Beautiful pic courtesy of cdavis
Posted 17th September, 2000.
Note: Like Chris Carter, I'm using whichever
pieces of canon I feel like using, and ignoring the rest
J
Huge thanks to Phoebe for fantastic beta
reading help. Any mistakes are all mine.
For Lisby
Future
Perfect: Part Two
By
Xanthe
Skinner wasn’t sure how he stayed upright for the next hour. His life for
the past few years had been one of such chaos; always on the run, always
fighting, and hiding, followed by the trauma of his capture, and the unreal
gilded cage of his imprisonment. To find himself suddenly shoe-horned into
this suit, and brought here to await the Qundi overlord he was to serve, and
then to find himself looking into the face of his old subordinate, a man he
had such confusing and conflicting feelings towards, was too much for his
overworked senses to take in. He was faint from being too anxious to eat for
the past few days, and, although he was in better shape than he had been
before the Qundi captured him, he was still weak. Somehow he'd just never
gained the weight he should have done in the camps, and he'd been tired all
the time just doing nothing - this sudden injection of excitement was more
than his lean, exhausted frame could withstand.
It was also hot, and he’d been on his feet for too long. The stench of
excited Qundi was raw in his throat, and burnt his eyes. He struggled against
the urge to cough up his lungs, and could hear his breathing coming in
wheezing rasps. His legs were barely holding him up. There was too much noise,
too many prostrating Qundi, bowing at Mulder’s feet, parting in front of the
younger man as if he were Moses walking through the Red Sea. Skinner couldn’t
take it all in, but Mulder seemed unfazed by it. He smiled, and bowed to the
Qundi in return, a graceful movement that looked as if it was borne of long
practice. Skinner couldn’t begin to guess what Mulder’s relationship with
their oppressors was. This
situation was all too new to him, too unexpected.
The Qundi were welcoming their new Overlord by turning a dizzying
kaleidoscope of skin tones, and their skin dripped with moisture in the sun; a
reflex that mimicked sweat, and which made Skinner’s own sweat glands work
overtime as he reacted to the odor. He fought back a tide of nausea, and tried
to concentrate on just walking as Mulder swept through the crowd of gathered
Qundi and humans, until he reached the center of the gathering, and then he
came to a halt in front of a delegation of twelve Qundi, and bowed formally to
the alien at its apex. This was obviously someone important, judging by Mulder’s
display of deference. The alien emitted a sonic hum in greeting, and Skinner
let out a hoarse shout of warning as it stepped forward, and laid its tendrils
firmly on Mulder’s arms.
“It’s all right, Walter,” Mulder murmured
in a placating tone, placing his own hands on the Qundi’s flesh, on either
side of the row of orbs that Skinner had assumed were eyes. Skinner swallowed
hard, fighting down his impulse to retch. He had never seen a human
voluntarily touch one of the Qundi before, and he found the sight disturbing.
Mulder didn’t seem to be suffering any discomfort though. His eyes became
glazed, and his skin took on a greenish hue, but apart from that he didn’t
look as if he were in any distress. Skinner glanced around: there were Qundi
everywhere - he couldn’t even risk striking out in order to protect the
other man, and, if he was honest, Mulder didn’t look in need of protection
right now. In fact, Mulder’s face was quite animated; he nodded, and smiled,
and had every appearance of being in conversation – except for the fact that
his lips weren’t moving. Skinner felt his grip on reality grow more tenuous
with every passing second, and the burning in his throat becoming even more
unbearable, until, finally, the ‘conversation’ was over, and the Qundi and
Mulder both released their grasp on each other. Mulder didn’t crumple to the
ground, as Skinner had half expected – and as was usual following a
conversation with the Qundi. Instead he merely stepped back, and smiled at
Skinner, still glowing faintly green around his eyes and hairline. Skinner
steeled himself to stay upright, but he felt like crumpling in Mulder’s
stead. His knees were trembling, and his head was pounding. His chest felt as
if it was being squeezed by tight iron bands. These symptoms weren't new, but
they were more acute than he'd ever felt them before, and he could feel
himself swaying.
“You’re tired, Walter. I’m sorry,”
Mulder said softly, placing a hand on Skinner’s shoulder. Skinner couldn’t
stop himself from flinching. He knew where that hand had just been, and he
could still smell the Qundi stench on Mulder’s flesh. A flash of pain passed
through Mulder’s eyes, and he withdrew his hand. Skinner swallowed hard, and
his throat constricted, sending him into a bout of the racking cough that had
been plaguing him for several months. He was good at hiding it - he'd been
hiding it from Scully for a long time - but he was at the end of his physical
endurance, and he didn't know how long he could keep his tenuous grip on
consciousness. Mulder's eyes were worried, and he was frowning. He turned, and
said something to the assembled crowd, causing them to disperse, the Qundi
drifting gracefully away across the grass with the few humans following on
behind. Mulder turned back to Skinner, placed an arm around the big man's
heaving shoulders, and escorted him up the lawn towards the White House.
“Shit, we’re not…” Skinner looked at the
mansion, and then at Mulder, who shrugged.
“The Qundi are a symbolic race. They insisted,”
he murmured, looking faintly embarrassed. “Come on, Walter. You’re in no
condition to be standing here. I had no idea you were this ill. Nobody told
me.”
“What else didn’t they tell you, Mulder?”
Skinner asked, but there was no time for a reply, as his dry, burned throat
spasmed, and he was silenced by wave after wave of vicious coughing that
exhausted him, and finally drove him to his knees, where he stayed, struggled
for air.
“You need medicine. There’s an infirmary in
the Qundi compound on the other side of the White House. I’ll take you
there,” Mulder said urgently. Skinner nodded, still gasping for air, holding
out his hands for Mulder to help him to his feet, but instead, much to his
profound horror, he found himself being swung up into a strong pair of arms,
and then his feet were lifted from the ground, and he was being carried. He
looked, surprised, into Mulder’s laughing hazel eyes.
"It’s all right, Walter. I won’t drop
you – you’re quite safe.” Mulder grinned.
“How did you…You’re not…?” Skinner
glanced down at the ground, disorientated by the position he was in – a
position which he could quite safely say he hadn't been in since he was a
small child, nestled in another man’s arms, being carried for god’s
sake. How the hell had Mulder gotten this strong? Even in his current less
than perfect physical condition, Skinner was sure he was still at least
fifteen pounds heavier than the other man, and he was too tall, and ungainly,
to easily fit into Mulder’s arms, and yet Mulder was carrying him
effortlessly, as if he were no weight at all.
“Chalk it up to gravity, Walter – and clean
living,” Mulder added with a wink.
“I can fucking walk. Put me down,” Skinner
growled.
“You can’t walk. You can’t even stand,”
Mulder told him calmly. “Now stop being such a macho bastard and let me
carry you.”
“I am not being macho, I just object to being
carried when I’m perfectly capable of doing it myself. I’m not a fucking
invalid, I’m just…” Skinner’s torrent of protests came to a gasping
halt, his chest heaving with the effort of talking.
"Just in the middle of severe breathing
difficulties. Exactly,” Mulder said with a grin, striding easily into a
hallway, and along a corridor. Skinner didn’t even have a chance to look
around their grand surroundings because Mulder was walking so fast, and he had
to swallow his pride and put his arms around the other man’s neck to prevent
himself from falling.
“That’s better,” Mulder commented, a
trifle smugly, Skinner thought.
“Oh shit. Kill me now,” Skinner muttered,
holding on for dear life, and closing his eyes to shut out the appalling
humiliation of being carried through the White House in Fox Mulder’s arms as
if he were a child. He felt so tired, and he had to admit that it felt good to
be taken care of finally, after so many years of taking care of everyone else.
He had never had the opportunity to be weak while they had been fighting the
Qundi. People had needed him too much. Even towards the end, when this cough
had kept him awake most nights, and he had been hiding the bloody rags he used
as handkerchiefs so that Scully wouldn't find out - even then he hadn't given
in to his illness. Now, finally, he felt as if he was relinquishing a great
weight, handing over the baton to Mulder, and it was such a relief. He let his
head loll against Mulder’s neck, and smelled the reassuring human scent of
Mulder’s skin, felt the softness of Mulder’s hair against his cheek. He
was too tired to even be surprised when he felt Mulder’s lips press against
the side of his face - and then he lost consciousness.
Skinner was dimly aware of waking briefly in one
of the trademark Qundi white rooms. He was coughing badly, and as he retched
into his hand, he saw a bright red stain of blood staining his fingers.
Panicking, he tried to breathe, and heard a dull, rasping wheeze rattle inside
his chest. The room was spinning, and someone was holding him down, talking to
him, trying to calm him. A Qundi loomed over him, and he kicked out, panicking
badly now. Something pressed against his arm, and then everything went black.
He woke up in bed. Not just any bed, but an
enormous four-poster bed in a huge room, with wide, airy windows, and
exquisite décor and furnishings.
“Tell me I’m not where I think I am,” he
muttered blearily.
