Damage: 10. Defences Part Two

 

 

McGee scurried out of the observation room and met Gibbs in the hallway.

“Gianni Marconi,” Gibbs spat at him. “I want everything we’ve got on him on my desk by first thing tomorrow morning.”

“On it, Boss!” McGee said.

“Coffee,” Gibbs growled. “I need coffee,” and then he was gone.

McGee didn’t blame him. McGee had already heard Tony’s version of events, but hearing it from Quinn’s point of view had been something else – like he’d had a ringside seat at some sick and perverted circus. He wondered how on earth Tony had come through it even halfway as sane as he was. So many little details about Tony’s personality made much more sense to him now.

McGee placed a security officer outside the door to the interrogation room and returned to the squad room. He wasn’t expecting Gibbs back any time soon. It hadn’t been easy listening to any of Quinn’s testimony, and Gibbs was the kind of man who needed occasional time-outs in order to cool down. He hoped Gibbs wasn’t pounding his fist into any walls, but it wouldn’t surprise him if he was.

McGee called Abby and told her to keep Tony out of the office for another couple of hours. Abby sounded as if she relished the mission, and he suspected that she and Ducky would take Tony to a movie.

McGee settled down to start finding out what he could about Gianni Marconi. It wasn’t easy; the guy had a military service record and a sporadic job history. He had a few minor convictions for petty crime – and then he just seemed to disappear off the radar. McGee dug around for a couple of hours, becoming increasingly frustrated. He didn’t want to be the one to tell Gibbs that one of Tony’s abusers was untraceable. He knew that Gibbs wouldn’t rest until he had brought all these men to justice.

Ziva returned some time later with a posse of agents, each of whom came bearing boxes. The agents piled the boxes on her desk and the surrounding area, and then she dismissed them. McGee suspected that she’d enjoyed her time in charge a little too much.

“This is what you found in Quinn’s storage locker?” he asked, getting up to take a look at the boxes. “Wow – that’s a hell of a lot of evidence. Well done, Ziva.”

He couldn’t help but notice the little spike of pride that flared in her eyes.

“Thank you, McGee.” She took off her NCIS cap and scratched her head. “I would feel happier if I had not seen what these boxes contain though,” she sighed.

“I know the feeling,” he said sympathetically, patting her shoulder. “I had to work my way through all those photographs, remember?”

She nodded and then glanced around. “Where is Tony?”

“Abby and Ducky took him out for a late lunch.”

“A very late lunch,” she grinned, glancing at her watch.

“Well, Gibbs was bringing Quinn back, and he didn’t want Tony anywhere in the building.”

“Understandable. Has he finished interrogating Quinn?”

“Not yet – he’s taking a break,” McGee grimaced. “It isn’t easy listening to that man talk. The inside of his brain must be…” He shook his head, disgusted.

“I know. I have seen a glimpse of it.” Ziva gestured to the boxes.

At that moment a tall, authoritative man exited the elevator and strode into the squad room. Ziva straightened up and stepped forward.

“Ah – Officer David – we meet again. Where is Agent Gibbs?” the man demanded. There was something familiar about him, and McGee stiffened as he realised who he must be.

“I believe he is interrogating a suspect right now, Mr. DiNozzo,” Ziva replied.

“I want to see him,” DiNozzo said. He was a little like Gibbs. Very imposing and sure of himself – he was someone who was used to barking out orders and having them obeyed.

“Agent Gibbs does not like to be disturbed when he is in interrogation,” Ziva told him firmly.

“I don’t care what the hell Agent Gibbs *likes*,” DiNozzo snapped. “You weren’t very helpful earlier, Officer David, but I’ve made a few calls and found out what the charges are. I can tell you, right now, that Roy simply isn’t capable of what he’s been accused of.”

“Really?” McGee raised an eyebrow. “We haven’t met, but I’m Agent McGee. I’m assuming you’re Alessandro DiNozzo? Tony’s father?”

“Yes, I am. Now where the hell is Agent Gibbs?”

McGee exchanged a glance with Ziva. “Officer David is right – he really hates being interrupted in interrogation. Who let you come up here by the way? Security is usually pretty tight and…”

“I know a few people, Agent McGee. I pulled some strings.”

“I bet you did,” McGee muttered.

At that moment, the elevator door opened and there was a sound of happy laughter and chatter as Ducky, Abby, and Tony stepped into the squad room. McGee winced at the bad timing. Tony was laughing at something Abby had just said, and then he looked up – and everything seemed to slow down.

McGee saw the exact moment that Tony came face to face with his father. The smile on Tony’s face faded, the colour drained from his face, and he came to a complete standstill. Beside him, Abby and Ducky kept on walking for another couple of paces before realising that something was wrong, and then they turned back, with puzzled frowns.

“Dad,” Tony said quietly.

“Tony – thank God! I’ve been trying to contact you, but your co-worker prevented it.” DiNozzo glared at Ziva, and then turned his attention back to Tony. “Do you know anything about these accusations against Roy?” he asked. “They’re talking about him possessing child pornography and abusing children. Do you know anything about that?”

Tony’s put up a hand and rubbed his cheek repeatedly, making the skin redden. McGee remembered how his father had slapped him there when he’d tried to tell him about the abuse.

“Yeah,” Tony muttered, so quietly that McGee could hardly hear him.

“Then I need you to speak to this Agent Gibbs person and tell him that he’s got it wrong.”

Tony gave a wry snort and shook his head. “Even if that was the way it worked – and, trust me, if you knew Gibbs you’d know it isn’t – I can’t do that, Dad.”

DiNozzo frowned. “Come on, Tony – there must be something you can do. This is your Uncle Roy we’re talking about here – we have to help him. You must know these accusations aren’t true.”

Tony’s entire body was stiff, his face white. “I’m sorry, Dad, but they are true,” he said quietly.

DiNozzo was startled. “What makes you so sure?”

“Because I made them, Dad.”

There was a shocked silence. McGee looked from Tony to his father and back again, holding his breath. DiNozzo looked as if he was having trouble understanding what was going on.

“What do you mean?” he said eventually, in a confused voice. “Why the hell would you do that, Tony?”

“I tried to tell you about it,” Tony said helplessly.

Realisation showed on DiNozzo’s face. “You mean…are you talking about what you said to me in my study that time? But that was a lie…you were lying…”

“It wasn’t a lie,” Tony muttered, his voice almost inaudible.

“What?” DiNozzo barked.

Tony took a deep breath, and spoke more firmly this time. “I said it wasn’t a lie, Dad. Roy abused me when I was a kid.”

