Coming Home: 11. The Truly Spectacular Blowjob
John pulled Rodney back to the bed and Rodney went, still feeling bemused. Usually after sex he couldn’t wait to get away, back to his own life, out of the restrictive circle of a top’s arms. He’d got up to use the bathroom, thinking that maybe he’d follow that old pattern, and slip away back to his room for some time alone, but somehow his feet hadn’t taken him away, and had paused instead by the window. He’d stood there for a long time, looking out, wondering why he wasn’t moving, but he didn’t have an answer – until John had woken up and given him one.
Now John wrapped his arms around him, and Rodney rested his head on John’s shoulder. It felt good. Nice. Rodney relaxed into the embrace. So what if this was different? It felt good so why fight it? He sneaked a peek at John, to find his top dozing.
Rodney shifted slightly onto his side, so he could get a good view of him. John’s hair was a tousled mess, standing out in dark relief against the white pillow. When he was sleeping he looked like a loose-limbed teenager, but Rodney was already sure that taking John at face value was a mistake you made at your own peril.
Rodney tried to make some sense of the enigma that was his new top. Mostly, John was laidback and easygoing, always ready with the casual charm and the goofy grin – but that wasn’t how he was in the field, and it sure as hell wasn’t how he had been last night. Rodney traced a finger over one of John’s hands, where it rested on his waist. These hands could kill with deceptive ease, and could just as easily roam over a sub’s body with total confidence, demanding and commanding obedience and respect.
Rodney had to admit to himself that John was fascinating. Smarter than he let anyone see, and far more passionate than he let anyone know. Rodney had never met a top who fascinated him before, and it startled him.
Rodney reached his hand down to touch his own ass, and found the puckered bite mark that John had placed on him. It thrilled him in a way he’d never experienced before, to be marked like this. John’s mark. On his skin. Pressed into his flesh…he had no idea why that should be so exciting but it was.
Last night he had been lost in a haze of desire and pleasure. He had offered himself up, panting and hungry, to this man, had allowed him into his body, and he still didn’t know why because he’d sworn to himself he’d never let that happen again. But…it had been exquisite. Breath-taking. An experience he’d treasure for the rest of his life.
His ass still burned from the way John had slowly, with infinite care and patience, breached his last defences, gentling him until he was relaxed enough to let it happen. And now…Rodney studied his top’s sleeping face, wondering what happened next. John had said he was his – and Rodney couldn’t deny that some part of him was thrilled to hear it – but what did that mean, and how the hell could it possibly work?
The sun was warming the room, filtering lazily through the blinds, and John shifted and opened his eyes.
“We should get up soon,” Rodney said, reluctantly, shifting in his top’s arms.
“Nope,” John replied, pulling him firmly back into place. “We’re not going to work today. I’ll radio Elizabeth and let her know.”
“What?” Rodney raised his head, and gazed at John questioningly. His lover grinned at him.
“Don’t look at me like that!” John protested. “There is no way – *no way* – that I am going to let you out of my sight today, Rodney. Last night was just the beginning – and there’s still a hell of a lot more exploring I want to do.”
His hands slid appreciatively over Rodney’s naked body, making it clear what kind of exploring he had in mind. Rodney found himself giggling, and the sound astonished him. He couldn’t remember when he’d last giggled before John. Not since he was a kid he suspected, and he had no idea why he’d started again now.
“What are you going to tell Elizabeth?” he asked, surprised to find that he didn’t mind in the least not being able to go to his beloved lab today.
“Just that we’re taking a personal day. We’ve both worked our asses off these past few months and we’re due a break.” John traced his hands over Rodney’s wrists, holding them fast, crossed over his chest. “Or maybe I should tell her that you’re all tied up,” he purred in Rodney’s ear. Rodney giggled again. “Would you like that, Rodney? To be tied up, and at my mercy?” John asked, in a voice that was such a serious turn on that Rodney’s cock hardened at the sound of it.
“Mmm,” was all he was able to reply, reddening slightly at the thought. Rodney had never been entirely comfortable with being a submissive. His brief but ill-judged attempts at topping when he was younger had been a total failure, and he had no wish to take that role again. He knew, deep down, that he identified as a sub, but his personality was too irascible and his intellect too powerful for him to find it easy submitting to anyone. He’d run rings around some of his former tops, and had never really done more than paid lip service to his own submission. They’d mostly been too stupid to notice, and that had suited him fine.
Rodney shifted uneasily in his new top’s arms. Somehow, he didn’t think that John would be so easily fooled, and he knew himself well enough to know it was unlikely he’d be able to change – so this whole thing was doomed to failure. He wouldn’t be able to help himself – at some point he’d screw it up, the way he always did. He didn’t understand people – never had. He couldn’t read them, and he usually said or did the wrong thing once too often. His previous tops had either tried to change him or bully him into submission, and he was too strong willed for either tactic to work.
So all he could do was enjoy this, whatever this was, while it lasted – before it all went horribly, tragically wrong, and John realised what a huge mistake he’d made.
“Good, because I like the thought of tying you up, keeping you still, making you take whatever I want to do to you,” John murmured in his ear and Rodney felt a wave of pleasure cascade through his body just at the thought of it. No matter how much he struggled with his own submission, his body always seemed to know exactly what he wanted. “Go and get in the shower,” John ordered. “I’ll call Elizabeth and then join you.”
Rodney slipped obediently out of the bed, and was then pulled back for another long, lingering kiss from his top, before being sent on his way again with a firm spank on his ass. Even this was strange. Usually he tried hard to be a good sub during sex, but afterwards it was as if a switch had been flicked, and he was back to his usual difficult self. Last night hadn’t been like that though. He hadn’t been acting the role of good sub – he’d been too overwhelmed to act out any kind of role at all last night. He’d just thrown himself on John’s mercy, submitting to every last thing his top wanted of him.
He hadn’t tried any of the usual submissive tricks. No sycophantic kneeling and making doe eyes, no calling John ‘my lord’, or ‘master’, no over-eager attempts to please. He’d just been himself, startled, insecure, without even the usual veneer of arrogance and bluster, and now he felt naked and exposed in more ways than just the obvious.
