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I lie
awake all night, just listening to each breath that he takes, nudging him
if it seems too long since his last breath, just to make sure that he's
still alive. It's the longest night of my life. Each slow hour ticking
past like an eternity. Finally he stirs.
"Fox,"
he mutters, his eyelids fluttering open. He seems to know who he is, and
who I am, and I'm grateful for that much. "Did he...?" It's his first
thought.
"No."
I try to sit him up. "I'm fine. So are you. Can you get onto the bed?
You're too heavy to lift."
"I'll
do my best. If you help me." Between us we manage to get him onto the bed,
and I bring him a bowl of water and a washcloth. I take his pants off,
then wash him down gently, removing sweat and blood, and I clean up wounds
and bruises as best I can. When I've finished, I cover him with the
blanket again.
"You're sure you're okay? He didn't...?" he rasps. His little finger moves
in my direction, finds my hand, and rests on it. It's the closest he can
come to a caress.
"No.
He didn't," I say firmly. "He let me go. Now drink." He takes a sip, and
then falls asleep again.
Our
door is unlocked at 10 a.m., and Saunders appears.
"How
is our invalid?" He glances over at Skinner.
"He's
ill. He was ill before the fight. He fought in Vietnam - it left him with
an injury. If he'd been well he'd have mashed your face into the sand last
night," I tell him coldly.
"Really? How unfortunate for poor Mr. Skinner," Saunders remarks with all
of his usual insincere charm.
"He
needs a doctor," I fume at him.
"Does
he?" Saunders smiles, and comes over to the bed. He pulls the sheets back,
but Skinner doesn't stir. "He does look quite ill." Saunders places a hand
on Skinner's forehead. "He has a fever. It could be quite serious." He
glances at me. "You're right, Fox. He does need a doctor."
"You'll call one then?" I ask hopefully.
He
purses his lips, and shakes his head. "No. I don't think I will." He
smiles. "I do hope he's fit by tomorrow evening though. That's when the
really serious event will take place."
"What
the fuck are you talking about?" I demand angrily.
"His
initiation fight. Didn't I mention it?" He leans languidly against the
armchair. "We like Mr. Skinner. He's shown himself worthy of joining
Mithras. Unfortunately, we're full. There's only one way in."
"And
what's that?" I ask, not following any of this, and just thinking about
how much Skinner needs a doctor.
"Dead
man's shoes." Saunders shrugs, but his words chill me to the bone as I
remember the dead men we fished out of the Potomac. "So let's hope he's
well enough for that little fight, Fox. Or..." he trails off, and smiles
at me.
"Or
what?"
"Or
else." Saunders's mouth has settled into a grim line.
"You
cannot be serious!" I snarl, advancing on him. "He's ill for fuck's sake.
He'll never be well enough for some, what, fight to the death? Is that
what you're suggesting?"
"Not
quite." Saunders squares up to me, pulling me up short. "But near enough.
It's more...interesting than that. He will have to fight though."
"He
can't!" I yell, unable to contain myself any more. "Not unless you bring
in a fucking doctor!"
"Ah
well…" Saunders smiles at me again, reaching out a finger to flick a lock
of my hair from my forehead. "You know, if you want something from me, you
might have to offer something in return, Fox."
"Offer...? What the fuck are you talking about? What do you want from me?"
I shout.
"You
know what I want. Make sure you ask nicely." He grins again, and leaves
the room, shutting the door quietly behind him as he goes.
The
bastard. The fucking bastard. I weigh this up in my head as I sit on the
end of the bed, watching Skinner take gasping breaths, his face disfigured
by bruises and cuts, his body even worse. So, Saunders wants what he has
sought from the beginning, what I have never given anyone but Skinner. He
wants more than I've even given Skinner. He wants more than just my
submission - he wants to break me, and he wants me to ask him for that. No
- he wants me to beg him. And if I don't, Skinner doesn't get a doctor,
and very probably that means that somewhere along the line he ends up in
the Potomac minus parts of his anatomy that both he and I are very
attached to. I wonder how close the ‘team’ are to finding us, but Skinner
is right. You can't expect the cavalry to show up just in time to save
you. You have to save yourself.
"What
should I do?" I ask him.
He's
asleep, and I'm not expecting a response, so I'm not disappointed. I crawl
over and lie against him. His skin is clammy, and his body is still
generating a great heat. "What do you want me to do?" I ask him. He has
dark shadows under his eyes, and he looks like a vulnerable child. I never
thought I'd say that about him, but it's true - and there is nobody but me
to take care of him. He's always so vital, so full of energy and purpose.
He's never needed anyone to take care of him. I remember Sharon, and the
way she seemed to long to look after him. Not a chance. And now he's mine,
or I'm his, or maybe it's the same thing, and what was it I said about
responsibility running both ways?
"Sweet
dreams." I get up, stretching cautiously as my heavily welted back
protests. "'Tis a far, far better thing.', 'the needs of the one.' blah,
blah and all that crap." I bend over and kiss him. "Oh, what the hell,
I'll do it. After all, I'm just going to get exactly what everyone thinks
I've deserved for a long time, even you, I'll bet. You can see why he
wants to break me. I bet that every so often you dream yourself about
taking me down to the level of Fox Mulder, obedient slave-slut. Yeah, I'd
be the man of your wet dreams, all right. Trust me, if I let him do this,
it'll be even better. Just think - no more temper-tantrums, no more
mouthing off. By the time you get me back I'll be a model agent. You'll be
able to order me to do anything. No more chasing after UFO's. No more
government conspiracies or endless arguments over expense reports. It'll
be "yes sir" and "no sir" from now on. He can do all the hard work, and
you can reap the rewards. Yeah, it's perfect. I'll be exactly what you've
always wanted. Manageable, controllable, obedient. I'll sit beside your
desk, and you can pat my head occasionally, and toss me a few sunflower
seeds. Do you think I might be delaying the inevitable with all this
babbling?"
No
answer is forthcoming. His chest rises and falls, and rises and falls, and
he doesn't even wake up when my stupid tears drop on his face, sad bastard
that I am. "Okay, okay, I'm going. Don't ever say that I never do anything
for you. Selling yourself into slavery must be pretty high on anyone's
list of devoted acts. Maybe someone will write a poem about my selfless
sacrifice one day. Maybe...oh shut the fuck up, Mulder."
I'm
not defeated yet. Not quite yet. I think I can still give the loathsome
Saunders a shock, even if I have to give in to the inevitable eventually.
I dress for success, just like a top, including a pair of shoes, which,
after a few days barefoot, seem like a luxury even if they are a size too
big for me. Then I comb my hair neatly, and brush my teeth. Finally I
arrive at Saunders's door and knock. He opens it himself, which throws me,
and a quick glance around is sufficient for me to realize that Nick is not
present.
"Come
in, Fox." Saunders studies my clothing with a frown, trying to get a
handle on the game I'm about to play. He seats himself in the armchair,
and studies me. "You had something you wished to ask?" He smiles.
"Yes."
I sit down on the end of the bed without being invited to do so, watching
the frown crease his forehead again, and the flash of anger in his eyes.
His fingers jerk involuntarily, and I know that he's longing to reprimand
me.
"Well?" He folds his hands patiently and waits.
"I'm a
psychology student," I begin. "And this place is an interesting area for
study. However, that's all it is to me - something to study. Human
behavior here is at its most basic. There is an interesting dichotomy at
work. This is a ritualistic society supposedly avowing a policy of ‘no
rules’, when in fact there is a very complex system of rules, all of them
designed to maintain a hierarchical structure with extremely paternalistic
foundations. I find that fascinating."
"Well,
I always knew you were clever as well as pretty," Saunders smirks
patronizingly. "And it pleases me. It makes you a charming addition to my
collection. When the fucking is done, it's enjoyable to be entertained by
conversation. I like a healthy discussion, Fox. You won't find me a harsh
master in that respect."
"I'm
sure that intellectual, post-coital conversations would have their
pleasures for you, but I was trying to prepare you for something else
entirely. Please hear me out. "I glance at him and he inclines his head
gracefully.
"By
all means, I'm intrigued as to where this is going."
"Well,
I am not what you think I am."
"Really?" He raises an eyebrow.
"I
came here out of curiosity. Curiosity takes me many places. Perhaps it
also takes me to places where I shouldn't go, and where I do not belong."
"A-ha." Saunders nods, and smiles. "And you think that you do not belong
here?"
"That's right." I smile back, as pleasantly as I can. "I came here from
motives other than those I led you to believe. Skinner is not the sort of
man you believe him to be either. I am not his "slave" in any sense of the
word, any more than I am yours. I attend school on a full scholarship,
carry a full course load in many challenging subjects, have an interesting
life and enjoy many varied activities. I do not harbor fantasies of
possession and ownership. The idea of men fighting over me is even less
appealing. I do not view myself as a sexual plaything, a toy to be used by
older or stronger men. If it would help you to be convinced, I'd happily
fight you myself. I'm not a complete slouch when it comes to fighting."
I'm not, either, although admittedly I'm not exactly known for being a
street fighter.
"I'm
sure," he nods, his smile growing wider.
"Skinner followed me here because he believed me to be in danger from my
own intellectual curiosity. He is well aware of the trouble it has got me
into before. There is no sense in which Mithras fulfils any of my sexual
needs or desires. I misled you on that matter in order to gain access to
this place. I apologize for that. However, you are, in effect, asking me
to enter into some form of consensual bondage to you. I sense, from what
you have said, that my consent on this issue is of some importance to you.
Maybe you regard it as the first step towards, as you put it, ‘breaking’
me or maybe you have more noble motives in this respect. I don't know."
"No.
Indeed," he murmurs, his eyes boring into me as I speak. "And?"
"I
cannot give you the subservience you require because it is not in my
nature. I accept that I have led you to believe otherwise, but I ask you
to now accept that I speak the truth, and to arrange for a doctor for
Skinner. Alternatively, blindfold us and return us to Washington DC. We do
not know the location of this place, and would, therefore, pose no threat
to you, or to Mithras."
"Splendid, Mr. Mulder." He gets up and invades my space, standing too
close to me.
"You'll do as I ask?" I can't believe it will be that easy, and I have
noticed his term of address.
"No.
Of course not," he smiles. "Dear Mr. Mulder. You see, I'm happy to accord
you the respect of a title. When you speak so eloquently I find that I am
sincerely moved by you." He looks as unmoved as ever. I don't believe the
man has any more emotions than your average cat toying with a mouse. "And
it is an interesting game that you've chosen to play. If you are not, and
you say you are not, a submissive, then are we to believe that you are a
top?"
"No.
I'm not that either. I'm not into any of this stuff." I wave my hand
around in a wild gesture, trying to regain some control of the situation.
"And
do you seriously think you could beat me in a fight?"
"No,"
I reply honestly. "I'm not sure that I could, but if it would prove
anything, I'd happily challenge you."
"And
if I defeated you, would you then offer me your submission?" he asks,
stalking me with his eyes.
"No."
I shrug. He laughs out loud, a delighted laugh of wry amusement.
"Oh,
Fox. I've had enough of this," he says when he's finished chuckling to
himself. "The truly amazing thing is that I think you believe it all. Poor
deluded boy." He shakes his head ruefully. "Why so scared, Fox? Why are
you so scared of finding out what's underneath all your clever words, and
what's behind everything you do and say?"
"I'm
not scared..." I begin, but in a lightning flash of movement he forces me
against the wall, putting his wrists on either side of my head, leaning
into me.
"Yes,
you are. Now stand still, and listen to me, and when I've finished, we'll
start again. And the only words I'll be expecting from you are these:
"Please break me, master." Understood?"
I open
my mouth to protest, and he shuts it with a flick of his finger. "And
you'll say those words on your knees at my feet. And when you say them
you'll have removed all these trappings of Mr. Mulder." He waves a hand at
my clothing. "And you'll be naked. And then, and only then, I might deign
to fuck you. Now listen to me."
I
close my eyes, feeling his warm breath on my cheek as he talks, the rub of
his silky shirtsleeve against my ear.
"You
may not want to accept who and what you are, but you'll be happier when
you do. Let me tell you about my method for breaking slaves. It's worked
many times before. Admittedly on less spirited submissives than you, but
it's never failed me yet, and I don't anticipate that it will. You've seen
Nick. He wasn't always so well-behaved. When I first knew him, he was
vain, and sulky. He believed he could manipulate me. I taught him the hard
way that he could not, and now he is not only a model slave, he is also
much happier. The same methods will work with you, despite all your
denials and protestations to the contrary." He pauses for a moment, and I
am aware of the coolness of the wall against my shoulders in sharp
contrast to the threatening warmth of his body as he leans over me. Then
he begins speaking again.
"First
of all, you'll be denied clothing. You can earn the privilege of clothes
if your behavior is acceptable, but it's unlikely that I'll grant it
quickly. I expect that I'll keep you naked for several weeks - partly to
humiliate you, partly to reinforce your status - you have none - and
partly simply because I enjoy looking at you. You'll only be fed on my
orders. Sometimes I'll make you beg for food, or water, or both. Sometimes
you'll go for days without food, if it pleases me, or if you've angered
me. Soon you'll come to realize that pleasing me is a necessity - not an
optional extra. When you're fed, you'll take the food from my fingertips,
like an animal. You will lick them clean afterwards, and thank me for
feeding you. You will be allowed to sleep only when I give you permission.
I'll whip you regularly - daily to start with, and not as a punishment,
but simply to make you understand that you are in my power. I might
perform the beating myself, or I might have Nick whip you. Nick is a
sweet-natured boy, but you shouldn't allow that fact to make you believe
that he'll go lightly on you. He won't. I have him well trained, and he
will hurt you as much as I would. In addition, I will also punish you in
this, and a variety of other ways, for any slowness in serving me, or
disobedience."
My
eyes are tightly closed, and he isn't touching me but he still has me
pinned against the wall, his hands flat against it, his body in front of
mine, leaning at an angle. I can feel his heat, and sense the rhythm of
his breathing. I could be in hell, listening to the devil, his words
searing into my soul.
"Sometimes it will please me to whip you all day. Not continuously, but on
and off, during the course of 24 hours. There may be no reason for this
whipping, other than that I desire to see you weep, and cry, and beg. You
do beg very prettily, dear Fox. As regards sex..." I tense and his voice
changes, caressing me like silk. "You'll be available for my use at all
times. Occasionally, my attentions will be perfunctory - no more than a
physical release on my part. On such occasions, it is a matter of supreme
indifference to me whether you obtain any pleasure from the act or not.