His father looked around the room. “Is there anywhere private we can go?” he demanded in a taut voice. “I don’t know what the hell is going on here, but I want to talk to you without all these onlookers.”

“No.” Tony shook his head. “I don’t want to be alone with you right now, Dad.”

“Oh, for God’s sake…”

DiNozzo took an angry step forward, and McGee moved between him and Tony instinctively, without even thinking about it. Ziva did the same. Looking back, over his shoulder, he saw that Abby had slipped her hand into Tony’s, and Ducky had placed one hand protectively on Tony’s shoulder. DiNozzo would have to go through four people to get anywhere near Tony.

DiNozzo pulled up short, looking stunned. It was clear that he was completely bemused. None of this tallied with his world view, and he simply couldn’t take it onboard.

“Tony, you’re asking me to believe that Roy – Roy of all people – would do something like that to my son?”

“Yes,” Tony said simply.

“Do you have proof?” DiNozzo asked. Anger blazed in Tony’s eyes.

“You need proof? You’re saying that my word isn’t good enough? You don’t *believe* me?”

McGee knew how important it was to Tony that he was believed, and, most of all, believed by this man standing here. Gibbs had believed him, implicitly, without question, but his own father either wouldn’t or couldn’t.

“If you want proof, we have proof, Mr. DiNozzo,” Ziva interrupted, in a silkily dangerous tone of voice. “I have just returned from that storage unit Roy Quinn was renting – the one I told you about. Would you like to know what I found there?”

DiNozzo frowned and turned towards her as she walked over to the boxes on her desk. McGee glanced over at Tony and saw his eyes radiating panic.

“Ziva…no,” McGee began, but it was too late. She had opened up one of the boxes and picked up a file with ‘Tonio’ written neatly on the top. McGee made a move to intercept it, but DiNozzo had already wrapped his hand around it. McGee glanced back at Tony with a wince. His knuckles were white where he was squeezing Abby’s hand. Ducky was pulling at his shoulder gently.

“Maybe we should leave, Anthony,” Ducky said, in a kind voice. Tony squared his shoulders.

“No,” he said quietly. “No, I think I really need to stay. I’ve been avoiding this for far too long.”

DiNozzo glanced at him and then glanced down at the file. Uncertainty flickered in his eyes, and McGee saw that he was apprehensive about opening it.

“Do you really want to take a look inside, Dad?” Tony asked. “Are you sure you can handle what’s in there?”

“I can’t believe you’re lying about something this important, Tony,” DiNozzo said, in a shaky voice. “But…Roy? I can’t believe that he’d do something like this, either.”

“Then I guess it comes down to which one of us you believe in the most. Is it Roy, or is it me? Is it your best friend, the man who saved your life, and helped you build up your business? Or is it your son, who, let’s face it, has always been a disappointment to you.”

DiNozzo’s eyes flashed. “That’s not true, Tony,” he protested.

Tony shrugged. “Feels true.”

“You shut me out! You never gave me a damn chance!”

“And if you want to know why, then take a look in the damn file!”

DiNozzo hesitated.

“Do it, Dad,” Tony said softly. “See for yourself.”

DiNozzo took a deep breath and then flicked open the file with a determined flourish of his hand. He fished inside an old packet of photos, took one out, and stood there, completely silent, gazing at it. He looked like he’d been turned into stone. Then he made a little sound in the back of his throat and turned towards Tony.

“When were these taken?”

“When I was twelve,” Tony replied quietly.

“Where…?”

“In a hotel room…” Tony began, but DiNozzo held up a hand to stop him.

“No…I mean…where was I?” he asked, in a strangulated voice.

“You know, I’ve been asking myself the same question,” an icy voice said behind them, and Gibbs strode into the squad room. McGee felt a wave of the most intense relief. Finally, someone had arrived to take charge of the situation.

“Mr. DiNozzo, I’m Agent Gibbs, come with me. McGee – help Ziva start cataloguing the evidence. Tony…” Gibbs went over to Tony and stood in front of him. “Where do you want to be, Tony?” he asked quietly. “With me, or do you want Abby and Ducky to take you someplace else?”

Tony glanced at his father over Gibbs’s shoulder. The man was still gazing at the photo with a look of horror on his face. And there was something else as well – an appalled kind of sadness. McGee felt sorry for him.

“With you,” Tony said quietly.

Gibbs nodded and turned back to take DiNozzo into a conference room. Tony started to follow him, but his arm remained behind, his hand still tightly gripped by Abby. He came to a halt and glanced at her over his shoulder.

“It’s okay, Abs,” he said. “I’m fine. I’ll be with Gibbs.”

“Okay.” Abby nodded furiously.

“So you can let go,” Tony told her.

“Okay.” Abby nodded again.

“Any time today would do, Abs.” Tony gave her a little grin. Ducky stepped forward and disentangled her hand from Tony’s.

“Come with me, Abigail – you look as if you could do with a nice cup of tea and some of my cousin’s splendid shortbread biscuits,” he told her, leading her off towards the elevator, one arm wrapped around her shoulders.

 

~*~

 

Tony followed his father and Gibbs into the conference room, feeling shaky. He couldn’t bear to look at his father – he didn’t want to see what was in his eyes. It reminded him too much of the way his father had looked after his mother had died.

He was glad of Gibbs’s hand on his shoulder, pushing him into a chair, of Gibbs’s strong, solid, presence, and his ability to dominate an entire room without saying a word.

“Sit down, Mr. DiNozzo,” Gibbs said gruffly.

His father sat down at the head of the table, a couple of chairs along from Tony.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, in an anguished voice.

“I tried.” Tony rubbed his cheek again. “You wouldn’t listen.”

“You should have made me listen!”

“You’re right. This is all my fault.” Tony sat back in his chair and crossed his arms across his chest like a petulant teenager. “For God’s sake, Dad! I tried. I was just a kid. You were never easy to talk to, and I didn’t know what to say!”

“Roy…” His father shook his head. “I can hardly…Roy?” He looked broken, and Tony’s mood changed immediately. He wanted to go over there and put his arms around his father. They had never found a way to be close, but he’d always loved him, and he had never wanted to see him hurt like this. “Roy saved my life,” his father whispered, and the sense of betrayal seeped from every word, breaking Tony’s heart. “He was my closest friend. I trusted him. I relied on him. And all these years he knew what he’d done to you. Where is he now, Agent Gibbs?” He raised his head and looked at Gibbs.