Rodney got under the warm shower water and rested his head against the cool tiles, still feeling lost. “Mine”, John had said, and Rodney had never wanted to be owned by anyone before – he felt claustrophobic at the very thought of it – but when John said it…when John said it, it felt good, like being wrapped in a warm blanket, safe and happy.
He was pulled out of his reverie by a hand on his shoulder as John joined him under the water.
“You’re thinking too much. I can tell,” John said, lifting Rodney’s chin.
Rodney found himself gazing into searching hazel eyes. John’s hair was wet through, and shone an inky black colour against his golden skin.
“Ssh,” John said, and then his warm, wet mouth was descending on Rodney’s, and Rodney surrendered to the kiss, unable, in all honesty, to do anything else. His body seemed to have a mind of its own, and betrayed him at every turn.
He moaned, pressing up close to John’s naked body, and was gratified to find that his top was hard again. John kissed him thoroughly and then released him but only to grab the soap and begin rubbing it into a lather on Rodney’s skin.
Rodney just stood there, allowing his top to wash him, still trying to get his head around all this. He felt dazed and confused, and there was something comforting about the way John’s long, elegant fingers were sliding over his naked flesh, soothing him. John’s hazel eyes were intent as he lathered every single inch of Rodney’s body, examining it as he went.
He stopped every now and then to tweak Rodney’s nipples, or to stroke his chest hair. His agile fingers found freckles and moles as if mapping them, lingered on a faint scar on Rodney’s hip, legacy of an ice hockey accident when he was twelve, then moved on, slow but unceasing in their quest to map Rodney’s flesh.
Rodney didn’t move, he just allowed himself to be examined, too lost to respond with anything other than an honesty that went soul deep. After several minutes, John turned him around, and pushed him forwards gently so that he was out of the immediate flow of the water.
Now Rodney felt John’s fingers on his back, stroking softly. They dipped lower, and found the mark on his ass, and Rodney heard his top make a little growling sound in the back of his throat. Then John was on his knees behind him, licking the mark with his tongue as if reliving the events of the previous night, his hands hot and eager on Rodney’s hips as he held him in place.
Rodney put his hands on the tiled wall in front of him to keep himself from falling, and then he felt his legs being worked open, and fingers nudging the entrance to his anus.
“Are you sore after last night?” John asked him. Rodney glanced over his shoulder to see John inspecting the puckered opening between his buttocks, gazing at it intently, his fingers stroking softly in a way that made Rodney gasp.
“Not much. A bit…ah…there…burns a little,” Rodney said, as John’s fingers located the sore spot with unerring accuracy.
“Mmm…but you’re not torn…just stretched – so I’ll take you again later,” John told him, and Rodney felt it again – that wave of pleasure. John wasn’t asking. He was taking what was his, staking his claim, and that made Rodney tingle with anticipation as he responded to the words on some raw, basic level.
John removed his fingers, and Rodney let out another gasp as a warm, wet tongue took their place. He’d been rimmed before, but it had never felt like this. John was so sure of himself, taking charge of Rodney’s body as if he’d been born to the task, finding pleasure spots that Rodney himself hadn’t even known existed. Rodney gave a strangled yelp, his hands scrabbling for purchase on the smooth wall as John’s tongue dipped expertly inside him. His cock was now rock hard, and he longed to touch it.
“Can I come?” he panted.
“What do you think?” came John’s muffled reply. Rodney sighed, and thumped his head down on his arms.
“I think you’re evil,” he retorted. “Evil, tormenting, cruel, inhuman….”
He was rewarded for that litany of insults by a sharp, stinging slap to his buttocks that made a delicious warmth spread throughout his entire body. “Ow! Also – not a disincentive to mouthing off,” he said, and heard John snort with laughter behind him.
“Oh god – I knew you’d be a handful but now I can see that’s an understatement,” John said. He moved away from Rodney’s ass, and Rodney pouted into his arms, missing the fantastic sensation of being rimmed. John pulled him close and kissed the pout away, keeping Rodney under the water so that the soapy lather was washed from his skin.
“Can I wash you?” Rodney asked, drawing back a little and liking the way the water made John’s eyelashes look thick and even darker. He had never been particularly interested in washing any of his previous tops, but there was something so soothing and sensual about the way John had just handled him that he was eager to try it for himself.
“Sure. I can’t promise to keep my hands off you while you work though,” John grinned. Rodney blinked. He’d never had a top this into his body before. Rodney knew he had the finest mind in two galaxies but he’d never fooled himself that his body was anything special. And yet, the way John behaved you’d think he was some kind of Adonis.
Rodney picked up the soap, and began lathering it over John’s skin. Now John *was* some kind of Adonis. His body was long and lean, the muscles taut and toned beneath the flesh, and it was a pleasure for Rodney to let his fingers linger on his skin as he washed him.
He went down on his knees, and took John’s penis in his soapy fingers. He’d seen it last night, but his main reaction then had been to worry how he’d ever manage to take it into his ass. Now he had a chance to really appreciate it – and it was magnificent. It was hard and powerful, both longer and thicker than any other top Rodney had been with. It wasn’t pretty – it had a raw, blunt quality to it – but its beauty was precisely in its jutting, arrogant strength.
Rodney soaped it gently, lost in the task, loving the way the warm, hard skin felt beneath his fingertips. John moaned, and Rodney glanced up to find his top standing under the water, his head thrown back, his eyes closed, making soft little sounds in the back of his throat.
It was such an intoxicating sight that Rodney’s own cock spasmed with need. He sighed – John seemed to have a thing about controlling when his sub could come, so Rodney doubted he was going to get permission any time soon. At least John couldn’t stop him masturbating in the privacy of his own room though, and, looking up at John’s beautiful naked body and magnificent hard cock, Rodney thought he’d have enough fuel for masturbatory fantasies for a long time to come.
Rodney washed the soap off John’s hard cock, sliding his hand firmly along the shaft to keep his top fully erect, and then he couldn’t resist pressing a kiss to the tip of it. One kiss became two, and then Rodney couldn’t help sliding his lips around the velvety head, and sucking down gently.
John’s eyes flickered open, and his hand came to rest on Rodney’s head. Rodney paused – he should probably have asked permission to start sucking, and he wasn’t sure whether John was the kind of top who made an issue out of that kind of thing.