“You’re not where you think you are,” a
voice said obligingly, from a position very close to his right cheek. He
turned his face, and saw Mulder sitting on the bed beside him, his long legs
stretched out in front of him, and his fingers endlessly changing the channels
on the television remote control with restless quicksilver flicks.
“Really?” Skinner raised himself up on his
elbows, and glanced around. If this wasn’t the Master Bedroom in the White
House then it sure as hell should have been. It was big enough, and grand
enough.
“No, I lied. Is it my imagination or has
television really gone downhill since I left?” Mulder said, frowning
absently.
“There isn’t any TV. Or at least, there’s
only the kind of TV the Qundi want us to watch – which is endless repeats of
The Brady Bunch and old sports games,” Skinner growled.
“Ah, well, that makes sense.” Mulder nodded
sagely. He smiled at Skinner’s look of total incomprehension. “They’d
approve of The Brady Bunch – several humans living an ordered
existence in a small, confined space and working for the good of the family
unit. Added to that the Qundian symmetry of the fact that there are three sets
of three individuals in the unit, and they’re happy.”
Skinner’s expression had gone from bemused to incredulous.
“And the sports?” He raised an eyebrow.
"The Qundi don’t really understand competitive
games,” Mulder explained sheepishly. “They
might not have gotten the point of them. I suspect it’s all team games:
football, baseball, that kind of stuff? No individual sports, like tennis,
swimming, or track and field?”
Skinner nodded dumbly, still not entirely sure that he was having this
conversation. Of all the things he might have imagined talking about with his
old subordinate as soon as they were alone, sports wasn't one of them.
“Makes sense.” Mulder smiled. “As for them
being repeats - they probably haven’t figured out that it’s a lot less
interesting when you already know the result, unless it’s a classic game.
How are you feeling?”
“Confused?” Skinner offered, struggling to
sit up. His chest no longer felt as if iron bands were constricting it, and
his head had stopped pounding. His
throat still felt a little tender, but it was better than it had been.
"Besides that.” Mulder flicked the TV
off, and turned to face him. His eyes were a particularly vivid shade of deep
hazel Skinner noticed. His skin was almost sparklingly clear, and his hair
thicker than Skinner remembered it.
“I feel fine. Whatever drug they gave me seems
to have worked.”
“For now. You have pneumonia, but that’s
just a side effect of the advanced stages of disseminated, non-reactive
tuberculosis,” Mulder told him. Skinner sank back down on the bed, winded by
this news. “It’s curable,” Mulder added.
“Since when?” Skinner growled, still trying
to come to terms with his death sentence, only to have it whisked away from
him.
“The Qundi.” Mulder shrugged. “They’ve
started treating you already. They would have begun sooner but they didn’t
realize how important you are.”
“Am I?”
“Yes. Very. I need you, Walter,” Mulder said
softly.
“Need me for what? To cozy up to those Qundi
bastards the way you do? To…what was it they told me I had to do? ‘Slide
into the hierarchy’ as your fucking servant, oh great Overlord of Earth?”
Skinner tore at his collar savagely, ripping away the loosened tie, and
opening the top few buttons of his shirt. “Christ I hate these damn clothes.”
“Oh.” Mulder looked non-plussed. “I’m
sorry. I asked them to give you those. I thought it would help you… I
thought you’d hate wearing those prison overalls, and looking the same as
everyone else. Maybe I also thought it would help me. I wanted something to
recognize when I came home. Something familiar. I’m sorry,” he said again.
“Look, I can understand why you’re angry, and I promise that I’ll
explain everything. I know you’ll understand. Please, just trust me, old
friend.” He reached out a hand to touch Skinner’s shoulder, and left it
there, massaging gently. Skinner glanced down at the slender fingers, feeling
profoundly uncomfortable.
“Mulder, is it really you? I don’t remember
you being this…” Skinner hesitated, searching for the right words. “Frankly
this good looking - or this touchy feely. I sure as hell don’t ever remember
you kissing me before, or being strong enough to do that whole Scarlett O Hara
thing you did in the corridor. And my memory might be fading, along with my
body, but I don’t remember you ever, ever addressing me as ‘old
friend’ – old friend,” he added ironically.
Mulder nodded, drawing back his hand quietly, a
look of such profound sadness in his eyes that Skinner wished he hadn’t said
anything. “I’m sorry, Walter. I forget I’ve come a long way mentally,
and you just haven’t had the chance to make the same journey yet. As for
touching you…I…” He paused, got off the bed abruptly, and went to stand
at the window, looking out, his back to Skinner, stiff, and defensive. He
suddenly looked very slender, almost frail – and very alone. “I’ve been
without human company for a long time, Walter,” Mulder explained. “There
were times, surrounded by Qundi, when I would have sold my soul for the touch
of another human being.”
“What about the other people who were abducted
with you?” Skinner asked softly, unable to take his eyes off the lonely
figure standing framed in the wide window.
“We didn’t stay together. Once the Qundi
knew they could communicate with me they took me away, and…well, it was a
hard few months,” Mulder said, keeping his face averted. It was the first
time Mulder had said anything Skinner could really relate to. The big man got
up, and walked over to the window. Mulder seemed to be transfixed by the last,
hazy, red rays of the sun as night fell. Skinner waited, saying nothing,
giving Mulder some space, sensing his melancholy mood. After several minutes
Mulder spoke.
“I’d forgotten how beautiful it is. The sun,
the sky, the earth.” He hesitated, and then looked around at Skinner. “Even
you, old friend,” he said, with a grin in his voice. “Although you
won’t thank me for saying it. But you have no idea what it means to see a
familiar face after all these years. I missed you. It’s strange how being
away, being so desperately homesick, makes you aware of exactly what you’re
missing, and with me it always came down to four things.”
Skinner nodded, silently prompting the other man
to continue. “You,” Mulder shrugged, as if it was pointless denying it.
“Scully,” he said her name softly, as if even the memory of her was too
precious, or painful, to talk about. “…This world,” Mulder continued,
placing his fingertips against the windowpane as he looked out, “This
beautiful world that I took for granted for every single one of the 38 years I
lived on it.”
“And the fourth thing?” Skinner asked.
“Beer,” Mulder grinned. “Ice cold,
straight from the fridge, with popcorn, and a really bad movie. Preferably
drunk whilst sitting on the couch - with my arm around someone I love.” His
expression changed abruptly, to one of the most intense yearning. “It was
three and a half years, Walter. Three and a half years without being able to
touch human skin,” he said softly. “Three and a half years surrounded by
Qundi, unable to speak to someone who knew my language, to even hold a
conversation. I love words; you know how I love to talk, to communicate…sometimes
I used to sing for hours on end just to hear the sound of a human voice, but
nothing eased the god awful loneliness of not being able to touch. So, I’m
sorry if I’m acting…inappropriately. I just…” There was a catch in his
voice, and Skinner found himself moving, without hesitation. He grabbed Mulder
by the shoulders, and pulled him into a firm, embracing bear hug. His fingers
gently caressed the other man’s back, and Mulder clung onto him, like a
drowning man seeking solid ground. It
was dark outside when they finally pulled apart. “Thank you, Walter. And you
wonder why I call you ‘old friend’.” Mulder grinned. “There’s one
thing I have to ask. It can’t wait. Scully…?”
Skinner wanted to tell Mulder about Dana. Apart
from anything else, he longed to talk about the woman they both clearly loved,
but…a nagging doubt in the back of his mind stopped him. Mulder was their
new Overlord, whatever that meant. He had no idea here the other man’s
allegiances lay these days, and he wasn’t about to betray Dana Scully to
anybody. Not in this lifetime.
“I haven’t seen her in months, Mulder,” he
replied honestly. “I know she was alive and well up until my capture, but I
have no idea where she is now.” That was all true, even if it wasn’t as
much information as he could have given. Mulder nodded, accepting this small
crumb of news as if it were a feast. Maybe, after so many years away, it was.
“What the hell happened, Mulder? What’s all this about?” Skinner asked.
“And how the hell did you end up as this Overlord? What is it they want from
us? What…”
“Questions,” Mulder interrupted him, his
body suddenly suffused by amused energy. “I’d forgotten how many damn
questions you always ask, Walter. Where’s your report? You’re saying
the perp was some kind of mutant worm? What do you mean you were using a lock
pick in order to gain entrance without a warrant? Where’s your evidence,
Agent Mulder? You said WHAT to the OPC hearing?” He mimicked, grinning
broadly. “It’s alright, I’ll give you your answers, sir.” He
inclined his head. “But first, I’m starving, and I’ve been dreaming
about real food, Earth food, for too long. I need to do some serious
eating, and god knows you look as if you could do with a square meal.” He
glanced critically at Skinner’s lean frame.
“You should have seen me a couple of months
ago. I’ve gained a few pounds since then,” Skinner said with a wry grunt.
"Where are we going, Mulder?” He asked, as Mulder pulled him towards
the door. The other man raised an ironic eyebrow. “So I need answers. That’s
just me,” Skinner shrugged. “Please tell me that we’re not sitting down
to a banquet with a room full of Qundi.”