“In one of my interrogation rooms. Under guard,” Gibbs grunted.

“Does he deny it?”

“No.” Gibbs shook his head. Tony felt his gut clench knowing Roy was so close, and he wondered what he had said to Gibbs. He wondered if any of what he’d said had changed Gibbs’s view of him and that made him feel cold inside. He knew Roy had a way of twisting things, and he was sure Gibbs wouldn’t be taken in by that…but all the same, it bothered him. “No, in fact he’s been very co-operative. He admits everything he did to Tony.”

“Were there other children?” his father asked.

“Yes.” Gibbs nodded. “But I think he had better access to Tony, over a longer period, than any of the other boys.”

A wince passed over his father’s face. “I used to go away on business. I trusted Roy. He was so good to Tony. Roy was married…I never felt there was anything…strange about him.” His father glanced at him, and Tony shrugged, helplessly. “Is that when it happened? When I was away?”

Tony nodded.

“And you asked me not to go. Christ, you practically begged me not to go.”

His father gazed at him pathetically. He looked like he’d aged twenty years in the past twenty minutes. Tony tried to swallow down the lump in his throat. He hadn’t wanted this to happen. He didn’t want to see his father looking like this. His father was always such a big, authoritative man; a man of certainties. Tony didn’t like being the one who’d stripped those certainties from him.

“I neglected you,” his father said.

“No, Dad…” Tony began, and then he paused. “Yeah, you did,” he said quietly.

“I knew I was neglecting you. You and your mother were so close. I looked into your eyes, and all I could see was what I’d lost. I avoided you.” His father pinched the bridge of his nose. “I knew that was what I was doing, but I had no idea that Roy was exploiting all my failings in such an evil way.”

“Roy Quinn is a ruthless sexual predator who hid his tracks very well,” Gibbs said. “He was good at what he did, Mr. DiNozzo. For that, at least, you can’t blame yourself.”

“Small comfort,” his father muttered. Gibbs made a little movement with his jaw, and Tony could see that he felt his father deserved all the misery he was experiencing right now.

Gibbs glanced at him. “Tony – do you want to tell your father the rest of it, or do you want me to do that?” he asked.

Tony felt his mouth go dry. “Is there any need? I mean…isn’t this enough?”

“He should know it all, Tony. It’ll come out anyway, eventually – better to tell him now.”

“What more is there?” his father asked.

Gibbs’s jaw tightened grimly. Tony couldn’t bear to look at either of them, and he gazed down at his own hands where they were resting on the table.

“We’re investigating a pedophile ring,” Gibbs said tersely. There was a long silence. Tony looked up to see the utter incomprehension in his father’s eyes.

“It wasn’t just Roy, Dad,” he explained. “He gave me to two other men.”

His father got up and was halfway to the door when Gibbs intercepted him.

“Where is he, Agent Gibbs?” he demanded, in a voice that was half-way between a growl and a whimper. “I will kill him. I swear that I’ll kill him with my bare hands!”

Gibbs shook his head. “Trust me, if that was an option, I’d have done it myself,” he said grimly. “He will go to prison, Mr. DiNozzo. I promise you that.”

“And these other men?”

“One of them is already in custody. The other…we’ll find him too. They will pay for what they did to Tony. None of them will escape justice. Whatever form it might take,” Gibbs muttered in a grim undertone.

“I failed you, Tony,” his father said, standing there, next to Gibbs. He looked shaken to his core and utterly and completely broken. “I failed you in every respect.”

“No, Dad…”

“I’m your father! My first duty towards you was to protect you – to keep you safe. I failed you.”

Tony saw the spark flash in Gibbs’s eyes, and he winced. Now was not a great time to have Gibbs remember Kelly.

“Yeah, you did.” Gibbs said bluntly. “You failed him, and you’ll have to find a way to live with that, Mr. DiNozzo.”

“How?” His father looked completely out of his depth, and Tony couldn’t remember a time when he’d ever looked like that. Gibbs shrugged.

“It isn’t easy. I should know,” he muttered. He put a hand on his father’s shoulder, and his expression softened. “But Tony’s gonna need you in the coming months. There will be the trials – I don’t know yet whether Tony will need to give evidence or not, but either way, he’ll need all the help he can get. Don’t fail him again.”

His father put a shaky hand through his hair. “Of course. Anything I can do…” He took a series of deep breaths. “Look, Tony, I must be able to help in some more practical way. You know I’ve always been adamant about you earning your own money, but I’d like to at least help out financially…”

“No,” Tony said, surprising himself with the force of his own voice.

His father seemed surprised as well. He looked at Tony, his expression confused, as if he thought Tony had misunderstood. “I’m talking about a considerable amount,” his father said. “You wouldn’t ever have to work again unless you wanted to.”

“No,” Tony said again, just as firmly. “I got paid, Dad. I fucking well got paid – in roller skates, and sneakers, and all that shit Roy used to buy me back then. He gave me presents to help me keep my mouth shut – and, sometimes, to help persuade me to open it,” he added, with a twisted little smile.

His father flinched, visibly. Even Gibbs gave a little wince. Tony knew he was probably going too far, but he couldn’t help himself.

“I don’t want your money to make it okay. I don’t want to get paid for it all over again. It happened. It’s not something you can make better with money, or presents, or any of that shit. It wasn’t okay. It was never okay. It never can be okay.”

“I just want to do something to help,” his father said despairingly.

“There isn’t anything you can do, Dad,” Tony replied. “I wish there was. I honestly wish there was, but there isn’t.”

“Your friend, Officer David, she said you stopped coming home because of Roy. Is that true?”

“Yes.” Tony nodded. “I had to take care of myself, Dad – nobody else did,” he said, knowing he was hurting his father but saying it anyway because it was true. “I had to get myself out because otherwise…I don’t know what would have happened.”

“That’s why you asked to go to boarding school?”

“Yes.”

“And that’s why you changed? You were such a shy, sensitive child, but it seemed like you changed overnight. All the girls, the parties, the fast cars…”

“I guess.” Tony shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t know how I’d have turned out if it hadn’t happened – who the hell can know that? Don’t think I haven’t asked myself, but I don’t know.”

“Will you at least allow me to visit you, and – maybe you’ll consider coming home again one day?” his father asked.

Tony glanced at Gibbs, and then at his father. “Okay. Maybe…but you have to accept me for who I am.”

“Of course. That’s not a problem.” His father looked puzzled.

Tony gazed at him thoughtfully. “And if I brought a guy home – would that be a problem?”

His father frowned. “A guy?”