“Is it time?” John asked. Rodney frowned, wondering whether he’d heard wrong because he had no idea what the hell that meant.
“Time for what?” he asked, pressing another kiss along the side of John’s cock, completely transfixed by it.
John grinned. “Time for that truly spectacular blowjob you’ve been promising me for so long,” he replied.
Rodney snorted. “My blowjobs *are* truly spectacular,” he admitted. “But you’ll need to be sitting down because your knees are going to give way.”
“They’re that good?” John raised an eyebrow. Rodney rolled his eyes.
“Oh yeah. A Rodney McKay special is *definitely* that good,” Rodney said, without a trace of modesty. This was one thing he’d perfected. He knew that it pissed off his tops when he wouldn’t let them take him up the ass, so he’d decided that he needed a talent to make up for it. Having set himself the challenge, he’d thrown himself into it with dedication, practising his art endlessly until he was sure that he had mastered it. He’d enjoyed the learning process – he lived so much in his head that it was a relief to lose himself in something this basic, and he found that it relaxed him, and helped him switch off.
“Ooookay.” John sounded unsure.
Rodney got to his feet, with a smug smile on his face. “It’s true, I’m an extremely arrogant man,” he said, opening the shower door, grabbing John’s hand, and leading him out. “But I have a lot to be arrogant about. For starters – genius.” He pointed to his head with his finger. “And then, also, blowjob expert.”
He reached for a towel and patted John down, then grabbed his hand again and led him back into the bedroom. “You didn’t think a mouth this active was just good for talking did you?” he said, sitting John down on the bed, and kneeling down in front of him.
“Well, it’s pretty good at eating too,” John commented. Rodney rolled his eyes at that but he couldn’t help giving a little giggle all the same. Then he pushed John’s thighs open and settled between them. John’s cock was still semi-erect, and Rodney took a moment to compose himself. He wanted this to be good, the way John had made last night so good. He wanted to repay the man for that. He wanted this to be the best blowjob he’d ever given.
He rested his hands on John’s legs, and leaned forward to blow on the tip of John’s cock. It hardened almost instantly, and Rodney relaxed, and started humming softly to himself at the back of his throat. He longed to take this cock into his mouth. He *ached* in anticipation of widening his jaw to take this magnificent breadth between his lips, but he knew something this important couldn’t be rushed.
Instead he sucked gently on the very tip, and felt John shudder beneath him. One of John’s hands came up and rested on Rodney’s head, stroking his hair gently, and Rodney relaxed even more, loving the way that felt.
Rodney continued to suck on the tip of John’s hard penis, swirling his tongue around the crown, concentrating on teasing the little slit. John sighed and leaned back, and Rodney took that as his cue to lean in.
He didn’t give John any warning, he just took the tip of his cock into his mouth again, and then, without stopping, moved his lips down, and down, and down, relaxing his throat muscles so he could take John deep into the back of his mouth without gagging. This had taken a lot of practice, and Rodney had never swallowed such a big cock before, but adrenaline and his own arousal carried him through. He continued to move his head down, taking John’s cock deep inside his throat, rubbing the sensitive skin with his lips as he went. John gave a hoarse shout, his eyes wide with amazed pleasure as Rodney ended up close to his balls and then slid back again, lips dragging on the throbbing column of flesh. He repeated the manoeuvre, sliding back and forth, each time performing a perfect deep-throat of John’s penis.
Rodney revelled in the exquisite sensation of having such a broad, powerful cock in his mouth. It was a turn on of and by itself, and he lost himself in the task of pleasuring his top. He deep-throated John again and again, and then pulled back, and teased his tongue down the underside of his top’s hard shaft. John’s cock was purple now, hard and straining, leaking pre-come. Rodney licked a pearly white droplet from the slit and then sucked the very tip again, and John was gasping now, his fingers tightening in Rodney’s hair.
Rodney knew that his top was close, and decided that now was the time to bring John to climax. His jaw was aching but he ignored that, and wrapped his lips around John’s cock again and then swallowed it whole in one swift movement that made John roar with surprised pleasure. Rodney went fast now, as John bucked into him.
He was completely lost in the moment, worshipping John’s cock with his mouth, totally absorbed in his task. He could feel John’s penis hitting the back of his throat with every inward thrust, and then John was rising up beneath him, his balls tightening, and he was growling something incoherent. Rodney felt him convulse, and there was a warm gush down the back of his throat as John came. And came. And came.
Rodney felt an inner glow of satisfaction that he’d managed to make his top come so hard and for so long, and then it was over, and John was flaccid and spent in his mouth. Rodney leaned back and gently released him, and then dipped his head forward and tongued John’s sated cock to make sure it was completely clean. Only when he was satisfied did he finally look up to see John lying back on the bed, his body as relaxed as a rag doll, staring at him with amazed hazel eyes.
“Truly spectacular?” Rodney raised an eyebrow.
“Oh ye…” John croaked. He cleared his throat and started again. “Oh god yeah,” he said. “Definitely truly spectacular.”
“Knees trembling? Legs weak? Body totally boneless and un-coordinated?” Rodney asked.
“What? Mmmm. Yeah,” John sighed. “Can’t move.”
“Good.” Rodney grinned, getting up and throwing himself onto the bed beside his top. John managed to move one lazy arm and sling it over his sub, stroking aimlessly with clumsy movements of his hand.
“I’m keeping you. For that alone I’m keeping you,” John murmured.
Rodney giggled again, and wished he could stop. All this giggling was becoming ridiculous. John lay there in a stupor for a long time, and Rodney enjoyed being curled up beside him, basking in the fact that *he* had done this to John. Rodney was so turned on by having that magnificent cock in his mouth that he moved his hand down, surreptitiously, to touch his own hard cock. He managed to get in a few hard strokes when suddenly his arm was pulled away by a firm grasp.
“Have you forgotten what I told you last night?” John asked.
Rodney sighed, and rolled his eyes. “No. I was just kind of hoping that you had. Especially as I just gave you a Rodney McKay special.”
“I want to be the only one who gives you pleasure, Rodney, the only one to bring you to climax,” John told him, and there was an oddly serious look in those hazel eyes of his. “You’re mine now, remember.” He pressed his lips gently against Rodney’s shoulder. “All of you,” he said, in a low, intense kind of tone.