“Hardly.” Mulder grinned. “The Qundi would
be shocked and insulted by the very suggestion.”
“Why?” Skinner followed the lanky man along
a corridor, and down a flight of plush, carpeted stairs.
“Because the Qundi find the whole act of
putting food into their bodies to be intensely intimate. To them it’s…dirty,”
Mulder said, clearly struggling to translate the concept so that Skinner would
understand. “They view eating the same way we view sex. It’s not for
public viewing. They always eat alone, in family groupings. It would be a
display of gross indecency for a Qundi to eat publicly. Ah, that shocked you
into silence.” Mulder grinned. “Any more questions?”
“Thousands,” Skinner replied, as they found
what appeared to be a dining room.
“After. Sit.” Mulder pointed at the table,
and Skinner sat, obediently, and watched as Mulder picked up a phone, and
spoke to someone. A few minutes later, a waiter arrived pushing a trolley
containing dozens of covered stainless steel dishes. Skinner raised an
eyebrow, and Mulder flushed slightly.
“One of the perks of the job, Walter. The
Overlord does have to eat after all. I ordered this feast while you were
sleeping. I hope you like it.” He lifted a lid on a plate of mussels, and
sniffed, then moved on to a tureen of what looked, and smelled, suspiciously
like Clam Chowder.
“Mulder, I’ve spent three years living on
whatever we could find, or loot,” Skinner said, “and the Qundi sure as
hell fed us well in the Compound, but it was the same damn thing every day.
This is like…every Christmas and Thanksgiving meal rolled into one,” he
said, chuckling as Mulder lifted one lid to reveal a large ham and pineapple
pizza beneath.
"And to drink?” Skinner asked.
“Cold beer. What else?” Mulder grinned,
reaching for a huge pitcher. The waiter got there first, and filled Mulder’s
glass, his hand shaking. Mulder looked at the waiter in surprise, and the man,
sensing the scrutiny, trembled even more, and spilled some of the beer on
Mulder’s arm.
“I’m so sorry, sir. Please…I’m sorry,”
the waiter babbled, clearly scared out of his wits.
“It’s all right,” Mulder laughed. “Really
– I’ll just wipe it off. It’s okay,” he repeated soothingly, as his
words didn’t seem to be sinking in. The waiter looked like a rabbit caught
in the glare of car headlamps, paralyzed with fear. “It’s okay,” Mulder
repeated, standing, and placing his hands on the other man’s shoulders,
trying to calm him. “Look, we can serve ourselves. We'd prefer to be alone
anyway. Why don’t you go back to the kitchens?” The waiter nodded, his
whole body still trembling from head to toe, and he shuffled from the room.
Mulder watched him go, and Skinner noticed his adam’s apple bobbing up and
down in his throat, and the way his jaw shifted, and clenched.
“That’s not a good feeling – people being
scared of you – is it?” Skinner commented.
“No. It isn’t.” Mulder sat down again,
looking shaken.
“Or if not of you, then of your power, and
what you represent,” Skinner observed.
“Yes.” Mulder nodded. “You know how that
feels.”
“Yes.” Skinner shrugged. “You’ll get
used to it. In time. You don’t have a choice, sir.” Now it was his
turn to stress that word, and Mulder shook his head and sighed.
“Walter, please, I don’t want there to be
any formality between us. I was hoping we’d be able to work together.”
“To do what, Mulder? I don’t understand any
of this. You can’t just waltz back here after years away doing god knows
what and expect nothing to have changed. You have no idea how we’ve been
living. No idea what it’s been like for god’s sake!”
“I know. You have no idea what my life has
been like either,” Mulder pointed out softly. “Let’s eat, Walter, and
catch up. Okay?”
He lifted the lid on the tureen, and ladled some
soup into Skinner’s bowl. Skinner’s mouth watered instantly, and he
grabbed some bread, and dipped it into the soup, luxuriating in the sensation
of eating such exquisite cuisine. Mulder set about the feast equally greedily,
his hands and fingers moving tirelessly, in a ballet of selection and
inspection, restlessly taking a handful of this or that, and consuming it as
if he was starving.
“Didn’t they feed you?” Skinner asked,
with a smile.
“Oh yes, but you know what their food is like
– it’s functional, healthy, there’s lots of it, but it’s…”
“Boring,” Skinner offered, “and bland.”
“Exactly.” Mulder smiled. “And, you know,
this is the first time in three and a half years that I’ve sat down with
another human being and shared a meal. I took so many human customs for
granted. I didn’t realize how much they define and comfort us, or how much a
part of our species they are, if you like. The Qundi thought I was some kind
of whore because I’d eat in front of them,” he grinned.
Skinner shook his head, and took a bite of his
pizza. “I can’t imagine what that must have been like. Tell me about
it."
Mulder nodded, and licked each one of his long
fingers, stripping them of the buttery residue from his corn in a way that was
positively erotic. Skinner could suddenly see why the act of eating could be
dangerously sensual.
“All right,” Mulder said, frowning
thoughtfully. “You know I was taken, that night in the forest when I was
with you.”
“I know you were there one minute, and then
you disappeared. Then a ship rose up in the sky, and I knew you were on it,”
Skinner said in a broken tone. Mulder nodded.
“I didn’t go willingly, I want you to know
that,” he said.
“I did wonder. I know you’d been looking for
proof for so long…” Skinner trailed off and shrugged, never taking his
eyes off his dining companion.
“I know, and I admit I was curious. I also
admit that I didn’t fight it – but all the same, I didn’t go willingly.
They caught me in some kind of mind-wiping beam, and I wasn’t really there
in my head. I just knew I had to get onboard that ship - it was like a
compulsion. Then when they had me in position, they put us all in one of their
paralyzing beams so I couldn’t have escaped even if I wanted to. They drew
us up into the ship on the beam, and then everything went black.” Mulder
paused, and took a long swig of his beer. “The first few weeks were hard,”
he said when he’d finished, and his eyes hinted that those few words didn’t
do justice to what he’d endured. “At first we were kept together, but
still drugged, so it was hard to know what was real. I was moving around in a
daze – very open to suggestion. Everything the Qundi wanted me to do, I did
- without question. At first it was just a long litany of them trying to
communicate with us. They were using a kind of medication to change our
genetic make up, and make communication easier. Some of the others had been
tested many times, and were part of an ongoing experiment, but I wasn’t. The
fact that they mistook me for one of their test subjects is significant.” He
looked almost bitter. “I suppose you could say that I was in the wrong place
at the wrong time. All the Qundi wanted to do was talk to us. They can’t
write, and they don’t have any compatible technology, so they couldn’t
even say ‘hello’. The process of conversation made my fellow abductees
ill, but not me.” He paused again, and looked straight at Skinner, as if
expecting some kind of reaction. Skinner shrugged.
“Was there a reason for that?”
“Yes, of course. The reason was my dear father.” Mulder gave an ironic
laugh. “Oh, not Bill Mulder, not the man who raised me, but my real father,
my biological father – and I use that term on purpose. The project he was
part of had been working on creating a human/alien hybrid for years. They were
way ahead of conventional genetic science in that, using Nazi medical
research," Mulder almost spat that sentence out. "I wasn’t the
product of a man and a woman loving each other, Walter. I was created in a
test tube, using genetic material from that cigarette smoking bastard, and my
own mother, and then implanted in her womb. They used the same process to make
my sister. Apparently, she had great promise, so they took her and tried to
use her to communicate with the Qundi back in the seventies. That attempt
failed – and it cost Samantha her life.” He sat back in his chair, his
face pale. Skinner’s heart went out to him. All Mulder had ever wanted was
to find out what had happened to his sister. Discovering this must have pained
him. He reached out, and rested his hand on Mulder’s wrist, trying to
reassure the other man through the physical contact. Mulder managed a faint,
watery smile.
“She’s dead, Walter. She was too young, and
there was a misunderstanding between the Project and the Qundi. It was a mess,
and it set back relations between the two races by years. I was their next
best hope, so the Project kept me alive, but after what had happened with
Samantha they didn’t dare use me. They didn’t like me, and they sure as
hell didn’t like the questions I was asking about them, but I wasn’t
expendable. So they let me live, and tried to keep me away from the truth for
as long as possible by feeding me half-truths, and misinformation. I still, to
this day, do not know what was truth and what was lies.”
He moved his arm, turned his hand, and grabbed
Skinner’s fingers between his own. “The only truth I know now is those who
stood by me for all those years, who trusted me through the confusion, and who
tried to help - and when it came down to it, there were only two of you. You
and Scully are the only reason I came back.” He didn’t relinquish Skinner’s
hand, but held on tight, as if he feared letting go.
“It took us long time to know what we could be
without you,” Skinner said softly. “There was never a day when we didn’t
miss you. We talked about you often. We never forgot.”
“Thank you.” Mulder squeezed Skinner’s
fingers between his own in acknowledgement.