“A boyfriend?” Tony prompted.

“You’re not gay. All the women…” His father shook his head. “What are you saying? I don’t understand.”

“I’m not pretending any more, Dad, and I’m not hiding any more – I’ve done enough of that. I don’t know if Roy screwed with my sexuality, but I do know that I’ve slept with almost as many men as women. I guess that makes me bisexual, and right now I’m in a relationship with a man. At least…I think I am.” He cast a wry look at Gibbs. “It certainly feels that way, but what the hell would I know? I’ve never had a real relationship before. Yet another thing that Roy probably screwed up for me. I’m all screwed up in here, Dad.” He put a finger to his head and twisted. “And who knows how much of it is down to Roy and his pervert friends, and how much of it is just regular screwed up, the way everyone is.”

“After what you’ve been through, do you think I care about any of that?” his father asked quietly.

“I don’t know. Do you?” Tony asked. “I don’t suppose having a bisexual son is what you want, any more than having the fucked-up, abused son is what you want. But hell, the womanising, wastrel son wasn’t what you wanted, either. Let’s face it, Dad – I have *never* been what you wanted.”

“I won’t judge you.” His father made a helpless gesture with his hands. “I failed you as a father – I can hardly lecture you about failing me as a son.”

Tony gazed at him with a new sense of hope. This wasn’t what he had expected of his father.

“If you mean that, then maybe…maybe we can salvage something from this whole mess, Dad.”

“I hope so.” His father nodded. “Are you going to be okay?” His eyes flickered to Tony’s bandaged hand. “With all this going on? Are you okay? Do you need anything?” He paused. “Do you need me?”

“I’m fine,” Tony said, with a faint hint of a smile. “I’ve got my friends.”

“Ah, yes – your friends.” His father managed a faint smile in return. “I think I’ve met them. Judging by how they defended you earlier, at least I know that you’re in safe hands.”

Tony glanced at Gibbs again and got a brief flicker of a smile from him too.

“Yeah, I am,” Tony said meaningfully, still looking at Gibbs. He got up and went over to his father. “Are you going to be okay too?” he asked. “I feel like I’ve destroyed your entire life with this. The business, Roy…”

“Tony…you’re my son,” his father said helplessly. “Compared to what happened to you, none of that matters.”

They looked at each other for a long time. Then his father cleared his throat. “Well, I should…” He gestured with his head towards the door.

“Yeah.” Tony shrugged.

His father didn’t move. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I’m so sorry, Tony.”

He reached out and patted Tony’s shoulder clumsily. Tony batted his arm aside and pulled him into an awkward hug. “Yeah, I’m sorry too, Dad,” he muttered into his father’s ear.

~*~

Gibbs escorted Tony’s father down to the foyer. He looked shaken to the core, and Gibbs’s earlier antipathy towards him faded. He still blamed him at least partially for Tony’s ordeal, but the man had been genuinely shocked and horrified by what had happened to his son and had tried to offer Tony an olive branch.

“You going to get home okay?” he asked. DiNozzo nodded.

“I’ll be fine.” He looked Gibbs in the eye. “You don’t think much of me do you, Agent Gibbs?”

Gibbs shrugged. “We all make mistakes,” he said. “You and me – ours are harder to live with. The hard part – for you – starts now, and it’s a long, hard path. I know. I’ve walked it.”

DiNozzo gave him a searching look. “What happened to you?” he asked quietly.

“Let’s just say that I couldn’t protect my daughter any more than you protected your son. Maybe it was a different kind of failure – but I felt it just as hard. At least you have a chance to make it up to Tony – I never got a chance to make it up to my child. Don’t waste that chance, Mr. DiNozzo. If you do, you’ll lose him forever.”

DiNozzo nodded, slowly. “I’ll do my best. He doesn’t want me around right now – and I don’t blame him. Will you protect him, Agent Gibbs? I know it’s a couple of decades too late, but…I need to know that someone is looking out for him.”

“I’ll do that.” Gibbs nodded.

“And when – if – he finally comes home – is it you who will be coming with him, like he said? I saw the way he looked at you back there.”

Gibbs gave a curt nod. “Yeah. It’ll be me.”

DiNozzo grabbed his arm. “Don’t let him down, Agent Gibbs.”

Gibbs glared at him. “I won’t.”

DiNozzo let go of his arm with a grunt and turned to go.

“Mr. DiNozzo!” Gibbs called him back. “If you were tempted to take the law into your own hands in respect of Roy Quinn – don’t. I recognise that look in your eyes,” Gibbs said quietly. “But trust me, there are others better placed than you to ensure justice is served.”

“Like you?” DiNozzo asked, with a raised eyebrow.

“Quinn will go to prison for a long time. I’ll make sure of that,” Gibbs told him grimly. “If, for any reason, he doesn’t, I’ll take care of that as well. Understood? Tony is my responsibility now – not yours.”

DiNozzo gazed at him for a long time and then nodded. “I understand. Take good care of him for me, Gibbs,” he said, and then he turned and left.

“Always,” Gibbs growled at his retreating back.

Gibbs watched him until he’d gone; a tall man, who had walked into this building proud and certain and left it broken and betrayed. Gibbs didn’t think he’d ever get over it, but then again, he didn’t think he deserved to.

Gibbs returned to the squad room and ordered Ziva to give him a brief update. He glanced at the boxes of files she had brought back with her, with a flicker of distaste.

“Go through everything in these and see if there are any current contact details for Gianni Marconi,” he commanded. She nodded and scurried away. Gibbs felt a certain satisfaction knowing he had both Parrish and Quinn safely locked up in custody, but he also knew he wouldn’t be completely happy until he had found Marconi and brought him to justice too. And if those files revealed the identities of any other pedophiles, then Gibbs would track them down as well. He wouldn’t stop until the job was done.

“McGee – put Quinn on ice for me,” he ordered. “I don’t feel like having the pleasure of that S.O.B’s company again today. I’ll pick up where I left off tomorrow.”

“Okay, Boss,” McGee said. “I don’t blame you. You going somewhere?”

“Yeah,” Gibbs said grimly. “Home.”

It had been a long day, and he thought Tony had been through enough, with first that meltdown in the hotel room, then Quinn’s arrest, and now that emotionally draining conversation with his father.

It wasn’t easy juggling the case and Tony, but he’d done enough work for today, and Tony needed him more right now. Gibbs was looking forward to another evening on the couch and a hell of a lot more kissing. Tony needed some loving.