Rodney gazed at him, surprised by how important this was to John. It seemed to go beyond just a sex thing – Rodney remembered the way John had behaved back on the planet of the sex-starved tops, and he shivered. That John, jealous, angry and possessive, turned him on in a way he’d never have expected, and he was seeing a glimpse of that same side of John again now.
“Okay,” he said softly, moving his hands away from his cock. “It’s yours. I’m yours.” The words seemed to placate John, and he smiled again. “Although…if you could see your way clear to playing with it any time soon that would make me a very happy man,” Rodney added. John laughed out loud.
“Oh yeah. Playing is exactly what I had in mind,” he said, an evil glint appearing in his eyes. He got up, slowly, and reached for a box on his nightstand. Rodney scooted over and rested his chin on John’s shoulder as John opened it. Inside was an assortment of toys that momentarily took Rodney’s breath away.
“Did you have anything you wanted to play with?” John asked. “Any favourite toys?”
Rodney shook his head. “I didn’t bring anything like that,” he said with a wry shrug, his eyes eagerly surveying the assortment of enticing items in the box. John turned to gaze at him with a surprised look in his eyes.
“Really? Nothing? You must be the only sub on this base who didn’t then,” he said. Rodney shrugged again.
“Probably. But I was kind of done with the whole sex thing when we came here. I didn’t intend to give myself to a top, so I didn’t think I’d need anything.” Rodney gave a little sigh. “I was doing pretty well with the whole not-having-sex thing too until you showed up,” he added, in an accusatory tone.
“Hey, me too,” John reminded him with a grin. “But, unlike you, I hadn’t lost faith. Lucky for us that SGC counted sex toys as a necessity, and not a personal item.”
“Yeah, I’m not sure who’d have kicked up the most fuss if they had – the tops or the subs,” Rodney agreed with a grin of his own.
John fished out a couple of sumptuous-looking, padded leather cuffs from the box.
“I think I promised to tie you up,” he said, in a low, throaty tone. “Hold out your hands.”
Rodney swallowed hard and did as he was told, his eyes wide and worried. He liked the idea of bondage but it always made him feel slightly anxious, and for that reason he was never able to completely let go and enjoy being restrained.
“You trust me remember,” John told him soothingly, and Rodney nodded, feeling a weight lift from his shoulders. Yes, he’d forgotten that. He was so unused to trusting anyone but he *did* trust this man here. Trusted him with his life, with his heart and with his body – last night had proved that to him. “Good. Now ssh,” John said, pressing a kiss to the side of Rodney’s neck and nuzzling him there. Rodney’s body immediately relaxed into him, as it always did.
John picked up the cuffs again, and fastened them around Rodney’s wrists. They felt good – tight enough to be a constant reminder of his bondage, but not so tight they hurt. Rodney was busy getting used to the sensation when John pounced on top of him and pushed him back onto the bed. He held Rodney’s arms above his head and straddled him, looking down on him. Rodney remembered being kissed back on a warm, sunny beach, and he sighed and relaxed even more, allowing his shoulders to unfurl as John pressed him into the mattress. Then John took hold of his cuffed wrists and fastened them to the metal rail at the head of the bed with a clip.
Rodney tugged on them for a second, testing them, and fought down a wave of panic.
“Ssh,” John said again. “You’re mine, Rodney, and I want you completely at my mercy.”
Rodney sighed softly, realising that he wanted that too. He shivered as John lowered his head and took one of his nipples in his mouth. His nipples had always been incredibly sensitive –but his previous tops had always been less interested in playing with them than in having Rodney service their bodies in some way. John was different. He seemed genuinely interested in getting to know every single thing that turned Rodney on. He teased Rodney’s nipples with his tongue, exploring them with gentle swirls.
“Oh god,” Rodney sighed, loving the sensation on his nipples. John held him down, and then sucked down harder, making Rodney squirm as warm ripples of a too-intense pleasure assaulted him in waves. “Oh god, oh god, oh god!” he cried. John bit down gently with his teeth, making Rodney holler even more, and then the torment was over, and John was lapping at his nipples with his tongue again, gentle and loving.
“You know…I think I need to put another mark on you,” John said, with a feral grin. Rodney felt his stomach do a little flip of anticipation. He loved the mark he had on his buttock – he loved that John liked marking him with his teeth, but he was full of excited trepidation at the thought of a nipple being bitten. “Just give yourself up to it,” John said, stroking his hair gently. Rodney nodded, and tried his hardest to relax as John moved forward and captured his other nipple between his lips, sucking gently. He opened his mouth to cover the entire nipple, and then his teeth were sinking very slowly into Rodney’s flesh. Rodney hissed and his body twisted against the brutal embrace, but John held him down, stroking him as he bit him, and Rodney loved and hated the marking at one and the same time. Then, suddenly, it was over, and John released his poor, abused flesh. Rodney glanced down to see the perfect red mark on his chest, and he couldn’t stop himself grinning. John grinned back.
“God I love marking you,” he murmured, fingering the mark gently with one fingertip. “And I love the way you respond when I suck your nipples. I think I need to play with them a lot.”
“Mmm,” Rodney sighed, happy to hear it. He’d often fantasised about being held down and just having his nipples played with for hours on end, but he’d never had a top who’d been that interested before, beyond the occasional use of nipple clamps.
“There are other ways we could torment them.” John gave an evil grin, and reached for his box of tricks again. Rodney’s eyes widened as his top pulled out a long, white feather and he gave a disbelieving snort.
“You’re going to tickle me to death?” he asked. John laughed.
“Oh no. Something else.” He placed the tip of the quill end of the feather on Rodney’s chest, and pressed it into his flesh, and then dragged it down towards his left nipple. It was a peculiar sensation – kind of scratchy, and Rodney watched it go lower in trepidation, wondering how it would feel on his sensitive nipples. It scratched closer, and closer…and then, without warning, John lifted the nib of the feather and poked it down hard on Rodney’s nipple.
“Oh shit! God! No!” Rodney howled, as the light, blunt tip dug deep into the nub of flesh. It hurt, but it also sent shockwaves of pleasure coursing through him.
“Hold it,” John said, his voice the only constant as he held the feather in place, still stuck deep in Rodney’s nipple.