“So…when the Qundi tried to talk to me, they
found, much to their surprise, that I was receptive to their means of
communication. I’m not saying it came easy,” Mulder added ruefully, “but
they could talk to me on a level, and at a depth, that they hadn’t managed
with any other humans. It gave them something to work with, something to…”
he took a deep breath, and chose his next word carefully. “…enhance."
"Enhance?" Skinner interrupted with a
frown.
"I'm changed, Walter. Not, I believe, in
essentials, but they changed me all the same in order to make communication
even easier. I'm not Qundi, but neither am I wholly human either, but then
again, I never was." Mulder's jaw tensed again, and Skinner tried to get
him head around what it must feel like, carrying the weight of that knowledge.
"I was segregated from the rest of the abductees," Mulder continued,
"and taken to the Qundi homeworld.”
“Christ,” Skinner breathed, startled. “What’s
it like?”
“Dark.” Mulder shrugged. “I didn’t see
much of it, Walter. I was shut up in a room for most of it – for my own
safety. Their atmosphere is similar to our own, but it was too toxic for me to
survive in it for long.”
“What did they want?” Skinner helped himself
to a large slice of apple pie, and two large spoonfuls of thick, whipped
cream. It was the kind of food he’d only dreamed about for the past few
years.
“They wanted to talk.” Mulder shrugged.
“That’s it? That’s all? They flew half way
across the galaxy for a cozy fireside chat?” Skinner growled incredulously.
“No. Of course that’s not it. They needed to
communicate with us. It’s ironic really; despite all that technology, and
their ability to traverse vast areas of space, the one thing they couldn’t
do was talk. They didn’t understand us, and we sure as hell didn’t
understand them. It took me three years to learn their language, customs and
culture – and I’m still a novice. There’s still so much more to learn.”
“The only thing I want to learn is how to wipe
them off the face of our planet,” Skinner said in a low, intense tone.
Mulder looked up, a startled question in his eyes.
“Walter, they aren’t our enemies,” he
said.
“Then why have they invaded our world?”
Skinner demanded.
Mulder took a deep breath. “They haven’t
invaded – at least not in the sense you mean, Walter. It’s hard for them
to explain that though because they can’t tell us. They don’t even
understand binary language, or the written word.”
"How do they communicate with each other
then?” Skinner asked, leaning forward, desperate to understand.
“Their tendrils are sophisticated sensory
devices. They communicate by touching each other, and exchanging information.
It seems telepathic – to us it is telepathic, but there’s a
definite physiological explanation for how their form of communication works.
I don’t have any tendrils, but I am more genetically receptive to them than
the average human being. The surface of my skin has some of their sensory
cells, so the mental exchange can be facilitated. I have to be touching them
though.”
"So you can talk to them.” Skinner shrugged. “Tell them to get
the hell off our planet.”
“It’s not that simple.” Mulder sighed.
"The hell it isn’t! They don’t belong
here and we do.” Skinner could feel the blood pounding in his head, and he
felt woozy. Christ, what a day. He didn’t know what medicines the Qundi had
pumped into him, but they seemed to be wearing off. He felt suddenly very
tired.
“Do we?” Mulder asked softly.
“What are you saying? They got here first?”
Skinner demanded in a tone of disbelief.
“No, but neither did we.” Mulder shrugged.
“Then who?” Skinner stared, open-mouthed, at
the other man.
“The Shapeshifters. They’re a different race
altogether, Walter. They were here first. They’ve been here far longer than
we have. There just aren’t that many of them, and they’ve chosen to blend
in rather than fight us, taking our form at will to avoid detection. They
invited the Qundi here . They’re worried that mankind will destroy this
world, their world, and they want the Qundi to stop us.”
“Stop us how?” Skinner barely managed to get the words out. His head hurt
too much. He could hardly believe what he was being told. It was too much to
take in.
“Not by destroying us, Walter, if that’s
what you’re thinking, but by working with us. Helping us if you like. It’s
not an invasion. It’s…it’s as if the Qundi are missionaries sent to a
primitive land to tame the native savages - us. They come from a more
enlightened race, and they have so much to teach us.”
“Teach us? They can’t even fucking talk to
us!” Skinner exclaimed.
“That’s where I come in. That’s why they
sent me here as Overlord,” Mulder said softly. “Apart from the fact that
they like me that is.” He grinned modestly. “I can communicate with them,
Walter, and I can communicate with you. That’s why I asked for you as my
Liaison officer, old friend.” He smiled, and inclined his head at his use of
the term. “I’ve never known anybody more efficient, fair minded, or
dedicated to the concept of justice, law, and order than you, Walter. I need
your help.”
“To do what? Persuade our people to accept
their enslavement? I’ll never do that, Mulder.”
“It isn't enslavement, Walter. You don’t
understand. The Qundi are so far ahead of us in terms of physics and science
that there’s no comparison. With their help, there will be no more poverty,
no more disease, or sickness. They can even abolish old age.” Mulder smiled.
“Look what they did to me, Walter. I’m fitter, stronger, and healthier
than I’ve ever been in my life. They are offering us the solution to all
this world’s problems. I made a wish once, Walter – I wished for peace on
earth. My wish didn’t come true at the time, but it can now - with your
help. Will you help me Walter?” Mulder held out his hand, and Skinner stared
at it, numbly. He thought of Scully, thought of their long battle against the
invading Qundi forces. He thought of the years of fighting and running, and
that hand of friendship waiting for him on the table seemed so tempting. “I’ve
seen the future, Walter,” Mulder whispered, “and it’s perfect. All we
have to do is to be brave enough to take it. It means leaving the past behind.
It means giving up old ways of thinking.”
“It means giving up our freedom,” Skinner
observed, seeing to the crux of the argument, with an old eye for such issues.
“The freedom to get ill, to get old, and die?
The freedom to keep on plundering this world of all its resources?” Mulder
asked. “The freedom to hunt the other inhabitants of this planet to
extinction, Walter? Is that the kind of freedom you’re talking about? Whose
world is this? Ours? Our children's? The whales? The tigers? The insects? The
shape-shifters? It belongs to all of us, Walter, and we’re the only ones
destroying it.”
“So we sell ourselves to buy their freedom?”
Skinner asked in a vehement tone. “Mulder, how do I even know if any of this
is true? Supposing the Qundi lied to you?”
“They can’t lie, Walter. It isn’t possible
for them with the way they communicate. They don’t even understand the
concept. I wish…” He looked at Skinner speculatively. “There is a way I
could convince you, but…” He trailed off, flushing.
“I’m willing to try anything,” Skinner
said. “I want to understand, Mulder, believe me. I really want to.”
“Do you trust me?” Mulder asked.
Skinner swallowed hard. “Yes,” he said,
because he did, and he always had. He trusted Mulder with his life. Mulder
smiled, and Skinner knew that one word had meant a great deal to the other
man.
“Come here then.” Mulder got up, and held
out his hand again, and Skinner took it this time, and was surprised to be
pulled into a warm embrace, so that his body was flush against Mulder’s hard
chest. Mulder took the big man’s bare head between his fingers, and looked
into Skinner’s eyes. “Don’t be startled, just go with it,” he
whispered. “Close your eyes.” Skinner obeyed, and a second later he jerked
his head back, as Mulder’s lips met his own. “Hush, just let me…”
Mulder said, and Skinner surrendered to the moment, to the seductive glow of
the lamp lit room, and to the feel of Mulder’s lips against his own. It was
a kiss like no other he had ever experienced. Mulder’s body was hard, and
strong beneath Skinner’s fingers. Mulder’s hands were clamped around
Skinner’s back, holding him tight in a firm, loving embrace. Mulder was
everywhere, his mouth, his scent, and his touch filling Skinner’s senses.
His lips were soft, and he was parting Skinner’s own lips, and his tongue
was in Skinner’s mouth, and…Mulder didn’t taste like Dana. Dana…This
should have been a betrayal of her, and what they’d shared, but it didn’t
feel that way. It felt so right… Skinner struggled, fighting his own sense
of morality, tried to move away, to draw back, but Mulder was holding him
tight, and Skinner wasn’t as strong as Earth's new Overlord. He felt weak,
lost, alone, almost frail beside this superbeing who had dropped to Earth from
the belly of a Qundi spaceship, just as he had been taken so many years ago.
"Hush," Mulder said again, only
his lips were still locked with Skinner’s, and the sound was in his mind.
Skinner had a sensation of falling, and he held on tight to Mulder’s body.
“It’s all right. You won’t fall, and if you do, I’ll catch you,”
Mulder said inside his mind. “I’m speaking the truth, Walter. Let me
show you.”
Skinner held onto Mulder as a series of images
passed through his mind. It was like talking to the Qundi, only much less
unpleasant. He saw Mulder being taken; saw him waking up inside the Qundi
ship, experienced with Mulder the many trials of learning how to communicate
with the aliens. It was incredibly detailed, and yet very brief – several
years crammed into a few short seconds, but Skinner knew that it was all,
without a shadow of a doubt, completely and utterly true. As the kiss
finished, so did the images, and Skinner was left with the wistful memory of
falling leaves, and the taste of sunflower seeds on his tongue, and then
Mulder drew back, still holding Skinner up.