He returned to the conference room, shut the door behind him, and paused. Tony was standing by the window, looking out, his forehead resting on his arm. He looked exhausted, but his shoulders had lost that hunched look they’d had for days.

“Hey,” Gibbs said softly.

“Hey.” Tony didn’t move.

“You okay?”

“Yeah.” Tony nodded slowly. Then he pushed himself away from the window and turned around to face Gibbs. “Yeah, I really am. I feel…fine.” He looked surprised. “Kind of light-headed. Giddy. Like there’s been something pressing on me all this time, weighing me down, but now it’s gone.”

“Good.” Gibbs went to stand in front of him. He put his hands on Tony’s shoulders. “It’s been one hell of a day, but you took everything that was thrown at you, and you didn’t once quit, or give up, or cave in. I’m damn proud of you, Tony.”

Tony’s eyes glowed in response to the praise. “You think I should have taken the money though, right?” he grinned.

“Hell yeah! I’ve always wanted to be a kept man.”

“Liar,” Tony laughed. “You’d damn well hate it.”

“Yeah, I damn well would.”

Gibbs put his hand around the back of Tony’s neck, pulled him in, and kissed him hard on the mouth. Tony gave a sweetly satisfying little sigh and leaned into him. Gibbs wrapped his arms around Tony and held him close, his hands cupping Tony’s ass. Tony slid both his arms around Gibbs’s waist and held on tight, opening up his mouth to accept Gibbs’s demanding tongue. Gibbs kissed him forcefully for a long time – until he felt Tony’s body relax completely against his and heard Tony’s soft moan. Then he pulled back a little.

“I think it’s time to go home,” Gibbs murmured.

“You finished for the day?” Tony raised an eyebrow. “Kind of early for you.”

“Yeah, I know, but something more interesting just came up,” Gibbs grinned. Tony raised a confused eyebrow, and Gibbs glanced down. “I don’t think that’s your damn cell phone digging into my thigh, DiNozzo!”

Tony’s eyes flashed excitedly, and he gave a holler of sheer joy. “Oh yeah! Little Anthony is back in business!” he whooped. Gibbs rolled his eyes. “I gotta get you home, Gibbs. I gotta get you home right now,” Tony said, grabbing his arm and pulling him over to the door. “I wonder why it came back now? But then again, who the hell cares? Will it go away again? Don’t answer that…we gotta put it to good use…”

Gibbs pulled him back. “Slow down, Tony.”

“Slow down?” Tony raised an incredulous eyebrow. “Slow down? Gibbs, you have no idea how many fantasies I’ve had about you over the years. You have no idea how often I’ve sat at my desk, hiding a massive hard-on, staring at you across the room, fantasising about running over there and ripping your pants off your ass. You have no idea how many lonely nights my right hand and Little Anthony have spent together, just dreaming about you…Slow down, he says? No way, Gibbs – no fucking way!”

He put his hand on the door and then turned to face Gibbs, his eyes narrowing dangerously.

“Don’t tell me you’re still not ready,” he growled.

Gibbs grinned. “I told you – I’ll be ready when you are, and you seem pretty ready.”

Tony came back over to him and grabbed his face in his hands. “Ready? I am this close – this close – to shoving you onto that table and tearing your clothes off you. Do not make me wait, Gibbs.”

He pulled away, wrenched open the door, and strode outside like a man walking on air.

“Probie!” he yelled, as he ran into the squad room. “Call that girl and ask her for a date – a real date, not some weird cyber-date.”

McGee gazed at him in surprise. “Is he okay?” he asked Gibbs, who was following on behind.

“Oh yeah,” Gibbs grinned. “He’s fine. Trust me.”

“Zeevah!” Tony grabbed her and swung her around. “Don’t let Gibbs make you stay here all night. Get Eli to take you somewhere nice – get him to spoil you – you deserve it.”

“Uh…very well, Tony, I will do that,” she replied. “Are you sure he is okay?” she mouthed at Gibbs.

“He will be,” Gibbs said, with a roll of his eyes. “DiNozzo!”

“Yes, Boss!” Tony almost careened into Gibbs in the course of his exuberant dance around the squad room. Gibbs tightened a hand around his wrist.

“My car. Now,” Gibbs ordered, in a low tone, straight into Tony’s ear.

“On it, Boss!” Tony ran over to the elevator at full speed. Gibbs followed on behind at a more sedate pace. He paused and glanced at his team, who were sitting at their desks, their mouths wide open in surprise.

“Well you heard him,” Gibbs shrugged. “It’s been a tough few days, and I know you’ve been putting in the hours. Go have some fun, people. I want you back here first thing tomorrow morning.”

“Yes, Boss,” they said in unison.

“And McGee, Ziva – good work,” Gibbs growled, before setting off in pursuit of Tony.

 

~*~

 

Tony sat in the passenger seat, banging his bandaged hand impatiently on the window as Gibbs drove them – no, that should that be *inched* them – home.

“Oh c’mon!” Tony protested after five minutes of slow crawling. “You choose now, in all the time I’ve known you, to obey the goddamn speed limit?”

Gibbs gave him a sideways glare. “Tony, it’s been a long day, and I’m tired. I don’t want to cause an accident.”

“The only accident you’ll cause is the one in my pants,” Tony hissed, “If you don’t damn well speed up.”

“What’s the matter, DiNozzo? You think I can’t get you hot and hard again when we get home?” Gibbs raised an eyebrow.

“Don’t say the words ‘hot and hard’ like that, Gibbs,” Tony pouted. “It’s not fair. I’m only human.”

“Stop banging your hand against the window. If I have to take you back to the ER to have your stitches re-done, then I promise you that I’ll do something you find *really* unfair.”

Tony glared at him some more, but Gibbs did have a point about his hand. It was starting to ache – but then again so was another part of his anatomy.

Gibbs drew up in the driveway – finally! – and got out of the car, and Tony followed him into the house, kicked the door shut behind them, and then grabbed hold of Gibbs and pushed him against the hallway wall. The blood was coursing through his body, pounding in his hard cock, and he felt more alive than he had for days.

He kissed Gibbs hard on the mouth, running his hands eagerly over his body. Gibbs allowed him one kiss and then pushed him back against the opposite wall. Tony went with a soft thud, and then Gibbs was on him, kissing him back with a matching passion. Tony reached down and cupped Gibbs’s ass cheeks in his hands, kneading them firmly. This felt so good that he thought he might be losing the capacity to think. He had to get Gibbs undressed – and soon.