You will simply allow me to use you, in any way I wish. Whether you find
this painful, or distasteful, is irrelevant, and none of my concern. You
won't ever complain. If you do, you'll wish you hadn't. At no time could
any of this be considered rape. Your consent, as you so rightly pointed
out, is important to me, but once I have it, I will view it as a consent
to anything that I might wish to do to you. In time, you'll yearn for my
touch, but in the beginning I anticipate that you will find it exceedingly
painful, as well as personally repugnant. I would imagine that your
behavior will improve within days, but I think that it will take several
months to break you fully. You will not find me mindlessly cruel, though.
I can be a very good master to serve. I will pay for your studies, and
allow you to keep your apartment after you have been broken. I will visit
you whenever I wish, and summon you when I require your services. At
times, I will also give you to various of my friends - women as well as
other men. You will serve them as well as you serve me. If you do not, I
will hear about it, and you will be punished accordingly. When I tire of
you, and it is very likely that I will tire of you at some point, I will
arrange for you to be sold. You will have no say in who your new master
is. From the point of your entering into your bondage with me, you become
nothing more than a possession."
I'm
lost, and alone in the dark with his voice, and what he's offering. And I
hate him. I hate him for tapping into my soul, and finding depths to it
that I never knew existed. I'm not tempted. I don't hate him for that, but
for finding, taking and twisting my desire to belong to someone, to be
loved and owned, and making it into something so evil. He's right that I'm
scared. Who wouldn't be?
"Have
you finished?" I ask him, as insolently as I dare, opening my eyes.
"No.
And those were not the words I wanted to hear from you. I don't mind that
you disobey me at this stage, but you should be warned that you will pay
for it later, after you have spoken the words that I expect to hear you
say very soon."
"As a
trade-off? In order to get medical aid for Skinner? What sort of consent
is that?" I ask him.
He
sighs. "Have you ever studied acting, Fox?" he asks, moving quickly,
sliding his hands away from me, and pulling himself up, returning to the
armchair. I'm flustered by his quicksilver body language as usual.
"Not
really." I shrug.
"Saying the words can set the scene, Fox." He looks at me keenly. "If you
say them and I make you say them often enough, and with enough meaning,
sooner or later, you'll come to believe them. It's that simple. You don't
believe me?" He notices the incredulous look on my face. "You think you
could never truly submit to me? That I could never break you?"
"No. I
do believe you - but it's more complex than that. I'm a student of
psychology. What you just explained to me is a textbook method of
influencing behavior, which, I believe, you could use to turn almost any
reasonably intelligent human being who is at a vulnerable place in his
life, into a slave. It's a more sophisticated version of brainwashing
called mind control. There's nothing unique about this system, Saunders -
it's pretty commonplace. A form of mind control is used in everyday life
in many legitimate settings, especially in the military and in psychiatry.
It's also the preferred method of behavioral control used by destructive
religious cults."
Saunders looks as if he's in serious danger of exploding but I'm in full
rant mode, and anyway, this guy could benefit from my psychological
observations. If evidence that I have a mind of my own will help me to
convince him that I'm not just a sex object, then that won't do my case
any harm either. And then, of course, there's always the outside chance
that I can bore him to death.
"By
controlling a victim's environment, what information he receives, where he
lives, what clothing he wears, what food he eats, how much sleep he gets,
and by indoctrinating him with phobias of impending physical harm if he
should disobey any cult orders, it's a simple matter for a cult leader to
break down his victim's real personality and replace it with one with the
cult's stamp of approval."
He's
tapping his fingers on the upholstery of the armchair, allowing me my say,
but I can see a Scullyish hostility to my display of verbal gymnastics in
his sharp blue eyes.
"By
all means, do please continue." He smiles at me and I nod, pacing around
the room, gesturing frantically.
"Your
pride is misplaced, Saunders. It is not by dint of your macho charisma or
an exceptionally powerful method of behavioral training of your own
personal invention that you are able to enslave others," I pause and he
raises an inquiring eyebrow. "No. Rather, your ability to do this is
derived solely from following tried and tested methods of other cult
leaders before you, just as a housewife would follow the recipe of a great
French chef to make a souffle."
"Really? Fascinating," he murmurs. "Tell me, Fox - did you subject your
former master to these egotistical little tirades?"
"Uh...yes." I can vividly recall throwing this sort of psychobabble at
Skinner on more than one occasion. Oh shit, this reminds of me that time
when we were dealing with that other crazy cult - The Temple of the Seven
Stars. I remember spouting whole reams of shit about the Book of
Revelations and Dissociative Identity Disorder. The guy must have wondered
what hit him. His eyes did glaze over, now that I think about it.
"Poor
man," Saunders murmurs. "My respect for him is increasing by the second. I
do hope he invested in some sturdy gags to curb your worst excesses."
"Where
was I?" I ask Saunders, ignoring his comment, determined not to be
side-tracked.
"I was
rather hoping that you'd finished," he murmurs.
"No. I
was just getting to the point," I tell him firmly.
"Soufflés then. I believe soufflés were important." He gestures with a
languid hand.
"Right. Yeah - however admirable the culinary results might be from a
housewife following a recipe for soufflé," I incline my head towards him
and he sighs theatrically, "it wouldn't indicate that she possessed an
ability to do more than follow directions. The same would apply to
following the steps to induct and enslave a potential cult member. The
method that you described would work with me, undoubtedly, as it worked
with Nick. That means nothing. It's just a recipe. You know that, and I
know it."
His
face has grown dark and angry, and he's clearly decided that he's had
enough of Professor Mulder's lecture.
"I
just follow a recipe like a housewife, do I?" he snarls and it is the
first time that I have seen him close to losing his self-control. It's not
a pretty sight.
"Yes.
But if it is the only way to get a doctor for Skinner then I'll willingly
undergo your mind control indoctrination and enslavement program. Just so
long as you remember that your victory is hollow since my consent is not
freely given."
"Fuck
you." He clenches both his fists, and advances on me. I stand my ground,
waiting for the blow, but it never comes. Breathing heavily, he raises his
fist, but stops just short of lashing out at me. I can see him visibly win
the struggle to curb his temper, and he smoothes his hair back into place,
and smiles once more. "I'm waiting, Fox," he says. "I'll make the call,
just as soon as I have what I want from you." He gestures with his head in
the direction of the phone. "And then we can get on with preparing that
soufflé," he adds, with a vicious smile.
Touché! So that's it. Words, my final weapon, have proved useless. I don't
really need to think about it. I came here prepared to do this, and even
after his speech from hell, I know that I'll still pay whatever price is
necessary to get a doctor for Skinner. I find myself nodding, and he sits
down in the armchair, watching me.
I
unbutton my shirt, slowly, my eyes never leaving his. I transmit a message
of pure hatred to him via my body language as I slide the shirt from my
shoulders, remove my socks and shoes, then undo my pants and step out of
them. Finally, naked, I kneel down and crawl over to him. My mouth is dry
as I come to the end of the road.
"Break
me, Master. Please," I ask.
"And?"
he demands, his eyes devouring my body, his muscles tensed as if ready for
violence or flight, savoring his victory.
"Fuck
me, Master."
"And?"
"Whip
me, Master. Fuck me. Do what you want to me. Please. I'm begging you."
"Very
well. I accept your kind offer. Undress me."
I do
as he says, firmly, without shaking. If Skinner's life depends on this,
then I'll give him the performance that he wants. He might know that I'm
faking every last sigh of pleasure, but he's wrong about the acting.
Simulating it will not make it real. Not ever. When he's naked, he takes
me in his arms, and kisses me, and I respond with mock-passion, then he
pushes me onto the bed, his mouth roving over my nipples, his hand playing
with my cock. I reach out and wrap my arms around him, running my hands
down his back. I'm moaning, and he's grinning at me, sucking on my lips
and neck. "Slut. I knew it. Slut," he murmurs.
"Fuck
me. Fuck me please," I beg, rolling him over underneath me - and then I
strike. I'm a couple of inches taller than he is and about 15 years
younger. I pin him down, put my hands around his throat and squeeze, hard.
"I'm
nobody's fucking slave," I hiss, listening to the sounds of him choking
with more pleasure than I would have thought possible. "And now you are
going to listen to me. In a minute, when I'm through with you, I'm going
to let you up. Then you're going to call those guards of yours, and order
a limo. You'll get Skinner placed inside it, and you'll give me the keys
to the car. Then you'll let us leave here, you frigging nightmare."
His
eyes are bulging in his head, and he's nodding frantically. I loosen my
fingers, settling my weight firmly on his torso, keeping him held down as
he recovers his breath. He's panting, and still choking - maybe I did more
harm than I thought. A sudden memory of Duane Barry assaults me and I
shift my weight off him for just one brief second. It's in that moment of
vulnerability that he strikes; somehow he manages to free one arm and
punches me hard on the jaw. I fall back and he twists out from under me,
and knocks me flat on the bed. He opens the bedside dresser drawer, pulls
out a set of handcuffs, and fastens me to the bed before I can recover. I
lie there, my eyes dull, knowing that I face a painful retribution. He
sits down next to me.
"I was
wrong about Skinner, Fox. He hasn't handled you wrongly at all," he
whispers, his voice still choked, and an ugly bruise forming around his
neck.
"Oh?"
I raise a polite eyebrow. He doesn't have anything to say that I want to
hear. I'm just waiting for the punishment to begin.
"No.
He's won. I suppose I knew that he would from the beginning, but you can't
begrudge me my try, can you?" He smiles, regretfully, and leans in to kiss
my lips softly. "I could take you by force, but it wouldn't be the same."
He shakes his head. "Matt enjoys that, but I don't. That's why I liked Mr.
Skinner as soon as I saw him. He understands the subtleties, the finesse.
And he's been so wise in his treatment of you. I'm not a fool, Fox. I know
that Nick would go to anyone strong enough to keep him. And his love, as
you say, is engineered by me, to my design and specifications. But Skinner
keeps you on a very long leash indeed. So long that half the time you
probably don't even realize he has it around your neck. Then, maybe he
just jerks it gently, quietly, and you come running back to his side. He's
ruined you for anyone else. He keeps you panting, perpetually on the edge,
in a state of slavery that is so benign that you don't even realize it
exists. Half the time you probably even believe in the myth of your own
autonomy. You are a submissive, Fox, despite your protestations to the
contrary, but you have found yourself a very unusual and particularly
powerful master. One wise enough to give you the slack you need, and
strong enough to carry you to safety when it all goes wrong. You've been
lucky. And of course, by treating you in this way, he's bonded you to him
more strongly than I could ever hope to." His hand is stroking my body,
possessively, covetously, and I submit to the embrace, powerless to refuse
him anything. "You are that rare thing, Fox - a slave who cannot be bought
or sold. Very rare. Very beautiful. I envy your master, and hope he never
tires of you, because I do not see how you can ever be whole without him.
Love can be so very touching."
I
flinch, not from his insistent caress, but from his words. He glances at
me in surprise. "But surely you knew that you loved him? I knew, the
moment I saw you that first time in Krypton. How strangely compelling a
study you are, Fox! So aware, and yet so naive. Did you think that it was
just a physical thing? Just a need to feel his hands upon your body, or to
hear him claim you? Foolish boy!" He shakes his head in disbelief. His
hands are under my butt cheeks, and he pulls me down the bed towards him.
"If I said the price for his life was that you let me fuck you, now, would
you agree?"
"Yes.
You know I would," I tell him through gritted teeth.
"And
if I ask you to become aroused, and jerk yourself off for me to watch,
would you do that?"
"Yes."
I grind out.
"Very
well." He undoes one of the cuffs. "Play with yourself, Fox." He sits
back, watching, and I close my eyes, wondering what jerk-off fantasy to
use. Usually, it involves enormous-breasted blonde women, but somehow I'm
not in the mood for that right now. I remember that first time Skinner
‘took’ me, and the wild animal roar as he came. I think about those bites
that marked me, and that first bath, his body floating against mine, his
heavy, naked scalp on my bare chest. My cock is hard, swollen as I savor
these memories, and I pump myself effortlessly to climax.
"Bravo." Saunders claps slowly, sarcastically. "You'll do for him what you
wouldn't do to save yourself last night. I'm impressed."
He
walks over to the telephone and picks it up, and I listen in disbelief as
he requests the services of a doctor.
"Thank
you," I mutter when he finishes. He grins.
"For
what? Let me tell you a secret, Fox; I like Mr. Skinner - he's the sort of
man I approve of. Tomorrow night he will have to prove that he is strong
enough to join us. I hope he is. I need the challenge of a man like him,
to keep me interested in the thrill of the fight. Of course,
theoretically, his choice of opponent is completely random, but I've never
been terribly keen on leaving things in the lap of the gods, so to speak."
His mouth turns up at the corners in a grim, humorless, utterly ruthless
smile.
"The
man I have in mind for him to fight is strong, so if Skinner is to stand
any chance at all, I'll have to see that he's fitter than he is right now.
You were just the icing on the cake. I'd have called for a doctor whether
you agreed to be mine or not. I always intended to. I was just intrigued
by you, and thought that I'd test your limits. I'm pleased to say that you
remain one of the most interesting submissives I've ever met."
"You
bastard," I say quietly. "You put me through all that because..."
"I
wanted you. Yes," he shrugs, "and I very nearly had you."
"What
sort of a man are you?" I ask him, as genuinely intrigued by him as he has
been by me.
"Extraordinary, I believe." He grins.
"Didn't you ever want a normal life? To settle down, with one person."
"Oh I
have a wife." He laughs at my surprise.
"Does
she play these sorts of games with you?"
"No.
Oh dear me, no!" He laughs again. "She's another top, dear Fox. I believe
she has her own little harem of slaves - girls as well as boys. I don't
inquire too much - that's entirely her affair. I give her notice when I
intend to visit and she sees that they are discreetly out of sight during
my stay. We're very fond of other, although we don't actually live
together - we appreciate each other more this way."
"And
kids?" I ask.
"Two.
A boy and a girl. Both flown the nest now, and doing very well in their
respective fields."