“Do you believe me?” He asked.
“I want to,” Skinner’s throat was dry, and
his head was throbbing.
"That always used to be my line,” Mulder grinned. “I want to
believe,” he added, by way of explanation.
“I do.” Skinner fumbled his way back to his
chair, and sank down with a heavy sigh. “But even if I do believe you, I’m
not sure I can agree to what you ask, Mulder.” He thought about Dana, and
wondered what she would say. Was he really planning to make a mockery of all
the battles they had fought for the past three years by becoming a
collaborator?
"I know it’s a lot to understand, a lot to take
in. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have expected you to just agree. The truth is…that
I don’t think I can do this without you, Walter. I need you.”
Skinner stared into those hazel eyes for a long time, trying to think, trying
to figure out what he should do but he felt so very tired, and next thing he
knew, Mulder was crouching at his elbow, and a pair of strong arms were
lifting him up.
“You’re exhausted,” Mulder said.
“I know. It’s been one hell of a day. I can
still walk though,” Skinner muttered sleepily, fighting against being
lifted.
“I know. I just like holding you. Indulge me,”
Mulder murmured in reply, as he carried Skinner out into the corridor. Skinner
struggled fruitlessly against the other man’s superior strength for a
moment, and then gave in, resigned to his fate.
“If I do take this job, I want it written into
my contract that my boss doesn’t try to carry me all over the place the
whole time. It’s humiliating,” he growled.
Mulder chuckled. “Now you know what it’s
like being on the receiving end of someone else's strength, big guy,” he
replied affectionately, his lips brushing Skinner’s cheek. Skinner had a
sudden, vivid, mental image of himself restraining Mulder in a corridor of the
Hoover building, and holding Mulder down over a desk somewhere else, Mulder
struggling uselessly beneath his weight and strength before giving in.
Skinner was dimly aware of being carried back to
the Master Bedroom and laid on a bed, and then Mulder was stripping him, and
he didn’t even have the energy to complain. Mulder knelt, and undid Skinner’s
shoes, then pulled off his socks, and undid his pants, before tugging those
off as well, and Skinner lifted his hips, wearily, to help him. Mulder paused
for a moment, his eyes traveling over Skinner’s naked body, and taking in
the many scars, some new as well as old.
“It’s been a hard few years,” Skinner
explained, sure that he should be unnerved by Mulder’s scrutiny, but too
exhausted to care.
“I know. I’m sorry. I want to hear your
story too. Tomorrow. When you’re feeling better.” Mulder helped Skinner
beneath the sheets, and the older man was asleep before his head even hit the
pillow. He didn’t even wake up when Mulder undressed, slid into the bed
beside him, took him in his arms, and held him very tightly, as if he feared
the big man would disappear.
Skinner woke to find his chin nestled on soft
hair. He smiled, still half asleep, and gathered Dana into his arms, nuzzling
her neck…only to find himself looking into a pair of amused hazel eyes.
“Who’s acting all touchy feely now?”
Mulder asked.
Skinner pushed him away with a snort. “I
thought you were someone else. What the hell are you doing in my bed?”
Skinner snapped.
“Technically speaking it’s my bed, and you’re
here because I wanted to sleep next to a human body, to smell a human being
next to me, and to touch human skin. I’m sorry if that gives you the
heterosexual heebie jeebies, but frankly, after all this time on my own, I don’t
give a damn about the sexual niceties of polite society. Being with the Qundi
made me rethink my old ways. I always swore that if I got a second chance I
wouldn’t live a lie any more.”
“Meaning what exactly?” Skinner swung his
legs over the side of the bed, feeling threatened by his own nakedness, and
fearing what response his body might give to what was sounding dangerously
like a proposition.
“Meaning I want you as more than my Liaison
officer.” Mulder grinned, and rubbed a hand over his stubbled chin.
“And what about what I want? Oh, I’m sorry,
I forgot,” Skinner said, his tone dripping sarcasm. “I can see you’re
merely exercising your Droit De Seigneur. You’re the Overlord, I’m your
servant. Forgive me for not realizing that personal services were part of the
job. Is that what the Qundi fucking well meant when they used the word ‘serve’?”
“Actually yes.” Mulder said mildly. “At least it’s what they
expect. It’s hardly something I’m going to force on you though, Walter, so
don’t act like an uptight virgin.”
“They expect…” Skinner felt as if the veins in the side of his forehead
were going to explode.
“It’s their way.” Mulder smiled sweetly,
and got out of the bed. He padded across the room, stark naked, and Skinner
found that he was transfixed by the sight, unable to take his eyes off the
other man’s long, swinging cock. Mulder grabbed a towel that was slung over
one of the armchairs, and glanced back to where Skinner sat, still dumbstruck,
on the bed. “Droit de seigneur!” Mulder snorted. “Christ, Walter, this
is me you’re talking to. Do you seriously think I’m going to tie you to
the bed and rape you?” Skinner was uncomfortably aware of his cock hardening
at that thought, and Mulder must have seen it too, because his face broke into
a wide grin.
“Why do the Qundi expect us to…?” Skinner
nodded his head in the direction of the crumpled bed sheets.
“Because that’s how their society is
organized,” Mulder explained patiently, disappearing into the en suite
bathroom. Skinner heard the sounds of peeing, and realized that he’d have to
follow Mulder in if he wanted to hear the rest of the explanation. Mulder
finished, shook his cock, and then got into the shower. Skinner wrapped a
towel around his waist, and stood, waiting to hear more. “You’ve probably
already noticed that Qundi society is somewhat…” Mulder hesitated,
searching for the right word, “hierarchical,”
he said.
“You could say that,” Skinner grimaced,
remembering the aliens’ fanatical insistence on bowing and their obsession
with order and punctuality. He watched Mulder reach for the soap, and the room
soon filled with steam. Skinner had been so engrossed in their conversation
that he had barely noticed the opulence of their surroundings; the bathroom
was the size of his old office in the Hoover Building, and tastefully
decorated. He caught a hazy glimpse of himself in the steam-obscured mirror.
He wasn’t wearing his glasses, and he looked like a shadowy figure,
indistinct, and undefined – which was exactly how he felt right now. Mulder
was lathering himself, as he continued speaking.
“Qundi society is highly structured. They live
and work in groups of three, six, nine, or, in rare cases, twelve.
Each group has a leader, and each member of the group has a specific
function within that unit. When I asked for you to work with me, the Qundi
automatically assumed you would become my family, and someone I had
recreational sex with, because that’s how their society works. It’s
inconceivable to them that I’d chose to work so closely with someone who I’m
not intimate with. The Qundi work, sleep, and eat with their partners – and
they make offspring in the same groups. Don’t ask me about Qundi
reproduction, Walter. I’ve been looking forward to breakfast, and I don’t
want it spoiled.” He grinned, that lazy, inviting, flirtatious and wildly
sexual grin. “You can join me in the shower if you want, Walter, so long as
you promise not to sue me for sexual harassment.”
“I’ll wait ‘til you’re done,” Skinner
grunted, fascinated by Mulder's insights into the other species, despite
himself. Mulder shrugged, and continued soaping himself. Skinner wanted to
look away, but felt compelled to watch. He liked Mulder’s body. He had
always liked Mulder’s body. He had dreamed about it often enough. Skinner
found himself examining the other man to make sure he was still human. Mulder
had talked of being changed on a genetic level, not once, but twice. First in
a test tube at conception, and again when the Qundi abducted him, but he still
looked pretty human, Skinner observed. All too human, he mused, unable to take
his eyes off Mulder's smooth, toned body. He wondered what it would feel like
to take the other man’s cock into his mouth – or even into his ass. He had
never slept with a man, but his close male friendships had defined his life,
and he had sometimes wondered whether, if society hadn't been so resolutely
against homosexual affairs, he might have succumbed to the temptation. He had
never felt closer to any man than Mulder. Mulder’s sexual ambiguity had
always been part of his charm, but that wasn’t the only reason for the
attraction. This man was different, and Skinner’s feelings towards this man
were different as well. He knew that he loved Mulder, and had loved him for
years, and at the same time he knew that didn’t change his feelings for
Dana. He had loved her for years as well.
“You don’t have to fight it, Walter,”
Mulder murmured, gazing at him as if he knew what was going inside Skinner’s
mind. “We can be whatever we it to be. After all I've seen, and experienced,
I've come to the conclusion that a healthy sexual response is the last thing
we should be embarrassed by.”
“Back off, Mulder.” Skinner growled. He saw
the look of pain that flashed into Mulder’s eyes, but he couldn’t handle
this right now, not on top of everything else. Mulder might have had three
years solitary confinement to figure out his feelings, but Skinner had spent
the last three years on the run. It usually took up all his energy figuring
out how to feed the rebels, finding new bases, and planning battle campaigns.
He hadn’t given his emotions much thought.