He grabbed the lapels of Gibbs’s jacket and pushed him back against the opposite wall again. Then he leaned in close, so that he was looking straight into a pair of intense blue eyes.

He knew what he wanted to do to Gibbs, but he doubted that was on offer. Gibbs had been pretty clear about the fact he liked to go on top, and Tony couldn’t really see him as a natural bottom. On the other hand, he’d fucked plenty of tough guys who he’d thought weren’t natural bottoms, and he’d taken great pleasure in reducing each and every one of them to whimpering wrecks. Tony was good at sex, and he damn well knew it. If Gibbs would let him, he could show him the kind of time he’d never had with anyone before. If he wouldn’t…well there were other things they could do – but none of them involved Tony allowing anyone to fuck him, not even Gibbs.

“So, how do you want to play this?” Tony asked, aware that his voice seemed to have been transformed into a low, throaty growl.

Gibbs took hold of his head between his hands and gazed at him. “Oh…I think we’ll do this your way,” he said softly.

Tony didn’t really register that. He figured that first time out Gibbs would want to keep it light, and hell, just having Gibbs naked against his own naked body, and being able to touch him, and stroke him, and make him come was enough for Tony.

“That’s fine. That’s okay. That’s enough…” Tony whispered, nuzzling at Gibbs’s neck eagerly.

“Tony.” Gibbs grabbed his head again and forced him to look at him. “I said we’ll do this your way,” he repeated. Tony must have looked as surprised as he felt, because Gibbs gave a little chuckle of amusement.

“You’ll let me…?” Tony stared at him, bemused. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t fantasised about this for years, but he had never thought that Gibbs would ever let him do it.

“Sure. I trust you.” Gibbs gave him a quirky little grin and patted the side of his face.

Tony felt like all his Christmases had come at once. He reached out and gently stroked Gibbs’s hair, leaning into him.

“Thank you. I’ll make it good – I promise. I’m really, really good at this. You’ll love it.”

He didn’t wait to hear Gibbs’s response. He grabbed hold of Gibbs’s hand and led him impatiently up the stairs, pausing to push him against the banisters every third step and claim yet more deep kisses.

He was aware of Gibbs letting him have his head and do things his way, as he’d promised. He remembered what Gibbs had said in the shower a few days ago, about how sometimes he’d let Tony think he was in charge. This had to be one of those occasions because, however much he seemed to be surrendering, Tony knew that Gibbs could reassert control in the blink of an eye. Tony also knew that he’d always let him – but right here, right now, Gibbs was giving it up to him. That turned Tony on like nothing else, and he pulled Gibbs into the bedroom and pushed him down onto the bed.

He straddled Gibbs and then paused, looking down on him. He wanted to savour this moment. He’d never felt more turned on, and it was such a relief to feel his hard cock pressing against the front of his pants. In his darkest moments, he’d honestly wondered if he’d ever get his libido back. Now, he was on top of Gibbs, looking down on him, and about to do something he’d only dreamed about for the past eight years.

He didn’t want to rush this. He hadn’t lied – he was a damn good lay – and he wanted Gibbs to have the best he could offer. He leaned forward and kissed Gibbs on the mouth again and then dropped a series of little kisses onto the fading yellow bruises on Gibbs’s jaw. He worked his way down Gibbs’s neck to his shirt and then drew back. Gibbs was looking at him with an amused expression on his face, but Tony saw that he was also curious – and turned on, judging by the dark arousal in his eyes.

Tony slid a finger under Gibbs’s shirt and began to undo the buttons, never taking his eyes off Gibbs as he worked. He wished Gibbs didn’t always wear tee shirts under his shirts. He wanted to get straight at naked skin, but he also wanted to get the maximum amount of eroticism from this moment. He didn’t want Gibbs to be disappointed by any aspect of his performance.

He undressed Gibbs slowly, like opening up a long-awaited parcel, taking his time, always going back to deliver little kisses to Gibbs’s mouth, or to suck on his neck, or nibble at his earlobes. Gibbs let him work, gazing up at him the whole time, that curious expression always in his eyes.

Tony opened Gibbs’s shirt and then reached for his pants.

“Now that’s not your cell phone,” he purred, as he felt a very promising hardness. Gibbs rolled his eyes in exasperated amusement.

“You got me, DiNozzo. That’s definitely not my cell phone.”

Tony grinned exuberantly, delighted that he had the power to turn Gibbs on in this way. He undid Gibbs’s pants and then lifted up so that he could slide them down Gibbs’s legs, along with his boxers. He almost didn’t want to finish the job, because he was so desperate to get back to Gibbs’s straining erection. But he also wanted Gibbs totally naked, so he pulled off his boots and socks and threw them all into an untidy heap on the floor along with his pants and boxers.

Then he straddled him again, and gazed at Gibbs’s beautiful erect cock, his hand almost tingling at the thought of holding it. He moved his left hand towards it, irritated by the bandage on his right, and needing the skin-on-skin contact. Gibbs gave a little shuddery grunt as Tony wrapped his hand around it. Tony loved how it felt – all that thick, warm hardness, covered in soft skin, pulsing powerfully between his fingers.

“God that feels good,” Tony murmured, sliding his hand up and down the shaft. He leaned forward and kissed Gibbs while he moved his hand and felt Gibbs gasping into his mouth with each stroke. Tony thought he could come just from this, and it would be enough, but he also knew what else was on offer so he held back, wanting to have it all.

Gibbs moved his hands to grasp Tony’s hips, and Tony pushed them away. He slid Gibbs’s tee shirt up his body with his bandaged hand, revealing Gibbs’s hard bare chest, covered in silver curls of hair. Tony started at his belly button and nuzzled his way up to one of Gibbs’s nipples – and then sucked down expertly. Gibbs gave a little moan, and his hand came up to grab Tony’s shoulder. Tony shook it off and moved on to Gibbs’s other nipple, sucking and licking as he went. Gibbs arched up into him as Tony worked his nipple with his mouth and his hard cock with his hand.

Gibbs slipped a hand down the back of Tony’s pants, and Tony moved sideways, dislodging it. He could feel his own cock leaking, and he needed to get them both naked as soon as possible. He drew back and undressed at lightning speed and then turned back to the bed to find that Gibbs had divested himself of his shirt and tee shirt. Tony pouted a little, because he’d wanted to do that himself, but then he forgot about it as he greedily drank in the sight of all that enticing bare flesh.

