said, I like you bald. When you're bald, you don't age. You see, if I
lost my hair, I'd look old. Whereas you - you'll always look the same age, forever and
ever."
"Amen." Skinner finished, definitively,
he hoped.
"Even when you're very old." Mulder
added, unnecessarily.
"Mulder, have you never heard of
companionable silences?" Skinner asked.
"Only as an abstract concept." Mulder
grinned.
He contemplated his lover for a moment. Skinner
looked nice disheveled, he decided. He liked the large expanse of untidy white shirt, the
way it rode up to reveal a tiny, tantalising portion of muscled midriff. Skinner's naked
scalp was resting on the dark navy pillow, his thick neck and broad shoulders taking up an
inordinate amount of bed space. Mulder felt small and supple beside him, although he knew
that was silly as they were almost the same height. Still, Skinner was imposing, and
he...wasn't. "Do you suppose, that if I worked out for like, months and months and
months...I'd be as big as you?" he asked, idly caressing the leg of Skinner's pants,
and tracing a line of hard muscle underneath.
"No." Skinner found one of Mulder's
hands, covered it with his own, played with the fingers.
"Why not?"
"For the same reason as the hair."
Skinner grunted.
"Which is?"
"Genetics." Skinner flexed his
shoulders as best he could, trying to ease the kink that had been bothering him for the
past 24 hours.
"Ah." Mulder took hold of one of
Skinner's knees, and levered it into an arched position, then leaned his back against it
so that he didn't have to keep craning his neck to look at his lover. "You smell of
sweat and beer," he commented.
"And you smell of cheese." Skinner
wrinkled up his nose in the direction of Mulder's feet, which were lying just a few inches
away from his face.
"Why do feet smell of cheese?" Mulder
speculated idly, "and why do you always sleep on the right hand side of the
bed?"
"Feet - dunno. Right hand side of the bed -
habit. Also, maybe, because it's nearer the door so I can hear you when you sneak out to
indulge your couch-&-porn habit downstairs in the middle of the night."
"Hmph." Mulder pinched Skinner's thigh.
"All right then. Why don't you wear that nice garnet silk shirt in your closet? You'd
look nice in that color, and why does your office have two doors, and if you were an
animal, what sort of animal would you be? Or car? Or bird?"
"Mulder." Skinner's fingers tightened
warningly around Mulder's wrist. "What's with the questions?"
"Just pondering out loud," Mulder
grinned, thinking that Skinner looked handsome with his lightly tanned face framed against
the pillow. He loved to study the other man's broad, flat features, and the wide sweeping
plains of his forehead and cheekbones. He especially loved Skinner's currently
well-stubbled expanse of jaw. Mulder frowned. Skinner looked tired - the charcoal depths
of his brown eyes were sunk in dark shadows.
"Such tiny, itsy bitsy, questions."
Skinner commented wearily.
"Yes, but you see - there are too many big
questions in the universe, and no answers to them either." Mulder sighed, looking
suddenly very young, and lost, and utterly forlorn. "Sometimes it's easier just to
think about the little ones," he whispered.
"Ah. Yes." Skinner's fingers resumed
their soft, spidering play across Mulder's hand, and his expression became visibly tender
as he gazed at his lover. "Well, continue with your plague of questions then."
He gave a small, loving smile. "I'll do my best to answer."
"No. Your turn now," Mulder smiled
back, rested his hand on Skinner's stomach, and undid one more button on Skinner's shirt,
allowing his fingers to curl loosely against Skinner's tautly muscled torso.
Skinner was silent for a long, long time. Mulder
closed his eyes, laid his head back on Skinner's knee, and waited. And waited. Finally,
wondering if Skinner had fallen asleep, he opened his eyes to find his lover still gazing
at him. "Well?" he asked. "Don't you have any questions?"
"Only one," Skinner said quietly.
"I ask it all the time and I've never yet figured out an answer to it."
"Well? What is it?" Mulder asked,
dreamily, his eyes closing again. Skinner's knee felt warm and solid against his back.
"Why you're here. With me. What did I do to
deserve this? What do you see in this old, bald guy?" He ran a rueful hand over his
head.
Mulder opened his eyes.
"Oh. That." He said. He toppled
forward, snaked his way up the bed until his face was level with Skinner's, and then he
touched his lips softly to his lover's warm, smooth, hairless scalp, his forehead, his
nose, and finally ended up at his mouth.
"Some questions are easily answered,"
he said.
THE END.
Feedback always cherished at
Xanthe@xanthe.org
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