“Oh god…please…please…” Rodney moaned incoherently. He couldn’t take it any more and wriggled so much that John lost his grip, and then, thankfully, the sensation stopped and Rodney lay there, blinking the sweat away from his forehead. “Only an evil genius would think of doing that with a bloody feather,” Rodney groused when he’d got his breath back.
John wasn’t smiling though. He was running a possessive hand over Rodney’s body, shaking his head. “You’re mine, Rodney. You have to learn to submit,” he said. “I could tie you tighter, make sure you take what I want to hand out, for as long as I want to hand it out, but I’d prefer you to offer yourself up willingly, without trying to get out of it.”
Rodney gazed at him blankly. “It hurt,” he whimpered at last.
“I know.” John gazed back at him, uncompromising. “That’s what makes your submission the sweeter – if it’s easy then you won’t get the same high. Trust me.”
Rodney took a deep breath. He had been right earlier – there was no way John was going to let him pay lip service to his own submission. He wanted Rodney to surrender to him completely, and he wasn’t going to be satisfied with anything less. Little things like this were less because he wanted to cause Rodney pain than a test of how much Rodney was really offering up to him.
“Okay. I’ll try,” Rodney said at last, surprising himself. John smiled, and leaned down to press a deep, comforting kiss on Rodney’s mouth.
“I promise it’ll be good – better than you can ever imagine, but you have to accept what I want to do or it won’t work,” he said. Rodney nodded, and then shuddered slightly as John picked up the feather again. “Now, because you moved last time, this time I’ll hold it there for longer,” John told him, and Rodney felt his stomach do a little flip. He found John’s words and tone more arousing than he thought he really should. There was something intoxicating about giving himself up so completely to someone else’s will, and Rodney closed his eyes, whimpering slightly, as the sharp point of the feather landed on his chest and began its slow crawl down towards his right nipple this time.
He was squirming in anticipation as it got closer and closer, and, unable to keep his eyes closed, he opened them in time to see John move his hand swiftly and then the point of the feather was being pressed into his nipple again, and it felt so intense, but at the same time it felt so good too. Rodney gasped, trying not to flail and twist away, desperately trying to surrender to his top’s will, and John was kneeling above him the entire time, soothing him with little words of comfort and encouragement.
“That’s it. Take it, Rodney. Just surrender to me. Let me do this…let me play with your body, any way I want. Ssh, ssh, good boy…god you look so beautiful when you give yourself up to me….”
Rodney was moaning now, longing for his nipple to be released from the dull, constant ache of having the tip of the feather poked onto it. John was pressing it down so hard that it felt as if it was going deeper and deeper, although logically he knew that it wasn’t, that his body wasn’t being pierced by it. It just felt that way.
“Good boy. You’re doing so well. Take it for a bit longer – for me. You can do that can’t you, Rodney?” John asked. Rodney gazed up at him blindly, about to tell him that he couldn’t, that John had to release him now, but instead he had a moment of revelation instead.
For one long moment in time, it seemed to Rodney that they were joined, locked in the same bubble of energy, and it flowed freely between them, as sweet and warm as honey. There was just him and John, and the sound of John’s voice, and the unbearable pricking sensation in his chest, and a feeling that was like nothing he’d ever felt before.
Oh god – this was good. He could do this. He *wanted* to do this. Wanted to give himself up to John, and drink from this honey cup forever. His entire body was shaking from the effort of not moving, but still he kept in position, his blue eyes locked with John’s hazel ones, both of them transfixed by each other. Rodney thought he could have taken it forever if John asked him to, and that was a moment of revelation for him. And then it was over, and Rodney gave a whimper that was part relief and part disappointment. John removed the feather, and took Rodney’s sore, abused nipple between his warm, gentle lips, lapping at it. The nipple was so sensitised that Rodney gasped in pleasure. John’s hands were firm on his body, stroking him, gentling him, calming him, and it was the best feeling in the whole world.
Finally John released him, and sat back on his heels. “How was that?” he asked.
“Just…I don’t know. Terrible and fantastic at the same time,” Rodney croaked.
John grinned. “I love playing with you. I’ve never had a response like it. It’s just…indescribable,” he said, looking a little bemused.
“Did you feel it too?” Rodney asked, in a slightly awed tone. “That moment…when it felt like there was something warm flowing between us. What was that?”
“I think it was something my father told me about a long time ago,” John said softly, gently stroking Rodney’s nipples with just the lightest, gossamer touch of his fingers.
“Did he say what it was?”
“Oh yeah.” John grinned at him, and then lowered his head and took hold of Rodney’s lips with his own, kissing him deeply. When he released him, he nuzzled Rodney’s neck, and whispered something that Rodney only half heard, and could barely make sense of, but it sounded like “that was the for real moment”.
Then John’s mouth was travelling lower so Rodney didn’t have any brain power left to think about anything at all. Now John was gentle, just kissing and lightly sucking as his mouth travelled over Rodney’s body. He treated Rodney’s body like his own personal playground, taking complete charge of it, and Rodney, bound as he was, could do nothing but offer himself up to his top. John was dedicated in his exploration as well. He seemed as fascinated by Rodney as he had been in the shower, those hazel eyes of his missing nothing as he nuzzled, and licked, and kissed his way over Rodney’s naked skin.
He got to Rodney’s cock and glanced up, an anticipatory gleam in his eyes. “This would look good in a cock ring,” he murmured. Rodney’s cock bounced enthusiastically at that idea. “My cock ring. I like the idea of you wearing it all day.”
“Me too,” Rodney muttered weakly. John reached out and slid his finger over Rodney’s hard shaft and Rodney gave a little yelp as the sensitised flesh cried out for the release of orgasm. John was not inclined to be merciful though – Rodney could see that by the look in his top’s eyes.
“Hold it for me, Rodney.”
“Or?” Rodney tugged on his wrist cuffs slightly, feeling it was time they established some ground rules here. He was getting some idea of the kind of top John was, but he wanted more to go on.
John paused for a moment. “There’s no ‘or’,” he said. “I’m telling you to hold it and last night you told me you could do that for as long as I ordered. I’m not asking you to do anything you said you couldn’t do, and as you’re my sub, I expect you to obey me.”