He straddled Gibbs again, intercepting Gibbs’s hand just as it came up to touch his bare hip. He took hold of both Gibbs’s arms and pushed them up, so that they were above his head, where he could keep them out of the way. He was aware of just a moment of resistance and then felt Gibbs give, and allow him to do what he wanted. He grinned and leaned his body forward, deliberately trapping both their cocks between their bellies. Gibbs gave another gasp, and Tony captured it with his mouth, moving his hips rhythmically so that both their cocks were stimulated.

He looked down on Gibbs as he moved, saw how aroused he was by the action, and grinned again, his eyes glazing over slightly. This was something he was good at. He knew all the moves, and he intended to use every single one of them on Gibbs. This was his playground, his arena, and he knew how to…

He was jolted out of this reverie by Gibbs suddenly pushing up and rolling them both over, so that Tony was now on his back, and Gibbs was on top. Gibbs gripped his head between his hands, and Tony struggled to focus back in the moment.

“Once more with feeling?” Gibbs told him, with a raised eyebrow.

“What?” Tony frowned.

“The technique is great, DiNozzo, but I won’t be another notch on your bedpost. You make love to *me*. I told you before – I’m not a distraction.”

“I’m not doing that!” Tony protested, struggling against Gibbs’s arms. He realised that he’d been right earlier about Gibbs allowing him to take control. Gibbs could take it back whenever he damn well wanted, and they both knew it.

“Prove it,” Gibbs said, relaxing his grip.

Tony launched himself back up, feeling annoyed. He didn’t want to screw this up. Gibbs was right; he had a kind of formula. He had a way of kissing, licking, sucking, biting and moving…and he was treating Gibbs just like he’d treated all the guys he’d picked up in the past.

He sat down on the side of the bed and buried his face in his hands, his cock drooping.

“Hey…I told you, sex isn’t something you do to people, or have done to you,” Gibbs said, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

He bestowed a little kiss on the back of Tony’s neck. Tony wriggled away from it. Gibbs slid a hand down towards Tony’s cock, and Tony grabbed his wrist, stopping him before he got there.

“Ah…I thought so.” Gibbs drew back. “Is this the way it always is, Tony?”

“What the hell do you mean?”

“I mean – you get what you want, and you give your partners what they want, and everyone gets off, but you don’t like anyone touching you, do you?”

Tony frowned. “It isn’t like that. I like it just fine…But I…” He shook his head.

“You told me once that you never lose control during sex. You can’t afford to, can you?”

Tony slid both his hands through his hair and gazed blankly at his own knees. Gibbs sat down beside him and rested one hand lightly on his shoulder.

“I’m not sure what people are going to do when they touch me during sex,” Tony said miserably. “I prefer to be the one making all the moves. I don’t like it if they do something unexpected. This one guy stuck his finger up my ass when I was busy fucking him…I freaked out and gave him a black eye and neither of us got off that night. I have to be careful. I don’t want to end up hurting anyone.”

“You won’t hurt me,” Gibbs said confidently.

“I don’t know that,” Tony admitted, shame-faced. “You saw me with McGee earlier – I had my hand around his throat, and that was just because he touched my shoulder…”

“Yeah, but you were stuck in a memory back then. That’s not going to happen now.”

“But supposing I do something like that to you?” Tony asked helplessly.

“Not gonna happen.” Gibbs shook his head.

“How do you know?”

“Tony – back in that hotel room you responded immediately when I ordered you to drop McGee. And besides, I’m not McGee; I could take you in a fight, no matter where your head was when it happened. You won’t hurt me.”

“You don’t know that. I can’t *risk* that,” Tony hissed, gazing at him miserably. “Shit, Gibbs…I’ve been all over the place these past few days. Who the hell knows what might trigger something?” He dropped his eyes, unable to meet Gibbs’s hard gaze.

“Tony…it won’t happen,” Gibbs told him firmly, gripping his chin and making him look at him. “It won’t happen because I trust you – and you trust me.”

“Not enough to let you fuck me. Not enough to even let you touch me,” Tony pointed out.

“I couldn’t fuck you yet anyway, Tony.” Gibbs said with a shrug. “I have too many images in my mind right now to be comfortable with that. It was always going to be this way.”

“Yeah, Boy 43 strikes again, huh?” Tony shook his head. “Damn it!” he roared, smashing his fist into the nightstand. Then he winced at the flare of pain and sucked on the side of his hand to relieve it.

“You want to end up with both hands in bandages?” Gibbs queried, and then he laughed out loud. Tony gave a little grin in return, abashed by his own outburst. Gibbs tousled his hair affectionately. “Now…you promised me that you’d show me a good time – how about you make good on that?”

He took hold of Tony’s hand and placed it on his own cock, which was now semi-erect but responded eagerly when Tony grasped it. It was a wide, solid, meaty cock and Tony felt a tingle of arousal. His own cock began to harden again in response. He grinned, and pushed Gibbs back onto the bed again.

This time Gibbs let him have his way, and surrendered control easily. He allowed Tony to cover his body with dozens of little kisses and caress every inch of him. He turned onto his front when Tony flipped him, and Tony spent several long, entirely pleasurable minutes caressing his firm, plump ass. Who knew Gibbs had been hiding an ass this tasty beneath those jeans and shirts?

Tony pulled his ass cheeks apart and dipped a tongue eagerly between them. He couldn’t give blowjobs, because the feeling of choking and suffocation always overwhelmed him, but he loved rimming. Gibbs made a series of throaty little sounds as Tony slid his tongue into him, and Tony glowed with pleasure. This was the hottest thing he’d ever done in his life.

His cock was now so hard that he needed to move things on. He pulled away and glanced around, aware that he probably should have thought of this before.

“Nightstand drawer,” Gibbs growled.

Tony grinned as he opened it and found the condoms and lubricant inside. “You must have been a boy scout,” he teased.

Gibbs glared at him. “Just figured we’d need them at some point.” Then he turned over onto his back. “I want to watch.”

Tony nodded. He usually preferred taking his partners from behind. Every single man he’d fucked these past eight years had been a poor substitute for Gibbs, and it had been easier to fantasise that it was Gibbs he was fucking if they were on their hands and knees, and he couldn’t see their faces. But now that he had the real deal, he wanted to look into his eyes and know that it really *was* Leroy Jethro Gibbs he was inside.

He lubed his fingers and then lay down beside Gibbs and slipped one of them inside him. He sensed Gibbs’s initial hesitation and could feel him making a conscious effort to relax.

