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Posted 30th May, 1999.
Massive thanks, as always, to Holmes
for the thorough beta reading. Also to Sergeeva for her help, and patience in listening to
me talk this story through for the past several months.
This story will (eventually) cover a number of
years, starting mid-way through season 6 when Mulder and Scully are still working under AD
Kersh. It's gonna be a loooooong series.
Spoilers: Avatar, One Breath. Season 6.
Thanks to Daydreamer for her inspiring creation
of Commando!Skinner in Retrieval (and sequels). Also to Holmes,
whose Folie A.D. has such a beautiful Young!Walter in
it. Both these stories can be found on the WalterTorture site
Huge thank you to Frogdoggie for making the
wonderful pic.
Part Two: Found.
Scully blinked. She was in a forest, surrounded
by trees. It was night. She shivered, and instinctively wrapped her arms around her body
for warmth. Later, she realized that despite the darkness, and the wintry appearance of
the bare branches of the trees, it was, in actuality, quite warm. Three fingers of light
shone through the woods - displaced moonbeams that didn't do more than cast an eerie glow
over her predicament. Scully took a deep breath, and started to walk.
She had been walking for a long time, when she
paused for a moment, resting her back against a tree trunk, surprised that it didn't feel
cold to the touch. It didn't even feel ridged, or uncomfortable, despite its gnarled
appearance. Scully looked around, and then frowned. She had been walking for miles, but
she was still in the same clearing. Nothing had changed - the trees still enclosed her
within their looming, ominous circle, and the same three fingers of light still shone
through, casting long, terrifying shadows through the trees. Scully closed her eyes, and
then opened them again. She was imprisoned here - lost in a dark wood, where nobody would
ever find her. There was no way out.
*****
LP Manufacturing Inc.
January 8, 1999
Linus Pelman opened the door to his office, and
fumbled for the light switch.
"Damn," he cursed as the room remained
in darkness. "Bulb must have blown." He felt his way carefully across the room
until he came to his desk, and opened the bottom drawer, reaching in to find the bottle of
whisky he kept there
only to discover that the drawer was empty.
"It's here." A voice in the darkness
made him jump, and he saw a figure seated behind his desk. "I considered draining the
bottle, but then I realized that you probably have even more need for oblivion than I do,
Mr. Pelman. Perhaps you have more on your conscience."
"Who are you?" Pelman whispered.
"I'm the man who stole your light
bulb," the intruder said with a grim chuckle. "I'm also the man who's got a gum
aimed at your head, so why don't you just sit down, and I'll ask the questions."
"I'll call security
" Pelman
blustered.
"I've taken care of your security as
you call them, although I think 'soldiers on loan from a nearby military base' describes
them more accurately. They're here to guard their precious new weapon aren't they?"
"Who are you?" Pelman edged his
way nervously into a chair.
"That depends." The other man shrugged,
pushing the bottle of whisky across the desk. "If you tell me everything I want to
know, then I'll disappear into the night and you can just think of me as a figment of your
imagination. A ghost."
"And if I don't?" Pelman asked,
ignoring the proffered whisky.
"Then I'll have the honor, or misfortune,
depending on how you look at it, of being the last person you speak to before you
die."
*****
"Scully?"
"Melissa?"
"You killed Melissa."
"Mom? Mom, where are you?"
"Dana, sweetheart."
"Bill, don't tell daddy. Please."
"Daddy?"
Scully curled herself up into a tight ball and
placed her hands over her ears. The darkness of the forest soothed her. She was safe here.
The moonbeams bathed the trees in a darkly luminous glow, comforting, and warm, like being
enclosed in a womb. Scully crouched at the base of the largest tree, trusting it to hide
her and keep her safe, as if she were a small woodland creature - a mouse, or a squirrel.
If she stayed here, she'd be okay.
"There you are." The voice sounded
clear, and too loud, echoing around the clearing. Scully jumped, and looked up.
"Mulder?" It was still dark, but she
could just about make out a shadow through the trees.
"Yeah, it's me, Scully. Who were you
expecting, huh?" He was leaning against a tree, looking incongruous in this forest,
dressed as he was in his smart work suit, with one of his tasteless ties around his neck.
"Mulder
oh, Mulder." She uncurled
her tightly scrunched body and got up, ran over, then stopped just in front of him,
feeling utterly relieved that she was no longer alone.
"I was
" She paused. His hazel
eyes were laughing at her.
"Scared? Surely not. The rational Dr. Scully
is scared of a little old forest?"
"Mulder
" she began, disturbed by
his tone, but he turned on his heel and started to walk away from her. "Come on,
Scully. Get those little legs moving, or we'll be late!" he called over his shoulder.
"Mulder, no. I don't want to
I don't
want to leave here." Scully held onto one of the trees for safety, and security.
"Don't be stupid, Scully. Follow me. You
know you will. You always do." He gave an infuriating smirk, and strode off into the
woods. Scully took a deep breath, staring uncertainly at his disappearing back, and then,
with one last glance around the forest, she followed him.
*****
LP Manufacturing Inc.
January 8, 1999.
"What do you want to know?" Pelman
licked his lips nervously, staring at the stranger, whose face was obscured by a black ski
mask, and whose hand definitely, and unequivocally, held a gun.
"I want to know all about your coma-inducing
weapon. I want to know who designed it, and I want to know how its effects can be
reversed."
"That information is classified. I can't
possibly tell you," Pelman stammered. "If I do, they'll kill me."
"If you don't, I'll kill you."
The man stated implacably.
"If you do, you'll never find out."
Pelman retorted, eyeing the whisky on the desk, wanting it - needing it.
"Ah, an impasse." The man leaned
forward, and poured a large measure of whisky into a glass tumbler. He held it out to
Pelman. "Take it," he urged. Pelman reached out a shaking hand, only to find his
wrist pulled into a rough grasp. He was pulled bodily forwards until he could feel the
other man's warm breath on his cheek, and then blunt fingertips were placed against his
head. "I have another way of finding out. I can take the information I
require."
Pelman opened his mouth to scream, but found it
silenced, as if the weight of a large blanket had fallen over his mind. He felt a pain,
thrusting deep inside his head, and he gasped, whimpering.
"Ethics. They're so conveniently selective,
aren't they?" The boy stood behind Pelman, his eyes mocking.
"Fuck off." Skinner growled.
"So - you won't share yourself with Scully,
because it's what? An intrusion? But you don't mind forcing yourself into this man's head
and taking what you want."
"There are lives at stake." Skinner
insisted in a desperate tone.
"Self-righteous justification - and you know
it. You don't have any link with this guy. If you push your way into his mind it'll drain
you, and you'll end up as weak as a puppy. It'll hurt you, and him, and I don't think
you'll ever get over the guilt."
"If Mulder and Scully die I won't get over
that either." Skinner snapped.
"Go ahead then." The boy shrugged.
"I only tell you what you already know anyway."
Pelman watched as the man who held him in that
vice-like grip fought some kind of internal struggle, his eyes fixed on a point somewhere
over Pelman's shoulder, holding a conversation with somebody who didn't exist. Finally,
the iron grasp of those fingers on his arm slackened, and the man released him.
"Just tell me," the intruder begged,
leaning forwards into the half-light, so that Pelman could see the desperate look in his
dark eyes.
"There's not much to tell you. I only
manufacture one of the components of the weapon, and get the other components from seven
other factories and assemble them onsite. I have no idea why and how the components
produce the effects that they do when combined." Pelman found himself responding to
the unspoken plea in the other man's eyes, as much as to the gun pressed against his
heart. "Look, buddy, I'd like to help you, but I don't know any more than you do. I
just know that we had an accident on the factory floor a few days ago, and everyone within
hearing distance went into a coma. My guess is that the weapon works on an aural level,
but I don't know how."
"Do you know how the effects can be
reversed?"
Pelman hesitated, knowing that he was about to
dampen that faint light of hope in the other man's eyes. He had no way of knowing how his
attacker would respond to what he was about to say, or whether he would use the gun he
still held pressed into Pelman's flesh.
"I'm sorry," he whispered at last,
"but as far as I know there is no way of reversing it."
"There must be!" The man's voice was a
desperate whisper.
"If there were a way, why would I know it?
Did Oppenheimer know how to reverse the effects of the atom bomb?"
There was a grim silence in the aftermath of this
spoken truth, and the masked man took a deep breath, and ran a hand over his head, as if
thinking out loud, pacing the room as he did so.
"Who is your contact at the Military Base?
Who ordered this?"
"I don't know. I don't have a contact
there. At least I don't have the same one twice."
"Why then? Why Mulder and Scully? Why use
the weapon on them? For what purpose?"
"The FBI agents?" Pelman licked his
lips nervously. "Look, I had nothing to do with that. Security must have reported
back that they were both caught trying to break in here. Someone at the military base must
have ordered their
" he trailed off, uncertainly.
"Oh god." His assailant stopped his
pacing, and rocked back on his heels. "I've been stupid," he said. "So, so
stupid."
*****
"Mulder!" Scully chased after him, but
he seemed to have disappeared, as had the forest. She looked around. It was winter. She
was dressed in a thick black coat, with black leather gloves on her hands. She was in a
church. Everybody was wearing black - and her mother was sobbing. Scully put her arm
around the weeping woman, and they left the church together, and started walking behind
the coffin as it was taken outside. She saw her brother, Bill. He looked grim faced,
almost angry. Her heart jumped suddenly. There was Mulder!
"Mulder." She ran up to him, caught his
arm. He turned, and gazed at her solemnly.
"Maybe I shouldn't have come."
"I'm glad you did."
"Your brother
"
"I'm glad you're here," she told
him firmly. Bill gave them both a look of disapproval. Scully sighed - she was used to
Bill's disapproval. They walked slowly towards the grave, but Scully's footsteps faltered
and slowed as they drew close.
"I don't want to go here," she
whispered.
"You have to." Mulder said flatly, his
hand holding her arm with a grip like steel.
"No
" she tried to say the words,
but they wouldnt come out. Mulder's eyes glinted a dark, malevolent hazel.
"You aren't
Mulder
" she
breathed, trying to pull away.
"And you can't escape."
He dragged her towards the grave, pushed her in
front of him, holding her shoulders tightly so that she couldn't move. She looked down. In
front of her were three freshly dug graves, and inside them were three open coffins, each
of them containing a body. Scully tried to turn her face away, but Mulder swung her
around, and made her look at the first body.
"Daddy," she whispered. He looked gray
and old, rigid and cold. She reached out a hand to him, but his eyes remained closed.
"Dead." Mulder said, in a cold flat
tone. He shoved her towards the next grave.