"And
if they ended up in a place like this? What would you think then?" I can't
help but be fascinated by him.
He
shrugs. "That would be their choice. Everyone must find their own way to
fulfilment."
"You
do know that you're fucking crazy, don't you?" I say, because I can be
crazy too, but he doesn't even look angry at that remark.
"No
more so than a man who can sleep next to someone every night, and yet
never realize how profoundly in love he is." He grins at me, and then the
smile fades abruptly, and he fingers the bruise on his neck. "Now, what
shall we do about this?" he asks, looming over me threateningly. "The
penalty for striking a master is usually severe." He is looking at me
intently. "A spell in the Zone usually works." A knowing smile plays
around his lips. He knows how fucking scared I am of that place. "What do
you say, Fox? Technically speaking, you still belong to me, and if I want
to put you in the Zone, I can. Does it appeal, hmm?" He strokes my hair
softly, like a kind lover, not the crazy pervert I know he is.
"No.
You know it doesn't," I choke.
"And
would you beg me?" he whispers. "Beg me not to put you there, Fox."
"Please. Don't put me in the Zone. Please, master." I beg, with total
honesty. I'm completely freaked by the thought of ending up in the Zone
and he knows it.
"It
could be just what you need," he says, caressing my face lightly. I close
my eyes and clench my fists, taking a deep breath. "Does it scare you?"
His voice is sibilant in my ear. "I like your fear, Fox. Tell me how much
it scares you."
"I'm
fucking scared. Please don't do it. Please," I tell him sincerely. He
looks at me for a long time, and then laughs.
"Well,
how sweet. Poor boy - you really mean that. I think we'll save the Zone
for another day. I like teasing you with the threat of it. One day I might
show you the reality, but I'm going to let you sweat a little bit more
first. It's more fun this way." I breathe a huge sigh of relief as he
undoes my other cuff.
"Run
along now, Fox. You've amused me enough. Go back to Mr. Skinner. The
doctor will be here shortly. Next time I see you, I expect you to be
dressed according to your status," he warns, and with that, he hands me my
clothes and ushers me peremptorily from the room, closing the door behind
me.
Skinner is still asleep when I return to our room. He has a spread of
yellowing bruises along the left-hand side of his jaw, and a series of
purple ones by his cheekbone. One of his eyes is slightly puffy, and
there's a cut on his forehead. If I pull the sheet down, I know I'll find
dozens more cuts and bruises. The location of each and every one is etched
in my memory - I could tell you where any single one is without even
looking. I wonder if he looked like this back in Vietnam, after he nearly
died. I try to picture him scared and vulnerable, but I can't. He isn't
any of those things to me. Even lying here, wounded and in pain, he still
retains those qualities that make him the person whom Saunders is
convinced I am in love with. In love? With this man? A week ago I'd have
said anyone suggesting it had to be crazy. Now, I don't know. I pull on my
designer slave boy jeans, and take up a protective position at the foot of
the bed, watching him sleep.
The
doctor arrives an hour or so later. He's young, and nervous-looking, and
quite clearly he's undergone Saunders's "breaking" treatment at some point
in his past. His examination wakens my bleary-eyed lover, although I'm not
convinced that he really knows what's going on. Saunders stands back by
the door, watching the proceedings with his usual predatory air.
"He
needs to be in the hospital," the doctor mumbles, unable to look Saunders
in the eye.
"We
all have needs that can't be met," Saunders shrugs. "He has to fight,
Adam. Tomorrow evening. You can fix him up well enough for that, can't
you?"
"Well...I..." Adam looks at Skinner and back at Saunders. Saunders steps
forward, and puts his arm around the young man's neck, soothing him.
"It's
okay. Just one fight. If he wins, he can go straight to the hospital."
"And
if he loses?" I ask hotly.
"Then
it won't matter," Saunders shrugs. "So, Adam, just get him well enough to
fight. The rest is out of your hands."
"I
could give him something." Adam bites down on his lip. "It will help him
in the short term."
"Well
then!" Saunders beams. "That's all we care about isn't it?"
"No,"
I state flatly. "It isn't. What is this stuff you're planning on giving
him?"
"It's..." Adam won't meet my eyes either. "It's a drug that you won't have
heard of. I can inject him and he'll feel better but..."
"But?"
"Sometimes there are side effects later. And he won't really be better. I
mean, the underlying causes of his illness will still be there. You said
something about a damaged kidney?"
"Yeah."
"Well,
he needs to get that checked out in hospital. He might need some special
medication, or even an operation." He bites his lip again, his eyes
sliding in all directions. I sense a serious battle between his medical
ethics and his obedience to Saunders.
"This
drug you're planning on giving him - is it dangerous?" I demand. Adam
shifts anxiously from foot to foot.
"It
can be," he says uneasily.
"Then
the answer is no," I say firmly. "Saunders this has to end. He has to go
to the hospital."
"Nonsense." Saunders puts his arm around my shoulder now, and leads me
away to a corner of the room. "Perhaps I haven't made myself clear," he
tells me in a low tone. "When Skinner leaves here, he will either have
become a fully initiated member of Mithras, or..." he shrugs.
"Or
what?" I hold my breath, already knowing the answer.
"Or
he's nothing at all," Saunders states ambiguously.
"I
see." I stare him straight in the eye. I'm dealing with a crazy man here;
there's no sense reasoning with him.
"So
what's it to be?" Saunders asks. "Do we give him the medication, or do we
just leave nature to take its course and hope that he can stand, let alone
fight?"
"Give
him the fucking medication." I turn away, unable to watch, knowing that I
might have just signed his death warrant, but convinced that I have no
other option.
"All
done." Saunders taps me on the shoulder a few seconds later. "Adam is
leaving a second dose by his bed. You can administer that to him yourself
tomorrow."
"No
fucking way." I shake my head.
"Well,
as you wish," He laughs, and ushers the pathetic Adam out of the room.
The
difference in Skinner is amazing. He's up within hours, pacing around the
room, his pupils dilated.
"I'm
fine. I feel fine." He can't sit still for a minute. "I could fight now.
Hell, I could fight ten men right this second."
"A few
hours ago you couldn't even stand up," I tell him. "It's just the drug
talking. Sit down and conserve your strength."
"Nah.
This is great. Nothing hurts. I feel like...I feel like I could fly." He
grins broadly, and flexes his muscles.
"Well
you can't. So just lie down, and shut up."
"What's up with you?" He does at least manage to sit down for five
seconds, grabbing my face, and looking me in the eye, before his restless
legs make him resume that pacing.
"I'm
thinking."
"Don't
worry. I'm going to win. I'm going to beat this guy, whoever it is,
and..."
"It'll
be Matt," I tell him.
"How
do you know that?" He frowns, pausing by the armchair, and then sets off
for another circuit around the room.
"Because Saunders doesn't like him. Saunders told me that your opponent is
supposed to be an arbitrary choice - I'd guess he's probably chosen by
lot. But Saunders will manipulate the draw, and it will be Matt. Saunders
wants to get rid of Matt, and, for some inexplicable reason, he's taken a
liking to you."
"Inexplicable?" He raises an eyebrow. "I'm a likeable person."
"Have
it your own way." I shrug. "If you think it's a compliment to be liked by
a crazy, sadistic, madman who is, in all likelihood, a murderer, then
that's up to you. Personally, I prefer my testimonials to come from more
reputable sources."
"Like
Mufon? Or the Society For Disadvantaged Mutants?" He grins, doing some
irritating little jogging steps, and jabs a punch at an imaginary
opponent. I could grow to seriously dislike him when he's like this. "So,
you think Saunders is our murderer?" He lunges at his non-existent
assailant, but his body isn't anywhere near as agile as his mind thinks it
is, and he stumbles and falls on top of me, all 200 pounds of him,
crushing the breath out of me.
"For
fuck's sake, just sit down and be quiet," I gasp, pushing him off me. He
lies on the bed, winded.
"I can
see grapefruits," he tells me, pointing at the ceiling.
"Grapefruits?" As drugs go, whatever he was given obviously lacks some of
the more psychedelic delights of say, LSD, or hash. Not that I'm a
frigging expert, I hasten to add.
"Yeah.
Big yellow ones. God, I could murder for something citrus right now. Go
and get me something, Fox." He turns his big brown eyes on me, and for the
first time in his life, I suspect, he has a winsome, appealing, almost
puppyish look on his face. It's not a pleasant sight. It doesn't sit well
on those blunt, stern, no-nonsense features.
"Oh,
all right. But only if you lie there, and don't move until I get back."
I set
off wearily for the kitchen, and find him some oranges. When I return, I
find him out of breath, and he has a guilty expression on his face. He
launches himself at the bed, trying to pretend he never left it, so it's
gratifying to note that I'm not the only one who has trouble with this
whole obedience thing. I toss him an orange, and he misses it.
"Here.
Follow my finger." I wave my index finger in front of his face, and he
follows it for a second with his eyes, and then they wander over to the
dropped orange. "I said, follow it." I jerk his attention back, but he
clearly has the concentration span of a small child right now, so I give
up, and recover the orange. He takes it eagerly but his fingers are
shaking, and he drops it again. I retrieve it with a sigh, and peel it for
him while he goes for another run around the room. He's making me dizzy.
"If you sit down and stay quiet you can have the orange," I bribe quite
blatantly, and he nods, and sits down on the bed, opening his mouth for me
to feed him segments. I'm not sure he could manage the co-ordination
required to actually place the food into his mouth without dropping it, or
crashing it into his nose.
Then,
suddenly, without any warning, he just drops, falling back on the bed as
if the life has been sucked from him. I look at my watch. His burst of
energy lasted a little over an hour. My eyes travel over to the medicine
that Adam, the so-called 'doctor', has left. Skinner's concentration might
be shot to pieces, and his co-ordination minimal, but the drug might
represent the best chance he has. I resolve to save it for the last minute
and I know that I'll use it if I have to, despite my earlier protestations
to the contrary.
"I
hurt," he moans as the pain comes flooding back into his body and his raw
nerve endings scream with the shock of it.
"It's
okay," I whisper. I pull him up the bed to make him more comfortable, hold
his limp body cradled loosely against my chest, and kiss his smooth scalp.
"Damn
well...hurts." He writhes for a moment, and I figure that this must be a
side effect of the drug, and that whatever pain he's experiencing must be
intense. He's never exactly been the sort of guy to complain about
physical discomfort after all; I've seen him after he's been shot and he
didn't even notice the wound until I pointed it out.
"Okay.
Just lie still." I stroke my fingers against his head as he twists and
turns. Sweat is beading his naked scalp and I wipe it off, gently. Finally
he calms down.
"You
were saying something about Saunders being the murderer," he mumbles at
last, trying to distract himself.
"Yeah.
He's certainly the brains behind this whole sick organization. And he's
ruthless enough to be the murderer, but the final piece of the puzzle
hasn't slotted into place in my head yet. I've worked some of it out. I
know Saunders wants to get shot of Matt. I know he'd prefer it if you took
Matt's place, and that's why you'll find yourself facing Matt tomorrow
evening. Saunders has implied that this is a final, deciding fight."
"A
fight to the death?" Skinner moves his head, and looks up at me. His eyes
are cloudy and tired, but he's still trying to follow what I'm saying.
"I'm
not sure. Saunders indicated something different. That's the part that's
eating me." His body convulses unexpectedly in my arms, and I hold him
down until the fit passes. "It's okay. I'm here," I murmur, stroking his
head softly, but I'm freaked out by his state of health. Surely one more
fight will kill him? He's not superhuman, much as I like to project that
image onto him sometimes. That makes me laugh, as I remember Krypton and
that cheesy Superman routine we witnessed.
"What?" he mutters.
"I
just had a mental image of you - in blue tights, with a big 'S' on your
latex-clad chest."
"You
don't think I could carry off the tights?"
"With
those legs, Mr Beefcake? Are you kidding! I'd take photos and distribute
them around the Bureau for everyone to admire."
"Nobody would recognize me without my glasses," he points out. "That's the
whole thing about Superman. That's what you're talking about isn't it? 'S
'for 'Superman'? That loony Krypton thing?"
"Nah.
'S' for Skinner." I kiss him tenderly on the head, and watch as his eyes
close. I'm not sure that I recognize him without his metaphorical glasses.
He's everything I knew him to be, but in ways a hundred times more complex
and compelling than I would ever have imagined. Now has been a really
stupid time to fall in love.
His
health has improved marginally by the following afternoon. With three
hours to go until the scheduled fight, I outline our options to him, the
syringe and small vial of medication held between my nerveless fingers.
"The
way I see it, there aren't any options," he sighs wearily. He looks like
death - as white as one of his own dress shirts, making the multi-hued
bruises on his face stand out in stark relief. "I can't fight Matt, or
anyone, like this. Hell, even you could beat me right now."
"I'm
not a complete wuss," I reply stiffly. "I have been known to win the
occasional fight."
"Next
you'll be telling me you never drop your gun either," he teases.
"Ha,
ha. I always knew that grim exterior hid a sense of humor, somewhere,
several layers deep. I'm so glad I never made an effort to find it before.
Are you always this flippant when facing life and death situations?"
"You're never satisfied are you? Last time we were facing a fight, you
bitched that I wasn't flippant enough!" he exclaims. "It's the only way to
be when you're looking forward to either the welcoming hug of initiation
into an insane cult or summary castration, though." He shrugs. "So, when
do you inject me?"
"There
is another option," I state carefully, looking at him.
"What's that?" His head jerks up in surprise.
"Have
you considered telling them who we are? We might be able to scare them
into letting us go."
"Are
you kidding?" He shakes his head.
"It
might be worth a try."
"Fox,"
he interrupts me. "I won't pretend that I haven't thought about it. I've
rolled a lot of options around in my head, and this is one of them, but
it's not a good idea. It's a huge gamble - they might just cut their
losses, kill the pair of us, and run. They are unlikely to just let us go.
Let's be frank about this - I'm the only one who stands to die in the next
few hours. The sensible decision has to be that I take that risk. At least
you'll still be around by the time help arrives to tell the investigative
team what happened, and give evidence. It's a simple evaluation of risk.
We either put both our lives in jeopardy, or just mine. No contest
really," he shrugs.
"Shit." I bury my head in my knees, and lace my arms together over my
neck.
"Fox?"
His head appears in front of my knees as he tries to see what's going on
with me.