Breakfast was a strained affair. Mulder was
acting as if nothing had happened, but Skinner couldn’t. He felt pressured,
less by Mulder’s unambiguous sexual advances than his own dilemma about the
job he had been offered. He knew that his decision was important. With his
help, Mulder could round up the last few pockets of resistance, and bring the
rebels on board. Together, they could build a new future for humanity…but
was that the right thing to do? Could he honestly bring himself to do what was
tantamount to betraying his own people? Even for the best of motives? The
dilemma went around and around in his head, and the only solution he could
come up with right now was to just wait and see. Mulder wasn’t putting any
pressure on him to come to a decision straight away. At the back of his mind
he also knew that if he won Mulder’s trust, he might be able to use that to
help the rebels if it came to it. By seeming to accept Mulder’s job, he
would be perfectly placed to aid the rebel cause. Skinner had a bitter taste
in his mouth at the thought of betraying his ‘old friend’ like this, but
he was pragmatist enough to know that he’d make that decision if he had to.
He sincerely hoped that he wouldn’t have to.
Christ, I’m turning into
Alex Krycek.
After breakfast, Mulder ordered him along to the
infirmary in the Qundi compound, which had been constructed at the far end of
the White House. Skinner allowed the small team of three Qundi medical
personnel to inject him with some kind of drug, and he had to admit that he
felt better afterwards. Yesterday’s hacking cough had become little more
than a minor irritant. After he’d been treated, he followed Mulder through
the Qundi compound, marveling at the fact that the other man seemed to know
exactly where he was going.
“How the hell do you know the way?” He
asked, falling into step with Mulder’s loping strides. “This is the first
time you’ve been back to Earth isn’t it?”
“Yes, but all Qundi compounds are the same.”
Mulder shrugged. “I know this place like the back of my hand. I lived in one
virtually identical for three years so I should.”
“How long did it take them to build it?”
Skinner asked. “And why bother? What’s wrong with using our buildings?”
“They don’t like them,” Mulder replied
with a wave of his hand. “The fact that they don’t know their way around
them makes them insecure. The Qundi like certainty, and regularity. You know
how they are. As for how long the compounds take to build – they’re all
constructed in space, and shipped here for assembly. It only takes a few days.
It’s kind of like buying flat-packed furniture from Ikea.” He grinned, and
led Skinner into a large white room, where a Qundi delegation comprising two
sets of 9 aliens were waiting. Skinner leaned against a wall, and watched
Mulder converse with them, fighting down his queasiness. He didn’t think he’d
ever get used to this process, but Mulder was as unfazed by it as he had been
the previous day. The conversation lasted for well over an hour, and when
Mulder drew back he looked tired, and drained.
“You okay?” Skinner asked, as they left the
compound and strolled back towards the White House.
“Fine, it takes a lot of concentration, that’s
all.” Mulder shrugged.
“What did they have to say?”
“The final date for the…integration has been
set,” Mulder said cautiously.
“Integration? You mean invasion?” Skinner
snapped.
“They don’t see it that way. They’ve
managed to secure most of the habitable territory on the planet, but there are
still a few pockets of rebels causing problems.” Mulder stopped, and looked
Skinner square in the eye. “Walter, I haven’t been entirely honest with
you,” he said, biting on his lip in a way Skinner remembered very well. “I
haven’t lied, but I haven’t told you everything. I know you were helping
the rebels, because you were imprisoned in one of the compounds the Qundi
constructed especially for those actively opposing integration. I’m not
asking you to betray those people, Walter, but I want you to consider asking
them to give themselves up. Wait!” Mulder held up his hand. “Please let me
finish, Walter. I don’t want you to decide now, or even tomorrow, just give
me a chance to show you that I’m acting for the best interests of us all,
and then decide. Please.”
Skinner considered this for a moment, and then
nodded. They were both playing their own game, he and Mulder, and, what was
more, they both knew it. The old affection was there, but for both of them the
trust they won was merely a stake in a much bigger game. Mulder wanted to use
him to bring the rebels in from the cold. He wanted to use Mulder to find out
more about the Qundi and how they might be defeated. Skinner thought longingly
of a time when they had both been on the same side, but, even then, he had to
acknowledge that the trust between them had been hard won, and had not always
been constant.
“Thank you.” Mulder took a deep breath, and
continued walking. “There’s one particularly active rebel group that has
been causing the Qundi problems, and they’re led by a man called Phoenix.
Have you heard of him?”
“Yes.” Skinner shrugged, his heart missing a
beat as he jogged a few paces to catch up. Mulder glanced at him, his hazel
eyes curious, questing. Skinner maintained an expressionless face. He wasn’t
sure what Mulder already knew, and he didn’t want to give anything away.
Mulder considered him for a moment, and then, when it became clear that
Skinner wasn’t going to say anything more, he continued.
“He’s been quiet for a couple of months but
the Qundi think that’s only because he’s planning something big – maybe
an attack on the Compounds holding rebel prisoners.”
Skinner still didn’t say anything, and Mulder
clearly knew that if he pushed the big man on this Skinner would be forced to
make a choice that they might both regret.
“They asked about you,” Mulder said,
changing the subject with a smile. “They got very giggly when I said we’d
shared dinner last night, and breakfast this morning.”
Skinner had a hard time imagining the Qundi giggling. They didn’t even
have mouths. Mulder put a hand on his arm, and Skinner had a sudden image of a
gaggle of Qundi, turning a shade of deep emerald green, and convulsing
slightly. “That’s giggling?” He asked. Mulder grinned.
“If it’s any consolation they think our
mouths positively are gross. They find the idea of orifices in general
extremely disturbing, and this one in particular totally obscene. The fact
that we go so far as to put food into our most visible orifice makes them
blush and quiver.”
“How the hell do they eat then?” Skinner
asked.
“Don’t ask me - I’ve never seen them do
it!” Mulder exclaimed. “I’d love to know but they’re too embarrassed
to tell me. After all, it’d be like you explaining to them which sexual
position you favor. Look, I’m sick of these robes – the Qundi aren’t
very good with the concept of clothes, and I feel a total wuss running around
in what’s basically a long dress. I know you hate that suit – why don’t
we see if we can track down something to wear before we get down to the
serious business of running the world.”
“Sounds good to me. Did you have anywhere in
mind?”
“Yes, as a matter of fact I did.” Mulder
grinned.
Twenty minutes later they were driving in a
presidential car through Washington. The streets were fairly deserted, and
whole sections of the city had been destroyed – Skinner remembered the
battle for Washington DC vividly. It had been the first he’d fought, when
the government still had forces to deploy. It was a sad and bizarre reflection
of the huge difference in firepower between the two races, that most of the
damage to the city had been wrought by their own side. The Qundi technology
was so infinitely superior that the Earth troops had ended up blowing huge
chunks of the city to smithereens in their unsuccessful attempts to score even
one hit on the myriad of small Qundi ships that darted and weaved amongst
them. The battle had lasted barely a week, and by then the Qundi had won all
the main strategic areas, the President and most of the residents had fled,
and the rebels had taken to the countryside in order to regroup. They had been
fighting a rearguard action ever since, always falling back, never winning so
much as one tiny battle, but never giving up despite that. Until now, Skinner
thought grimly. Was he planning on giving up now?
Mulder had eschewed an official driver, and was
driving them himself, albeit somewhat clumsily, but then after three and a
half years away that was hardly surprising. Skinner had assumed that Mulder
was taking them to some kind of Qundi-run storage warehouse that stocked
clothing, and was so lost in his reverie that he didn’t notice where they
were headed until they were almost there.
“Mulder.” He put a hand on the other man’s
arm. Mulder looked around in surprise. “I’m sorry. Not here. I should have
realized you’d come here.”
“I just want to see the old place again,”
Mulder said. “One more look. I used to close my eyes and imagine being back
here, lying on the couch, watching TV, a bottle of beer in one hand, remote in
the other, pizza on the coffee table. I’d try and think what it looked like,
and sometimes…” His voice faltered. “Sometimes I couldn’t remember,
Walter. I need to see it again, even if it’s for the last time.”
“Mulder. It isn’t…” Skinner’s voice
trailed off as they turned into Hegal Place. “Here,” he finished softly.
Mulder drew up the car outside the burnt-out shell of a building that had once
been his home, and got out. “I’m sorry.” Skinner followed him, and
placed a hand on the other man’s shoulder.
“How…? The Qundi would never…” Mulder
began. He looked suddenly smaller, and achingly vulnerable.
“It wasn’t the Qundi. It was us,” Skinner
said softly. “We’d have done anything to protect ourselves, Mulder. We’re
not talking about the fucking film Independence Day here you know. This
battle didn’t have any heroes, and we sure as hell didn’t win it. We would
have destroyed the city just to save it, but they stopped us before it got
that far. They took away our weapons, locked up half the population in one of
their big holding compounds, and those of us they didn’t manage to capture
fled. I was one of them.”
“All gone.” Mulder’s fingers touched the
blackened bricks that had once been his apartment block. “One of the things
that kept me going was the thought of coming home.”