"I don't want to
" She struggled
in his grip, but he was too strong. Missy lay in the next coffin, her long red hair dull
and lifeless, her slender hands crossed over her chest, clutching a single white rose.
"Oh, Missy." The tears came unbidden to Scully's eyes.
"Dead." Mulder told her, picking her
up, and swinging her bodily towards the next grave.
Don't
" Scully begged. "Please
don't
" She closed her eyes. This grave was small, and she knew without looking
who she would see there.
"Look at her!" Mulder shook her until
she opened her eyes and gazed down on the innocent round face.
"Emily." Scully stood rooted to the
spot.
Mulder laughed. "Dead - all of them dead
because of you."
"Because of me? No. Daddy
"
"Melissa, Emily - they died because of you.
Your father tried to contact you but you wouldn't listen - you wouldn't hear him,
would you? It was his last message to you, and you couldn't be bothered to find out what
it was."
"That's not true!" She cried.
"Please, Mulder stop this. It hurts. It all hurts too much."
"We haven't finished yet - don't you want to
see the future?" he asked, pushing her again, his fingers digging into her flesh as
he propelled her across the ice-encrusted grass towards three more graves, lying side by
side a little way off.
"No. I don't. I don't want to!" Scully
squirmed in his grasp, trying desperately to free herself, but his strength was
superhuman, and soon she found herself staring down at another open coffin. Inside, lying
with his eyes open, staring lifelessly into space...was Mulder.
"NO!" She cried, spinning around to
look at the visage of the being that held her. His eyes gleamed malevolently from Mulder's
face as he grinned at her.
"And the next one." He picked her up
again, and threw her towards the second grave. "This one should amuse you."
"No
" she whispered, knowing,
dreading what she would find. "Not this. No." His fingers closed on her shoulder
blades, and it was like being held by pure ice. He pushed her close, and she peered inside
- and found herself staring back, eyes wide and lost. Scully shivered.
"What's the matter - someone walk over your
grave?" Mulder whispered chillingly in her ear, his voice breaking off into a
cheerless, malicious laugh. "Last one."
She shook off his hands. "I'll walk there
myself," she told him defiantly. Skinner lay in the last coffin, dressed in black,
only
he wasn't dead. He was talking to her, but she couldn't hear what he was
saying. She threw herself forward, trying to catch his words, but she couldn't quite make
sense of them.
Her heart froze as the coffin lid was screwed
down, and earth was piled on top of the casket. "He isn't dead." She turned to
her captor, and pounded against his body with her fists. "He's alive! You can't bury
him alive!" The being just laughed again, and turned away, disappearing from sight.
Scully jumped down into the
grave, and tried to pull the earth away, to pry open the coffin with her fingers.
"Skinner!" she shouted.
"Help me! I can't hear you
please come back, come back and rescue me
Don't
disappear, don't go
please don't go
"
She worked for what seemed like a
lifetime, the tears spilling down her cheeks and onto the freshly dug ground below, but
her efforts made no difference. Soon, the earth was piled high on the coffin, then grass
grew over the earth, and trees on top of the grass, and when she looked up again, it was
night. The moon shone its three fingers of light through the branches of the trees, and
she was lost once more in a dense forest. Scully sat down under one of the trees, and
curled herself up in a tight ball, her arms around her knees, staring blankly into the
darkness.
*****
George Washington University Medical Center.
January 8, 1999
Skinner sat down on the chair in the hospital,
too weary to even think straight. He stared, dazed, at the two bodies, lying side by side,
with their wide, sightless eyes. He had brought Scully back to DC with him, traveled
beside her the whole way, holding her hand, and trying desperately to push his mind into
hers, to find her, but like Mulder, she too was missing, lost. He had tried talking to
her, as he had talked to Mulder, but her eyes hadn't even flickered in recognition of his
voice. He wasn't going to leave her there though, in that town where she had no friends,
abandoned among strangers. If she were going to die, she would do so lying next to Mulder,
the two of them together, where they belonged. If she were going to die
Skinner was
too tired to fight the sense of loss and anger, and it spilled into him, eating him alive.
He sat there, feeling dislocated from his own
body, watching their breathing, gazing blankly at their pale faces, at the empty blue eyes
and the vacant hazel ones, both of them fixed at a point somewhere in space, beyond his
ability to reach them. He sent his mind wearily along the half-formed nexus between them,
looking for something, anything, but found only an echoing silence that made his heart
ache. For the first time in three years, he was alone again - more truly and profoundly
alone than anybody could comprehend. It was a loneliness that bit deep into his heart and
tore open his soul, leaving a great, gaping wound.
He heard a noise in the distance, and after
several disoriented seconds, located the source - his cell phone was ringing.
"Skinner."
"Sir? This is the Carroll County Hospital.
You asked for news
"
"Yes?" Skinner's heart pounded inside
him, and he felt a surge of hope, sitting up straight.
"I'm sorry, sir. The four remaining coma
patients all died within minutes of each other about an hour ago."
"I see." Skinner cut the connection,
and stared glumly into space for a long time, the 'phone hanging from his nerveless grasp.
Finally he found some energy from somewhere. "I'll get revenge," he told the
silent agents, as he struggled to his feet, and walked wearily towards them. "I
promise you that. I'll find whoever did this to you, and to those other poor bastards, and
I'll break them in two with my bare hands. They won't live for long after you go." He
stood between their beds, and took one last look at them. He ran his fingers through
Mulder's hair, and down the side of the other man's still face, and then he bent to
deposit a kiss on Scully's forehead. "I'm sorry I couldn't keep you safe," he
whispered, taking off his glasses, and brushing his fingers over wet eyes. "I'm so,
so sorry. Please forgive me." Then he left.
*****
Scully closed her eyes and put her hands over her
ears, trying to block out the sounds of the wind as it whistled through the trees, making
their branches sway, and rustle, and whisper.
"Shut up," she said through gritted
teeth, as the whispers grew louder.
"Dana!" A voice called. She opened her
eyes in surprise. In front of her, dressed in a striped red tee shirt, was a small boy.
"Were you hiding?" he asked.
"Charlie? Yes
yes I was," Scully
told him. It was sunny, and the forest suddenly didn't seem so threatening.
"I've made a den. Want to come and see
it?" Charlie asked her.
"Yes." She got to her feet, and looked
down at her thin cotton dress. Her bare white legs and sandal-encased feet were smaller
than she remembered.
"Come on." Charlie took hold of her
hand, and dragged her through the forest, until she was laughing, her long red hair
streaming out behind her.
"Bill helped me." Charlie told her
proudly, showing her the collection of cardboard boxes covered by raincoats that was the
den.
"Mom will kill you if you get those coats
dirty." Scully giggled.
"You won't tell though." Charlie
grinned at her.
"No way!" Scully crawled inside the
den. It was comfortable in here, safe and hidden. Maybe she would stay here forever. A
shadow fell across the entrance, and a large hand descended on her ankle, and dragged her
out.
"What have we got here?" a voice asked,
and she screamed with laughter, wriggling to escape.
"Bill, let me go, let me go!" she
gasped helplessly, as both her brothers descended on her.
"Death by tickling!" Charlie exclaimed.
"That always works on Dana!"
Soon she was a limp, panting, heap - exhausted by
her giggles. She lay on one of the raincoats, and grinned up at her two brothers.
"You are such a tomboy, Dana Kate."
Bill poked her in the ribs.
He looked so young - not serious, and grumpy, and
middle-aged before his time as he later became. Scully closed her eyes, feeling safe here
with her two brothers. Melissa rarely joined them - she was a girly girl, she liked
dressing up and playing with her hair. Dana hated those games; they bored her to tears. It
was much more fun playing with Charlie and Bill, teasing, being teased, roughhousing,
wading through streams, and getting dirty. Charlie always had the ideas, and Dana always
pointed out how crazy they were, but went along with them anyway, just so she could tell
Charlie "I told you so," afterwards. Bill would watch them with a superior big
brother air, and then wade in and rescue them when it all went wrong, just as Dana had
predicted. Scully looked up at the blue sky, and hoped nothing would change, and Bill
smiled down at her, his eyes glinting, and said three words:
"You killed Melissa."
Scully opened her mouth to protest, and instead
heard herself start to cry, a heart-rending, keening wail. She closed her eyes, and when
she opened them again, it was dark, and she was sitting in the forest surrounded on all
sides by a dense thicket of trees, tears pouring down her cheeks.
*****
Crystal City, VA
January 9, 1999
Skinner took a long, hot shower, trying to ease
the aches out of his shoulders and back, but the ache in his soul remained. He stared at
himself in the mirror for a long time, wondering if he really intended to go through with
this, and then nodded to himself. He went to his bedroom, and pulled on the black sweater
and combat pants that he had worn the other night. He checked his guns, and knives,
placing them in their holsters, then stood up, ready to go. His FBI badge caught his
attention, and he glanced at it for a moment before, regretfully, picking it up and
throwing it in the wastebasket. He had no intention of coming back, and he wouldn't use
his title for what he was going to do. This wasn't about Assistant Director Skinner, or
the FBI; this was personal.
"So, thats your decision is it?"
The boy was leaning in the bedroom doorway, his arms folded.
"Yes." Skinner brushed past him, and
ran down the stairs into the lounge.
"What are you going to do? Go on a
rampage?" The boy was already in the lounge, his eyes mocking.
"If need be." Skinner poured himself a
glass of whisky, and downed it in one gulp.
"You've figured out who's behind this
then?" The boy was seated on the couch, his long legs on the coffee table.
"Not exactly, but close enough."
Skinner grunted. "The accident at the factory caused injuries of such a bizarre
nature that Mulder believed a weapon was being manufactured utilizing alien technology.
When he went to investigate, he got caught. The military followed him back to his
apartment and used the weapon on him to shut him up."
"Neat. They got themselves a test subject -
and they also got rid of someone who was asking too many questions at the same time."
"So it would seem." Skinner poured
himself another glass of whisky. "That could have been the end of it all too easily.
"Only you and Scully showed up."
"Yes. I was a fool. A damned fool."
Skinner thumped his glass down on the table, shattering it, and spilling the contents onto
the carpet. The boy seemed unimpressed by this display of bad temper. "That guard at
the factory saw Scully's face when he took her mask off. I should have killed him."
Skinner's voice was low, his tone bitter.
"What was it Mom used to say?" The boy
turned his mocking face to one side. "Never regret the things you've done - only what
you haven't done?"
"Don't quote Mom at me. She had a saying for
every occasion," Skinner growled.
"And she wouldn't believe that you are
sitting here berating yourself for not killing somebody. Since when did killing
become your first, best option, Walter?"
Skinner shook his head. "This is different.
Scully will die because of me."