“Easy,” Tony whispered, using his free hand to stroke Gibbs’s chest. He hadn’t asked Gibbs if he had ever bottomed before – just because it wasn’t his preference didn’t mean he’d never done it. And yet, Tony couldn’t imagine that he’d ever let anyone in before. Gibbs wasn’t exactly famous for letting people in emotionally, and Tony doubted that he had physically, either. He felt kind of giddy at the idea that he might be his first, and that it was only him that Gibbs trusted enough to do this.

Tony slid his finger in and out expertly, moving his body against Gibbs’s as he worked. He moved up for a kiss every so often and was gratified when Gibbs slowly began to unravel and relax against him. A second finger was allowed in without any resistance, and Tony saw Gibbs’s eyes start to darken with arousal again. The third finger was a tighter fit, and Tony didn’t want to rush anything. He stroked Gibbs’s cock firmly as he finger-fucked him, pausing to kiss him frequently, and Gibbs responded as Tony had hoped, opening up, his body becoming increasingly boneless under Tony’s caresses.

“Y’know, if you’re gonna do this, now would be a good time,” Gibbs growled suddenly. “’Cause I don’t know how much longer I can hold on here, DiNozzo.”

“On it, Boss!” Tony grinned.

He removed his hand and reached for the condoms. He peeled one onto his rock hard cock, slathered on some lubricant, and moved over, so that he was between Gibbs’s thighs.

He was unable to resist leaning in for another kiss, and then he spread Gibbs’s buttocks with his hands, snubbed his cock into his entrance, and slid forward. He heard Gibbs give a little growl, but he was a marine through and through, and if it hurt he wasn’t about to show it. Tony hoped it didn’t. He locked gazes with Gibbs, smiling at him stupidly, and rocked forward, inching in cautiously, feeling no resistance. Gibbs’s body was open and welcoming.

Gibbs felt so damn good – there was so much heat and intensity, and his blue eyes were unwavering as they gazed up at him. Tony buried himself deep inside him, gasping as the tight pressure of Gibbs’s body sent little shockwaves of pleasure through all the nerve-endings in his cock.

He paused when he was lodged as far inside Gibbs’s body as he thought he could go, and looked down on the man beneath him. Gibbs looked up at him, that curious expression back in his eyes, along with something else. There was an expression of such total trust and affection there, that Tony felt a lump rise in his throat. He had never thought he’d see that particular expression in Gibbs’s eyes, and he was suddenly aware that this was as big a deal for Gibbs as it was for him. He leaned down and kissed Gibbs gently on the mouth in recognition of that fact. Then he drew back, to find that Gibbs was still gazing up at him.

“More,” Gibbs murmured, and he opened his legs wider and moved his hips so that Tony could ease himself in even further. It felt so good that he had to blink a few times to adjust. He hung there, gazing down on Gibbs in disbelief. He was here, doing this. He was here, making love to Leroy Jethro Gibbs – and he was damn well going to wring a scream of pleasure from Gibbs’s lips if it was the last thing he did.

He moved his hips back and then thrust forward, just gently. Gibbs gave an almost grudging grunt – but Tony caught the spike of pleasure in his eyes.

“Feels good, huh?” he grinned smugly, moving his hips again – more forcefully this time. Gibbs glared at him.

“Just keep moving, DiNozzo,” he growled.

“Anything you say, Boss!”

He took Gibbs’s cock in his hand and began stroking it in time to the smooth thrusts of his hips. His own cock was sending ripples of pleasure through him at the intensity of the friction – and his heart was pounding at the sight of Gibbs lying beneath him, looking up at him.

Gibbs never once tried to touch him. He just let Tony take the floor and do this his way. Sex had never been this good with anyone else. The knowledge that it was Gibbs he was making love to; Gibbs who was beneath him, letting him in; and Gibbs whose hard cock he was stroking made all the difference.

Tony loved the sound Gibbs was making – part growl, part gasp – and he loved the feel of his body around his cock, milking him. Most of all, he loved how Gibbs was looking up at him, his eyes shining with that heady combination of love and trust.

Tony felt Gibbs’s body convulse beneath him, and then Gibbs’s come erupted over his hand, and he gave that hoarse shout of pleasure that Tony had been hoping to wring from him.

Tony thrust again; once, twice, and then he was coming too.

“Oh shit…Boss! Gibbs! Jethro!” he yelled, and then he collapsed onto Gibbs in a boneless, sweaty heap.

“I think you covered all your bases there, Tony,” Gibbs grinned. “But, for future reference, Jethro works better for me in the bedroom.”

“Jethro.” Tony grinned back, stupidly, contentedly, and then angled up his face for a kiss. Gibbs obliged. He wrapped his arms cautiously around Tony’s naked back, but Tony felt fine with that. He liked being held by Gibbs, and this felt perfectly safe. Gibbs was right – he trusted him.

They lay there for a little while, happy and exhausted, and then Tony propped himself up on his elbows and looked down into Gibbs’s eyes.

“Was that okay?” he asked, as anxious about his performance in the bedroom as he always was about his performance at work. He just couldn’t help wanting to impress Gibbs, whatever he was doing.

“Hell yeah!”

“That the first time you…” Tony gestured with his head.

“Yup.” Gibbs nodded. “Not the last though.”

Tony gave a delighted smile. Then he moved his hips so he could withdraw. He tied off the condom and threw it in the trash and then got back into the bed beside Gibbs, lying so that they were face to face.

Gibbs wrapped an arm around him, his hand warm and heavy on Tony’s hip, and kissed him.

“Y’know, I never got the big deal about kissing before,” Tony murmured.

“And now?” Gibbs went back in for another long, slow, leisurely kiss. Tony sighed and melted into the embrace.

“Now…I think I like it almost as much as sex,” Tony replied, when he came up for air.

He meant it. He didn’t usually like his sexual conquests to stay around after sex, and he had never liked any kind of post-coital intimacy or cuddling before now. It was different with Gibbs. He didn’t just enjoy it with Gibbs; he actively craved it.

“I want to try it,” Tony said suddenly.

“Try what?”

“The touching thing.” Tony bit on his lip. “I don’t want what they did to me to define me, Jethro. I don’t want them to keep screwing things up for me. I want you to be able to touch me during sex without me freaking out, and I want you to fuck me. I watched you just now and it looked so damn good. I want to know what that feels like to be fucked by someone you love, and who loves you.”

“You will,” Gibbs said.

“That simple huh?” Tony made a face. Gibbs’s hand stroked slowly, gently, cautiously along his naked thigh.

“No,” Gibbs replied bluntly. “It’ll take time, but you’ll get there. One day.”

~*~

End of Defences