“I’m sorry,” Skinner said again, feeling
inadequate.
“What about your place? Is that still there?”
Mulder asked.
“I think so. It was when I left, although
looters have probably taken all my stuff by now,” Skinner shrugged.
“No. The Qundi wouldn’t allow looting. It’ll
be there, just as you left it,” Mulder said confidently. Skinner put his
hands on his hips, and shrugged again. Privately he didn’t think that
likely, but he was prepared to find out. They got back into the car, and
Mulder drove them to Crystal City. It only took a few minutes to navigate the
deserted streets, and then they pulled up outside the Viva Tower. There were
clearly still residents – the elevators were working, and the lights were
on, although the doorman was long gone.
“I don’t have a key though, Mulder.”
Skinner followed the other man along the corridor of the 17th
floor. Mulder turned to him, his eyes gleaming.
“Since when did I need a key?” he grinned.
“You can’t possibly have that lock pick
hidden in those robes!” Skinner protested.
“No, but you’re wearing a belt. Give it
here.”
Mulder’s resourcefulness was undiminished,
Skinner thought wryly, as the other man removed the prong from the belt
buckle, and played around with the lock. A few seconds later, the door sprang
open, and an alarm went off.
“Quick, what’s the code?” Mulder asked.
"Christ, I can’t remember.” Skinner thought about it for a
moment. “1-0-1-3” he recalled finally. Mulder raised an eyebrow, and
punched the code into the alarm, and Skinner flushed.
“I’m not saying a word,” Mulder grinned as
the alarm deactivated. “So, home sweet home, Walter. How does it feel to be
back?”
“Strange.” Skinner stared around the apartment. “It could be
another lifetime, Mulder. A different Walter Skinner. Let’s get the clothes
and go. I don’t want to stay,” he said abruptly. “You can wear my
clothes if you want – although I’m sure the Qundi will be able to find
something for their Overlord to wear; there must be some stores still open.”
He went up the stairs two at a time, and paused at the top, outside his
bedroom. This felt eerie, like breaking in to somebody else’s apartment. He
almost couldn’t believe he’d ever lived here. It all felt such a long time
ago. He took a deep breath and entered the room, pulled out a suitcase from
beneath the bed, and then opened his closet and started throwing in all the
casual clothes he could find, ignoring the more formal suits and shirts that
formed the larger part of his wardrobe. Mulder leaned in the doorway, watching
him.
“I wanted to see my old home so much. I
thought you’d feel the same, but you find it painful, don’t you?” He
murmured.
"You just don’t seem to figure that not
everybody feels the same as you fucking do, or wants the same fucking things!”
Skinner growled, slamming the case shut. He left out a pair of sweatpants, tee
shirt, sneakers, and a denim shirt, and undid his stiff collared, formal shirt
with a savage jerk of his fingers, sending the buttons flying. He threw the
shirt onto the dusty bed, pulled on the tee shirt and denim shirt, and then
tried to undo his shirtsleeves to push them up, but his fingers were shaking
too much. Mulder reached out, and batted them away, and then slowly unbuttoned
the cuffs for him. Skinner submitted, fighting back his emotions, then brushed
Mulder aside, and in doing so caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror…and
sank against the bed as his knees started to give way.
“Christ,” he muttered, surveying the pale
shell of the man he had once known. “Christ, Mulder. I look like shit. Why
didn’t you tell me?” He stared hopelessly into the mirror. He knew that he’d
lost the rest of his hair, but he looked so…old. His face was lined with
worry, and there were deep furrows across his wide forehead. His eyes had dark
shadows underneath, and a whole flock of crow’s feet at the corners. His
skin was pallid, and haggard, and his clothes hung off him as if they belonged
on someone else. He wondered how his body had ever filled them. He was so
gaunt; his body was hard, and still solidly muscled, but so much leaner. He
missed his old, solid bulk, which had given him an illusion of
invulnerability, power, and control. “How the hell did they recognize me
from that description you gave?” Skinner whispered, going over to the mirror
and tracing the lines of his reflection. “I don’t look like that person,
Mulder. And what the hell were you thinking with that anyway? Since when did I
ever have legs 20 feet long, and tower over tall buildings?”
Mulder smiled, and came up behind Skinner, his face visible in the mirror as
he stared into it over Skinner’s shoulder. “The Qundi don’t have very
good eyesight, and in any case they have trouble telling one human from
another, so I had to exaggerate some of the salient points, Walter,” he
murmured. “But not by much, I think. That’s how I see you in my head, how
I’ve always seen you, and how I will always see you,” he said firmly. He
crossed his hands over Skinner’s chest, and rested his chin on Skinner’s
shoulder.
Skinner just stood there, stunned by his
reflection. “When did I get so old?” He asked.
“You’ve been very ill, Walter. When your
health improves you’ll be amazed how much better you look,” Mulder said
gently. “Qundi medicine will restore you, I promise – look what it did for
me.”
“You look young enough to be my son,”
Skinner whispered.
“I’d rather be your lover.” Mulder pressed
his lips against Skinner’s cheek, and a familiar image of falling leaves,
and the taste of sunflower seeds flashed into the big man's mind.
“Dana…” Skinner stared at their
reflections in the mirror.
“We’ll find her, Walter. She’ll join us.
We’ll be together again, the way we were always supposed to be,” Mulder
insisted, and his confidence was almost catching. “It isn’t a betrayal,
old friend. It’s a new beginning.”
His lips were insistent, soft, and so beguiling.
It took all Skinner’s willpower to wrench himself away.
“If I let this happen then I’ll have made my
decision, won’t I?” He hissed. “Is that what you want? You want to
seduce me over to your side?”
“I’m not the devil, Walter,” Mulder
chided. “I’m just a horny guy who’s spent the past 3 and a half years
alone in a room jerking off and thinking about you – and Scully. I can’t
pretend I don’t want this – I’ve spent too many years of my life
pretending. I do want this, but only when you’re ready. Look, I won’t hit
on you again. I’ll wait for you to come to me.”
“And if that doesn’t happen?” Skinner
growled.
“Then I’ll die a very unhappy man.” Mulder
grinned, and grabbed Skinner’s case from the bed. “Come on big guy. Let’s
go…”
“Home?” Skinner finished for him, glancing
around the place he had once called by that name. “No, Mulder. That isn’t
my home, and I refuse to stay there. My people didn’t elect me into the
White House, and I’m not just going to camp out there. It means more to me
than that. It stands for more than that.”
They stared at each other for a long time.
Skinner knew that he’d pushed the game to a higher level. He was demanding
that Mulder trust him enough to be out of his sight - and out of his immediate
control as well.
“You can’t stay here. It’s too far away,”
Mulder said. “I need you nearby.”
“There are apartments within walking distance
of the White House. Let me stay in one of them. I won’t live in a Qundi
compound,” Skinner stated firmly. There was another silence. “Do you trust
me enough to allow me my freedom, Mulder?” Skinner asked softly. The
question hung between them, and then Mulder broke into a wide smile.
“Of course I trust you, old friend,” he
said, as if that had never been in question. “Just promise me one thing.”
Skinner stiffened, wondering what the price of his independence would be. “Promise
me that you’ll eat your meals with me,” Mulder said. Skinner almost
laughed out loud. It was such a small thing…and yet…it revealed both how
much Mulder now identified with the Qundi, and their customs, and how alone
and estranged Earth’s new Overlord was from his people. He longed to reach
out to the other man, to stand by his side as he had so many times before, but
their recent pasts intruded on the present, and neither of them was about to
join the other side just yet.
“It’s a deal,” Skinner said. “Here.”
He threw Mulder a pair of sweat pants and a tee shirt, and Mulder grinned, and
quickly stripped off his Qundi manufactured robe, and pulled them on. Skinner’s
clothes were as big on Mulder as they had been on the big man, and they took
one look at each other and burst out laughing.
“We really have to bulk you up again,”
Mulder said.
“And we really need to get you your own
clothes,” Skinner replied. “Look, Mulder, the practicalities of everyday
life have never exactly been your strong suit, have they? The Qundi seem to
have provided you with some servants but you’ll need more than that if you’re
going to run things around here. You’ll need a whole staff – not only to
run the White House, but also to help you organize and resettle the
population, not just of our own country, but also of the whole world. It’s a
big job, Mulder, and that's an understatement.”
“I know. That’s why I asked for your help.
You always were an awesome administrator, Walter.”
“Well, I’ll need people, and I need to know
what you’re planning on doing. How are you going to implement all these
ideas you have about eradicating disease, stamping out poverty, and achieving
world peace, Mulder?”
“Do I detect a note of cynicism?” Mulder led
Skinner down the stairs, taking them two at a time, as if he couldn’t wait
to get started on the task ahead.
“Yes.” Skinner growled in reply. Mulder
turned, but he wasn’t laughing. His eyes were deadly serious.
“I will do it, Walter. I’ll do all that and
more. Does this mean that you’re accepting my job offer, old friend?”