"So, you're going to charge down to that
military base, storm inside
and do what?" The boy asked. "Are you sure
you've thought this through?"
"The answer is in that base. Whoever gave
the order that Mulder and Scully were to be killed is in that base. I'm going to find
them, and I'm going to make them pay for what they did."
"Vigilante justice? That's not like you.
They're not dead yet," the boy murmured. "Maybe your revenge is
somewhat
premature?"
Skinner stared glumly at his feet. "Mulder
has less than 24 hours," he said. "The doctors don't have a cure for this. Why
should they? This is far beyond anything they've ever come across. Imagine the
implications of it, a weapon that can wipe out a unit of soldiers with one shot - they
don't even have to be in sight."
"Yes," the boy shrugged, "but if
you go down to that base, then maybe you'll end up in a hospital bed, staring into
nothing, just like Mulder and Scully. You won't be much help to them then."
"I'm not much help to them now,"
Skinner said despairingly. "I feel so
" He rested his head in his hands.
"They've always been there before," he confided. "For the past few years, I
just had to close my eyes and they were there. It was comforting, to hear their
thoughts, to see what they were seeing, even when they were hundreds of miles away. Now
they're gone. I can't be alone again." He looked up, his eyes bleak. "I'd rather
die."
"Mulder seemed to think that you could help
him." The boy pointed out.
"That stupid book." Skinner grunted.
"What the hell kind of help was that?"
"It was Mulder telling you what he wanted
you to do, the only way he could."
"I don't understand what he was trying to
say!" Skinner slammed his hand onto the book, which was lying on the coffee table in
front of him. "What is there in here that's of any use to me?"
"In your dream you were a
woodcutter
" the boy murmured. "That could be a clue."
"Do you have any idea how many damn
woodcutters there are in this book?" Skinner glared at him. "Hundreds.
Woodcutters are commonplace in fairy stories. They give advice, marry princesses, befriend
changelings, go on quests, abandon their children in forests, kill wolves, save children
abandoned in forests, turn out to be long lost kings
"
"Do you remember the Old Woman?" The
boy came and knelt down in front of Skinner, his dark eyes serious and intense.
Skinner exhaled deeply. "Of course," he
murmured. He could still see her face, her kind eyes, and long white hair. "She saved
me. She brought me back to life, and she still watches over me. She warned me about what
would happen to Sharon. She was trying to protect me. Why isn't she here now?" he
asked ruefully. "Isn't she paying attention? I need her help now, damn it!"
"Maybe she's busy protecting someone
else," the boy said. "Someone you care about. Maybe that's why I'm here
instead."
"I can't
this is all
"
Skinner struggled with it, wordlessly, for a long moment. "Mulder would be three
steps ahead on all this, but I can't handle it. I don't understand it!" he stated
bitterly. "This," he took a gun from his holster, "is something I can
understand." He got to his feet.
"If you don't help them then they will
die," the boy told him sadly. "Don't turn away from them now, Walter. They need
you."
"To do what?" Skinner exclaimed,
exasperated.
"What the Old Woman did for you," the
boy said quietly.
"Which is what?"
"She brought you back to life. You couldn't
have returned to your body without her, could you?"
"No." Skinner whispered.
"You know where Mulder and Scully are.
You've known all along. You've been there," the boy said insistently. "You've
been there, and you found a way back."
"Hansel and Gretel." Skinner said
suddenly.
The boy raised an eyebrow at this leap of
thought.
"The obligatory wicked stepmother abandoned
them in the woods. They couldn't find their way home. They used white stones at first, to
mark the route, and then bread, but the birds ate the bread, and they couldn't find a way
back. The Old Woman told me I couldn't stay there - I had to move on or go back. It's the
same for Mulder and Scully." He got to his feet, and paced the room anxiously,
running a hand over his head. "I cannot believe that I just theorized the cure for a
coma based on a fairy story," he muttered wryly. "It's absurd. Lack of sleep.
I'm going nuts. If they were here now they'd die laughing at me."
"You could find them. Bring them home."
The boy stood up.
"You think that's what Mulder meant? That he
was lost? He can't find the way back?"
"Don't you?" The boy shrugged.
"But how?" Skinner asked in despair.
"I tried to use the link to follow them, but I told you, I didn't complete the nexus,
I just made the beginnings of it. I couldn't find them - the link wasn't strong enough, or
they were too far away."
"There are other ways to travel." The
boy grinned.
*****
"Hi." Scully glanced up. A youth stood
there - about 17 years old, blond hair, blue eyes
and then there was two of him.
"Hi." The second one said.
"Hi." Scully looked back down at her
book, feigning disinterest.
"Tom."
"Todd."
Two voices piped in unison. She glanced up again.
"Hmm," she murmured. "Okay, I'm
hazarding a wild guess here. Twins, right?" Tom? Todd? What got into
some parents, she wondered idly to herself. She was used to a constant stream of
neighbors coming and going, some with kids, some without. Being a navy brat she was used
to making friends quickly, and saying goodbye in haste. She was used to it - but she
didn't like it. Her nature wasn't suited to quick friendships. She longed for knowledge,
for permanence, for the security of slowly getting to know, and getting known by, friends,
forging valuable bonds that would last for a lifetime. As she grew older, she had shunned
friendships altogether, contenting herself with her studies, and with her family. She'd
also grown closer to Melissa. Once Bill had left for college, she had turned to her older
sister for companionship, and they had both found, much to their surprise, that despite,
or maybe because of having nothing in common, they got along well. Each had
qualities the other didn't possess, but admired in her sister. Now Melissa had flown the
nest as well, and Scully found herself feeling lonely. She had no intention of getting
close to these two blond, all-American kids, with their wide, lantern-jawed smiles, and
freckled noses though.
"We've just moved in." Tom, or possibly
Todd, informed her.
"Great." She looked back down at her
book.
"What are you reading?" Todd, or
possibly Tom, asked.
"A book." Didn't they get the message?
The 'don't talk to me, I don't want to know,' message?
From afar, an older Scully watched from under the
dark branches of a tree, three fingers of moonlight reaching through the forest to dapple
her hair. She found that she was smiling, despite herself.
"Why do you always want to be alone, when
it's so easy just to reach out
" Tom whispered, looking past the teenage Scully,
sitting in her backyard, his eyes meeting those of an older, sadder Scully, trapped all
alone in a dark forest. Scully felt those blue eyes beckon her, pull her back into her old
life, and she lifted her hand, wanting to feel warm flesh and blood, wanting to live
again. She was aware of two worlds colliding, the forest merging with her past life, and
she gasped as she found herself back in her 17-year-old body, sitting in the sunshine. Tom
was smiling at her, an easy smile that made her breath catch in her throat, and her heart
pound inside her chest. "We could go for a walk?" he suggested. "We don't
know the best places around here, do we, Todd?"
"No." Todd ducked his head. He was the
shy one of the two, Scully decided.
"You could show us." Tom said.
"There are no best places," she
informed them with a wry smile. "This is Dullsville, USA, but a walk sounds
fine."
She took Tom's hand, and he pulled her to her
feet.
"Dana," she said, finally smiling at
both of them. They smiled back, flashing two identical, cheesy grins. Oh, brother
*****
Crystal City, VA
January 9, 1999
The boy walked across the room, and picked up a
photo from the sideboard.
"Do you remember this?" he asked.
"Yes, of course." Skinner frowned.
"Do you remember when we'd all hit Saigon on
leave? Do you remember where we went?"
"Yes." Skinner stood behind the boy,
looked over his shoulder at the photo. It showed a unit of marines, goofing around for the
camera. Skinner closed his eyes, smelling the distinctive odor of rotting vegetation and
sweat that he associated with his days in Vietnam. He walked into a bar - he was leaner,
supple, but graceless, his long legs still gawky and awkward. He walked with a gangling,
loping stride. His friends were with him.
"Hi, boys," the woman behind the bar
said in her singsong voice. "You want the back room, yes?"
"Yeah." Murray slapped some money down
on the counter.
"It's all ready for you. I'll send my girls
in."
They disappeared into the back room. Skinner
remembered sitting on some faded red cushions, hearing the whir of a fan overhead. Someone
gave him something to smoke, and he opened his mind, allowing the sensation of being high
to drift through the link, calming and soothing them all. Casey opened the tin box on the
table and took out a syringe.
"Want to try something stronger, Walt?"
he asked, looking at his comrade through those innocent sandy eyelashes.
"No. I've told you before, I don't do that
stuff." Skinner shook his head.
"Come on. You've seen how good hash is
through the link, sharing the high." Casey filled the syringe, and brought it over to
where Skinner lay. "Well, this stuff is even better. We can't get that high without
you, Walt. You're the only one who can push it through the link. You have to take
it."
He undid Skinner's sleeve, rolled it up to his
elbow, and pressed around in his flesh to find a vein. Holding the syringe between his
teeth, Casey tied a strip of cloth around Skinner's arm, until the vein pulsed. The other
men just sat there, watching, their pupils dilated, waiting for their next high.
"All right, Walt?" Casey asked, holding
the syringe poised. Skinner felt their expectant minds inside his own, urging him to do
this for them. He nodded, and Casey grinned, rewarding him with a surge of excited energy.
The syringe was plunged into his arm, and he felt the substance flowing into his veins.
Girls joined them in the room, giggling, nuzzling
close with their straight dark hair and exotic, almond-shaped eyes, their musky perfume
heady in the hot night air. Skinner felt too hot. He undid his shirt, and the girl he was
with simpered, pressing her silky hair against his naked chest. He felt as if he was
floating, far, far away. This felt so good
The girl's lips teased at his flesh,
licked his nipples. He could feel Casey, pounding into the girl he was with, while she
called out in a foreign language, her legs wrapped around his back, her fingertips gouging
long red streaks down his back.
At the same time, the Lieutenant was having his
cock sucked, while he smoked some hash, one hand listlessly holding the joint, the other
lazily tangled into the hair of the prostitute who was blowing him.
Murray was kissing the girl he was with, his
hands stroking her thighs in an insistent rhythm
Skinner was in each of them, as the
orgy of their bodies became a shared orgy of the mind. The sounds grew loud and
indistinct, the faces hazy - a whirl of red and white. Panting, heaving flesh, laughter,
sweat running down foreheads, blood running down backs, semen spurting onto flesh, into
flesh, hot
too hot
Skinner was overwhelmed by the kaleidoscope of
images and sensations, and started to scream. He was on a carousel, going around and
around, but too fast. He was going to fall off. He was going so fast that the world had
turned into a heaving, writhing, roaring, blurring monster, devouring him whole
He
screamed as he spun off into a dark void, his mind leaving his body, and the link, far,
far behind. He turned, and looked back down on himself, lying senseless on those cushions,
the prostitute draped over him, licking his body. His eyes were open, and as he stared
into them, he found himself returning to his body, his consciousness flooding back inside
his flesh with a jolt. Feeling disoriented and ill, he pushed the girl off, leaned over,
and vomited onto the floor.