Rodney found that he liked the uncompromising tone in John’s voice but still he wanted to test those boundaries.
“And deliberate disobedience?” he asked. “What happens then?”
John placed his hand very slowly around Rodney’s cock and slid it along, making Rodney’s breath hitch in his throat.
“I’m not making any threats, Rodney. I’m your top – I expect your obedience in the bedroom. It all goes back to that issue of trust. I’m not playing a game here, Rodney. If you can’t do something you have to tell me – I’ll always listen. If you just don’t *want* to obey me – well, that’s something a bit different, and we’d have to talk about that.”
Rodney relaxed into his bonds. There was no trap here, designed to trick an unwary sub into making a mistake. John’s rules seemed deceptively straightforward, and Rodney found that he *did* want to please him. He had never been a particularly rebellious sub in any case – he wasn’t bratty on purpose to get attention as some subs were. He wanted to be sexually submissive, but his tops had never been strong enough to keep his interest, and they’d all tried to punish him for his smart mouth whereas John just seemed to find him amusing. It was different, and oddly reassuring.
“Now relax, and stop thinking…I’m going to turn you over,” John said, unfastening Rodney’s hands from the rail, and flipping him onto his stomach. He refastened Rodney’s bonds and then Rodney felt John straddle him. He moaned as John kissed the back of his neck, and stroked his hair. This felt so much more tender and intimate than his previous experiences.
“Sometimes I’ll want you still, and quiet, but not now,” John whispered in his ear. “I want to see the real Rodney, the one you keep hidden.”
“I don’t…” Rodney began, but then he gave a soft mewl of pleasure as John’s hands parted his buttocks, and John’s tongue slid between them. It felt so warm, so delicious, *so* incredibly good that he was incapable of coherent thought for awhile.
John lapped his anus with long, sweet strokes of his tongue, and Rodney grasped his chains in his hands and wriggled, abandoning himself to the pleasure. He opened his legs wider, to give John better access, and panted with pleasure as John’s tongue went deeper. John’s hands were firm on his buttocks, holding them apart, and Rodney felt his entire body melt into a puddle of sensation. He stopped thinking, and just responded to John’s every touch, moaning with each inward thrust of John’s tongue, and sighing with pleasure as John swirled around the sensitive opening. His body was writhing, rising and falling to meet that exquisite wet pleasure, and the only thing he remembered, dimly, at the back of his mind, was that he couldn’t come. He could enjoy this for as long as he wanted, but he mustn’t come.
Rodney wasn’t sure how long he lay there, just accepting all that intense physical bliss – at some point he zoned out, and when he came to he could feel John stroking his body and speaking to him in a low, affectionate tone.
“Where…what…?” Rodney blinked, raising his head and looking around, blearily.
“Ssh, it’s okay. I just wanted to get you completely relaxed. I’m going to take you again in a minute,” John told him. Rodney felt a kiss being pressed to the side of his face, and then John was unfastening him again, rolling him over once more, only to tie him to the rail again when he was lying on his back. Rodney felt himself tensing inside ever so slightly. He had loved the sensation of taking John’s big, hard cock into his body the previous night, but he wasn’t sure he was ready to do that again so soon.
“I want to look at you when I take you,” John told him, leaning over him. “And I want you to come with me inside you again. Straight after I’ve come, you can come. Understand?”
Rodney gazed up at him, nodding. “Like last night,” he murmured. “Is there a reason why?”
John grinned, his white teeth flashing bright inside his tanned face. “You’re thinking too much McKay. We’re gonna have to work on that.”
“It’s just…it seems important to you,” Rodney replied.
“It is. The only time I want you to come in the next few weeks is with me inside you,” John told him.
“What?” Rodney tried to sit up but his cuffs pulled him back down onto the bed. He’d had plans to masturbate in his room when they were apart, but John’s plans seemed to be headed in an exponentially different direction.
John grinned again, and pressed another kiss to Rodney’s dismayed lips. “You heard,” he said. “Call it training if you like. I want you to associate me being inside you with you being able to come. I want you to crave taking me into your body, Rodney, knowing you’ll get some release when I’m done.” Then he dropped his head down, and nuzzled at Rodney’s ear. “I know you’ll be apprehensive about anal sex for awhile – one night isn’t going to change that immediately,” he murmured, his breath tickling the side of Rodney’s face. “I want you to look forward to it, Rodney.”
“Last night was fantastic,” Rodney said.
“But now you’re a little bit tense again, yes?” John gently tickled Rodney’s left nipple and Rodney sighed.
“A little,” he admitted.
“That’s okay. I want you to be honest. I will take you again, Rodney – but it’ll be good, like it was last night, and afterwards you’ll get to come.”
John kissed him again, and then he reached for the lube on the nightstand and slid down Rodney’s body. He pushed Rodney’s legs apart, and next thing Rodney knew something cold was being circled around his anus. He willed himself to relax, but his old tendency to clench at the thought of being penetrated returned.
“Ssh. It’s okay. We can take as long as we like,” John told him, grinning at him.
Rodney closed his eyes and let himself go limp in his bonds as John played with his anus. Rodney became used to the sensation of John’s fingers sliding into his body, in and out, sometimes one, sometimes two, and then three. He remembered the previous evening and how good it had felt having John ride him like that. John had the widest, most powerful cock of any top he’d been with, but miraculously his body had stretched to take it, and it had felt so amazing to take it into him, and have John claim him with it.
Slowly, Rodney started to relax again. It was easy to relax with John – his body, as usual, was always one step ahead of his mind, and it always went very relaxed and calm whenever John was close by. His cock was flagging now, still a little apprehensive about what was to come, but Rodney hoped John wouldn’t neglect it.
Finally, John seemed to think he was ready, and Rodney watched as his top slathered lubricant over that hard, thick cock, and then pushed Rodney’s legs apart again, and positioned himself between them. Rodney pulled his knees back, opening himself up for John to take him, and John gently parted his buttocks and then pressed his cock into the slicked opening.