"Back
in your office, days ago, you said that you couldn't evaluate the risk to
yourself. You warned me, Lenny warned me. Everybody warned me but I
wouldn't damn well listen." I mumble incoherently into my jeans.
"It's
too late for regrets now." He disentangles my arms from around my neck,
and lifts my face up. "We're here. We have a job to do. Don't wallow in
guilt, Mulder. I need you sharp for the next few hours. I'm not sure I'm
thinking as clearly as I could be. If it's any consolation, I promise that
if we ever get out of here alive, I'll make you regret disobeying my
orders, big time. How's that?"
"Fine
by me." I smile weakly.
"Good." He picks up the syringe and vial, and hands them to me. "Time for
my medication, Doctor."
Saunders makes an appearance a little while later.
"Feeling better I hope, Mr. Skinner?" he asks. Skinner nods, his knees
already beginning to twitch with energy, which I'm grateful for. It means
I timed the medication right.
"Is it
time to go?" Skinner asks.
"Not
quite yet. I came here to get Fox," Saunders beckons to me.
"Why,
where are we going?" I demand, fighting down a wave of panic.
"Just
follow me, Fox. You're in no position to argue." Saunders looks at Skinner
who sighs, and nods.
"Do as
he says." He shrugs wearily. I want to do something embarrassingly mushy,
like kiss the lips right off his face, but I restrain myself. Skinner just
isn't that kind of guy. I never thought I was that kind of guy either. The
heady combination of sex and fighting, and the constant threats of fates
worse than death are clearly having a mind-altering effect on me. It could
be a good topic for a thesis, if I live to write it. I follow Saunders to
the slave-pen where I'm surprised to find the entire submissive population
of Mithras assembled.
"Sit
down on one of the bunks, Fox." Saunders nods his head pleasantly.
"Why?
What's happening? What's going on?" I sit down as instructed and he grabs
my hand, and before I know it I find myself handcuffed to the bunk. "Let
me go. Fuck, what is this?" I tug on the cuff, and he smiles at me, and
pats my head.
"We
know what you're like, don't we, Fox?" He sighs with mock regret. "It's
safer to have you firmly locked away so that you're not tempted to pry
where you shouldn't."
"You
can't do this. Please, let me be with him, if he's going to die. Please!"
I pull on the cuff, but Saunders takes no notice and, with a smile to
Nick, he turns on his heel and leaves the pen.
"Nick
- what's going on?" I ask desperately when Saunders has gone.
"I
don't know," he shrugs. "Every so often we get put in here and told to
wait. Later on they let us out. It's no big deal."
"It
is a big deal, Nick," I tell him forcefully. "While you're all locked
away in here, they are doing something crazy. You have to help me to
escape."
"I
can't do that." He looks aghast at the very thought of disobeying
Saunders.
"You
have to," I tell him urgently. "Nick - haven't you noticed that one of the
tops always disappears after these sessions?"
Nick
licks his lips nervously, and puts a finger over his mouth.
"Ssh,
Fox. Don't talk about that. They just leave, they move on. That's all," he
says, in a frightened tone of voice.
"Nick,
they don't move on. They're killed - in the most brutal manner you could
possibly imagine. You have to help me."
Nick
stands there, looking agonized. "Killed?" he whispers.
"Yes.
Castrated. They bleed to death."
"Who
would do that? Not Aaron, he couldn't." Nick's voice trails off, and I
know he doesn't really believe that. The strength that he so admires in
his lover could easily lend itself to a more extreme form of violence than
could be sated in the Arena. "Are you saying that Aaron...?" he whispers,
his eyes horrified.
"No.
No, I'm not," I tell him, suddenly figuring it all out in that one moment.
The final piece of the jigsaw clicks effortlessly into place, and I now
understand why what Skinner said to me, and what I said to him, back in
his office, days ago, has been bugging me. "It isn't Aaron, although he's
almost certainly the one behind it. Nick, please. You have to help me. If
you don't you'll be an accessory to murder. Please," I beg him
frantically.
"Okay.
Okay," he whispers, casting an anxious glance around the rest of the room,
but there won't be any opposition from the other subs. "How can I help?"
"Is
the door locked?" I ask him. He nods.
"Get a
piece of wire - from a coat hanger or something like that." He quickly
finds something that will do, and I instruct him to twist it, and insert
it into the cuff. He pokes around ineffectually for several anxious
minutes until I'm practically crying with frustration. It's past eleven
now. The fight might have already started. Please god, no! One of the
other subs comes over to us.
"I can
do it," he offers. I recognize Matt's slave, and smile at him
encouragingly. "I, uh, used to be good at this sort of thing," he says
mysteriously, without elaborating further. Within seconds, he's sprung the
lock, and I'm free.
"What
about the main door? Could you do that too?" I ask him and he nods,
pleased to be of use. Soon that lock yields to his expert touch as well.
"Do you know the way to the Arena from here?" I ask Nick, and he nods.
"Take me there." I command, and he hesitates for a moment, but he's come
this far, so eventually he nods, and leads the way. I break into a jog
beside him, forcing him to hurry. It's twenty past eleven. Skinner could
already be dead or dying.
I'm
not sure what I intend to do, just that I must let Skinner know what I've
figured out, because he doesn't understand what a no-win situation he's
in. I skid to a halt outside the Arena. It's deathly quiet - none of the
usual roaring of the crowd, but I can hear the rasping breathing and
slugging sounds of two men fighting. This is stupid. I should try
something else. Perhaps, go back to the Bat Cave, try to get out that way.
Even if I'm caught, it could be a diversion, a distraction from what is
about to take place - but it's too late. As I turn around, I find myself
face to face with one of the guards.
We're
marched into the Arena at gunpoint. I could kick myself again - of course
Saunders would have his guards out in full on a night like this. The
flames of the torches in the Arena are low, and I pause, stupefied by the
sight that greets me. The tops are standing around the edges of the Arena,
giving the two combatants plenty of room to maneuver, but that isn't what
alarms me. Everyone, except the fighters, is wearing masks - stupid,
ridiculous masks in the shape of bull's heads, complete with horns, that
totally obscure their faces. I feel like I'm in a bad "b" movie, and any
minute now a half naked, heaving-bosomed girl will rush past screaming
"It's alive!" and point at a slithering, blood-sucking reptilian life
form, or a killer vegetable. No such luck. Instead I'm pushed into the
Arena, and the fighting comes to an abrupt stop.
"Who
interrupts our ceremony?" A voice I recognize as Saunders's demands from
behind a mask. He strides angrily towards us. "So, Fox. Your curiosity
might finally be your undoing. And as for you." His eyes glare at Nick
from behind the mask, and Nick wilts, seriously scared by the bizarre
nature of the proceedings, and throws himself at Saunders's feet in
misery.
"I'm
sorry. I didn't know what to do. I'm sorry!" he sobs.
"The
punishment for this might well be more than you can survive," Saunders
tells him coldly, picking him up, and throwing him bodily across the room
towards the post. He fastens the hapless Nick there with a cuff, and then
returns for me. "As you wanted to be witnesses, then by all means, join
us," Saunders hisses, taking hold of my hair, and dragging me across the
room, before handcuffing me as well.
Skinner barely spares me a glance. His entire being is focused on Matt,
who is his opponent as I predicted he would be. All Skinner's waning
energy is fixed on the fight that he knows he has to win if he wants to
stay alive. Only it won't make any difference. Winning will just hurl him
into a different nightmare. There is no oil on their bodies, no melodrama,
just a grim, intense fight to decide who stays alive, and who dies. Matt
knows what the penalty is for losing, and Skinner can guess, but he
doesn't know all of it. I try to attract his attention with my eyes, but
he's stubbornly focused.
"The
fight will continue," Saunders announces grimly, and Matt and Skinner stop
eyeballing each other, and return once more to the cold, quiet battle that
will end in the death of one or other of them. I find I even miss the
atmosphere of the other fights, the drama and excitement. I've seen some
sights in my time that have scared me witless, but none more so than
standing in this silent room, watching these two men fight in front of all
these silent witnesses in their masks.
The
only sound is the grunting, rasping noise of the fight and Nick's scared,
muffled sobs as he crouches against the post, his head buried in his
knees.
Matt
slugs a blow at Skinner, who side-steps it easily, the medication filling
him with that same buzzing energy that he had yesterday. Only he can't
control his movements, so his side-step ends in a sloping fall to one
side, and he ends up near my feet. I crouch down beside him.
"I've
finally figured it all out," I whisper as he shakes his head, his eyes
fixed on Matt, who's advancing on him.
"Oh
yeah?" He gets to his feet, and lumbers back into the circle like a bear
who's been swung around until he's dizzy. Matt launches himself at him,
and Skinner gets in a powerful blow to Matt's body, throwing him off to
one side with a roar. Skinner follows him, but Matt escapes and dances
around the edge of the circle. Skinner is soon back within earshot as he
chases after his opponent.
"Yeah
- Saunders isn't the murderer. At least," Skinner ducks to avoid a blow,
and it lands on me instead, hitting me square on the jaw and flinging me
back against the post. "Thanks, boss," I mutter under my breath, but the
fighting has moved away again. I rub my jaw, and watch as Matt dances
around while Skinner tries to focus on him. I remember the orange
yesterday. Skinner's focusing skills are not exactly finely honed at the
moment, and, without his glasses, they're probably practically zero. Matt
doesn't realize this though, and he wears himself out, dancing around
while Skinner just stands there, patiently, waiting until a target looms
into view, and then flailing his fists at it for all he's worth. Matt ends
up in the floor at my feet, and Skinner throws himself on top of him,
pummeling his face into the sand.
"So,
who is the murderer?" Skinner grunts, getting hold of Matt's face, and
head-butting him squarely across his already bruised nose. Matt squeals.
Skinner delivers a backhand across Matt's jaw, another going the other
way, a third under Matt's chin, and Matt finally lies still in the sand,
out cold. Skinner gets up and staggers over to me, looking at me
questioningly. "Well?" he whispers.
"Tonight? You are," I tell him.
The
room is suddenly galvanized into action. Matt is swept up onto the
shoulders of half a dozen of the tops, and a low humming begins. Skinner
looks around in alarm, and Nick's sobbing goes up a decibel. I wish he'd
shut up.
"Now
might be a good time to tell them we're FBI agents," I hiss at Skinner.
"No. I
told you. That's not an option." He frowns at me.
"You
don't understand."
"Yes.
I do." The stubborn bastard shakes his head. At that moment Saunders
appears.
"Congratulations, Mr. Skinner." He holds out his hand. "Welcome to Mithras!"
He refrains from giving one of those long, sinister laughs so beloved of
the villains in all good 'b' movies, which I personally find disappointing
considering the circumstances. Instead, he shakes Skinner's hand, and
draws him towards the chapel.
"Oh
shit," I mutter under my breath. Nick starts to whimper, looking up at me
with scared eyes.
"Bring
them. They wanted to see, so let them see, everything!" Saunders says, and
the guards unfasten us from the post and drag us bodily behind the grim,
humming, line of men as they carry Matt's prone body into the other room.
We then form a procession, going down the aisle of the chapel with Matt's
body raised high in front of us, before ending up by the locked door at
the end of the room. Oh shit, it's the one where we weren't allowed to go
before. If this were a movie, now would be a really good time to be
rescued. It doesn't happen.
Saunders unlocks the door, and we find ourselves in an empty room - empty
save for a huge iron grille suspended over two blocks of stone. On the
floor under the grille, there are ominous signs of spilt blood. Hanging on
the wall, is a huge sacrificial blade, and above that, is another of those
murals depicting a bullfight. Only this time, the bull is already dead,
its blood spilling out, and bathing the naked initiate standing below.
"Oh
fuck." Skinner says, coming to a sudden halt, making me bump into him.
Saunders goes on ahead, and leads the procession to the grille. He lays
Matt out on top of it, and the group of tops start undressing the
semi-conscious man.
"Yeah," I whisper. "That's what was bugging me. You remember that you said
that one of the features of the ancient Mithras religion was being bathed
in bull's blood?"
"Yeah." He's nodding and swaying at the same time.
"And I
said that you don't find too many bulls roaming down your average street
in Washington, DC?"
"Yeah.
I remember that bit too." He nods again.
"Well,
I think they've found a substitute bull," I finish. He looks at me, his
eyes aghast as the full horror of it sinks in.
"Complicity," I whisper. "They're all murderers. Everyone who has joined -
although I suspect they've been on recruitment drive recently, hence the
plethora of dead bodies in the past few months. Saunders might be behind
that."
"I'm
supposed to...I've got to...?" His face is deathly pale.
"Yeah.
It will ensure your silence. They all have too much to lose. Most cults
use shared guilt as a means of ensuring their members' loyalty and
silence, but the Mithras method is particularly effective in a uniquely
grotesque way. It's pretty neat." I grin. He's not the only one who can
smile in the face of fates worse than death.
"And
if I refuse?" he whispers.
"Guess
who ends up in the hotspot then," I murmur. He staggers against me, and I
hold him up. The drug has obviously started to wear off.
Matt
has been secured tightly to the grille, and his head starts to move. He's
groaning weakly, and his eyes open. He realizes what is happening, and
screams at the top of his lungs.
"NO.
You can't...NO!!!" He tries to struggle, but he must know that it isn't
any use.
"First
the carving," Saunders announces, taking down the sacrificial knife. We
lean closer, in awed and morbid fascination, as Saunders inserts the knife
into Matt's flesh, clumsily carving out the Taurean symbol we saw on those
dead bodies we fished out of the Potomac. Matt screams, more from fear and
knowledge of what will happen next, than real pain, as the cuts are only
skin deep. Saunders finishes his task, and hands the blade to the next
man. We watch in mute horror as the carving takes place, and then Skinner
is beckoned forward.
"No,"
he says firmly to me, and I shut my mouth before I can even open it. "You
do not tell them. I am still the only one at risk here," he mutters
grimly. He goes up to the grille, and Saunders holds the knife out to him.
"First, you carve the symbol in his flesh, then you offer him up as a
sacrifice," he murmurs to Skinner. I wonder if Skinner is the only one on
drugs here this evening. Either that, or the sinister, scarily sane,
albeit sociopathic, Saunders, is able to psyche himself into this sort of
madness at will. Skinner stands there, looking down on Matt's body. "Death
by castration," Saunders whispers. "An offering to Mithras. Then you will
disrobe, and stand beneath the grille to be soaked in the sacrificial
blood. Only then will you be accepted into our brotherhood."