"Bad trip," was all they said, as they
pulled him up, and gave him some water. He never talked about what had happened - maybe he
had even forgotten it - until now.
"Drugs?" Skinner looked at the boy.
"It's one way of getting out of your
head," the boy grinned. "People do it all the time."
"Not me. I never touched hard drugs again
after that one time." Skinner shook his head vehemently.
"This is different. This isn't for you. It's
for them."
"It was for 'them' last time. A different
'them'." Skinner remembered the press of their minds, their expectation, and the
giddy excitement of pleasing them.
"They weren't dying." The boy pointed
out.
I can't
" Skinner felt a wave of fear
remembering the sensation of being high, out of control, rising out of his body. He felt
sick just thinking about it. "I can't do it," he whispered.
"Then they'll die." The boy shrugged.
Skinner stared into those uncompromising dark eyes, fighting the rising tide of distress
that was threatening to overwhelm him.
"Go away," he said, in a tone low with
rage. "Go away!"
"What's the matter, Walt? Scared to have
their deaths on your conscience? Scared that they'll die, and you'll know you could have
saved them if only you'd been brave enough?" the boy asked, in a sneering
tone. Skinner's hands snapped out and fastened themselves around the youth's neck only to
find that it was insubstantial, and the boy slipped out of his grasp.
"I told you - you can't kill me!" The
youth exclaimed, unaffected by Skinner's attack. "I'm part of you. There's no getting
rid of me and besides
" his dark eyes glinted with amusement. "I think
you're going to need me."
"I don't need you," Skinner snapped.
"I don't need anybody."
"Not even them? Not even Mulder and
Scully?" The boy taunted. Skinner closed his eyes, and saw their pale faces, lying on
the hospital bed.
"The way I see it is this," the boy
stated. "You have a choice to make, Walter.You can either blast your way into the
military base like Rambo and get yourself killed, or you can lead Mulder and Scully out of
their mental prisons, which is what Mulder asked you to do in the first place.
"I said I wouldn't go back there."
Skinner crouched down on the floor, his arms around his knees. He remembered a white
light, and a dark tunnel. "I was scared. I never wanted to look beyond that
experience. I'm not like Mulder. I don't get off on this stuff."
"You'd rather die than leave your body, and
face your past?" The boy whispered softly, kneeling in front of the big man, and
holding his face between blunt, bloodstained fingers.
"Yes
no
" Skinner trembled.
"You don't know what you're asking."
"I do." The boy smiled, sadly, his
fingers finding Skinner's and melting into them, fitting him like a glove, or mirror
image. The same hands, the same fingers, the same tilt of the jaw, and the same eyes, only
younger. "Of course I do, Walter."
Skinner looked into those familiar brown eyes for
an eternity. Finally, he took a deep breath, and got to his feet.
"Ready?" The boy asked, holding out his
hand.
Skinner nodded, accepting the proffered hand. The
boy melted into Skinner's body, settling inside him, his mocking dark eyes glowing for a
moment from within Skinner's serious ones.
"I think I know just the place,"
Skinner murmured.
*****
It was summer. The woods were green and lush, and
a stream gurgled over dark mossy rocks and stones. Scully lay on her stomach, and trailed
her fingers through the cool water.
"Happy?" Tom asked.
"Yes." She turned and smiled at him.
"We can stay here, can't we?" she asked, glancing fearfully around the forest,
straining her ears to make sure that the whisperers hadn't returned.
"Of course. If you want." He took hold
of her hand and kissed her fingers, gently, one by one. She lay back, feeling mellow,
enjoying the sunlight, the company. She could see Todd a little way off, examining
something he'd found in the stream, a lock of blond hair falling into his eyes, a frown
creasing his forehead. Todd was the clever, unpredictable one: quiet and studious, but
given to fits of moody introspection that only Tom could rescue him from. Tom was
sensible, stable, easy going. Everybody loves Tom, Scully thought to herself, even
me
She had known the twins for a year, and they had become inseparable in that
time.
Scully shivered as Tom's lips traveled up her
arm, along her neck, and finally ended up at her mouth. He paused, wanting her permission,
and she took hold of him and pulled him down on top of her, shocking herself to the core
of her Catholic soul. His mouth felt so good though, and she parted her lips to let him
in. He tasted of the cider they had both recently drunk. He was heavy, and she was
enjoying the rhythmic movements of his solid body against her own a little bit too much.
She felt a hand smoothing her hair, and looked up into Todd's blue eyes, and shy, gentle
smile.
"You're so pretty, Dana," he whispered.
Scully smiled at him, as Tom drew back. Melissa had always been the pretty one - Dana had
been the Plain Jane. She had never thought of herself as pretty before. Tom lay down
beside her, his hand stroking her arm. She glanced at him, and he nodded, agreeing with
his brother.
"You're our pretty Dana," he said. His
fingers moved to the front of her blouse and unbuttoned it, his eyes never leaving her
face as he watched her to see if she would allow him to continue with his exploration. She
knew that she should ask him to stop, but the truth was that she didn't want to. Todd's
fingers continued to stroke her hair, then slipped down, and gently touched her lips. She
glanced at Todd, and then at Tom.
"You know, we always share everything."
Tom said, with an apologetic little half smile.
"Is that all right, Dana?" Todd's lips
brushed against her cheek, and she knew that she should be shocked. She wanted to be
shocked, to turn against them, to get up and storm away, outraged, but somehow she
couldn't. This felt so
right. They both loved her, and she loved them. What was wrong
with that? She realized then, that she couldn't have chosen between them, even if she'd
tried. She wanted them both. They had always treated her like a goddess, their Dana, the
center of their universe, and she loved them for it.
"Yes. Yes of course, " she whispered,
pulling Todd's head down so that she could taste his lips too. Tom's fingers finished
unbuttoning her blouse and pulled it open, his cool fingers slipping gently beneath the
fabric of her bra, and finding one swollen, eager nipple. Scully gasped, arching her body
into his caress. She had never been touched like this before - she had touched herself,
during dark nights of guilty self-exploration, but this was different. This sent waves of
something warm, exotic, and exciting coursing through her veins. Todd's fingers rippled in
her hair, as his tongue clashed against her own, exploring her mouth, while Tom's fingers
just played, gently, with her nipples, and soon her body was afire with both sensations.
Tom's hands went lower, pulling at the waistband of her skirt, tugging it down, and she
wriggled her hips to help him. It was soon disposed of, and his fingers edged up slowly
inside her panties. He glanced at her face, to make sure she wanted this, but Scully was
enjoying herself too much to resist.
She moaned out loud as one of Tom's fingers
disappeared into the warm, moist, folds between her legs, and clenched hard around him.
Todd, meanwhile, had taken Tom's place at her breasts, gently unfastening her bra, and
loosening them from their captivity, holding each one in his hands, kissing first one,
then the other. Scully had never felt so totally the center of attention. As one of four
children she had always had to fight to be noticed, but here, now, she was the focus of so
much love and adoration that she wished time would slow to a standstill so that she could
savor this moment forever.
As if in a dream, she found herself unbuttoning
Todd's shirt, smoothing it away from a hairless golden chest, and hard, youthful muscles.
She licked at a nipple, and watched in wonder as he threw back his blond head and his
Adam's apple jutted out, bobbing convulsively. On an impulse, she kissed his throat,
nipping him slightly with her teeth. His fingers closed around her nipples, teasing them
until she was writhing with the sensation, and then he bent his head and sucked. Every
nerve-ending in Scully's body exploded, and she was aware for the first time, that Tom had
removed her panties, and was caressing her inner thigh, his own pants open, and his erect
cock nudging her entrance.
"I've got something, Dana. Protection for
you." He pulled a packet from his pocket, and it took her a while to know what he
meant. She knew that she should say 'no', knew that if she did, the twins would stop their
loving caresses, but she didn't want that. Her eyes met Tom's over his brother's head, and
she nodded, imperceptibly. He gave her a smile of pure joy, unwrapped the condom, and
rolled it onto his eager cock. Then he gently parted the folds of flesh between her legs,
and pushed into her eager, waiting body.
Scully was gripped by a wave of longing, and she
found her legs wrapping themselves around his hips, pulling him close, forcing him deeper
into her waiting body. Her hands tangled in Todd's hair, as he sucked on her breasts, and
she gave a gasp of pain as Tom's hard cock pushed deep inside her, then the pain receded
as swiftly as it had come. She rocked in time to his thrusts, her body overloading from
the attention it was receiving at their eager, adoring hands. She flung her head back, and
saw the sunlight flooding through the forest, bathing their union with its blessing.
Her first orgasm was a blinding flash of light
that consumed her senses and left her reeling. She was aware from a distance that Tom was
still thrusting into her willing body, and that Todd still played with her breasts, but
she was on a different sensory plane entirely. Then she came back to herself, to find Tom
lying beside her, holding her, and stroking her sweat-dampened hair, while Todd directed
her willing fingers to his own hard cock. She had never touched a man's penis before, and
she felt a momentary curiosity as her fingers made contact with the thick length. She ran
her hands along Todd's cock, fondling and caressing, watching his face, loving the way he
flung his head back, and his tongue moistened his bottom lip. She could tell by his
expression that she was doing something right, and increased the pressure of her caress
until he came, with a shuddering sigh, and, like his brother, he flung himself down beside
her and wrapped her in his arms.
She felt safe this way, with these two boys, safe
within their embrace, sharing the closeness of their bond. This felt right. It felt like
belonging, being part of something greater than herself, something beautiful and
satisfying. I don't want this to end, an older, sadder, Scully wept, a wave of
foreboding sweeping through her. Please
I know what happens. Dont let it
continue. Please, please, stop it! She fled from her warm, sated body, and hovered
among the branches of the trees, gazing down on the naked, abandoned bodies below. Don't
make me live this again. I want to stop it. I want
She placed her hands over her
eyes, remembered footsteps, and her brother's look of horror as he found them. His sister
- the whore, lying naked with not one, but two lovers. She could remember the
disappointment in his eyes. He had been shocked to the core of his conservative Catholic
soul, and she couldn't blame him. She remembered running after him, frantically adjusting
her clothing, calling him back.
"Bill
please don't tell Daddy.