Rodney closed his eyes, trying to get accustomed to the sensation – somehow he had the feeling he was going to be in this position a lot from now on. His anus remained clenched at first, and John did what he had the previous night, and just dipped the tip of his cock in and then backed out again, pressing a little harder each time until he made a determined push to get past the ring of muscle. Rodney gave a startled shout. Going in, it always felt like he couldn’t take it, and this time around there was still a residual burn from the previous evening, and he whimpered, trembling. John slid in the rest of the way, and then he lay on top of Rodney, fully inserted inside him, his hands coming to rest on either side of Rodney’s head.
“Ssh, just take some time,” he whispered. He claimed Rodney’s lips with his own again and Rodney sighed. His body melted against his top’s, and he felt his ass loosen up around the powerful intruder lodged deep inside. The burn soon wore off, and before long Rodney was enjoying the sensation of John lying on top of him, his hard cock pressed deep within his body. He loved the kisses John kept bestowing on his lips, and the way John was looking down at him, his hazel eyes full of some shining emotion that Rodney had never seen in a lover’s eyes before.
“God you feel good,” John murmured to him. “When I’m not inside you I want to be. I’ve never felt as good as I do when I’m in you. When we go back to work, I’ll have to call you to my office every few hours just so I can take you.”
Rodney moaned softly. He knew that John was trying to turn him on, to get him erect again, and it was damn well working!
“You’ll catch me looking at your ass when we’re out in the city, and I’ll be thinking of this.” John pulled back, ever so slightly, and bounced his hips to illustrate the point, and a wave of white hot pleasure fizzed through Rodney’s body. John grinned and then moved his hips back again and thrust in. Rodney gave a startled gasp as his entire body seemed to ripple. John got into a rhythm, taking Rodney slowly, with long, leisurely strokes. Rodney remembered that John had already come this morning, so he wasn’t urgent. He smiled down on Rodney as he rode him, sliding in and out of Rodney’s body with gentle, loving thrusts that relaxed Rodney even more. He felt himself growing hard again as John gazed down on him, and John’s hard cock claimed him for his own once more.
He was lost in this moment, completely wrapped up in his top. Right now, he didn’t care if he got to come or not. He just wanted to feel John moving inside him, to see the expression in John’s eyes when he took him, and to offer up his naked, chained body for his top to use in any way he liked.
John seemed to sense his mood, and his smile faded, and his expression became more intense, and once again Rodney felt that sensation of a warm, sweetness flow between them. He was John’s. He belonged to this man who was claiming him so expertly, and he wanted nothing more than to surrender his body to him, to allow him to take his pleasure from it. This…*this* was the real him, the one John told him he kept hidden. This was him finding his own submissive headspace, for the first time in his life, knowing he could relax and be himself because he was with someone he trusted.
Now they were moving as one, John thrusting powerfully into his open, relaxed body, Rodney moving in time to those thrusts, welcoming every single one deep within. His nerve endings were tingling, and his cock was rock hard, weeping pre-come, but there was no question of him coming before he was entitled to do so – he belonged to John, and would do as he’d been ordered, and his body went into a thrilled spasm as he thought that. Then he felt John shudder, and a warmth spread inside him.
“Rodney!” John shouted, his face scrunching up. “Oh shit…Rodney,” he whispered, giving one last, half-hearted little thrust. Rodney knew that John had come, and then, just a split second later, his own cock erupted, splattering his stomach and John’s with his come.
Rodney hadn’t even been aware he was so close, that he was just holding on for John’s climax, but the way John had hollered out his name as he had his orgasm had triggered an immediate and instinctive reaction in Rodney’s body.
John smiled down at him, and then collapsed on top of him. He rested his head in the crook of Rodney’s neck and just lay there, the two of them completely as one.
Rodney didn’t want to move. Not ever. He wanted to lie here, supine and bound, his body still clenched tight around his top’s cock, John’s hair tickling the underside of his chin, for the rest of his life. Finally, John moved and Rodney gave a whimper of disappointment as he withdrew his cock from Rodney’s anus.
Then he moved, slowly, to unfasten Rodney’s cuffs, before throwing himself back down on Rodney’s body again. Rodney wrapped his newly-freed arms around him, and kissed the side of his top’s exhausted face. It all felt so raw, and kind of emotional, and he closed his eyes as he felt an unfamiliar prickling behind his eyelids.
“Rodney?” John moved, and Rodney felt the light press of a kiss on his cheek. “Hey.” John rolled to one side and pulled Rodney into his arms. Rodney kept his eyes tightly shut. He had no idea what kept happening when they were making love but afterwards he felt so vulnerable, as if he’d laid his soul bare, offered it up, naked and shrivelled and shivering, for the taking.
John didn’t say anything, he just kissed Rodney’s hair, and held him close, his arms a safe haven while Rodney struggled with all the unfamiliar emotions coursing through his body. How had he thought he could do this? Be with someone like this, who wanted to love him, who wanted to know him, inside out?
He was already starting to crave John’s touch – where would that end? It wasn’t just the sex, even though that had been mindblowing and extraordinary and so exponentially better than any sex he’d ever had before that it might as well have been a different act. No, it was the light in John’s eyes when he’d looked at him while thrusting into him, and the way Rodney had felt offering himself up to John to take.
He’d never actually *felt* submission like this before, had never allowed himself to surrender to his inner submissive, and he had let all his guards down in the process. The high had been unreal and sublime, but now he worried that he could get too used to something this good, and he already knew it wasn’t going to last. That didn’t usually matter because he wasn’t that personally invested in his relationships – his smart mouth kept any kind of sentimentality at bay, and he never, ever talked about his feelings.
Yet now he was lying here, tears leaking out from behind his eyelids, and he resolutely refused to cry. He had no idea why crying was even an appropriate response in this situation. John rocked him, his skin salty and musky, and Rodney clung to him.
Rodney struggled to get himself together, and only when he was sure he had managed it did he open his eyes again. Much to his relief John didn’t ask him any awkward questions – he was oddly protective, and held Rodney tight in his arms for a long time, before finally getting up and escorting him into the bathroom.
John held him close under the warm shower water while kissing him the entire time, and Rodney just stood there, arms wrapped around John’s body, unable to fight the way he felt when John was holding him. Was this what being in love felt like, he wondered, or just the post-sex haze? Was he in love with John? He’d never expected to fall in love with anyone, certainly not with a military fly-boy with sticking up hair and an easy manner than hid a passionate, edgy personality.