"And
if I refuse?" Skinner asks.
"Then
you will take his place on the sacrificial table. There must be an
offering tonight."
"NO!"
Matt screams again and beside me, Nick sinks to the ground, a gibbering
wreck. Skinner takes the knife, and stands there, looking down on Matt's
body, and I know he can't do it. He's spent his life upholding justice and
the rule of law, I don't think that's about to change now. He'd rather die
than be complicit in this murder. He takes a deep breath, raises the
knife, then turns, trying to grasp Saunders, to hold the knife to
Saunders's throat, and take him hostage, but his co-ordination isn't up to
the task, and Saunders side-steps him, making Skinner fall clumsily to the
ground. I'm not physically able to breathe as Saunders stands astride
Skinner, and relieves him of the knife. If there wasn't a gun pressed into
the back of my neck, nothing could stop me from running forward at this
moment.
"So,
Mr. Skinner, is that your choice?" Saunders asks.
"It's
the only choice I can make," Skinner shrugs, trying to get to his feet.
"How
disappointing," Saunders murmurs, starting to untie Matt. "I had such high
hopes for you, Mr. Skinner. Prepare him." He gestures with his head in
Skinner's direction, and the other members of the cult begin that keening
hum, descending on my lover.
"Stop!" someone shouts. I'm as surprised as anyone to discover that it's
me. I take a careful step forward, aware of the gun pressed against my
neck. "This has to come to an end right now," I tell them. "Nobody is
going to die here this evening. I'm a special agent with the FBI, and this
is the Assistant Director in charge of Criminal Investigations. That makes
him a powerful and important man. I promise you, that if you kill him,
you'll have more federal agents chasing you than you have any chance of
evading, to say nothing of every police department in every state in the
country. There won't be anywhere you can hide. We'll track down each and
every one of you."
Saunders is staring at me, clearly unsure whether to believe me or not.
Skinner is sighing.
"I
mean it," I tell Saunders. "The first body was fished out of the Potomac 3
months ago. Then nothing for several weeks. Then 4 more bodies in quick
succession. We soon knew that we were chasing a serial killer. Immediately
I recognized the ritualistic elements of the murders, such as the
mutilations and the use of the bull symbol, I was assigned to the case -
and the Assistant Director here took personal charge of the
investigation."
The
information I have given him is enough to make Saunders think twice. He
pauses, and glances at Skinner, who pointedly refuses to speak.
"Do
you feel lucky?" I ask Saunders. "You could kill us, but our investigative
team knows who you are, and they’re searching for us. You don't have much
time, Saunders."
He
hesitates for a long moment, weighing up his options.
"Why
not run another check on us," I tell him urgently. "Make a few phone
calls, ask a few questions around my apartment block. You know where I
live. You'll soon discover that I'm telling the truth."
Saunders removes the bull mask, and looks keenly from Skinner to me, and
then back again. "I think," he murmurs, "that we have a small hiccup in
the proceedings."
"I
suppose it's too much to hope that one day you'll follow one of my
orders," Skinner grumbles as we are ushered down the corridor at
gun-point.
"I was
buying you time. Three more minutes, and you'd have lost a part of
yourself I've grown pretty damn fond of - another five, and I'd have lost
you altogether."
"As it
is, guess where we're both going to end up," he murmurs.
"Oh
shit." I can feel myself start to tremble as Saunders stops outside the
Zone, and unlocks the door.
"Fuck,
fuck, shit."
Skinner puts one arm around my shoulders as we are pushed inside, and the
door is locked behind us. Saunders escorts us into the darkness of the
Zone, and then unlocks another door. I stand on the threshold, my hands on
either side of the door frame, resisting the inevitable for as long as
possible. The guard raises his gun high to thwack it across my head and
force me inside, but Skinner intervenes smoothly; he unhooks my fingers,
pushes me through the door, and then follows on behind. In the center of
the room is one of those racks we saw that guy attached to. I find myself
swallowing convulsively.
"Later," Saunders says, and it's a threat.
"Later," Skinner shrugs, standing up tall, and looking Saunders calmly in
the eye. I breathe a sigh of relief as the door is shut behind us and
locked, and I hear footsteps moving away, back up the corridor.
It's
dark and damp, but at least nobody has tried to hook us up to anything.
Skinner slumps wearily down on the ground, his legs giving out, while I
pace the confines of our cell, looking for a way out that I know doesn't
exist.
"Why
did they put us in here?" I ask him.
"Because it's the most secure area in this place, and given your Houdini
abilities, he clearly doesn't want to take any chances."
"What
do you think will happen next?" I finish my circuit of the cell, coming to
the reluctant, if inevitable conclusion that there aren't any hidden
doors.
"Saunders will run some more checks. He'll find out that you are telling
the truth. Then he'll decide whether or not to kill us," Skinner informs
me bluntly.
"And
will he?" I ask, my fingers idly scraping black mould off the walls. "Kill
us, I mean?"
"He
might. He'll have to weigh that against allowing us to go free knowing
what we know. My guess is that he'll do something else entirely."
"What?"
"He'll
just leave us here," Skinner says with a deep sigh.
"What?
Forever?" I can feel myself starting to shiver. He isn't telling me
anything I haven't worked out for myself, but hearing it spoken out loud
just confirms it.
"That's right. He'll close down this whole operation and move on. They'll
all scatter - new names, new identities. Saunders knows he's had his fun
with this particular little operation."
"And
what about Kendall and the cavalry? Supposing they don't get here in
time?" I sit down next to him.
"Well
you don't need me to answer that," he says, the whites of his eyes just
visible in the dark. "We can survive for a few weeks without food,
although you're a bit on the skinny side." He pokes my bare ribs. "But as
for water...unless we can lick some moisture off the walls, I'd give us
less than a week."
"I
thought you said Kendall was good," I accuse. "I mean how long have we
fucking been here? If he's your idea of good."
"I
didn't say he was fast - but he is very thorough."
"Great. So, by the time he gets here, all that will be left of us is our
bones, but at least he'll have dotted all the i's, crossed all the t's,
and obeyed all the right rules, and followed procedure," I rant, with as
much sarcasm as I can muster. "Have you ever wondered if you have your
priorities straight? I mean, you chew out your think-on-their-feet type
agents, and pat the plodders on the back. Is this fair?"
"Mulder,
I've been more than fair to you over the years," he states patiently. "You
have no idea what pressure has been put on me to close the X Files at
various points in your illustrious career."
"You
did close the X Files once," I remind him.
"And
then I opened them again. Your point is?"
"Oh,
nothing. I'm hungry already. And cold. And I hate this damn place." I
shiver violently, and he reaches out a tired arm, and drags my body
against his for warmth. I can hear the beating of his heart against my own
- like me, he isn't wearing a shirt. His heartbeat is too fast, and I
wonder what havoc that drug is wreaking in his bloodstream. Maybe he'll
die before I do, and I'll have to sit for days in the dark with a corpse.
That thought just makes me shiver again, even more violently than before,
and he wraps both his arms around me, and holds me tight.
"When
we get back, the first thing I'm going to do is make myself a massive
bologna sandwich," he murmurs, fantasizing idly.
"Really? When we get back the first thing I'm going to do is put on a damn
shirt and some shoes," I tell him.
"No
point doing that when the second thing I'm going to do is take them all
off again." His lips nuzzle my ear.
"This
sounds more like it. The second thing I'm going to do is undress you.
Slowly. The third thing I'm going to do is lick you all over, the fourth
thing I'm going to do is to wrap my mouth around..."
"All
right, Mulder, don't labor the joke," he interrupts, shifting
uncomfortably, but I can feel the sudden hardness in his pants. That's my
man - even after three grueling fighting sessions, a high fever, being
drugged up to the eyeballs, forced to participate in a macabre, cult
sacrifice, threatened with possible castration, and imprisoned in a damp
dungeon, he can still get a hard on. I've chosen well here.
"Did
you think you'd die like this?" I ask him. "I always thought I'd die from
a bullet to the head, courtesy of the Consortium, or from some genetic
mutation that speeded up my ageing process, or maybe as the victim of
rampaging killer bees."
"Did
you? I always thought you'd die 52 light years away on some alien planet,"
he remarks. "That is, after all, where you seem to have been living for
the past few years."
"You
know, there's something very disturbing about a man who only discovers his
sense of humor in life or death situations," I remark pointedly. He
doesn't reply because he's suddenly wracked by a series of those spasms
that he experienced yesterday. I can hear his rasping breathing, and
inarticulate chokes of pain. I think I'd sell my soul several times over
to be able to help him right now, but I can't do anything except allow him
to grip my hands in time to each spasm, nearly breaking the bones in my
fingers. Finally, the spasms pass, and he lies back weakly.
"How
about you?" I prompt desperately, trying to distract him from the pain.
"How did you think you'd end up dying?" Granted, it's perhaps not the best
topic of conversation to use as a distraction, but I'm improvising here.
"I
feel as if I already died once. In Vietnam. After that, every day has been
a bonus."
"Yeah.
But what I mean is, that I didn't think I'd end up dying here, lost, alone
and forgotten in some dark prison cell."
"Lost?
Maybe. Forgotten - with your record? I don't think so! And as for alone."
He kisses my hair. "Surely not that."
"No.
Maybe not."
We're
silent for a long time, then I hear footsteps in the corridor, and get up,
prepared to face the worst. The door is unlocked, and Saunders enters. He
could be a different man his demeanor is chilling; the sexual teasing has
gone to be replaced by a cold, ruthless, business-like killer.
"Cursory checks seem to confirm your story. I must say I did wonder
whether it wasn't all a ruse to save your lover." He looks at me sharply.
"But it would seem that I have as my guests, Special Agent Mulder and
Assistant Director Skinner of the FBI. You, in particular, Agent Mulder,
seem to have a very dubious reputation. If I had known earlier what
illustrious guests I was entertaining, I would have tried to make you feel
much more at home. I'm sure it can't have been easy sharing accommodation
at such close quarters, and play-acting your little love affair. Or was it
play-acting?" He tilts his head on one side, and gazes pointedly at the
fading bite-marks on my body.
"Cut
the crap," Skinner growls from the floor behind me. "Just tell us what
you're going to do with us."
"Do
with you?" Saunders doesn't look at Skinner; his intense, blue eyed gaze
is fixed on me. "I can tell you what I'd like to do with you…" His eyes
flicker over to the rack in the center of the room, "…for interrupting my
enjoyment and insinuating yourselves into our happy little community, like
a virus." He's snarling now, genuinely aggrieved by our interference. Like
psychos everywhere, he's shocked to find that he's subject to the same
laws as everyone else. "Would you like me to talk you through every
torment this device can deliver, Fox?" He hisses, grabbing hold of me by
the scruff of my neck, and dragging me over to the rack. "The straps would
hold you immobile. The gag would stop your screams." He pushes me against
the contraption, and I feel sick. "There are various ways in which this
can be used," Saunders informs us, waving his hand expansively.
"Personally I enjoy a little electricity." His hand rests lightly on a
small battery pack with leads running from it, culminating in two sets of
clamps. "Random current, differing in intensity," he informs me briskly.
"The clamps can be attached in a variety of different places on the body,
but I think here, might prove to be fun." He brushes a metallic clip
against one of my nipples and flicks a switch, sending a jolt of pain
searing through me. I jump back, screaming out loud.
"Of
course when you're tied into the rack, escaping from the pain is
impossible," he tells me, in that low intense voice. Skinner gets to his
feet, and lurches painfully over.
"Stop
this," Skinner says forcefully. "We're not scared, Saunders."
"He
is." Saunders nods his head in my direction, and he's right, I'm shaking.
"The question is, would it be better to strap him in, and make you watch,
or the other way around? The other tops like to visit the occupants of the
Zone, and with two such illustrious guests, I'm sure there would soon be a
queue outside the door. I imagine that they'd enjoy taking another top as
well, Mr. Skinner. Which would be the most distressing, I wonder -
watching the gang bang, or enduring it? We could tie one of you to the
wall, and make you watch while the other is raped. Repeatedly." I weigh up
the full horror of those two options, before deciding that watching would
be worse; like watching Sam flying out of my life forever, like watching
Scully in a hospital bed, dying. Powerless to help, unable to intervene
and save the people I care about most. Yes, it's definitely worse to stand
by and watch.
"Neither option is going to happen," Skinner says firmly. "You have no
intention of doing this, so you're just getting off on the power trip."
Saunders considers this for a moment and then, suddenly, the charm is back
in place, and he laughs, silkily. "You seem very sure, Assistant
Director," he murmurs.
"I am.
The way I see it, your only possible use for us now is as hostages."
Skinner shrugs. "You could kill us, or you could just clear out of here,
and leave us, but the fact that you haven't done either of those things
already, suggests that you've decided we have some value to you. I would
have said that puts us firmly in the category of business, not pleasure,
and I sense that you're not a man who likes to mix those two concepts. So
you won't hurt us. You need us."
"Quite
right," Saunders nods. "I intend to use your lives as a bargaining chip,
to arrange safe passage for myself to a country that doesn't have
extradition agreements with either Britain or the US. And you needn't
imagine that a rescue is imminent, because this place is very well hidden.
So, make yourselves at home." He waves his hand around expansively. "You
could be here for a very long time indeed."
And
with that he leaves us. Skinner sinks back down to the floor, leaning
exhausted against the wall, breathing heavily.
"How
does anyone get to be such a sick freak?" he asks me wearily.
"I
don't know. But I think you're being unfair to freaks. He's way beyond
that category." I move back from the rack, cautiously.
"People like him are the reason why I joined the FBI," he says. "I hate
them... I want to." His hands are balled into fists and, even in his
weakened condition, I can see the burning desire for justice in his eyes.
Shit, I love that about him. Sometimes when he's reading reports, and
sitting behind his desk holding meetings, it's hard to remember what the
man is really about. There have been times when I've been certain he's
been put on this earth for the sole purpose of making my life more
difficult. Okay, so I sometimes have a Muldercentric view of the universe,
and I'm convinced that everyone is out to make things hard for me. That's
just me. Paranoid's my middle name. But there are times when I've reduced
him to the status of "immovable object" to my "irresistible force", and,
to my shame, I've stopped seeing the man and the motives underneath. Not
now. I kneel down in front of him, and kiss him tenderly on the lips and
he lies there, startled.