Please
" She remembered the way her brother had looked at her, the way he had
looked at her ever since. The disapproval was always there, warring with the love. He
hadn't told their parents what he had found that day, and he had never spoken to her about
it either, yet somehow it was always there between them. "I was always making things
up to Bill," Scully whispered, sinking back down beneath her tree, in the darkness.
"I was always trying to show him that he was wrong about me."
The darkness closed in around her, and she
clutched her knees to her chest, and placed her hands over her ears. Outside, beyond the
small circle of trees that both trapped her, and kept her safe, she could hear the
whispers starting again.
*****
Downtown Washington,
January 9, 1999
The woman behind the bar looked up as the man
walked in, some sixth sense, honed over many years working in this dive, telling her that
he was trouble. He was a bit older than her usual clients, but his hard, muscular body,
and the black combat clothes he wore hinted at danger. Something about him didn't ring
true to her. He looked out of place, and she knew that he didn't belong here.
"Can I help you?" She asked him
politely.
"Yes." He had a low, deep voice, and
his eyes were dark and unreadable behind the wirerims he wore. "I want to buy
something."
"Whatever you like." She spread her
hands, gesturing at the bottles behind the bar.
"That's not the kind of substance I want to
get high on," he told her.
"We don't have anything else." She
shrugged, reaching for a glass. "Now what can I get you?"
His hand shot out and grabbed her wrist.
"I want what you sell in the back rooms.
Don't pull any crap with me, I know what this place is, and I know what goes on
here."
"Are you a fed?" She asked, her heart
pounding. Something about him wasn't right; the way he looked, the way he spoke - even the
way he walked.
"No." He gave her what he probably
thought was a reassuring smile, but it only succeeded in alarming her further. "I
have cash." He moved aside his coat, revealing both his weapon and a quantity of cash
sticking out of an inside pocket. "Well?" He asked.
"All right. Go through." She pulled out
a key, and unlocked a door behind the bar, and he followed her into a dark corridor that
stank of urine and vomit. They walked along to a room, dimly lit, hazy with cigarette
smoke, and filled with empty, staring faces. A man stood by the door aimlessly cleaning
his gun. "Is this what you want?" The woman asked. Skinner nodded, and she
scuttled off back to the bar.
The man with the gun looked Skinner over, then
gestured with his head to a recess, partially obscured by a curtain. Skinner strode over,
slipped behind the curtain, and found himself in a booth, facing a gap-toothed man with a
large box full of tiny plastic envelopes, and several tubes containing hundreds of colored
pills.
"Jesus, what a place. These people are the
living dead." The youth hovered behind the drug dealer, glancing at the content of
the box. "At least back in 'Nam, there seemed to be something exotic about it - some
sense of fun, hedonism even. This is so
"
"Soulless." Skinner finished for him.
"What?" The gap-toothed man looked up.
"Nothing. I want to buy." Skinner
gestured with his head towards the box.
"What are you interested in?"
"Something that will take me out of my
body." Skinner told him seriously.
"You mean something that will blow your
mind?" The man grinned.
"If it does that too, I'll just view it as
an unfortunate side effect." Skinner shrugged.
"You want crack." The man said
confidently.
"No. I want heroin." Skinner replied.
"Or acid."
"You don't look like you take heroin."
The man peered at him through the hazy, smoky, half-light.
"My money looks like real money."
Skinner drew out a wad of dollar bills, and laid them on the table."
"You're not a junkie." The gap-toothed
man leaned back in his chair, surveying Skinner, sizing him up.
"I've done heroin." Skinner insisted,
counting out some bills, and then reaching across to place them in the other man's hand.
The man hesitated.
"We have to be careful. We don't want to be
busted."
"If I were a fed, I can assure you that it
would already be too late," Skinner snapped tersely. "I'm not going to bust you,
I want to buy from you."
"Okay." The other man finally made up
his mind. "It's expensive here, but at least you know it's not cut with rat poison
like those assholes sold those poor bastards who o.d. two days ago."
"Fine." Skinner nodded.
"And you pay for the protection." The
man gestured in the direction of the thug cleaning his gun in the doorway. "Nobody
messes with you while you're high."
"How
reassuring." Skinner
murmured.
The gap-toothed man nodded, taking his words at
face value. "We provide a service here," he said, sounding almost proud.
"It's an all-American kind of place."
Skinner commented ironically.
The man laughed. "Yeah. Just like apple
pie." He handed Skinner a sealed syringe. "It's all in there. Just inject and
fly."
Skinner took it and eased his way out of the
booth, glancing around the room until he found an empty table in the corner. When he got
there, he found the youth already sitting waiting for him.
"Is this going to work?" Skinner asked,
rolling up his sleeve, and tapping his arm to find a vein.
"How the hell should I know?" The youth
shrugged.
"Thanks. That's just what I wanted to
hear." Skinner snapped.
"Hey, I just say it like it is. That's the
deal - you know that by now. Well, are you going to sit there all day staring at it?"
The youth nodded his head in the direction of the vein that was now bulging up under the
pressure of Skinner's thumb.
"Shut up."
Skinner hesitated for a moment, and then plunged
the syringe into his waiting flesh, pushing the contents into his body. He closed his eyes
and leaned back, waiting for the rush, remembering the way it had felt all those years ago
in Saigon. The sounds in the room grew louder, and everything shifted into slow motion.
Skinner heard a voice, and turned his head towards it. He saw the boy, sitting beside him,
his mouth opening and closing as he spoke.
"What
? I can't hear you
"
Skinner said, and his mouth felt heavy, as he listened to the sound of his voice from a
great distance. He closed his eyes again, and when he opened them, he was sitting staring
at himself, as if had jumped straight into the youth's insubstantial 18-year-old body. He
glanced down at his bullet-ridden uniform, soaked in blood, and then across to where he
sat - older, heavier, his face etched with weariness and despair. His eyes were open,
blank and unseeing. Skinner waved a hand in front of the face he had previously only seen
looking back at him from mirrors, or reflected in water, or other people's glasses. There
was no movement; his eyes were staring into space - lost. Skinner shivered as a cold
sensation seeped into his soul, and then he found himself ascending to the ceiling,
looking down on the smoky room full of lost souls. He rose up further, into a dark void,
and beyond, towards a bright light.
*****
"Fox? I have to leave you now." The Old
Woman moved his head gently from her lap, and glided silently away from him.
"You can't go." He sat up,
panic-stricken.
"I have to. Jace is here." She smiled.
"I said that he'd come for you."
"Where is he?" Mulder looked around.
"Near. I must go and greet him." She
paused, putting one hand out, and resting it against the cell wall, and Mulder watched in
horror as her fingertips disappeared into the very fabric of the wall. He opened his mouth
in a wordless cry. Outside, the whispers grew louder.
"I don't have long do I?" He asked,
looking around, and shivering violently. The warm red glow of the cell had dissipated
almost to blackness.
"No." She shook her head. "When
Jace comes you must go with him, Fox. He doesn't have a magic wand that he can wave to
make you safe."
"Then how will I ever get out of here?"
Mulder whimpered.
"With strength, and courage. You have both
of those in abundance, and you can borrow them from Jace as well. He'll stand beside
you."
"That's not enough!" Mulder muttered
mutinously, but the Old Woman just shook her head.
"It has to be," she said, and then she
disappeared, her body melting into the wall as if it didn't exist. Mulder put his arms
over his head, and buried his face in his knees.
*****
Skinner stood still, bathed in a bright white
light. He heard a voice, and a dim shape walked towards him through the light.
"Jace?" A voice whispered, and it
echoed all around him, the word caressing him, like a lover.
"I'm here." He wasn't sure when he had
started to respond to the name 'Jace', but he just knew that it felt right.
"It's an old name. You've worn it for a long
time," she said, reading his thoughts, her body suddenly coming into focus, gray hair
floating around her shoulders in a ghostly cloud.
"I don't remember." He shrugged.
"No." Her voice was full of regret, and
she gathered him up in an embrace. He stood, stiffly for a moment, and then felt himself
relaxing. He trusted this woman. More than that, on some deep level that he couldn't
understand, he loved her. He felt her love flowing back into him, and for a moment
he couldnt feel his body. He merged with her in a flow of energy, and as he did so,
his consciousness touched an infinite number of other souls, and he was suffused with a
longing to join them.
"Not yet." The old woman whispered, as
he surrendered himself to the experience. "They just wanted to send their love."
He felt joined, at one with something larger than himself, in a way that he hadn't felt
since he lost his comrades all those years ago. The energy of those countless souls flowed
through him, connecting him to them, bathing him. He opened his heart, mind, and soul, and
felt them touch him, leaving him cleansed, refreshed, and strengthened for the task ahead.
"You were chosen," the old woman said,
her voice as heavy and sweet as honey. "Out of all of us, you were chosen for this
task, Jace. You haven't disappointed us."
"I want to come home," he murmured.
"Not yet," she said again, her voice
regretful. "We chose the brightest and the best from among our number. You're a very
old soul, Jace."
"As old as you?" He asked.
"Yes." She chuckled.
"And Mulder and Scully?"
"One of them old, the other new, made by us
all to meet the threat ahead of us, and shining as bright as a star." She spoke
proudly, like a mother talking about a special child. "We gave the best of ourselves,
tiny pieces, to form the new-born. You were all chosen, Jace, and you all accepted the
task, freely and willingly, knowing how hard it would be."
"What task?" Skinner asked, his body
becoming a loose collection of atoms, and each one of them merging with the light until he
was indistinguishable from his surroundings.
"You'll find out soon enough if you take the
right path, and I hope you do. We can't interfere, but we know you well enough to trust
that you will do what is necessary. If you fail, well
" She shrugged. "We
hope you don't."
"There's a lot at stake, isn't there?"
Skinner whispered.
"Yes. Our union is at stake, the
consciousness of every single one of us is at stake, and, less importantly perhaps, the
fate of your world is also at stake."
"I don't understand." Skinner felt his
body solidifying once more, and he could have wept for the loss of those minds touching
his, loving and supporting him. He glanced down at his torn uniform, and the blood that
liberally covered his body, oozing from a dozen wounds. "I look like an extra from a
horror movie," he commented wryly. "Why?"
"None of us are corporeal here, Jace. You're
wearing the body that you associate with this place, the body you were wearing the last
time you were here. That's the only way I can describe it. Now, you must do what you came
here to do, and find your friends."
"My friends?" Skinner stood there for a
moment, puzzled, and then realization swept through him. "Mulder, and Scully. I'm not
used to thinking of them as 'friends'."
"You'll soon learn to think of them as
something else entirely. I can take you to Mulder. Scully is
elsewhere. Now that
you're here I can go and find her. I couldn't leave Mulder before."
"Why? Is he all right?"