“What’s the alternative, Mulder?” Skinner asked. “No, really, I’d
like to know. What happens if I say ‘no’? Do you send me back to prison?”
He stood in the elevator, and waited for Mulder to join him. The other man’s
face was as still as if it had been set in stone; only a tiny movement of his
jaw showing that he was even alive.
“Would you, Mulder?” Skinner pressed. “Is
it 'my way or the highway'? Is that how it is?”
Mulder took a deep breath, and joined him in the elevator.
“I want you here. I didn’t conceive of any
other possibility than that you would stay,” Mulder said finally.
“You never even considered that I might say
no?” Skinner asked incredulously. “I’d forgotten your breath-taking
Muldercentric view of the world. Let me tell you something, Mulder. You aren’t
the only one who has suffered during these past few years. I’ve lived like
an animal, and I’ve been hunted like one. I’ve always been on the run,
fighting and running for every single day of the past three years. I’ve
lived in constant fear of my life, in constant fear of the Qundi, and there
were days when my hands shook so badly I couldn’t even hold my gun.” He
stopped short, feeling an old, familiar churning in his gut, and a sharp
stabbing pain in his side. He held onto the side of the elevator, and tried to
remember to breathe. He didn’t want to collapse out here, and have Mulder
pick him up and start carrying him around again.
“They didn’t want to fight you. They didn’t
want that,” Mulder whispered. “They took good care of you in the prisons.”
“We didn’t know what the hell happened to
those of us they captured!” Skinner retorted angrily, getting out of the
elevator as soon as it opened, and leaving the building without looking back,
his whole body suffused with rage against the aliens who had invaded his
world. “They disappeared into Qundi compounds never to be seen again. For
all we know they could have been being tortured, or eaten alive by those alien
bastards. Mulder – you have no idea what it's been like here.”
“This whole war, it’s all because of not
being able to communicate,” Mulder retorted furiously, throwing Skinner’s
suitcase into the car, and kicking the wheel in sheer frustration. “Walter,
if you only knew what I know. If you could ever just sit down and talk to them
the way I have…Christ, what a nightmare.” He slammed his fist against the
car door. They faced off against each other, anger running through their
exchange like something visible, almost tangible, their bodies tense. “I’m
sorry.” Mulder crumpled against the side of the door. “Walter, I haven’t
talked to anyone for over three years – that does tend to focus a man’s
soul on his own self somewhat more than usual.” His shoulders hunched into a
self-deprecating shrug, and Skinner gave a wry grunt in reply. “I’m sorry
that I didn’t know what you were going through back here. I’m sorry that I
didn’t think that you might not want to go along with my plans, but there’s
one thing you have to believe: I am not a traitor to this world. I’m
doing what I think is right, what’s best. You know what I’m like when I
believe in something. You know how single-minded I can be. You trusted me
once, Walter, all I’m asking is that you do it again – at least for long
enough for me to show you that I’m right. This is just like the old days isn’t
it?” He looked up with a grin.
“What?” Skinner frowned.
“You, demanding proof. Me promising to deliver
it – and the jury remaining out until then.”
Skinner couldn’t help smiling at that. “Yes,
old friend,” he said mockingly. “It’s just like the old days.”
And, just like the old days, he was straddling both sides of the fence - and
taking a hell of a lot on trust.
The next few weeks went by so quickly that
Skinner barely had time to catch his breath. He seemed to have drifted into
his job as Mulder’s liaison officer by default. By not saying no, Mulder
assumed he had said yes. And there was so much to do. There were so many
displaced people to find homes for, and new Qundi regulations to implement.
Those stuck in Skinner’s craw, but he couldn’t deny that Mulder had been
right about some of what he had been promised; the Qundi ensured that there
was enough food for every single human being on the planet, and that everybody
received excellent medical care - as Skinner could testify. His tuberculosis
was quickly cured by the Qundi, the damage to his lungs repaired, and within a
couple of months he was back up to his old weight, and his face had lost that
haggard, drawn quality. He was well on his way to becoming a shiny, reborn
human, just like Mulder. Third world countries that had suffered from extreme
poverty and disease were transformed overnight by the kind if unyielding hand
of Qundi dictatorship. It wasn’t achieved without considerable hard work
though. Skinner lost count of the number of times he stayed up all night,
working with Mulder, setting up lines of communication, and finding
appropriate members of the local populace to explain and help implement Qundi
directives all over the world. Mulder never gave less than his eccentric best;
he was a constant stream of ideas, some of them workable, some of them not,
and they worked so brilliantly well together that it was like making the
sweetest music. Skinner was able to use his own formidable administrative
skills and sharp intellect to implement Mulder’s plans to best effect. He
discarded those that were unworkable, and reigned in the worst of Mulder’s
excesses. He was a curb to the other man’s natural brilliance and
exuberance, and he kept Mulder channeled and focused. Skinner was astonished
by how quickly he recovered from
what had been a life threatening illness.
Working with the Qundi wasn’t as easy as
working with Mulder. Skinner shuddered his way through the daily meetings
Mulder held with them. Mulder might have been Overlord of Earth, but he
answered to the Qundi, and was held to account by them. Mulder, never very
good with authority at the best of times, sometimes came out of those meetings
looking decidedly green around the gills. On those occasions Skinner took him
out of the office, made him walk, talk, let off steam, and they always
invariably ended up back at Skinner’s apartment, eating whatever the big man
could find in his fridge. Whatever ‘enhancements’ the Qundi had done to
Mulder, had definitely changed him, Skinner observed, sitting watching the
other man devour the remains of the previous night’s pizza. He was still
Mulder in essence, but he had developed an aversion to eating or drinking in
public, or alone, and he made no secret of the fact he liked taking his meals
with Skinner. By contrast, he was much more openly tactile than the Mulder of
old.
“What were they hassling you about this time?”
Skinner asked, taking a bite of pizza, and leaning back on the couch.
“The rebels.” Mulder took a swig of beer,
and leaned back as well, so that their shoulders were touching. Skinner had
grown used to the way Mulder needed to be in such close physical contact –
particularly when he was trying to explain a difficult idea or concept. Mulder
would often lean over him as he worked, and place both his hands on Skinner’s
arm, or slide his fingers over Skinner’s shoulders, caressing and petting
him. At first Skinner had found it profoundly embarrassing, but he had grown
accustomed to it, and there was no doubt that they worked better, and
understood each other more easily when he allowed Mulder to act freely,
without inhibition.
“What about them?” Skinner asked
nonchalantly, moving his shoulder away. He knew that Mulder was using touch to
communicate, the same way the Qundi used it, but he wasn’t entirely sure how
the process worked… or whether any of his own thoughts spilled back to
Mulder, and he didn’t want to betray his old friends unintentionally.
“The Qundi think that if I could just talk to
this Phoenix, and bring him around to our way of thinking, then he could
convince the other rebel groups to give up their weapons too. It’s such a
waste, Walter. These people living in those caves like animals when they could
be contributing to what we’re trying to achieve.”
“You can’t make people see things your way,
Mulder,” Skinner pointed out. Their eyes met, and Mulder’s were half
amused, half sad.
“I do know that, Walter,” he replied softly,
alluding to their own situation. He moved his hand to Skinner’s shoulder,
and squeezed gently, and Skinner closed his eyes, and surrendered to the
caress. The truth was that Skinner liked being touched. He liked feeling those
long, slender fingers on his body, searing their heat on his flesh through his
thin cotton shirt. Mulder was so dangerously compelling an individual that it
took all his willpower to resist. Mulder had been true to his word and made no
further attempt to seduce the big man, and there were many times when Skinner
wanted to make that short walk from his apartment to Mulder’s rooms in the
White House…but he didn’t for two reasons. The first was that he knew that
if he made that journey he would be committing himself not only to Mulder, but
also to Mulder’s cause, and, by default to the Qundi cause, and Skinner wasn’t
ready to do that. The other reason was Scully.
“Walter, do you know who Phoenix is?” Mulder
asked.
“No.” Skinner said the word too fast, and
held his breath.
“But you do know how to find him,” Mulder
said softly. Skinner grunted, trying to stay one step ahead. “Walter, will
you help me find him?” Mulder’s voice was warm and husky against Skinner’s
ear. “Please?” Skinner fought it for a moment, wanting nothing more than
to wrap his arms around Mulder and pull him close, to give in, both to the man
he loved, and to what he represented. He was so very tired of fighting.
Somehow, he found the strength to play an old, familiar game.
“There was a man in the prison camp. If you’d
agree to his release, I could talk to him. He isn’t Phoenix, but he might
know where we can find him,” Skinner said. Mulder’s fingers brushed over
his lips, and his eyes burned holes in Skinner’s soul as he weighed this up.
Skinner looked into their vivid hazel depths for what seemed like eternity.
Trust had become the tightrope they seemed destined to walk forever.
“The Qundi won’t like it. They don’t like
releasing prisoners,” Mulder mused. “You have no idea the battle I had
with them over getting you out. They’ll only release the rebels when the