"What's that for?" he asks when I draw back.
"Reminding me," I state cryptically, sitting between his legs, my back
pressed against his chest. He shifts to get into a more comfortable
position.
"Fox,
something's been bugging me," he murmurs.
"Hmm,
what's that?" I ask.
He
closes his arms around me, and I suddenly find that I can't move.
"What
did you have to offer Saunders in order to get that doctor?" he whispers.
I
stiffen, but I can't pull away from him, he's made sure of that.
"Nothing," I reply. "He wanted Matt to lose - he was happy to call in the
doctor. I didn't have to give him anything."
"Don't
lie to me, Fox." His voice is silky and dangerous next to my ear.
"I
discussed the whole thing with you at the time," I mutter.
"I was
unconscious at the time," he protests.
"That
doesn't mean I didn't discuss it with you."
"Mulder.
Just tell me," he insists.
"He
wanted to own me - not just in name. He wanted me to be his, and to do
that he had to break me - and he wanted to make me ask for that."
"And
did you?" His arms tighten even more.
"Yes."
There's silence for a long while.
"So
what happened to make him change his mind?" he whispers eventually.
"I
tried to strangle him."
"You
did what?" he asks incredulously.
"I
punched him, and tried to strangle him. See - I can fight."
"I've
never disputed your ability to throw punches right, left and center
whenever the mood takes you. That's not the same thing," he counters.
"However I'll happily concede defeat on this one, if, in the next breath,
you can tell me that the reason he let you go was because of your superior
fighting ability."
There
is another long silence. I see no reason why I should tell the truth about
this. He'd never find out.
"Well?" he asks.
"Oh,
all right, so he fought back, and I ended up handcuffed to the bed. Happy
now?"
"At
the thought of you handcuffed to someone else's bed? What do you think?"
he growls. "So, why did he let you go?"
"Because he knew he couldn't have what he really wanted."
"In
what sense?" He sounds genuinely puzzled, and I pause for a moment,
considering what to tell him, but we're locked up in a cell, and we're
very probably about to die. Maybe now is the right time to talk about
this. When the hell else will we get the chance?
"In
the sense that I couldn't really be his when I'm in love with you."
His
grip around my body loosens. "Love?" he mutters, stroking my arms.
"Didn't I mention that?" I twist and look at him but it's too dark to read
the expression on his face.
"Yeah,
okay, it's sappy, but under the circumstances I thought I should bring up
the "L" word, seeing as our situation is fairly hopeless and the outlook
bordering on bleak."
"Yes.
Bleak," he says thoughtfully. "Thank you." He kisses my hair again but he
doesn't say he returns my feelings, so I don't have a clue whether he does
or not. He just holds me tight, and at some point we drift off to sleep,
which is all there is to do, really.
"Well
isn't this a cute sight!" An incongruous voice wakes me. Someone small and
blonde is clapping his hands, and pointing at me. "Ooh, Mulder, you always
were a lucky bastard! Lying there in the arms of the divine Skinner! Don't
worry, I won't tell anyone." The face winks at me suggestively.
"Lenny?" I sit up, too quickly, my head spinning.
"That's right, honey, although you can just call me angel if you like. As
in "guardian", or "face of an". I'm not picky about which," he simpers at
me, helping me to my feet. "Ouch!" He catches sight of my still heavily
welted back. "Someone's been having fun with you, sweetie. I hope the
pleasure wasn't all one-sided!"
"Never
mind." I find myself flushing furiously, and he stares at me.
"You
know, I get the distinct impression that you've gotten a few things sorted
out, honey," he grins. I turn back to Skinner who is jerking awake, his
face confused.
"Lenny?" He squints through the darkness at our savior.
"That's my name. Don't wear it out!" Lenny pauses for a moment, and allows
his salacious gaze to travel over Skinner's naked, if somewhat bruised,
torso. "Mmmm. You do have good taste, Mulder," he whispers to me.
"Lenny, just shut up, and tell us what's happening," I growl, putting out
a hand to help Skinner up.
"Oh,
yeah. Sure. The macho boys are all in that big hall place with the sand,"
he says.
"The
Arena." I exchange a glance with Skinner.
"That's right," Lenny grins. "Agent Kendall was busy rounding them up when
I last saw him. Now, he's a guy who knows how to take charge," he sighs
dreamily.
"Lenny!" Skinner snaps.
"What?
Oh, yeah. So he was doing that, and the scary little red-haired woman was
charging around looking for you, Mulder." Lenny winks at me again.
"Scully's here?" I feel a sense of relief wash over me. Being reunited
with my best friend is exactly what I need right now. I want to see her
blue eyed gaze, hear that steady voice, and have her fuss over me. I could
really enjoy someone fussing over me after the few days I've just lived
through. Of course, I'd never let her know that. She fusses, I bat her
away - but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy it!
"And
meanwhile, I found a room with all these keys in it, so I thought I'd
wander around investigating. Do you have any idea how big this place is?"
He asks, as we push past him towards the door.
"Yes,
Lenny. We do," I murmur. "We've lived here for the past few days,
remember?"
"Oh.
Yeah." He runs to keep up with us, as Skinner discovers some remnants of
energy, and strides purposefully in the direction of the Arena. "Well,
it's amazing. If it weren't for the circumstances, I could really enjoy
myself in a place like this." He gives me a sideways grin, and nudges me
in the ribs. "I bet you enjoyed yourself just a teeny bit, Mulder," he
says with another wink. Shit, I'd forgotten just how irritating Lenny can
be.
"Lenny. Please. Shut up," I say desperately, hoping he doesn't talk like
this when Scully's around. I really can't handle her raised eyebrows and
tart comments on the subject right now.
"Aw,
now, you should be nice to me. I'm the reason you guys are free," he
pouts.
"You
are?" Skinner stops and turns around.
"Yeah.
Kendall's gorgeous, I'm not denying that," Lenny smirks, "but he's not
always very smart is he? He was doing all of this complicated search stuff
and database sifting type thingamajig. God, you could have still been here
at Christmas by the time he'd gone through all that stuff."
I give
Skinner a meaningful glance that he completely ignores. Lenny continues.
"Anyway, I got to thinking about Saunders, and asked around, and found out
that he's got a few "boys" he's friendly with, if you get my meaning. I
checked up on them and one was this doctor, Alec, or something."
"Adam?" I ask, in a tone of frank disbelief.
"Yeah
- that's the guy. Skinny, light-haired thing. Oh well, I staked his place
out for a day or so, and someone sent this limo for him, and I thought -
hello, what's this? An ER doctor with a chauffeur-driven limo? Yeah,
RIGHT! So I followed it for quite a way, before I lost it, then I told
Kendall where to start looking for it. It took me ages to persuade him
that it was worth a try. He kept going on about APB's, and 302's, and
SAC's, and all these other stupid initials until I could have screamed at
him. Actually, I think I did. Several times," Lenny grins. "And I'm really
good at screaming - I've had lots of practice. So, anyway, they found you
soon enough once I got them out here looking. Thank god I did because you
have no idea how isolated this place is. Could have taken them years to
find you," he rambles on quite happily until I shut him up by putting my
hand over his mouth.
"Thanks, Lenny. We owe you," I tell him. Skinner grunts sourly. I elbow
him sharply in the ribs.
"Yeah,
all right. We owe you. Thanks," he echoes grudgingly, as if it pains him
to say it. And I guess it does! All his best agents working on it, and
it's Lenny the airhead who shows the most initiative. He must be deeply
wounded. It gives me considerable pleasure to think about how often I'm
going to bring this subject up in the next few months.
"Mulder!"
We no sooner step inside the Arena than I find Scully hurtling towards me.
She throws her arms around me, sending a wave of pain shooting down my
back.
"Ow."
I disengage her gently. "Scully, am I ever glad to see you," I tell her,
grinning stupidly.
"Shit,
Mulder." She wrinkles her nose at me. "What's happened to you?" She takes
a step back, and looks me up and down. "Not that this isn't a good look
for you, but, oh god!" She examines the bites on me, and her eyes rake
over my scarred back. "Oh, Mulder. Are you all right?" I can guess what's
going through her mind. Kendall must have told her everything about these
guys, and the way they operate.
"I'm
fine, Scully," I tell her firmly.
"But…"
She can't take her eyes off the liberal marks on my body.
"Really. I am fine. It all looks worse than it is." My eyes search the
room anxiously for Skinner, but he's back in Assistant Director mode,
seeking out Kendall, rapping out orders, seemingly oblivious to his state
of undress.
"Lenny
- can you do me a favor?" I beckon him over. "Could you find us both a
shirt each? And some shoes, please?"
"Sure
thing, Mulder. I just lurve helping you FBI guys out. You're all so cute
and clueless." He rushes off as commanded, and returns a few minutes later
with the requested items. I shrug myself into the shirt, luxuriating in
the dignity it affords me, and slip the shoes on, then take the other
shirt over to Skinner. I help him into it absently while he continues both
briefing Kendall and listening to Kendall's own briefing, then I kneel
down, and tie his shoelaces for him. It's only when I finish doing this
that I notice the strange looks I'm getting and back away, flushing
furiously. What seemed like the most natural thing in the world during our
time in this place is a serious faux pas back in the Real World. It might
take some time to adjust back again.
"Right
- how many still unaccounted for?" Skinner is asking. Kendall looks down
at his notebook, which is crammed full of copious notes in neat
handwriting.
"Only
two. Most of them didn't even put up a fight," Kendall replies.
"So
much for the tough guy stuff," I mutter.
"And
we found about thirty in one of the rooms. They didn't even make a move,"
Kendall shrugs.
"They're the subs. They didn't know anything about the murders," I inform
Kendall.
"They'll all have to be taken in," Skinner says firmly. "I want everyone
thoroughly questioned. Mulder, have you made sure that the guy we saw a
few days ago, in the other cell in the Zone, is free?"
"Yeah
- it's the first thing I did. No sign of him - he must have been returned
to the slave pen at some point," I shrug.
"Good.
Kendall, I want those two missing men found. Now." He barks, and Kendall
scurries off.
I
catch sight of Saunders over the other side of the room, his arms
handcuffed behind his back. Something inside me just snaps, and I charge
over there.
"So,
Agent Mulder. It seems you got lucky after all," he murmurs, seemingly
undaunted by his situation, retaining that same air of dangerous elegance
that is his trademark.
"Yeah.
Looks like it. How does it feel to be the one in handcuffs for a change?"
I ask him. He smiles.
"How
does it feel to have discovered what you truly are?" he whispers, slyly.
"You should be thanking me, Fox, not taunting me. I'm guessing that you
and Assistant Director Skinner didn't, uh, consummate your delightful
passion before you came here?"
"You
can guess what you like," I spit back at him.
"Come
now, don't protest. I saw the bite marks on your body. You didn't make
those yourself. Isn't that taking undercover work just a bit too far?" he
smirks. I take great pleasure in sinking my fist deep into his stomach,
and he gasps, and drops to his knees. I pull him back up.
"My
words must have struck home to get that reaction." He hisses into my ear.
"Or was that for winning you, and nearly possessing you, Fox?"
"Oh
that wasn't for me," I snap back. "That was for him. And so is this." I
smash my fist sharply across his jaw, holding him still so that he can't
pull back, and a satisfying bruise rises quickly on his flesh. "That was
for making him fight when you could see that he was ill, and for calling
in your useless pet quack, and for having me pump him full of god knows
what drug, and...I could go on. I'm nowhere near settling this score yet."
I draw my fist back again, only to find it grasped from behind.
"Go
make yourself useful somewhere," Skinner hisses. "We'll all turn a blind
eye to those two, but no more. Now go."
"Your
self control is, as ever, enviable," Saunders grins at my boss. "And of
course I've always admired your handling of your hot-headed…" he pauses,
and his eyes rake over me gleefully, "…what shall I call him? Colleague?"
He imbues that word with as much sarcastic disbelief as possible.
"It's
over, Saunders." Skinner growls, not anywhere near being goaded by this
maniac low-life. "If I were you, I'd just shut up and keep your head down.
After what you've put us through during the past few days, you really
don't want to piss me off any more."
"My
dear Mr. Skinner," Saunders purrs. "What could you possibly do about it
legally if I chose not to keep my mouth shut? I have everything to gain,
and nothing to lose by telling the world about you and your pretty
colleague."
Skinner smiles, and it is the nastiest, most evil smile that I've ever
seen on his face. "You don't know anything, Saunders. And what makes you
think that anybody would believe scum like you?" He dips his head, and
speaks softly into Saunders's ear. "I would also advise you to ask
yourself if you'd really like to see me with nothing left to lose. I know
a lot of people, and I've earned a few favors over the years. I'd happily
call them in. Mulder may not be the only one inclined to express his
loyalty to me in such a... vehement way." He glances at my bruised
knuckles.
Saunders isn't a fool. He recognizes real-life authority when he sees it,
and his blue eyes flash angrily, but he closes his mouth, and doesn't say
another word. Skinner gives me an impatient look, and gestures with his
head for me to leave. I walk away, passing a handcuffed Matt. So that
bastard is still alive - it looks like "Mithras" didn't get his
sacrificial offering tonight after all. I just get to the door when I see
Skinner swaying in mid-conversation with Agent Roberts. I'm back beside
him in nanoseconds, one hand under his arm to stop him falling over.
"This
can wait. You need a doctor." I gesture to Scully; Skinner's eyes have
clouded over again, and I can see that he's having trouble focusing. I
hold his head between my hands, and try the finger trick again, but he's
dead on his feet, and can't follow it. "Kendall can wrap this up. It's
right up his alley. Lots of paperwork," I grin. "You're not needed here."
"Neither are you," Scully tells me tartly. "You both need a thorough
medical examination, and complete bed rest."
"Don't
count on it, Scully," I murmur, turning away to call Kendall over, and
tell him to finish everything up. "I think we've probably spent more than
enough time in bed." Luckily, she doesn't hear this, and five minutes
later we're on our way to the hospital.