"Yes, but the longer he stays the weaker he
becomes. Come. Time is different here, but he doesn't have much of it, all the same."
Skinner followed her unquestioningly,
disappearing into a haze of bright light, and emerging on the other side into a completely
white space. A man lay on the floor, crouched in a fetal position, rocking backwards and
forwards.
Skinner looked questioningly at the Old Woman.
"Mulder?" He raised an eyebrow.
"Yes. He's in grave danger. He knows the end
is near and he doesn't have the strength to fight it for much longer."
"Why doesn't he leave here?" Skinner
asked, looking around. "What's stopping him?"
"This isn't how he sees it," she
explained with a shrug.
"Mulder." Skinner knelt down, holding
out his hand as if to a wary cat. Mulder gave a whimper and scrunched his body up even
tighter. "What's wrong?" Skinner glanced up at the Old Woman.
"He doesn't recognize you. He thinks you're
one of them."
"One of who?" Skinner frowned.
"The whisperers."
"I'm not making any sense of this."
Skinner stated flatly, fighting the fear inside. "These things scare me."
"I know. You're too rational." The Old
Woman smiled, and caressed the side of his face with her gnarled hand. "You must
learn to trust your instincts more."
"Like Mulder?" Skinner glanced at the
other man who still rocked back and forth at his feet, his body tightly clenched.
"Maybe not quite like Fox, no!" She
laughed. "He has his own destiny to follow, and he needs your strengths. He doesn't
need you to be a carbon copy of him." She saw his troubled expression and took pity
on him, her expression softening. "Jace - the child has been wrenched from his body,
but his mind and memories are intact. He's lost inside them. That's the closest I can come
to explaining it to you. If you want to get him to safety, and back to his body where he
belongs, then you have to enter into his delusion, and bring him out."
"How?" Skinner looked up at her
helplessly.
"Using the link you have with him of
course." She smiled.
"The link
that isn't properly formed.
It isn't a true nexus. I didn't complete it," he gabbled defensively, shame-faced.
"You feel guilty," she remarked,
looking at him keenly. "Well, I suppose that's understandable. Nonetheless, if you
want to save his life you'll have to complete the nexus between you."
"If I do that, there's no turning back.
We're in each other's thoughts, inside each other's minds until we die. I can't do that to
him without asking him if he'd want it first." Skinner told her.
"You can't ask him if he can't hear
you." She shrugged.
"You don't understand. Mulder's
very
independent. I think he'd hate being part of a nexus. I think it would frustrate
him, and I think he'd hate me for forcing him into it." Skinner stood up.
"So you're just going to leave him here to
die?" The Old Woman asked calmly. "Jace, you've already looked into his mind.
You've stolen glimpses of his soul when he wasn't looking. This time you can do it to save
his life. "
"Glimpses, yes. You're asking me to do so
much more."
"Don't do it then." The Old Woman
shrugged. "But he will die. In your world he has less than three hours left."
Skinner stared at her helplessly. "I'm in a
no-win situation here," he protested. "I'm damned if I do, and damned if I
don't."
"I never said that your choices would be
easy." The Old Woman sighed. "I don't promise he won't resent you for this
either. I just tell you how it is."
Skinner thought about it for a moment, and then
exhaled deeply, glancing down at the prone body of his colleague. It hurt him to see
Mulder in so much distress.
"All right." He knelt down beside the
other man, and placed his fingertips against his head. Mulder jerked away, a hoarse scream
rising in his throat, but Skinner held on tight. His mind opened up, traveling along the
link he had formed guiltily over the past few years, finding the bright, swirling
brilliance of Mulder's mind and following it, merging himself into it. He found the
threads he had planted there, little links that he could use in order to find Mulder at
any given moment, sending out his thoughts to connect to the links, to see what Mulder
saw, and, most of all, to check that the other man was all right. Mulder had been in so
much danger over the years that it had been impossible to resist. Now Skinner fastened his
own energy onto those links, made them bigger, weaving a pattern like a spider weaves a
web. Finally, when his work was completed, he surged into the new nexus he had created.
The whiteness faded into a dark cell. There was
one window, with bars over it, through which three fingers of light shone into the prison,
illuminating the huddled figure on the floor.
"Mulder."
*****
Mulder looked up and saw a terrifying apparition
staring down at him. A youth, wearing a ripped uniform rendered unidentifiable by
bloodstains and bullet holes. He had short, cropped dark hair, and deep, sad eyes. His
face was pale, and his cheekbones and jaw were sharp and angular. He was tall, thin and
lanky, with hard muscular forearms and a hint of solidity around the shoulders. His mouth
was set in a straight line, as if something so terrible had happened to him, he never
intended to smile again. Bright red blood oozed from a dozen or more wounds on his body,
although he didn't seem to be in any pain.
"Are you dead?" Mulder asked.
"No. Yes. No." The soldier shook his
head. "That's a tricky one."
"Am I dead?" Mulder whispered.
"No. Not yet." The youth stood up,
glancing around. "We must leave here though, or you soon will be," he said.
"You're Jace." Mulder uncurled his body
and got to his feet.
"Yes. Come on, Mulder, hurry."
"No. I'm not going back out there
again." Mulder shook his head. "The whisperers are out there. They want
me."
"If you stay here you'll die." The
youth held out his hand and gave a hint of a shy, gentle smile. "Come on, Mulder.
I'll be with you. I won't let them harm you."
"No." Mulder shook his head. "You
don't understand. I tried it before. I got lost. There was Richard, and Sam, and
Dad
I couldn't find a way out. I don't know you."
"Yes you do. Come on, Mulder. Trust
me." The soldier held out his hand again. He sounded a lot older, and his tone was
more imperative than seemed right given his youthful appearance. "You have to trust
me."
Mulder hesitated. He looked into the boy's solemn
brown eyes, and felt that he knew him.
He took one uncertain step forwards, then
another, and then reached out, and his fingers touched the youth's outstretched hand. The
other man's fingers closed around his own, and his blood-stained face broke into a wide,
full smile. Mulder had a sudden, curious sensation of coming home. The hand holding his
own felt warm, safe and comforting, and Mulder was filled with a renewed sense of hope and
optimism.
"Where do we go?" Mulder looked around.
The cell walls were solid, unchanging. "How do we get out?"
"The cell isn't here, Mulder." Jace
said. "Your mind created it. Look at it - it's like a picture you've seen in a book.
Maybe in The Count Of Monte Cristo, or something like that. It's a stereotypical
cell - with bars over the windows, bare brick walls, a heavy locked door. The door isn't
real, Mulder and neither is the cell. You can walk out anytime you choose to."
"No, I can't. The whisperers..." Mulder
shook his head.
"Mulder, listen to me, there is nothing here
but the inside of your mind. I'm not leaving you. Come with me and I'll take you to
safety. Trust me."
"It isn't real?" Mulder gazed around
the cell. When he looked closely, it did appear to be insubstantial.
"No, it isn't real. Except for the light
that you can see through the window. That's the way back to your body, Mulder, and I'm
going to take you there. I want you to focus on it, and on it alone. Nothing else
matters."
Mulder turned to look at the three fingers of light, as
they shone through the bars covering the window, then he ignored the bars, and
concentrated on the light. The light grew brighter and brighter, until it suddenly
exploded into the cell, and the walls of his prison disappeared.
"I can't see you," he yelled, panicking. He
couldn't feel his body, or see anything, but the whispers grew louder, filling his mind.
"I'm here." A reassuring voice said inside his
head. "The whispers are just your memories. They can't hurt you."
"Fox!"
He whirled around to see his father calling him.
"It's dad. I have to go back," Mulder insisted,
trying to pull away, but Jace's grip was like steel. The youth didn't seem to be holding
onto his hand any more, he seemed to be inside his head, and there was no escaping from
him. "Let me go! I have to go to my father. I have to tell him that I lost Sam again.
I have to
"
The light that surrounded them wavered, and dissipated,
coalescing into a room, and Mulder found himself sinking back into the memory, watching
himself, as he opened a door
*****
"Dana."
Scully thought about it rationally for a moment, and then
opened her eyes.
"I know you're not real," she said, staring at
the Old Woman who was standing under one of the trees, watching her. "I know that
you're just a figment of my imagination, or maybe someone from my past. You can't really
hurt me if I don't give you any power to," she said firmly.
"I don't want to hurt you." The Old Woman sat
down beneath the tree opposite Scully.
"Good, because this isn't actually real. None of this
is real." Scully nodded vigorously as if she were trying to convince herself. "I
don't know what's going on here, but, uh, I think I've probably suffered some sort of head
injury. This is clearly a hallucination. I expect there's some sort of medical explanation
and
" She swallowed, and gripped her hands even more tightly around her knees.
"I'm sure there is." The Old Woman smiled.
"I'm glad I've had this chance to meet you again, Dana."
"Again?" Scully frowned. "I don't know you.
We've never met before."
"Yes we have. You've been here before, my dear. When
you were trying to choose whether to live or to die."
"Choose? I don't remember making
"
"Nurse Owens." The Old Woman's features shifted
and changed, until she had the appearance of a homely, middle aged female, dressed in a
white medical uniform.
"No, this is a trick." Scully shook her head.
"You're going to try and take me away from here, to lure me away from this place,
where I'm safe."
"Well
" The woman looked around. "It's
a little bit dark and lonely, but no, I'm not going to try to make you leave, if this is
where you feel safe."
"I'm not listening to you." Scully put her hands
over her ears. "You're him. The one who pretended to be Mulder, the one who
accused me of killing Melissa, of killing all of them."
"That was you, dear." The other woman replied,
shaking her head sadly. "The guilt, and grief, and sense of loss that you suppress
every day of your life. You had to store it somewhere in order that you could go on being
so calm, and rational, and strong. The trouble with suppressed emotions is that they can
take on a life of their own."
"I don't know what you're talking about." Scully
replied. "I don't feel guilty about Melissa. It wasn't my fault
"
"Hush, sweetheart. You don't have to lie to me."
Nurse Owens said soothingly.
"They thought she was me." Scully's face crumpled
up. "It should have been me. I should have died
" she wept.
"No, my love. I know this is hard for you to believe,
but it all happened exactly as it was supposed to. You were born for a purpose, a very
particular purpose, and Melissa gave her life gladly in order that you could fulfil your
destiny."
"I miss her." Scully tried to wipe the tears away
with her sleeve, to hide the fact that she was weeping.
"You don't have to be strong here, with me,
Dana." Nurse Owens told her gently. "Later on you'll have to be brave again, but
here, now, you have a little respite from the storm. Cry all you like."
"I'm not crying." Scully sobbed.
"You can accept comfort too, sweetheart. It's a lonely
path you've walked so far and there are hard times yet to come - but many good times
too."