When they were done, John got dressed and went to the mess hall to get some food. While he was gone, Rodney sat on the side of the bed and gazed at the picture of John’s parents on the nightstand.
“You two have a lot to answer for,” he told them, picking up the silver frame and glaring at them. The two men grinned cheerfully back. “He’s too good for me,” he muttered. “I, of course, am too good for the universe generally, but that’s different – it’s more of a brain thing. In the relationship sense – I’m not in his league at all. I am so gonna screw it up. And him probably. You won’t be smiling then.” He put the picture back down with a thump.
John returned a few minutes later clutching a tray containing enough food to last them an entire day. Rodney raised an eyebrow.
“You meant it? The whole, having sex all day thing?”
“Sure. Why? You have any other plans?” John grinned, putting the tray down on the table. Rodney rushed over, and surveyed the food eagerly.
“Nope – food and sex – sounds like an unbeatable combination to me,” he replied, sitting at the table and grabbing a bread roll. He stuffed it into his mouth, whole, suddenly realising how hungry he was. The sun was high in the sky, and they’d spent the entire morning making love.
Rodney swallowed the roll down whole, without even tasting it, then surveyed the tray again, trying to decide what to eat next. John took a pastry and broke a piece off, then held it up to Rodney’s mouth. Rodney hesitated. Was that where this was going? He wasn’t sure that was a good idea. He wasn’t sure about anything right now though – he needed some thinking time. So, instead of accepting the food with his mouth, he reached out and took it from John’s hand with his fingers, noticing the little flash of disappointment in the other man’s eyes as he did so.
“So, how is this going to work when we go back out there?” Rodney asked, gesturing with his head at the door as he ate. “I mean…are there any rules?” Most tops he knew had a whole host of rules, not that he’d ever taken that much notice of them. John looked surprised.
“Nope. Why don’t we figure them out as we go along?” he said.
“Really?” Rodney stuffed a pancake into his mouth, and chewed frantically. John gave a little wince.
“Really. Well, except for the rule about not coming unless I’m inside you. That one I expect you to keep.”
Rodney’s chewing ceased immediately – he’d forgotten about that. “Mmabout that,” he said, around his mouthful.
“No arguments, Rodney. I’m right here, along the hallway, and I’m happy to take you whenever you want, so there’s no reason for you to go without.” John grinned at him.
“I’m over the whole penetration thing,” Rodney said, reaching for some coffee to wash down the pancake. “I’m so over that.”
John just grinned at him. “Nice try, Rodney, but even if that were true, I still like the idea of your cock being at my mercy.”
“Oh nice.” Rodney made a face at him.
“I’m just gonna feel jealous if it has any fun without me,” John grinned.
“You won’t necessarily know,” Rodney said confidently.
John laughed out loud. “Remember all those conversations we’ve had about your poker face?” he said. “You’re a terrible liar, McKay. I’ll always know.”
“Hmph.” Rodney made another face, and searched the table for more food.
“We’ll take it slow,” John told him. “It’s early days and I want us to feel our way together. You’re just discovering something about your own submission, I think, and there’s a hell of a lot that’s taking me by surprise too.”
“Really?” Rodney glanced up, surprised by that. From where he stood, it looked like John had everything completely under control.
“Really,” John said quietly.
“And what about discipline?” Rodney asked, because most tops he’d known wanted to talk about that.
“Well, there’s no way I’m letting Peter or anyone else punish you again, so if you screw up out there then your ass is mine,” John told him firmly. Rodney thought about that for a moment, and then nodded. He had accepted John as his top, so, technically speaking, it was John’s right, and to be honest he didn’t see it happening again. His finger was no longer pressed on that self-destruct button, and he had no desire at all to piss off Elizabeth or anyone else. What a couple decided about the way their relationship worked in private was another matter, but John wasn’t being very forthcoming on that topic.
“Talking about out there – can we keep this quiet for now?” Rodney asked quietly. John frowned, and his expression changed. “It’s just…I need some time to get my head around this. I don’t want anyone knowing until I’m ready,” he said.
That wasn’t entirely true. One part of him wanted to go out there and tell everyone who his new top was. He wanted to shout it from the treetops, and see their faces when they realised that he’d landed himself the most lusted after top on the expedition. But another part of him wanted to keep it quiet until he could get his head around what was happening to him.
Usually in a relationship you didn’t have to face seeing your top every day at work, as well as every evening around the base even when you weren’t spending time in each other’s company as a couple. Doing so under so many watchful eyes made Rodney feel uncomfortable. He tried to explain that, as best he could, to John, and, finally John agreed.
“Okay. But don’t take too long,” he said. “Because I really doubt I’ll be able to be all that discreet for long. I want everyone to know that you’re mine, Rodney, because so help me if any other top on this base gets it into their head that you might be available then…”
His hands clenched into tight fists and Rodney gazed at him, feeling an odd wave of affection for his top. John might look as if he had all of the right answers, but, where his own emotions were concerned, John was completely in thrall to his jealousy. It made Rodney feel less as if he was the only one feeling his way in this relationship – John clearly had his own problems to figure out.
“Are you done with the eating?” John asked. “Because it’s been half an hour since I last touched you, and my fingers are starting to itch.”
“Are you completely insatiable?” Rodney grumbled, enjoying the little warm tingle he got from knowing just how much his top wanted him.
“Yup. Now get up and get your ass over here,” John grinned.
End Part 11
Chapters
Index
1. Trouble With A Capital ‘T’
2. Propositions
3. On The Team
4. Escalation
5. The Training Collar
6. The Commitment Collar
7. Rodney’s Stalker
8. The Beach
9. The List
10. Trust
11. The Truly Spectacular Blowjob
12. Shielded
13. Shadows
14. The Collaring
15. Sharing a Plate
16. The Punishment
17. Shield Redux
18. Synergy
19. Home
Chapters
Index
1. Trouble With A Capital ‘T’
2. Propositions
3. On The Team
4. Escalation
5. The Training Collar
6. The Commitment Collar
7. Rodney’s Stalker
8. The Beach
9. The List
10. Trust
11. The Truly Spectacular Blowjob
12. Shielded
13. Shadows
14. The Collaring
15. Sharing a Plate
16. The Punishment
17. Shield Redux
18. Synergy
19. Home
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