We get
separated in the ER. Then next thing I know, he's been taken off to a
renal unit in a different hospital, and I'm discharged with pain killers
and some disapproving looks from the doctors concerning the nature of my
injuries. Scully sends me home and tells me that I am, under no
circumstances, to set foot in the Hoover building for the next three days
at least, and she's probably right, but we both know there's no way I'm
going to obey that order.
All
the same, it's a relief to open my apartment door and step inside. It
feels like a different life, a different place, a different time. If I
close my eyes, I can almost believe that none of it ever happened. Only,
the trouble is that there are some parts of it that I'm glad happened.
There are parts I want to re-live forever, and others that make me want to
scream, and permanently erase them from my memory. I take a shower,
remembering the shower I took with him, and feel the water washing away
the scent of Mithras, with its underground tunnels, and corridors, and
distinctive smells. It feels strange to put on my own clothes (hey!
underwear!), to feed my fish, to be sitting here, as if none of it ever
happened. Strange and curiously empty. I have no companion, nobody to hold
me, nobody to talk to, or spar with. I miss him. Now that both the danger,
and the dizzying sexual madness have passed, my adrenaline levels adjust
back down to normal, leaving me floundering in the worst low I've ever
experienced.
Exhausted, hungry, and lonely, I give in to the tears that want to claim
me as surely as he ever did, and my misery swamps me. I lie on the couch,
just crying, for endless long, empty hours.
When I
finally track him down, I am informed that he's in a "stable condition",
but he's not allowed visitors. Then Kendall needs my help, and anyway, I
want to make sure that my report is completed in order to nail Saunders,
and the other crazies as soon as possible. So, I end up returning to work
the following day, as Scully knew I would. She goes through the motions of
deep disapproval anyway, pursing her lips at me, shaking her head, and
giving me frosty looks every hour, on the hour, to make sure that I know
I'm not getting away with anything.
After
five hectic days of interviews, interrogations, report-writing, and
general cleaning up of details, I hear on the grapevine that he's been
released from hospital and told to recuperate at home for a few days. He
doesn't call, and I don't know what to do. Maybe it's best to let it drop,
and pretend that it never happened. Maybe it can all be put down to the
time spent in that crazy environment, a kind of madness. Maybe he's
convinced himself that was why it happened in the first place, and now
things are back to normal. Fuck, I don't know. I just know I miss him.
Predictably, he doesn't recuperate at home as instructed, and is back at
work the day after his release from hospital. I only see him once, in the
corridor, and he's looking better. The bruises on his face have almost
faded, although I could still point out where each one was; I don't think
I'll ever forget. He nods at me as he passes, deep in discussion with
Kendall. A nod? Is that all I'm worth to the guy now?
Fuck,
but I'm not sure whether I hate him or love him at this moment. He's Mr.
Repressed, back-in-his-box, A.D. Skinner and I want to scream at him, only
I'm sure I'd just see incomprehension and steely self control in those
dark eyes of his if I did.
The
following day, he summons the whole team to a de-briefing, and goes over
the report that he has written, along with the one that I have supplied.
Oddly, both are missing some fairly salient details. I can't think why.
The meeting is a new kind of torment. He is his normal workplace self
again. I see no flashes of the man I came to know so intimately; the one
who claimed me and held me. The man whose sense of humor asserted itself
at the most bizarre and inappropriate times, whose fascinating depths were
revealed to me layer by layer, as we were stripped of everything but our
most basic selves. The man with the strangely compelling habit of roaring
like a tiger at the moment of orgasm, to say nothing of possessing a
dazzlingly arousing body odor, is totally absent. I try to put these
thoughts out of my head as he sits there, looking as grim and businesslike
as usual, but it's hard. He doesn't even look at me. It's as if I mean
nothing to him, and maybe I do.
I'm
surprised to see Lenny at the briefing. He's looking gorgeous, resplendent
in a flowing white shirt and tight dark jeans, his blonde curls flowing
loose down his neck. This is his 'Lenny-the-romantic-hero' look, and he
plays the part for all it's worth.
"Lenny, I just wanted to thank you personally." Skinner nods at him. "For
all your help on this case." He glances coolly at Kendall who suddenly
finds his own shoes of particular interest.
"That's okay, Mr. Skinner, sir," Lenny beams. "I was glad to be of help.
You FBI guys, you're all so strong, and tough, and clever, but sometimes
you forget it's all about people, you know. Too many of those fancy
databases, and not enough rubbing shoulders with the little guys, like me.
I know what some of you boys thought of me when Mulder first brought me in
on this. I may be small but I'm cute, and cute can get answers too." I
think it's very likely that he'd go on forever, but Skinner has allowed
him his moment of glory, and interrupts smoothly.
"Well,
thanks again, Lenny. We'll remember that in future." He nods gravely as if
he's been given some very sage advice and scribbles something on his
notepad. I can just imagine it reading something like:
"Note
to self: New FBI directive. Instruct agents to be cute at all times. Cute
is good, cute gets results. Initiate new "cute offensive" and investigate
sending all agents on 'discovering the cute you' course."
I'm so
busy with that reverie that I completely miss his next question.
"…Mulder?"
He's staring at me. So is everyone else in the room.
"Sorry, sir?" I blink and smile weakly. He frowns.
"I was
asking where your medical data is. You were writing up that report with
Agent Scully?"
"Yes
sir. Um, that's not finished." I can't stop my eyes traveling over the
massive expanse of white dress shirt, wondering what it would be like to
undo the dark tie, unbutton the shirt, slowly, maybe starting at the
cuffs, or perhaps at the neck, or be daring, and go straight for his
pants, bypassing the shirt altogether.
"Why
not?" he asks.
"Because I had to complete the other report. And I was busy compiling the
data from the interviews. I didn't have time to do everything," I tell him
resentfully.
"Get
it done," he tells me brusquely.
"Yeah,
well give me more than 24 hours in the day, and I'll work faster," I
mutter insolently.
His
head snaps up at that, and he glares at me, making me wish I hadn't
spoken.
"24
hours is exactly how long you've got," he tells me, a look of thunder on
his face. I bite back another smart response, and notice Lenny glancing
from me to Skinner. A feeling of deja-vu descends on me like a black
cloud, making me even more depressed.
Finally, after another excruciating half-hour, the meeting is over. I get
up to leave with the rest of them, but he calls me back.
"Not
you, Mulder. I want a word with you."
"Sir?"
I sit down in the chair opposite his desk, wondering what will happen
next. Damn, but this is as bad as being back at Mithras. Everything is out
of my control, and dependent upon the actions of someone else.
"I'm
putting a commendation on your file as a result of your work on this one,"
he tells me, his expression not lightening for a second. "You put yourself
in a position of great personal danger in order to solve this case, and
that should be recognized. Your observations were, as always, correct, and
your hunches panned out with unerring accuracy."
"Thank
you, sir," I murmur, knowing that I put him in as much danger as I put
myself, and not feeling particularly proud of that.
"I'm
also putting a reprimand on your file as well." He pauses, and sighs.
"Probably the first time someone has been issued with both for the same
case, but I suppose it was inevitable it would happen to you at some
point. I don't dispute your brilliance, Agent Mulder, but your judgement
can be called into question on a number of occasions, and I refuse to turn
a blind eye to your blatant disregard for Bureau procedures, including,
and most particularly, the chain of command."
He
glares at me meaningfully and then proceeds to give me the most thorough
chewing out of my entire career, in a flat, monotone voice, completely
devoid of anything like those sexy, erotic, command tones he used on me
back at Mithras. I struggle between wanting to lose my temper with him,
and accepting that most of what he is saying is probably true. My mind
goes back to that deal we made when I was wallowing in guilt before the
last fight, and I decide on the latter course. He did, after all, nearly
die because of me. I haven't forgotten that. I feel so deflated that I
almost wish I was facing a life in the slave-pen and not back in the
basement, although, thinking about it, maybe there's not that much
difference.
"Do
you have anything to say?" He asks me when he's finished.
"No."
I shrug. "You seem to have covered everything with your usual attention to
detail. Sir." I imbue that last word with as much rebellion as I can
muster, and it doesn't go unnoticed. The expression in his dark eyes is
furious.
"Very
well. You're dismissed then, Agent Mulder."
That's
it? Just dismissed? No, ‘Let's make wild passionate love on my desk, Agent
Mulder’? No ‘Get your clothes off, and get over here, Fox.’? No ‘Thank you
for your personal services, and the stunning use to which you put your
tongue during this mission, Agent Mulder.’?
I
leave his office consumed by a maelstrom of misery and only just manage to
stop myself slamming the door on my way out. So that's the way it's going
to be. Well fuck him. Fuck him! He clearly wants to put the whole mess
behind us and move on. My feelings are probably far more profound than his
anyway. He just felt frustrated and aroused by that massage I gave him,
lost control, and now regrets his impulsive actions. That's fair enough.
He never exactly talked about a relationship" after all. I was the one who
brought up the "L" word, and I could kick myself for that now. It all
seems so different when you're staring death in the face.
I kick
open the door to my office, still muttering to myself, to find Lenny
sitting in my chair, swinging around in it, and whistling to himself.
"Hey
buddy!" he grins.
"Lenny. You shouldn't be here. You're not allowed to just wander around
the building on your own, it's against the rules," I tell him coldly,
finding my file of medical data, and flicking through it to see how much
more work it needs.
"Oh
well, you know what they say about rules," Lenny winks. "They're made to
be broken. Hey, you should know that, Mulder. It's your motto isn't it?"
"No.
My motto is 'trust no one'. Now what do you want, Lenny?"
"You
can trust me," he pouts. "And I wanted to know what the hell is going on
between you and the divine love god of the upper floors."
"And
who would that be?" I glare at him.
"Oh
come on, buddy! This is Lenny you're talking to!" He shakes his head. "The
sexual tension whizzing between you two in that meeting had enough sparks
to blow up large buildings. What is it with you guys? I thought you'd
sorted everything out."
"It
wasn't sexual tension," I tell him through gritted teeth. "It was
professional tension. Subtle difference."
"Looked like the same old U-S-T to me," he grins. "Unresolved Sexual
Tension," he explains, upon seeing my blank look. "See, this initials
stuff is catching. Must be something about this building. Now tell me,
Fox, honey - you did sleep with the guy, right?"
"What?" I frown, still pretending to look through the file.
"Oh,
you don't need to worry about me. I'm as discreet as they come. Hand on
heart." He places his hand over the pocket of his flowing white shirt to
illustrate the point.
"Somehow I doubt that," I tell him. "You don't exactly strike me as the
secretive type, Lenny."
"Aw,
you can tell your bestest friend in the whole world," Lenny wheedles.
"Lenny, since when have you been my best friend?" I demand.
"I
don't see anyone else competing with me for the job. Maybe there's a
vacancy." He smiles and leans back in the chair, putting his feet on the
desk. "So anyway, I think you need some advice from Uncle Lenny. Who else
is gonna help you, huh? Did you tell the scary little red-head about any
of this?"
"No,
of course not," I hiss.
"Ah,
so there is something to tell?" He isn't gloating; his expression is
genuinely concerned. With a sigh I sit down on the edge of my desk and
shake my head.
"I
don't know what to do about it, Lenny," I tell him, wretchedly. "Since we
got back, he hasn't said a word to me about, you know, everything."
"Well,
have you said anything to him?" Lenny asks. I shake my head, and Lenny
groans and rolls his eyes around. "Clueless. I thought as much. You FBI
guys are just so dumb. I'm gonna sort this out, right now." He charges out
of the basement and along the corridor before I can stop him.
"Lenny!" I shout frantically. "Lenny stop! Oh shit!"
He
slips into the elevator just as the door closes, smiling sweetly at me,
and leaving me pounding pointlessly on the door. I have no doubts as to
where he's going. Shit, fuck, shit! I make for the stairs, flying up them
three at a time, and crash through the door to Kimberley's office just in
time to see Lenny march past her, and open the door to Skinner's lair. I
sink down in one of the chairs, burying my head in my knees.
"Will
you be at home tonight, about 8pm?" Lenny asks my astonished boss.
"Uh,
yeah. I suppose," I hear him reply, obviously taken aback.
"Good.
Make sure that you are. Expect a nice little package, special delivery
from me at that time. I don't want to find out tomorrow that it had to sit
out all cold and lonely on your doorstep all night."
Lenny
closes the door again, and grins at me, giving me a thumbs-up signal.
"We're cooking, Mulder!" he laughs, dragging me back out of Kimberley's
office. Kimberley watches us go with a resigned shrug. She's used to me
bursting into Skinner's office, making a scene. Lenny's just a variation
on a familiar theme to her.
"I am
not doing this," I tell Lenny as he sits in my apartment later that
evening, poking his finger into my fish tank curiously.
"Do
they bite? Of course you're doing it, Mulder." He flicks the water
experimentally. "Faint heart never won fair sex god," he grins. "I should
know. Sometimes you just have to take the initiative."
"He
knows where I live. He could have phoned me," I mutter resentfully.
"Oh,
who cares?" Lenny wipes his fingers on his jeans. "Just get over there,
and point your bottom lip at him, honey. Bet it takes him about three
seconds to melt. Are you going to wear that?" He glances at my work suit
suspiciously, but I have no intention of changing, and anyway, jeans might
look like a proposition after Mithras.
"I'm
not changing," I growl.
"Oh
all right. If it works you won't be wearing anything for long." He grins,
then gets hold of me, and bundles me out of the door. "Deep breaths, baby.
Trust your Uncle Lenny. It'll all work out for the best in the end."
We
manage to get to Skinner's apartment block, but I get a sudden attack of
nerves in the elevator.
"This
is stupid, Lenny. He's made it quite clear that he doesn't want anything
more to do with me. It was just that place, those people, all the danger.
We both lost it. We've got our careers to think about. This is never going
to work. He's going to tell me all this, he's going to tell me to leave."
I hold onto the elevator doors, and Lenny pries each of my fingers open,
and then smacks my hands away.
"Mulder,"
he says firmly. "Do as I say, and nobody will get hurt. Not unless they
want to be anyhow," he winks knowingly. "Now move!" He shoves me from
behind.
"For a
little guy with a taste for being submissive, you really know how to be
tough," I grunt at him.
"Oh,
Mulder, for a clever guy, you sure can be dense. I don't know what goes on
in that supersonic brain of yours sometimes." He rolls his eyes. "It's
about getting what you want, not about being weak. And I am tough. Very.