"It's just there are so many things I don't
understand." Scully squeezed her knees tightly with her arms, making herself as small
as possible. "I feel as if I've been sucked into his slipstream, as if he's a vortex
and I'm lost swirling in his clouds. I don't know who I am any more. I know that sometimes
I want him, but I also want more than he can give, and he knows that too, so he doesn't
offer anything. He loves me too much to hurt me, but I want something. I need something."
Scully wept. "That's not selfish is it? Every day I go to work, I help him on his
quests, and I lose everything I love, and every day my own beliefs are undermined and he
doesn't care about that. He doesn't care
" Her voice trailed off into a series
of gulps. "God, I'm whining." She gave a self-deprecating smile. "I found
something, someone. Someone else." She looked into the other woman's eyes for the
first time. "He was inside my mind, and he was strong, so I didn't have to be any
more. I didn't have to carry everything around on my shoulders - I could share it. He was
there, he was with me, and it was intimate in a way I'd never known before. Then I lost
him too
" Scully fought to control herself again, and failed, the tears running
down her cheeks.
"Sweetheart - you don't have to be strong with
me." Nurse Owens patted the ground beside her, giving Scully a warm, inviting smile.
Scully gazed at her, uncertainly, but the other woman's smile never faltered. Slowly,
uncertainly, Scully got to her feet, and started to walk towards her.
*****
"You didn't have me come all this way to give me good
news. What is it, Fox?" Skinner recognized the man's grim, unsmiling features. He had
only seen Bill Mulder once before, but he knew him immediately. He watched as Mulder
turned away, trying to hide the tears in his eyes.
"Samantha's gone, Dad
I lost her." Mulder's
shoulders were set in a tense line, and it was clear to Skinner that this conversation was
a painful reminder to both men of one that had taken place many years previously.
"What do you mean, you lost her?" Bill Mulder's
expression was hard and cold, his tone hectoring.
"There was a man. He was holding my partner hostage in
exchange for Samantha." Mulder explained.
"You let his man take your sister - isn't that what
you're trying to tell me?" Skinner wished that he could change something about this
scenario, he wished that he could somehow intervene and stop this gut-wrenching memory
from tearing Mulder apart. Instead, all he could do was watch, as Mulder turned around.
"I can explain it to you but, um, I believed that I
was doing the right thing, Dad."
"Was this your decision?"
There was silence for a moment, and Skinner saw a familiar
pattern - an apportioning of blame, and a sense of guilt settling around Mulder's
shoulders that was so tangible he could feel the weight of it.
"Yes." Mulder answered finally. "I'll tell
Mom." The tears welled up in Mulder's eyes.
"Do you realize what losing her again will do to your
mother?" Bill Mulder demanded. Mulder's face was grief stricken. He clearly realized
all too well the effect that this news would have on his mother. "Do you?" Bill
Mulder asked again, in that same cold, hectoring tone, as if his son's distress meant
nothing to him.
"I'm sorry, Dad. I'm sorry. I'm
sorry
sorry
" Mulder's voice trailed off. Skinner watched as Bill Mulder
made no move to comfort his son, and he felt a deep anger rise up inside him. How could
anybody who purported to love Mulder stand by and watch him in such obvious distress, and
do nothing? Mulder was hurting, Mulder was his, part of his nexus; how dare anybody,
anybody at all, even his own father, cause Mulder such pain, stand by and watch Mulder in
pain, and do nothing
"Enough!" He wasn't even aware that he'd spoken
until the words reverberated around the room. The effect startled Mulder out of the
memory, leaving the room, and Bill Mulder, frozen in time. Skinner's rage rose around them
both like a dark cloud, and he saw Mulder flinch in alarm as it filtered through the link
between them. Skinner fought hard to suppress it. "Come with me. Leave this
behind," he urged, holding out his hand again.
"I disappointed him so many times." Mulder said
softly, touching his father's unmoving, unsmiling face. "He must have despised
me."
"He's your father. He loved you." Skinner
insisted, unsure whether that was the truth. "He matters to you, Mulder, but he's
dead. You're still alive. Let me take you back to the light." Mulder stood there for
a moment, uncertainly.
"It hurts," he whispered.
"I know. It hurts me too. I feel what you feel."
Skinner waited, his hand outstretched, and finally Mulder took it again. Skinner slid his
arm around the other man's shoulder, and ushered him away from the scene, back towards the
light.
Almost immediately they were assaulted by images. A
thousand snapshots from Mulder's life, a swirling mass of memories, all overlapping in a
tumultuous confusion until all that could be heard were insidious whispers, claiming
Mulder, pawing at them both, trying to suck them back in. It took all Skinner's strength
to keep Mulder moving, to drag him past the images as they flashed before them, revealing
so many facets of Mulder's life that he had never glimpsed before. He saw a birthday
party, a nine year old boy dressed as Mr. Spock. He saw a little girl running in a park,
and a man sitting smoking at a table. The images grew stronger, weighing them down, and
Skinner started to run, propelling Mulder along with him.
"I can't
" Mulder panted.
"You have to." Skinner insisted. "Don't
stop. Dont look at them. If you look at them they'll drag you back, and keep you
from returning to your body. You're strong, Mulder, you can resist."
"I can't." Mulder twisted in his grasp. A
red-haired woman loomed in front of them, her face pale and drawn.
"Mulder. Help me, Mulder!" She cried.
"Scully
" Mulder reached out a hand, but
Skinner pulled him on, away from the memory, and it faded as it passed them.
"Scully
!" Mulder called, his arms stretching out behind them, as Skinner
forced him on. They turned the corner, and Skinner stopped dead. There, in front of them,
was himself.
"Agent Mulder, would you like to explain to this
committee why
"
"You're standing by this report, Agent Mulder?"
"I want you to tell me what the hell you thought you
were doing!"
<Shit. Ignore it.> Skinner closed his eyes, walking
forward purposefully. <Christ, anybody would think that all I ever did was give him a
hard time. You have such a selective memory, Mulder.>
He opened his eyes again, and an image of himself
restraining Mulder in a choke hold sprang up, closely followed by him immobilizing the
other man over a desk. He saw himself shouting, and some sort of weird bug creature
looming up over his own shoulder. <Did that really happen?>
He stopped for a moment, fascinated, his gaze drawn to the
monster's red eyes, then felt himself disappearing inside a body, but not his own. He
watched in horror as the memory became real, as he became Mulder re-living the event,
trying desperately to warn his unseeing, unbelieving boss that he was in danger. He saw
his own large hands fasten around his wrists, and felt aggrieved, out of control, wanting
to be believed, wanting this man to believe him, wanting that more than anything
else. As those big hands held him against the desk, and he felt the weight of a solid body
pinning him down, he was suddenly overcome by a sensation of desire.
Skinner jerked back out of the memory with a gasp of
surprise.
"Where did you go?" Mulder asked accusingly,
grabbing hold of his arm. "You were here and then you disappeared."
"I'm sorry. It's all right. I'm back now, I'm
sorry." He pulled the agent closer, scared by the ease with which he had been sucked
into the memory, and still reeling from the shock of being Mulder, and seeing himself from
Mulder's perspective, to say nothing of that curious wave of desire. "We have to be
strong, Mulder. We have to keep going. I won't fail you again. Come on." He hurried
the other man along the twisting recesses of his memories, experiencing a whole lifetime
in a series of swirling images, stray words and thoughts. A beautiful woman stood naked in
a doorway, beckoning.
"Fox
care to join me?" She purred.
"Diana." Mulder whispered, reaching out. Skinner
hurried him on.
"You've never done this before have you?" A man
with blond hair leaned over them, his hands moving in an intimate caress. "It's all
right. I'll be gentle
"
Skinner digested the implications of that image without
surprise, still forcing Mulder on. The whispering around them built up to a crescendo and
Mulder started to whimper.
"They're everywhere. I want to stop
"
"You can't. Close your eyes. I'll lead you."
Skinner told him, glancing at the other man. Mulder's face was pale, and he looked almost
ghostly in appearance, his dark eyes showing the struggle he was going through to hold
onto his sanity in the face of the constant bombardment. Mulder thought about it for a
moment, then nodded, doing as he was told. Skinner felt their minds merge, becoming
utterly and irrevocably one, as they fled down the recesses of Mulder's past. The white
light glowed in the distance, coming closer, and he breathed a sigh of relief.
"We're nearly there, Mulder. Nearly there
"
He said encouragingly, picking up the pace again, starting to run.
The image rose without warning, too big to avoid, spilling
out in front of them, blocking their escape route. It was a 12-year-old boy, mouth open in
shock, watching shadowy figures take his sister away. Beside him, Mulder's footsteps
faltered, and came to a stop. He sank down, and buried his face in his arms.
"I can't go any further," he said, the memory
settling around them both like a blanket. "I'm too tired."
Skinner stopped, and crouched down in front of the other
man, touching his face gently to make him look up.
"I'll carry you," he said. Mulder stared at him,
his eyes filled with despair, then Skinner felt the link between them suddenly pulse with
a sense of hope.
"Will you?" Mulder asked.
"Yes." Skinner reached out and swung him up,
wrenching them both through the scene that was playing out endlessly in front of them. A
little girl was screaming out her brother's name, Mulder was trying to tell his parents
that she was missing; imparting news that would hurt everybody he knew, enduring hours of
endless questioning, trying not to cry, failing. Mulder lay almost comatose in his arms,
the whispering so loud that neither of them could hear anything else, as Skinner battled
through the assaulting images, his footsteps as slow and labored as if he were walking
uphill into a head wind.
"Leave me." Mulder said suddenly. "You can
save yourself. Leave me. This is all I am, and all I can ever be. I can't get beyond it.
I'm lost here."
"No." Skinner replied.
"You don't understand
"
"No." Skinner said again. "It's not an
option." Mulder's hazel eyes stared at him wordlessly, and then he reached out a hand
to touch the bloodstains on the other man's neck.
"Who are you? Why are you doing this for me?"
Skinner's only response was to open up his entire soul to
the link, pouring every last ounce of reassurance he had into the fledgling nexus that he
had constructed between them. Mulder's eyes opened in wonder and shock, and then suddenly
his own mind opened up, his thoughts and emotions flooding into the nexus as if a dam had
been breached, momentarily overwhelming Skinner until he could adjust to the force of
Mulder's presence in the link. Without warning, the whispering stopped, as if somebody had
flicked a switch, and they were plunged into complete silence. The images faded, and there
was an explosion of white light all around them.
*****
Scully wasn't sure how long she had cried, she just knew
that it was a relief to be able to. The other woman's arms circled her, protecting her,
and she laid her head against that motherly breast and wept herself into oblivion.
"Damn, did I make a fool of myself?" She asked,
as the sobs finally subsided.
"No, dear." Nurse Owens laughed. "You just
gave yourself permission to do something you never do back in your world. Did it
help?"
"I don't know." Scully lay back, and stared at
the light from the moon as it filtered through the trees. "I think so. Maybe. I hate
being weak."
"Oh you're not that." The other woman chuckled,
hugging her close. "You're very dear to me, Dana, and to Jace. He wants to help you.
Will you let him?"
"I don't know." Scully said again. "I don't
know anything here. None of my usual rules apply."
The other woman laughed. "Dana, you have an important
destiny to fulfill. I think we picked well, when we chose you. I don't think you'll let us
down." She leaned forward, and kissed Scully on the forehead.
"What do you mean?" Scully asked, grabbing the
woman's hand. For a second she had a sensation of being connected to something so big that
she couldn't comprehend its vastness. She saw a swirling mass of colors, repeating an
endless, age-old pattern, over and over again, and gasped.
"It's beautiful
" she whispered, transfixed
by the jewelled display.
"Yes." Her companion took hold of her other hand
and held it tightly. "You are at its heart, Dana. Let me show you."
Scully felt her heart beating inside her chest, until it
filled her ears with its sound, and the world turned in time to the rhythm. For one brief
second, Scully felt connected to every blade of grass in the world, every tree, every
insect, every human being. She breathed with the wind, flew with the birds, swam with the
fish. The world, and the souls of everything that had ever lived, were woven into a
tapestry, like a giant, gossamer spider's web, spun out of rubies and sapphires.
"I never knew," she whispered, leaning her
forehead against the other woman's, overwhelmed by the image.
"The pattern spins and weaves, and has done for
countless eons, but one day soon, all that we are, and all that we could be, will be
threatened by a darkness as strong as our light. You are our hope, Dana. You, and Jace,
and the child, Fox. Don't fail us. Please." Scully felt as if she were falling into a
dark river as she stared into those solemn gray eyes.
"I won't. I swear," she promised, and the next
thing she knew, she was alone once more.
*****
"What happened?" Mulder looked around, dazed by
the silence.
"I'm not sure." Skinner shrugged.
"You got me out. I
thank you." Hazel eyes
regarded him with solemn gratitude.
"We haven't finished yet. I can't take you back until
I find Scully," Skinner said. He realized that he was still carrying Mulder and put
him down, feeling vaguely embarrassed. Mulder gave him a look of puzzlement, and Skinner
could feel the nexus glowing at the interchange of emotions between them, unsettling them
both. "I'm sorry." Skinner murmured.
"For what?" Mulder asked, looking, and feeling,
confused, the emotion flowing palpably through the link.
"You're going to hate this. Hell, I'm not sure I'm
going to like it." Skinner mumbled. This was so different from before. Then he had
been young, innocent, open. Now he was older, and he had hidden himself for so long, his
heart and soul closed to everybody around him, that the newly created nexus between him
and Mulder seemed awkward, and frankly embarrassing.
At that moment, the light parted, and the Old Woman
returned.
"Fox." She took him in her arms and kissed his
forehead. Skinner could feel the agent's sense of unease, combined with a giddy surge of
joy at being enveloped in her embrace.
"Dana?" Skinner looked at the Old Woman over
Mulder's head. "Have you found her?" The Old Woman smiled, and nodded.
"There's just one small problem," she murmured.
Skinner's heart sank. "She's all right?" He asked
anxiously.
"She's fine. She's just very determined to
well,
you'll see." The Old Woman sighed.
*****
Scully sat on the forest floor, making a daisy chain. She
heard footsteps, and looked up as a shadow fell across the folds of her skirt.
"You're Jace?" She stared into the eyes of a
young soldier who looked
half dead. His face was a deathly white, which contrasted
with the wet, violently red bloodstains on his clothing and face. She gazed at him for a
long while, and then decided not to scream.
"Yes." The man crouched down beside her.
"I'm glad you're okay," he murmured.
"Nurse Owens told me you'd come to find me." The
bloodstained boy looked confused, Scully thought to herself. "You know who Nurse
Owens is don't you?" she asked.
"Yes. Of course." The youth replied, although he
was frowning and didn't appear all that certain. Scully completed the daisy chain
and fastened it around his neck, smiling at him. He flushed a bright red, looking
extremely confused now, to say nothing of embarrassed.
"I want you to come with me." The soldier held
out his hand. Scully looked at it for a moment and then shook her head. "Why not? I
can take you back home." The boy gave what he probably thought was an encouraging
smile. Scully shook her head again.
"I'm safe here," she said.
"No, Dana, you're not." He tried to scoop her up,
and she gave a blood-curdling roar of rage that stopped him in his tracks.
"I'm staying here!" She fumed, pounding at him
with her fists until he let her go. "I've worked it out quite logically. If I stay
here, I'll be safe. If I try to leave, I'll just get even more lost. There are no such
things as ghosts, or monsters, or demons, so it's quite impossible that there's anything
lurking behind the trees waiting to eat me."
"You don't believe in monsters?" The stranger
asked, with a wry smile.
"No. I've decided they can't exist, so they
don't." Her mouth was set into a straight line, and her jaw was clenched in
determination.
"Dana, you're not safe here. I know you think you are,
but you're not." The boy's voice was insistent, but she didn't trust him.
"You're lying! I'm not going out there with you.
You're not real; you're some perverse part of my mind that wants me to die."
The boy exhaled loudly, turned to somebody that Scully
couldn't see, and said:
"She won't come with me. What the hell do I do
now?"
*****
It was, Skinner decided, worse than a nightmare. First he
had to leave the safety of his own body and journey to this place, which had scared the
hell out of him. Worse, once he got here, he had an overwhelming desire to stay, which
also scared the hell out of him. Then he'd been forced to run the gamut of Mulder's
memories, which had given him a new perspective on the man as well as most definitely
scaring the hell out of him. Now, he was faced with the task of convincing an extremely
skeptical Dana Scully that monsters, mutants, ghosts, ghoulies and things that went bump
in the night did exist, and she was better off leaving with him than staying here
to be eaten by one, hypothetically speaking at least.
<Since when did I become an apologist for the
paranormal anyway?> he wondered resentfully. Then he laughed at himself, some rational
part of his brain pointing out that he was right slap bang in the middle of the most
paranormal experience anyone could ever have so what the hell, he should just go with it.
"She's still Dana," the old woman informed him.
He saw her sitting rocking in a chair, Mulder crouched by her feet. "She still has
Dana's thoughts and memories. It's just that she's a little confused. She's been taken
from her body, and finds herself lost in this place where there's no clarity or certainty,
and her memories are all chopped up. She doesn't know what's real and what isn't. You can
imagine how frightening that must be for someone like Dana. Bad enough for Fox here,"
she kissed the top of Mulder's head, "but worse for Dana."
"Scully's here?" Mulder looked at Skinner with
worried hazel eyes. "She's lost too? Like I was? Can I help find her?"
"Hush, sweetheart." The Old Woman murmured.
"You're safe here for now, but this is Jace's task. You won't be any help to him;
you're growing weaker the longer you stay here. Just rest."
"I could
" Mulder began, but the Old Woman
placed one finger over his lips to quieten him. Skinner felt the force of her will
flickering through the link. No wonder Mulder had shut up. He wished it was a trick he
possessed. It could save him a lot of time and energy in meetings.
"Tell me
" he said to Old Woman, "why
is she so attached to this piece of forest? I can understand Mulder creating a cell, but
why a forest?"
"You have a link with her - you find out." The
Old Woman smiled.
Skinner sighed. "How did I know you were going to say
that?"
*****
<Dana
>
The blood stained kid was talking
only he wasn't
moving his lips. Scully stared at him for a moment, perplexed, as his words continued to
echo inside her mind.
<Dana, I want to understand. Will you allow me?> She
felt a sigh, or a whisper, pass through her mind, gently sifting through her memories. It
wasn't unpleasant. In fact, Scully enjoyed the sensation. It was like showing somebody
your vacation snapshots, or sharing a thought or emotion with them, only without the
clumsiness of expressing it in words. If it had been somebody else, she wasn't sure that
she would have enjoyed it, but with Jace, it felt right.
<I like you.> She told him impulsively. He laughed.
<I like you too. A lot.> More than a lot
That last thought was private, but she caught it as if it had been blown to her on a
breeze, trapping it in her mind as it passed, like plucking dandelion fluff from the air.
It made her feel warm inside. She felt his mind settle inside her own, and it was
familiar, and comforting.
<Will you stay here with me? > She asked.
<No. We have to leave, both of us. > He replied,
still searching through her mind.
<But will you stay here,> she repeated.
<Inside my head?>
<I don't know.>
She sensed a maelstrom of emotions, and glimpsed the edges
of a huge internal struggle. She was about to say something else when he found what he was
looking for. She felt herself falling back to a place and a time that she could barely
remember. She opened her mouth in panicked surprise, but Jace was with her, holding her as
they both fell, calming her, and she felt comforted by his presence.
She was six years old. She had been in these woods at the
back of the house many times before, and felt safe here. True, her mother had always told
her not to come here alone, but she had wanted to be alone. Sometimes, she just needed to
get away from Bill and Charlie and Melissa, to come to a place where she could escape, and
have silence and solitude. She wasn't sure how she had got lost. She had been so certain
that she knew the way. At first she had wandered in circles, then she had become frantic,
as she couldn't find her way home. Finally, exhausted, she had sank down beneath a tree
and watched as the afternoon became evening, and darkness fell.
A rustling in the trees behind her made her turn, a scream
rising to her lips. She was sure that she could see something moving in the undergrowth,
something big, something that would hurt her. Another noise startled her, and she turned
again, her imagination providing a set of bright red eyes, gleaming from a nearby tree
trunk. If she looked very closely she could see a nose under the eyes, and a dark, gaping
hole where the mouth was, waiting to gobble her up. Scully began to shiver violently,
trying to remember the prayer she had learned in Sunday School last week. Something
slithered next to her hand, and she jumped, gasping out loud, seeing a snake, its large
fangs poised to plunge into her flesh. A silhouette flickered beside a bush, and she saw a
ghost, screaming out its agony, reaching for her. On one level she re-lived the memory,
but on another she was aware that she was merely watching it, safely wrapped up inside
Jace's mental embrace.
<You were six,> he whispered. <You were lost, and
scared, and wanted your mother. What happened?>
She sensed his anxiety, and could feel his own imagination
supplying all sorts of scenarios, the worst being a shadowy figure creeping up behind her,
placing a ha |