Now come on." He drags me along the corridor to Skinner's door, and I
hesitate, holding my hand up, unable to knock. Shit, I've been here before
and it was always so easy. You just rap your knuckles against the door.
Simple. Why can't I do it now?
"I
can't," I moan, leaning my head on the door.
"Uncle
Lenny to the rescue." Lenny takes the decision away from me by knocking
sharply on the door before I can stop him.
"I'm
going," I start to turn, and Lenny lunges for my neck, hangs on, and stops
me bodily by placing his feet on mine. That's when the door is opened.
"Special delivery for you. The nice, little package as promised," Lenny
says, patting my ass. He thrusts me past a bemused Skinner, and through
the open door, before skipping off down the corridor, and leaving us to
it.
I feel
like I've been abandoned in a lion's den. This is worse than being trapped
at Mithras. I stand there helplessly in the hallway, swallowing
convulsively.
"I'm
sorry. I shouldn't have come," I mutter to him weakly. He's still dressed
in his work suit as well. White shirt, dark tie. Immaculate as ever. And
the expression on his face would make many a grown man quake. I watch him
slam the door shut behind me, and I flinch. He advances on me, his eyes
dark, and I back away from him, nervously. Then, without any warning, I
find myself pinned against the wall, his arm across my chest, his hand in
my hair as he kisses me savagely. My nervous terror evaporates, and with
it goes all the strength in my legs. Luckily, he's holding me up. I dangle
there for a second, his mouth pressed urgently against mine, sucking all
the life out of me, his tongue thrusting into me passionately.
"Hello, Mulder. Nice to see you, Mulder," I murmur pointedly when he lets
me draw breath.
"I'm
not very good with words," he grins, that feral grin I've never seen at
the office.
"You
were good enough with them this afternoon," I point out.
"That
was different. This is personal. God, I've been stuck in a hospital for a
week thinking about nothing else but you." His hands are running over my
body like he's some sort of starving animal that's been deprived of food.
"You
have? Why didn't you call?" I ask.
"Why
didn't you visit?" he counters.
"They
wouldn't let me. Then Kendall wanted me to - oh hell, it doesn't matter. I
wasn't sure where I stood."
"I
don't want you standing anywhere." He sucks my neck, then propels
me up the stairs, and into the bedroom. "I've missed you," he whispers,
closing the door behind us, and coming to stare into my eyes.
"Then
why didn't you say anything? I thought it was over," I whimper, as his
fingers gently caress my neck.
"I
wasn't sure how to handle it. I've never been in this situation before. I
didn't want you thinking I'd exploited you," he says, holding my face in
his hands, and kissing my throat.
"Exploited me how?" I gasp.
"You
were vulnerable at Mithras. You were dependent upon me for everything
there. You weren't even allowed to feed yourself, couldn't defend
yourself. I was always cast as the conquering hero who had to fight to
save you from sexual predators, right and left. After we were rescued, I
started to wonder if you felt as though you had any real choice in what
had happened between us. For all I knew, you had started to hate my guts
for it. That was the impression I had in that meeting earlier today. Then,
when Lenny barged into my office, well, after figuring out that you were
the "nice, little package" he was referring to, I was pretty damn pleased.
I went out shopping especially for the occasion." He nods at his bedside
table, where I can see a tube of lubricant, and a whole king-sized box of
condoms.
"What,
no sex toys?" I berate, allowing him to lick down the side of my neck. "No
whips, gags, chains, or handcuffs? I've come to expect the full works you
know."
"Your
call." His hands are urgent on my body, caressing me all over. "I don't
need any of it, but if you want to experiment, buy whatever turns you on,
and we'll see what we can do with it. Safely."
"Sounds good to me, sir." I feel a warmth spread inside me at his words,
because they imply that this is something that's going to last, something
on-going, not just a series of wild and unrestrained sexual encounters.
Although I hope there'll be plenty of them too.
"You
can't keep calling me 'sir'. You call me that at work." He gently strokes
his hands down the sides of my arms and I reach out to undo his tie, then
the top button of his shirt. "Call me Walter. Or Master," he grins.
"What?" I growl, distracted momentarily from the sheer pleasure of easing
him out of one of his dazzlingly white shirts, and finding the honeyed
flesh underneath.
"Depending on what sort of mood you're in. I know what you're like." His
grin widens. "Speaking of work…" His face immediately grows serious again,
"…We need to think up some ground rules on that. I won't be showing you
any special favors."
"I
wouldn't ask for any." I shake my head.
"Good.
Then it's like I said back at Mithras. Work at work - we keep this stuff
for our off duty hours. I don't want you confusing the two. Stop that." He
swats my insistent, fumbling hands away from his shirt.
"But I
want to."
"I
know. You can't. I had something else in mind for tonight."
"Oh
yeah?" I challenge, luxuriating in the scent of Eau de Skinner as it wafts
over me, overwhelming me with its raw, sexual pheromones.
"Yeah." He pauses, looking stupid.
"Well?" I prompt.
"Well,
uh, like I said, I'm uh, not very good with words, and all this personal
stuff. You know, the emotional crap." He's flushing a peculiar shade of
red. "You know, back, um, in the Zone, you said something that, uh meant a
lot to me, and I wanted to…shit. Look, I'll show you instead. Close your
eyes," he whispers.
I do
as commanded, and hold my breath as he walks behind me. Then I feel his
arms cross in front of my chest, and he undoes my tie, loosening it
slowly, sensuously, before pulling it out from my collar. I can feel his
cheek pressed against mine as he works, the smoothness of his bare scalp
against my hair, and the side of my face. His lips are on the back of my
neck as he unbuttons my shirt, slowly, button by button. His fingers tease
my flesh as he goes, and my cock pulses into life. He gently pushes the
shirt down my back, allowing it to fall to the floor. Then he kneels down
in front of me, unties my shoes, and helps me to step out of them, before
peeling off my socks.
"There's no danger here, Fox," he whispers, standing behind me again, his
hands on my pants, unbuttoning them. "Just you and me. No psychopaths,
nobody telling us how to run our sex life. You can relax now. We're safe."
His
words are soothing, caressing me, turning me on. I sigh, and lean back
against his chest, luxuriating in the feel of that cool shirt against my
bare skin. He unzips me, and then pushes my pants slowly down my thighs,
his mouth traveling down my back as he goes, ending up at my butt.
"Step
out of them," he whispers and I obey, lost in an erotic world I don't ever
want to leave. Then I can feel his fingers in my boxers, tracing their way
around the waistband, dipping down towards my cock, gently playing with my
balls, making me gasp.
"Oh
god," I moan, leaning back into him even more. He takes my weight on his
hips and chest, his mouth still exploring the back of my neck and my hair.
Then his fingers twine in the fabric of my boxers and they follow the rest
of my clothing onto the floor, leaving me standing there, naked.
"Keep
your eyes closed," he whispers, and then he guides me onto the bed, and
pushes me down onto it.
He
disappears and, a moment later, he returns, and rolls me onto my front.
"Make sure you keep them closed," he murmurs, and my cock immediately gets
even harder at his tone. I feel his fingers on my shoulders, sliding down
my back, massaging me with oil. "I wanted to return the favor," he
whispers. "Keep still."
Either
he's an expert in personal massage, or just being touched by him is a
sensory delight. Either way, those blunt fingers find every last muscle in
my body, caressing me with long, sensuous strokes until I'm abandoned to a
place of total bliss. Finally he kisses my fingers and my arms, then down
my back, lingering on my butt, before ending up at the soles of my feet,
and the gesture isn't lost on me. I remember doing this to him, turning
that massage I gave him into an expression of the love I didn't dare to
vocalize. That's when I realize what he's doing and, abandoning all
pretense of being macho, I have to report that it turns me into a
quivering sap.
He
rolls me over and starts on my chest, down over my abdomen, ignoring my
swollen, eager, cock and ending up once more at my feet. Then he gently
massages my face, and his fingers probe my scalp for endless blissful
moments. When he finishes, it's very likely that I've been transported to
Mulderheaven. I open my eyes, and kiss his forehead and his nose and his
mouth, repeating his response to me after I massaged him a couple of weeks
ago to show him that I understand the message. Then I pull him closer,
wanting him to devour me as he did that first time we made love.
"No,
not tonight. You see, I wanted to show you…I, uh, can make love without
going completely nuts you know," he mutters, looking shamefaced.
"I
like it when you go nuts," I protest.
"Yeah.
But I need to show you what it's like when I'm gentle, so you have
something to compare it with," he grins.
"I
don't need anything to compare it with. I haven't complained before have
I?" I grumble.
"Not
until now, no," he says, shaking his head. "But you're going to enjoy
this, so just do as you're told. Lie still. I still want to own you, to
consume you." He grins wickedly as he says those words. "But in a
different way. Give yourself up to me, Fox."
"Like
I don't want to," I grin, and he slides down behind me, his hands
caressing my flesh.
"Relax
completely," he orders. He runs his oiled fingers lightly over my butt,
and then pushes them inside me, slowly, teasingly. I find myself moaning
as he inserts another finger, and massages inside me, finding my prostate
and making me gasp and buck against him with the pleasure. He brings me to
the point of climax with that slow, teasing, massage, and then removes his
fingers, leaving me trembling on the brink. He lifts me up gently.
"Undress me. Slowly. Like you said you would," he whispers and my
nerveless fingers fumble with his shirt, my lips finding all the fading
bruises and cuts on his body, the faint marks on the inside of his elbow
where he must have been attached to a drip in the hospital. I undo his
belt and his pants, and he's kissing my hair all the time as I slowly push
them down his body, and find his cock. I want to take it in my mouth, but
he stops me.
"No."
He strokes my hair, gently disengaging me, and kicks the remains of his
clothing onto the floor.
"I
want to." I start protesting again but again he stops me.
"Sssh…just
do as I say." He pushes me back, unresisting, onto the bed, and I give a
squeal of pure sensory delight as I feel him take my cock into his mouth.
He's never done this before, and it's exquisite, like being wrapped in
dark, warm, liquid chocolate.
"Oh
fuck." I thrust up against him. "Shit…can I come?" I ask. His mouth
gently, softly, slides back up my shaft to the tip, and he rolls his
tongue over it, giving it a lazily flick that makes me shudder.
"Any
time you want," he whispers, before returning to the task. It doesn't take
long. Another 10 seconds and I come in his throat, hearing a deep,
rumbling chuckle emanate from him as I do so. Then he takes hold of my
hand, and guides it down to his thick, hard, cock. "Do you want me inside
you?" He asks throatily.
"Ask a
stupid question," I choke. He rolls me onto my stomach, and I expect to
feel his hard cock against my ass, so I'm taken by surprise by his warm
tongue as it separates my butt cheeks, and licks inside me.
"Oh
GOD!" He works for several minutes, dipping into me, his tongue sliding
around, until I'm hard again. Nobody has ever done this to me before, and
it's breathtaking. "You could have warned me," I gasp in protest as he
finishes by licking his way up my spine to the base of my neck.
"I
didn't specify which part of me I was going to put inside you. It’s not
like you to make assumptions based on ambiguous data, Agent Mulder. Or is
it?" he grins.
"Bastard, bastard, bastard." I mutter, but that last "bastard" turns into
a high pitched squeak as his hand closes around my stiffening cock.
"Don't
call me names when I have a sensitive part of your anatomy in my hand." He
rubs my cock gently with his thumb until it's fully erect again. "You see,
that's what I like about you, Fox. Totally rampant. Do you think that you
can come on command?" he whispers silkily. "I'd like that."
"I'm
not sure," I pant, as his fingers move faster and harder over my cock.
"We'll
try it and see. Of course, in the bedroom, unlike at work, I expect you to
at least try to be obedient."
His
strokes are pumping me, and I sense him maneuvering with his free hand to
find a condom. He opens it with his teeth, slides it onto his cock, and
then wipes lube onto it, all the while maintaining that steady pressure on
my cock with his other hand. God, he's good at this! "Gently," he
whispers, and I can feel his cock gliding into my ready, waiting ass;
smoothly, without pain. He's warm within me, stretching me sensuously with
his long, slow thrusts, like a lazy cat, taking his time, and all the
while that insistent caress is bringing me to the brink of orgasm again.
"Faster. Harder," I pant, and he slows down to almost nothing, his cock
barely moving within me, his hand just wafting along my dick, totally
languid. "Damn it, I said harder," I moan, pressing myself back against
him.
"Yeah,
I heard you. Isn't it good, holding back, wanting more, trembling,
waiting?" He nuzzles the side of my neck.
"Oh
yeah, it's good." He's right about the trembling. I can feel my whole body
convulsing with the need to climax, and the teasing, nudging, maddening
slowness of his cock and hand.
"Do
you like it slow?" He grinds his thighs against my butt in a dizzying
circular motion that makes me break into a sweat.
"Yes.
Oh yes! YES!" I scream, desperate for my orgasm.
"I
said you would. You should listen to me more often." His fingers tip-toe
along my shaft, and his cock shifts inside me. I can feel my muscles
clenching on it, milking him, but still he retains that control, holding
on, not thrusting, just moving gently. Maybe he is superhuman after all.
"Now,
are you ready to come?" His fingertips are like gossamer on my cock.
"No,
more, more, please," I beg.
"One
more thing we might like to re-cap on," he whispers, barely touching me.
"Who is it you belong to?"
"You!"
His
hand suddenly closes around my penis, giving one long, hard caress at the
same time as his cock angles up in a quick thrust against my prostate.
"Now,"
he says, and I can't believe it when I find myself spurting out on cue. He
bellows with laughter, holding me close, and continues his slow,
effortless thrusting until he also reaches climax, but he's so tightly
controlled that he doesn't shout his sexual release this time. He
withdraws gently, holds me tight, and kisses my sweaty neck. He’s so
gentle, so loving, and I know that he’s poured all of his being into
making love to me tonight. It feels so good to be wrapped up in his arms
and, as I lie there, lost in him, I remember that moment when we were in
the Zone and I told him I loved him and he just thanked me and said
nothing about how he felt about me; and that’s when it hits me that he’s
just made his reply, delivering it in the only way he feels comfortable
with.
"I'll
accept that in your case actions can speak louder than words," I murmur.
"But one day, I may have to make you actually say it."
He
gives a little laugh and kisses the back of my neck. "Maybe I will. One
day," he replies.
The End
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